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help understanding turkish man
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140.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 27 Aug 2007 Mon 09:02 pm

Jealousy and possessiveness is rampant in men who have little or no control in their own lives. I think it is unfair to say Turkish men are all this way. I can assure you that mine is not and we have been together many years. I do notice a big difference in men who are educated as opposed to men who are not. From what I have seen in my travels in Turkey is that life is not easy for the average Turkish man (or woman for that matter). Not all get the education they need and many of them never leave their small farming villages except during tourist season. My point is, if you are trying to have an intimate relationship with a man from a small Turkish village, who does not have an education, and has not left his village or experienced life outside of Turkey, then you are probably going to have to accept his old fashioned ways or get out of the relationship.

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141.       kk1995
1 posts
 09 Mar 2016 Wed 07:01 pm

So something my Turkish boyfriend said today really upset me, which I don´t think he understands, so I think it may be down to cultural differnces, which is why I would really appreciate an opinion here A few weeks ago I borrowed my boyfriends Fenerbahce tracksuit because I had nothing to wear. The tracksuit bottoms are now lost and he asked me if I find them in my room to let himknow. I told him that because i lost them that if I couldn´t find them I would buy him a new pair and I looked up the ink. This is when he got very angry and told me that if I buy him a new pair he would never talk to me again. It was over text so at first I assumed he was joking. But he said "No I´m serious if you buy i won´t talk to you." I was so shocked that he would threaten me over something stupid like that, even at all. I´m Irish so this kind of behaviour in a relationship seems very strange and over dramatic, and frankly, abusive. We had a fight. He claims those kind of threats are normal in his culture. He´s 23 and I´m 20 and we´ve been together for almost 4 months. he says he really loves me and sees a future with me, and is usually very respectful, but I just don´t know what to make of this. I´d really appreciate if I could get some second opinions! Thank you!

142.       teaschip
3870 posts
 05 Aug 2016 Fri 01:06 am

Months later a reply but it seems very silly to me. Sounds like he has controls issues. Stay clear!

bydand liked this message
143.       Leo S
183 posts
 04 Jun 2017 Sun 09:27 am

 

Quoting kk1995

So something my Turkish boyfriend said today really upset me, which I don´t think he understands, so I think it may be down to cultural differnces, which is why I would really appreciate an opinion here A few weeks ago I borrowed my boyfriends Fenerbahce tracksuit because I had nothing to wear. The tracksuit bottoms are now lost and he asked me if I find them in my room to let himknow. I told him that because i lost them that if I couldn´t find them I would buy him a new pair and I looked up the ink. This is when he got very angry and told me that if I buy him a new pair he would never talk to me again. It was over text so at first I assumed he was joking. But he said "No I´m serious if you buy i won´t talk to you." I was so shocked that he would threaten me over something stupid like that, even at all. I´m Irish so this kind of behaviour in a relationship seems very strange and over dramatic, and frankly, abusive. We had a fight. He claims those kind of threats are normal in his culture. He´s 23 and I´m 20 and we´ve been together for almost 4 months. he says he really loves me and sees a future with me, and is usually very respectful, but I just don´t know what to make of this. I´d really appreciate if I could get some second opinions! Thank you!

 

I love how women read into a man´s every action. Did you ask him: "What´s wrong with me buying a new set of tracksuits for you"? Start there. Yes, I know months have elapsed, are you still together? Perhaps he´s a sentimental guy and his mother bought those trackies or something like that. I don´t see it as a big deal if he said that.

144.       Leo S
183 posts
 04 Jun 2017 Sun 09:47 am

 

Quoting Elisabeth

Jealousy and possessiveness is rampant in men who have little or no control in their own lives. I think it is unfair to say Turkish men are all this way. I can assure you that mine is not and we have been together many years. I do notice a big difference in men who are educated as opposed to men who are not. From what I have seen in my travels in Turkey is that life is not easy for the average Turkish man (or woman for that matter). Not all get the education they need and many of them never leave their small farming villages except during tourist season. My point is, if you are trying to have an intimate relationship with a man from a small Turkish village, who does not have an education, and has not left his village or experienced life outside of Turkey, then you are probably going to have to accept his old fashioned ways or get out of the relationship.

I don´t agree, I think you´ve bought into a cliche. I think each man´s composition is different, having a uni degree does not invisibly certify one as "open minded" or some how officially bestow one with a seal: "non-possessive male here". Human beings are diverse and so too is their psychological makeup.

How do you measure that? I´ve read countless articles of men of all types from large cities of Turkey of background taking actions that regretably for them in them in jail over their liaisons.

I know some villagers very well and I can say without question some of them are a class above their city folk in every aspect.

My advice (for OP) is stay in the relationship, try to make it work, fight for love and as a woman always listen to your heart...cause it´s never wrong. Late reply I know

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