Hello CANLI
only now i know you are from Egypt
so our habit dont different on Egyptian customs, but there are very few differences in Egypt, for example, when girls marry, her family ,who are attending the marital home, while in Iraq, is the husband who is attending the marital home, family members living together within family relationships with connections love and respect, when a daughter marries she leaves her family, or son can stay with the family, and lives with his wife and small family within a big family
and some of our customs is somewhat close to the Muslim Turks, i knew that by chating some friends in Turkey

İ will PM you about it elham
İts not like that exactly.

Canli, I thought your topic "Let the West Talk" was a great topic. You were willing to at least try to understand and want to hear how our culture was depicted, rather than believing everything you hear in the media.

I also enjoyed reading your post regarding the lifestyle in Egypt. Sometimes I get a clearer picture from members here than researching on the internet. What better way to experience another culture, through members here at this site.

How about gestures? We have representation from Britain, Poland, Turkey, Egypt, Iraq, China and more...how wonderful! Pointing (first finger extended others tucked) in America is O.K., everywhere else it is not. I pointed to ask for the bread in Turkey and Cem and his brother started laughing because my thumb was apparently slightly between my first two fingers (I just told the whole restaurant f... you!). How embarrasing! Any gestures in your culture that are really rude? Making a circle with your thumb and first finger is rude somewhere...but I forgot where...in the U.S. it means "O.K".

Also what about touching...Turkish people please comment on this too please. My Kaynana has touched me pretty much everywhere...was she sizing me up or what? In America you would never touch anyone but your partner in these places! Is there a special privelege of a mother-in-law?

What about touching otherwise...here it is safe to touch people on the back of the shoulder and that is pretty much it. Young kids you can pat on the head to show affection, I know in some countries this is not ok. In Turkey I guess it is ok to give a small child a pat on the bottom, in the U.S. maybe the parents would think something and call the police! 30 years ago this would be o.k. but people in the U.S. are very worried about inappropriate touching. (look at Michael Jackson...yikes)

OK I have been away so this post is rather late, but would like to add my two cents worth (its probably worth less, but would like to say it anyway )

First I would just like to say that I absolutely HATE personal attacks on this forum. Disagree all your want, but why attack somebody personally? To me, it shows a lack of ability to defend your argument when you have to resort to attacking someone’s character, appearance or religion to make your point.

The two threads about East and West were intended to try to bridge the gap and share the positive things about our cultures and find similarities. I feel it was violated. I have been very opinionated about cultural issues in the past, but like to feel that I am always open to change my views as more knowledge is gained. There was definitely an anti-Islamic tone to some of the posts and it was uncomfortable reading to see Canli being victimised in that way and her intelligence doubted. You know, its really OK to criticise eachother’s countries – it does not have to turn into an argument always ( ), but I think it is WRONG to criticise someone for their faith, as long as it is a personal belief and that person does not try to use their faith as a weapon or for superiority.

While I understand, and share, some of the concern regarding aspects of other cultures which violate human rights and condone a patriarchal society, I do not think that targeting and blaming individuals on this forum is the answer. How arrogant to assume that WE, with our so-called democracy and economic superiority, have the right to attack other cultures in such a venomous way? Are we so arrogant that we think that members of that culture do not find fault, and will not make changes themselves? Do we have such lack of faith in human nature that we think that nobody native to those cultures can see wrong in violent or sexist acts? Frankly, I am too concerned about my own country’s violence, sexism and disregard for human rights!

I am not known for my “mild mannered” approach, but I do hate bullying and unnecessary personal attacks. Femme you know I love your posts normally, and I also know you wont take this as an insult

Finally I would just like to comment on the increasingly misogynist posts on this forum. IT IS JUST AS BAD TO CRITICISE WOMEN on this forum as it is to criticise your religion or race. Please treat us with the same respect that you ask for.

OK I finished! You can all wake up now

I am also guilty of violating this thread by writing criticism of the East - although the thread was meant to build understanding. I apologize, especially to Canli.

aenigma
offff
i thought you were kidnapped by a handsome turk! and never see you again!
but you are back!
hehehe i got your "approaches"!
well, nevermind! possibly got too thick skin to get offended that easily. im not a little princess, you know!
as for my harsh posts, dont worry, cato got deleted them all!

glad to see you back!

ps.i dont promise to turn into a princess and speak "mild".