What no spouse of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he´s staring out the window.

Well, anyway, I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that like most books, it had too many words. The plot was the same one that all James Bond books have: An evil person tries to blow up the world, but James Bond kills him and his henchmen and makes love to several attractive women. There, that´s it: 24 words. But the guy who wrote the book took *thousands* of words to say it.

Or consider "The Brothers Karamazov", by the famous Russian alcoholic Fyodor Dostoyevsky. It´s about these two brothers who kill their father. Or maybe only one of them kills the father. It´s impossible to tell because what they mostly do is talk for nearly a thousand pages. If all Russians talk as much as the Karamazovs did, I don´t see how they found time to become a
major world power.

I´m told that Dostoyevsky wrote "The Brothers Karamazov" to raise the question of whether there is a God. So why didn´t he just come right out and say: "Is there a God? It sure beats the heck out of me."

Other famous works could easily have been summarized in a few words:
* "Moby Dick" -- Don´t mess around with large whales because they symbolize nature and will kill you.
* "A Tale of Two Cities" -- French people are crazy.

-- Dave Barry

To be or not to be.
               -- Shakespeare
To do is to be.
               -- Nietzsche
To be is to do.
               -- Sartre
Do be do be do.
               -- Sinatra

It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.
-- Mark Twain

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)
       -- by Charles Dickens

       A lawyer who looks like a French Nobleman is executed in his place.

The Metamorphosis LITE(tm)
       -- by Franz Kafka

       A man turns into a bug and his family gets annoyed.

Lord of the Rings LITE(tm)
       -- by J. R. R. Tolkien

       Some guys take a long vacation to throw a ring into a volcano.

Hamlet LITE(tm)
       -- by Wm. Shakespeare

       A college student on vacation with family problems, a screwy
       girl-friend and a mother who won´t act her age.

Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

-- Shakespeare, "The Tempest"

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive.  Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ´Come on, buddy, let´s go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he´s got a spoon. Back off. I´ve got the toe clippers right here.´
--Jerry Seinfeld

You´re not my type.  For that matter, you´re not even my species!!!

Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)
       -- by Margaret Mitchell

       A woman only likes men she can´t have and the South gets trashed.

Gift of the Magi LITE(tm)
       -- by O. Henry

       A husband and wife forget to register their gift preferences.

The Old Man and the Sea LITE(tm)
       -- by Ernest Hemingway

       An old man goes fishing, but doesn´t have much luck

Sorry to break into what seems like your personal thread, but I have to mention Crime and Passion too....... 670 pages if you read the notes, or how about The Golden Notebook, by Doris Lessing, a mere 576 pages of shear drivel, so here is my synopsis of the two:

Crime and Passion - You can appear to be a mad man but if you own up to a crime you will go to jail

The Golden Notebook - Coloured notebooks make life so much more organised or do they?