When there is a waiting line, just use the men´s room.   But make sure, you have that Kleenex with you for whiping clean the toilet seat, that is VERY needed.

"Be aware that the tube will feel warm" -

A friend sent me this this morning....

This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a
woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her
rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds!  When I looked back she was
halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man,I don´t scare easily, but she scared me so much; I dropped
my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand!

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car
using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked

My Cell Phone away from my ear and fell into the coffee 
between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, 
ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an
important call.

Damn women drivers

At first I was embarassed but I guess I can laugh at it now. I drove my car to a field and got out to do some running, the field looked empty so I thought I´d do some dancing, and I had some Bollywood mp3s on my mp3 player and thought I´d do the classic run across the fields doing all these cheesy dance routines, miming along as if in a film. Only after a while did I hear laughing and realise there was a group of young teenage boys sat under a tree watching. So I quickly sprinted back to the car blushing like an idiot

That´ll teach me that you never know who is around!

Driving home tonight I spotted a cat on the side of the road, at the pelican crossing.  A car was approaching me from the opposite direction.  I looked in my rear view mirror, the car had stopped at the crossing and the little cat crossing the road

 This made me laugh initially....then I got a little scared! 

 I´m with you there!   She could at least have given us the story behind the picture! 

 I would have given the story had I not been in therapy all day because of it!!

The UK´s Heatwave Plan - and not it is not a joke

http://www.dh.gov.uk/en/Publicationsandstatistics/Publications/PublicationsPolicyAndGuidance/DH_099015