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A love that grew – my Turkey!

by sjgeorgieva (12/31/2008)

A love that grew - my Turkey!

I am no longer sure what love would be or at least how much it could grow and how one can evaluate it…it is just too infinite in terms of expressions…and poor me - there have been times when I thought I knew what love was…
I am a Bulgarian. If you are aware of Bulgarian history, it would be challenging to understand my love to Turkey. Yet, this love is stronger than one could expect a love toward a country could be. It is love that grew from individual and spread over a whole world. Now, while writing this my tears are dropping because it hurts me…the roots of my love have been taken out from my world and the only thing I can do now is just talk about it…and, believe me, words could be too damaging and painful sometimes!
It was a man, a Turkish man who inflamed my passion to this country – his homeland. And he knows his homeland so well believe me…so well as to make me fall in love with it just as I fell in love with him. It might sound banal and I will try to keep you safe from boredom…if I fail, it is my failure…
I knew Turkey from history and all that people in Bulgaria think about it and that means that I knew it in negative light – 500 years of murders, torture and humiliation…I have always tried to keep clean from prejudice and hatred. But I truly cleaned myself from it when I met this man. I felt his emotionality the very first moment of our acquaintance. And his knowledge about world and human soul became more and more evident for me as we proceeded with our relationship. It was an emotional relationship, it passed through many dimensions, it expressed in various ways, more than ever people do…yes, we met on the Internet but then we met physically and it was a flash in my already captured heart. He shared with me so much about the beauty of this country – Turkey – the unique charm and diversity of its nature and rich history…he told me I was going to fall in love with Turkey and at first I could not even realize how true his words would be…even fatal…because now it is too painful to have that love inside and not being able to share it with the one who inspired it…
Word after word, day after day, emotions flowing between us and what we call love took place in my heart and then overwhelmed it all! I was discovering a real treasure – in the man whom I was afraid of at first, because of his wild passion and spiritual flame, and his homeland – the place where he breathed the air that I want to breath now too. It was him who first opened the way to that horizon and then me myself kept on looking for other ways and broaden this horizon further and deeper…it was already in flames – my poor lovable heart. It was much stronger – every day, every thought was coming closer and closer to this – I was more and more interested in discovering the place where ancient philosophy was born – the place where, together with the spirit of Heraclitus a man of flesh and blood lived and loved me and had faith in me like nobody ever did before! 
It was more than a temptation to open my eyes widely for that miracle – I have never been there but I tried, oh, God, I tried so hard and it was hard in terms of effort but not in terms of desire and will to know more about it. I read many books and articles about history – of Turkey, of Bulgaria, about language and spirit, culture and religion – I am originally a Christian but I got so interested in Islam for its dwelling in the Turkish people hearts, I wanted to know more and more and all! I understood so many things about that wonderful man – Ataturk, who gave a new birth to that country, who did the impossible to make it a completely modern state! I have seen his portrait on the wall in the office of the man I love, the man who showed me this horizon, who kidnapped my heart and filled it with emotion – a real man of Turkish passion! I think I can understand very well the reasons for that huge respect!
This might be too banal for the reader but it is a feeling that I have never had so strong before!
It is a great pleasure to study Turkish language as the language of this love of mine – it makes me feel somehow closer to him and to his world. And I wish once in my life I could have the opportunity to see this sacred place from inside – and breath the air he breathes. 
I love Turkey. I love my own homeland now because of this love – it faces me new and richer – I got to know more about my own country by getting to know more about Turkey – there is no subordination of interest, no comparison of love…love is out of measure – it grows as it feels and opens new horizons. I want to share it. I want to be able to share it with all and make it understandable…it is hard to translate it to other people because it is too subjective in a way…but it is fed by objective values, by real treasures – by the spirit of time and mankind ability to remember, to forgive and…love!

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