Hey plzz can u guys put some Turkish jokes. in Turkish lang lutfan.. in the mood to laugh


te$ekkurler,

kelebek

To add to my post.. I want ask to do not put dirty rude jokes.. only cute ones.. thanks

Nasreddin Hodja was having his ritual ablution by the river. He took his shoes off, put them aside. In a moment, river took away his shoes. He held up his hands to the sky, farted, and said," dear god, here is your ablution, give my shoes back" ( farting cancels the ablution in islam)

hehe.. lol.. funny

Nasreddin was new in being hodja. He was supposed to give the last ritual ablution to a corpse. While he was doing that in the river corpse escaped to his hands. He was shocked. When the relatives come to take the corpse he said " your uncle was a real faithful man. He became an angel while ı was doing the ritual" Relatives were all happy with this news, left. Couple hours later, another village called the relatives and said they have their uncle. Relatives gone mad, found Nasreddin
_You said our uncle became angel, next village found his corpse in the river.
_ He became an angel really.But I dont know what he had done up there so they push down him back!

Hasta her ay doktora gider. Bir ay doktor onu muayene ederek 'Bugün öksürüğünüz çok iyi' der. Hasta şÃ¶yle cevep verir: 'Tabii iyi olur doktor bey. Bütün gece sabaha kadar pratik yaptım'

Every month a patient goes to the doctor. One month while examining him the doctor says, 'Today your cough is very good'. The patient answers: 'Of course it's good Doctor. I practised all night until morning'

... from my lesson book

Another one...

Pelma and Selma have not seen each other since High School, where they used to be best friends. Pelin tells Selma she has a confession to make, so they decide to have lunch together at a cafe, and begin to reminisce about the past. Finally, the topic of old friends comes up:

Pelin: Eski okul arkadaşlarımızdan gördüklerin var mı?
Selma: Senelerdir hiçbirini görmedim. Memafih geçen yaz bir tanesine vapurda rastladım. Kim olduğunu tahmin et.
Pelin: Edemiyorum.
Selma: Ali Tan! Bizim Ali Tan! Seninle ben onu ne kadar beğenirdik! Okulda ikimiz de ona deli gibi aşıktık. Ama çok utangaçtık. Neyse vapurda konuşmaya başladık. Konuşurken onun da beni beğendiğini öğrendim! Bayıldım! Okulda Ali Tan beni beğenirmiş ama o da çok utangaçmış! Evliymiş şimdi. Ne yazık.
Pelin: Konuşurken benden bahsettiniz mi?
Selma: Hayır. Sadece ikimiz hakkında konuştuk. Beni hala sevdiğinden eminim. Eh, bu kadar yeter. Şimdi senin hakkında konuşalım. Biraz önce bir şey itiraf edeceğini söyledin. Etsene.
Pelin: Benim Ali Tan'la evli olduğumu söyleyecektim...

English
Pelin: Have you seen any of our old school friends?
Selma: For years I didn't see any of them. However, last summer I met one of them by chance on a ferry. Guess who it was.
Pelin: I can't guess.
Selma: Ali Tan! Our Ali Tan! How you and I used to like him! At school both of us were also madly in love with him. But we were too shy. Anyway on the ferry we started to talk. While we were talking I learnt that he also liked me! I was thrilled! Apparantly, at school Ali Tan liked me but he was also too shy! (It seems) He is married now. What a pity.
Pelin: While you were speaking, did you mention me?
Selma: No. We only spoke about the two of us. I'm sure he still loves me. Eh, this much is enough. Now let's talk about you. A little earlier you said there was something you wanted to confess. Won't you? (really an informal suggestion, not a question, but I wasn't sure how best to translate it)
Pelin: I was going to say that I got married to Ali Tan...

hehee. it WAS GREATTTTTTTTT.. plzzzzzzz add more

I like that

A Turk, father of 8 children, decides to go to Germany to earn enough money to build a house for his family. When he comes back after four years, he finds his children have grown up - but there is a small new baby. Angry he asks his wife how it happened that she gave birth to a child while he was far away. She said: "My husband, while you were abroad I missed you very much, and every evening I looked at your picture before I slept. So I became pregnant." Her husband is satisfied by her answer. His children grow up, and the ninth one becomes a handsome young man. Suddenly, the Turk asks his wife to show him the picture. "What picture?" his wife says. "Well, the picture you were looking at when I was in Germany!". His wife digs into the remotest places of her truncs, and finally shows him the old passport-sized photograph he gave her before he left abroad. The turk lengthly looks at the photo, and suddenly becomes red from anger. "My wife, you cheated me, on this picture you see only the upper part of my body. How is it possible that you became pregnant looking at it?"

a rabbit goes to the Doctors because he is feeling unwell
Rabbit;Doctor i've come out in a rash
Doctor;have you had any changes in your lifestyle
Rabbit;no Doctor.
Doctor;what have you been eating.
Rabbit;well normaly i have cheese on toast for breakfast,but this morning i thought i'd have my toast with jam.
Doctor;ahhhh thats a classic problem for you rabbits,it's a classic case of mixi-your-toasties