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What made you smile today :)
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| 160. |
03 Dec 2007 Mon 12:06 pm |
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A quote from M.Swan's" The Good Grammar Book"p.20-simple present revision with all respect for both sexes.
"Why computers are like women?
Nobody understands the language they use when they talk to other computers.
They never tell you what is wrong,and if you don't know you are in trouble.
they remember your smallest mistake for ever.
Why computers are like men?
They know a lot of things but they are very stupid.
After you get a good one for yourself,you soon see a better one.
They like to go fast but they always crash"  
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| 161. |
03 Dec 2007 Mon 03:27 pm |
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Quoting kafesteki kus: A quote from M.Swan's' The Good Grammar Book'p.20-simple present revision with all respect for both sexes.
'Why computers are like women?
Nobody understands the language they use when they talk to other computers.
They never tell you what is wrong,and if you don't know you are in trouble.
they remember your smallest mistake for ever.
Why computers are like men?
They know a lot of things but they are very stupid.
After you get a good one for yourself,you soon see a better one.
They like to go fast but they always crash' |
and you were saying?... 
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| 162. |
06 Dec 2007 Thu 02:10 am |
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my 7 year old Spanish student fumbling in my bag!!!My question"what r u doing???"Answer-"Spying on you!!!"
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| 163. |
06 Dec 2007 Thu 02:14 am |
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rhetorical questions and kush ))))))))))))))
how dare you??????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how could you??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| 164. |
06 Dec 2007 Thu 12:00 pm |
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Old is but gold is 
If Santa answered his mail honestly...
Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.
How about I send you a f....... book so you can learn to read and write?
I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask
for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
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Dear Santa, want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid 'Francis' nowadays? I bet you're retarded.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots
make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favour? Leave me a bottle of scotch.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you
do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year.
Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging sh*t may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa
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Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into
our home?
Love,
Marky
Mark,
First, stop calling yourself 'Marky', that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live
in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa
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| 165. |
06 Dec 2007 Thu 03:04 pm |
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Quoting portokal: Old is but gold is
If Santa answered his mail honestly...
Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.
How about I send you a f....... book so you can learn to read and write?
I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
-----
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask
for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
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Dear Santa, want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid 'Francis' nowadays? I bet you're retarded.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots
make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favour? Leave me a bottle of scotch.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you
do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year.
Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging sh*t may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa
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Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into
our home?
Love,
Marky
Mark,
First, stop calling yourself 'Marky', that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live
in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa
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All of the above!
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| 166. |
06 Dec 2007 Thu 05:46 pm |
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Love the letters to Santa!!
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| 167. |
06 Dec 2007 Thu 05:50 pm |
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Me too!
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| 168. |
06 Dec 2007 Thu 06:52 pm |
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Quoting portokal: Old is but gold is
If Santa answered his mail honestly...
Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.
How about I send you a f....... book so you can learn to read and write?
I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
-----
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask
for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
-----
Dear Santa, want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid 'Francis' nowadays? I bet you're retarded.
Santa
-----
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots
make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favour? Leave me a bottle of scotch.
Santa
-----
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you
do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa
-----
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year.
Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging sh*t may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa
-----
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into
our home?
Love,
Marky
Mark,
First, stop calling yourself 'Marky', that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live
in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa
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more from santa's collection)
Dear Santa,
Why are you always making toys for everyone? You make a lot of toys.
-- Stacy
Dear Stacy,
Because it beats making license plates or folding laundry.
Violating parole,
Santa
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas are election results that are definitive.
-- Chris
Dear Chris,
Pack your bags and be by the chimney at 11 p.m. Christmas Eve; the flight to Albania takes but a few minutes by reindeer. (There aren't many nice children there for me to visit, but I can still manage an air-drop if I'm out of parachutes.)
Speech ain't free (nor is the ride),
Santa
Dear Santa,
How can you manufacture all those toys and give them away without ever going broke?
-- Samantha
Dear Samantha,
Simple, dear. The elves are chained to their workbenches, and any time a union tries to form, I toss the ringleaders out in the snow. I'm Santa, darn it, and I'm the only game in town.
Keeping alive the spirit of Andrew Carnegie,
Santa
Dear Santa,
Why are you so darn fat?
-- Blair
Dear Blair,
Because when I go house to house on Christmas Eve and look at all those tiny sweet sleeping faces, I find that I can never eat just one.
Savoring each morsel,
Santa
Dear Santa,
I don't like my younger sibling Dana anymore. The kid's mean, chews up my toys, and smells weird. I'd like a new one, please.
-- Leslie
Dear Leslie,
You're in luck! Neither Dana nor your parents wanted you any more either, so by replacing you I can kill three birds with one stone.
Returns accepted w/ receipt only,
Santa
Dear Santa,
You don't *really* eat kids, do you? Only the Grinch does that sort of thing, and he's ugly and hairy and green, and you don't look like that at all!
-- Laverne
Dear Laverne,
Hate to burst your bubble, kid, but you have no idea what I look like under this rubber mask.
Trick or treat,
Santa
Dear Santa,
Why do people call you Kris Kringle?
-- Francis
Dear Francis,
Because the name Brimburgle Schnartlin Zimbrelowski is a real pain to spell. (Trust me; you never grew in Phillipsburg, New Jersey.)
Phonetically last but not least,
Santa
Dear Santa,
Why do we always leave cookies and milk out for you on Christmas Eve?
-- Jackie
Dear Jackie,
Because with all the driving I have to do, hot wings and beer make people nervous.
Happy fender-benders,
Santa
Dear Santa,
Why does Rudolph have a bright shiny schnoz?
-- Cameron
Dear Cameron,
Because he's the only reindeer who's not a brown-noser.
Hankering for flank steaks,
Santa
Dear Santa,
Do you believe in the Easter Bunny?
-- Mackenzie
Dear Mackenzie,
I did, until last year. Now the larder is empty again. Did you know he was filled with vanilla nougat?
Still wishing for visions of venison,
Santa
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| 169. |
06 Dec 2007 Thu 10:32 pm |
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Bikinis Vs. Burkas
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| 170. |
07 Dec 2007 Fri 12:58 am |
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80 roses and a birthday.
20 more will sure make a most desirable prediction.
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