Someone on TC started the ´Turkia´ thing (I think it was Erdinc 2 or 3 years ago) - so that people pronounced ´Türkiye´ properly.  But I not refer to ´Turkia/Türkiye´ if I was speaking English and if I was (trying) to speak Turkish then I would, of course, say ´Türkiye´. 

Surely it´s normal to say the name of the country/city/nationality you are talking about as it is pronounced in the language you are speaking!  I wouldn´t say to a French person -  ´Je suis English´ or ´I am Anglais´, ´J´habite en London´ or ´I live in Londres´ - so it´s either ´Türkiye´de otuyurum´ or ´I live in Turkey´ - not a mix!

(Sorry - a bit offtopic but that ´Turkia´ thing has annoyed me for quite a while!!)

I totally agree.. there is no such thing as  "Turkia"  if it´s English Turkey, or in Turkish is Türkiye..  I live in England for the past 20 years and never had any problem if I said "I am originally from Turkey" !!

This will have to be one of the weirdest discussions I´ve ever read.  What makes turkish guys so good.  I am married to one of those very handsome turkish guys who seem to be the best thing in the world.  Granted they know how to treat and and charm a woman before marriage and Allah help you after it.  I thought he was the best thing it ever happened to me and now I pray every night for a divorce.  I am not saying that all turkish men are that way but, I´ve been reading comments throughout this site and they seem to be very similar with what I am experiencing.  And trust me I am also muslim and the appeal was the fact that he was muslim.  If you want to exchange one subservient life for another is your choice.  All I am saying that the reasons why you want a turkish guy are a little imature and if you succceed it may bite you in the butt.  Good luck though.

 Looking back at some of your earlier posts at the end of last year - this is all a bit sad - I´m sorry to hear that things haven´t worked out the way you hoped. 

Irishclove: I am so sorry. Your case is an example for one of the negative stereotype what are in the heads, when we are hearing about Turkey or Arabian countries. And it is so sad, because I am sure not every Turkish male is the same.  I hope you will find a better partner after the divorce.

Lady in the red: Thanks for speaking about this whole "Turkia" vs. "Turkey" question. I would like to prefer to call every country on its own language. So Turkey is "Türkiye", Austria is "Österreich", Hungary is "Magyarország". But nobody could follow my message if I use these names.

I think it is bit offensive when someone hears the "Hungary" word, when he calls me as "hungry". Similar happened with Turkey, when an American quiz player believed it means only the bird, not a country...

 I don´t see how it´s offensive, just a little ignorant because the English word ´hungry´ means nothing in your language does it?  Stupid people will always make stupid jokes though - that´s the way of the world.

´Oh you´re from Hungary?  Are you always ´hungry´? Haha! - just a silly joke really, ´hungry´ isn´t an offensive word!   As far as Great Britain goes, Scottish people take great exception to being referred to as ´Scotch´ - which they will tell you is a whisky and not a nationality! 

Anyway - just my opinion and if I ever  meet you I promise not to call you ´hungry´

(oh - and as for an American not knowing that Turkey is a country.....no comment!!  (sorry GG, Lisa and Teaschip) (oops! and Alameda!)

 No partner for me no more.  I´ve learned my lesson.  One of the main reasons why I agreed to marry because I thought we will be together forever, we had religion in common and I had this image that turkish couples value marriage.  Once I actually went to Turkey that image kind of shatered.  It seems the younger generation couples no longer value marriage.  I trully believe that a man turkish or not has the right to demand a lot from his spouse, but he should also give back.  In most turkish marriages the woman and children are provided for by the husband and the husband should expect to a certain extent to be pampered.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAMA9P-4qCk

 ^ Europe is a country....

 I never been to Hungary, I hear it is a very beautiful country.  The closest I´ve been to it was Cluj-Napoca Romania.  Lots of people of hungarian decent there, as a matter of fact lots of them spoke hungarian.  Food was awesome, especially the soups.

 I too am sad to read your situation.  I´m curious why are you praying every night for a divorce?  If you are so miserable, get it over with....now....before you have children.  Which can happen as long as you are "together".

 I too read some of your earlier posts and notice it appears you are hardly married a year. 

If you are absolutly sure you do not want to continue in this marriage.  Many states have different types of marriage endings....the longer you are in it the harder it is.  It looks like you got married in Turkey, which is another issue....but in the US...

Here is a link regarding divorce in all US states.

More on divorce and resources too

Many states make it much easier to divorce when the marriage has been of a short duration.  After five years it gets more complicated and some things are automatic, like property division.

I doubt your husband married you just to get a visa or such type of thing.  Most probably he had dreams and hopes too.  As you are from different cultures "marriage" carries with it different connotations, even if you are both Muslims. 

Hi, I´m Cocoanna from Singapore. What I really see here about the discussions is really a lot to do with inter-countries marriages. And one thing to take note of is that Turkey is in fact an interesting country, coz it is really in the middle of Europe & Asian. (Eurasian country.)

It really depends on which part of Turkey the man Fatimah will meet. Cities area guys are more open-minded while those from the villages are more traditional. And with all the easy access to internet learning, people´s mindset are changing fast too.

Well, my race is Eurasian, I´m a product of West meet East. I do believe that people from different countries can come together in marriages but it really takes a lot of efforts from both sides to make it work. And that includes both families and mutual cultural understanding too. 

My paternal grandpa is from Portugal, who travel & met a local girl in Burma... married her and produced 18 kids!!! Wow!!!!

Then my dearest Papa (2nd son) came to Singapore to seek his fortune and met my Mama who is from China... so they married and had 3 kids... I, being the youngest.

I always wondered if I will even have such a cross-distance & culture marriages as what they went through... then my chance came when I met a turkish guy online. We became online friends in sept 07 coz he wanna learn English, as he saw in my profile that I am a kindergarten English teacher.

Now I am also in love with him and I did fly to see him last year  in March for a week... after 5 months of daily non-stop chatting.... highest record is 13.5 hours on a sunday. We even have our meals in front of the pc, only going away for nature calls. That was how ´in love´ we were in the beginning.

Well, I got to admit that being in an environment where the people did not even speak a common language (English) as me is a bit depressive. My guy and I can only communicated using paper & pen all the times... yet on the other hand, it was really romantic and interesting. Not to mention all the funny incidents caused by the barrier in language... they are unforgettable.

Especially that incident when both are us are trying to use all kinds of funny gestures to buy groceries in supermart. I almost had to end up making the sounds of the animals (meat) that I wanna to buy. All the staff at the supermart were looking at us as if we are both totally ´nutcases´.... hahaha!

Yes, I also admit that Turkish people are very humorous and I love watching the comedies... it crosses all language barriers coz the shows are sooooo funny.

Till this day, we are still keeping in touch by email and sometimes through MSN every few days... it is about 21 months of relationship now... the unique love for each other will still be there even if we cannot be together. At least we did take wedding pics & had a small celebration with friends for memories before I left for Singapore. 

Coz his parents are not ready for a daughter-in-law who cannot speak their language as well as I´m from another faith. He is the only son, with 2 younger sisters. He´s been trying to convert me, while I´m also teasing him to convert, coz of my strong upbringing in my faith. My Godparents will nagged at me if I ever think of converting. Yet it is fun as we learn to compare notes on our 2 different faiths; I teach him my Bible and he teaches me his Quran.

Then he teaches me basic Turkish while I also try to teach him my mother tongue in Mandarin. The best part about having different mother tongues? When we get angry with each other, we used our own languages to ´scold´ each other. It is so funny when the other person got to go check dictionary on what the hack we did said earlier.... hahahaha!

We did make a pace to try to meet each other once in a year till death do us part... Or maybe until the day when he settled down with a sweet Turkish wife as what his parents would preferred. But till then, we can always be heart to heart best friends. 

Turkish people are generally warm and nice. And depends a lot on the upbringing too, as I am lucky to meet a guy who cares a lot about his family. I values strong family ties (Asian blood in me, I think) and that is the main point I am very attracted to him. And yes, Turks are very protective of their women.

I remember he brought me to Izmir and other Turks try to get to know me. They even went up to him and ask if they can have sex with me, despite the facts I did followed his advice to dress like a ´turkish girl´. (Long sleeved top with long jeans, only exposed my face, hair  and hands.) I did try to be as low key as possible when we goes out.  (My country is tropical and very hot all year round, my normal wear will be mini short & cool top... my Turkish guy will ´faint´ if I wear that in his hometown. He always say people will think I am a ´bad girl´. Ooops... )

Anyway, he scolded them and quickly brought me back to his car and went back home. He did shared with me coz I´m foreigner and some Turks will think I am ´easy´. I felt very safe under his protection. He is a gentleman who command respect among his workers, even though they are older than him. Coz of his gentle yet firm manners, I can see that he is a good leader. His workers are also very friendly.

At first when I met his workers , they do not look at me. I wondered why until he shared that according to his faith, Muslim men does not look at other man´s wife. So there are a lot of cultural & religious habits we need to understand and accept in order to fit into the families norm there. This is important in all marriages. U agreed?

I have learnt a lot from him about Turks. One thing I know is that if a Turk is sincere as friend, he will respects you and ask your permission. But need to be careful coz being guys, they always want to see you in webcam and sometimes want to try test if they can see ´more´ further. I have learnt to only open cam to my good Turkish friends, and not just to any Turks.

It takes time to know a person, regardless of countries or races or culture. There will always be the good among the bad, the bad among the good... and people does changed with age.

Marriage can be heaven on earth, and it can be hell on earth as well. It really depends on what Fatimah wants... And the Turkish man she might meet in life.

I wish her luck in her search.