Quoting Serdar07:

I got 2 advantages from TC... Through months
First... It's help with learinging some turkish but not the tranlsting section for 3 quarters of it is the same words and new members or some new birds who are in their way to be entrapted sending similar threads.

Second ... It gives me materials and characters for types of cheating or how to make a trap. May I use them in writing my novels in the future. The time is changing more novels will be about online loves...

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting Serdar07:

Well give me some time to collect some good stories here in TC then I can write a number of stories then posting them in both Englsiha and Turkish. Thanks for waiting

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting xkirstyx:

I don't get it?! what is the point in this thread??

Quoting Serdar07:

Quoting AEnigma III: Quoting Serdar07: Well give me some time to collect some good stories here in TC then I can write a number of stories then posting them in both Englsiha and Turkish. Thanks for waiting Well, I don't think we will have to wait too long...there is certainly plenty of "material" in this website

Quoting PamCoop:

Could you please not do this to me? you think this is fun, to discuss my biggest and worst problem? This was a final stop for me.. an embarassing thing to ask for but still i had no choice, to try to get help from nice ppl. And now you start to pick on me - why? Did i do something to you guys? I have not been rude or bad in anyway. So my question to you is - what kind of live do you live? What kind of ppl picks on others when they are already layin down??

Quoting PamCoop:

Could you please not do this to me? you think this is fun, to discuss my biggest and worst problem? This was a final stop for me.. an embarassing thing to ask for but still i had no choice, to try to get help from nice ppl. And now you start to pick on me - why? Did i do something to you guys? I have not been rude or bad in anyway. So my question to you is - what kind of live do you live? What kind of ppl picks on others when they are already layin down??

Quoting xkirstyx:

I still don't get why someone has started a post specifically about someone's serious problem. With other people making comments about being naive and foolish. What the heck!! All this girl has done has come on here to ask for translations to let the father of the baby know her true feelings about how scared she is about being pregnant. So why is there a thread of people insulting her?

Quoting portokal:

Quoting maria/mesut:

Pam & xkirstyx, i totally agree with you. I think this is horrible. I`ve read all the rude comments and i am shocked. No matter how many times you`ve seen this happen, or how tired you are of it - you treat people with respect. People here are rude to this girl and they make fun of her.. I DON`T GET THE POINT!!

Quoting portokal:

Quoting maria/mesut:

No matter how many times you`ve seen this happen, or how tired you are of it - you treat people with respect.

Quoting maria/mesut:

Come on Portokal - this is rude.

Quoting girleegirl:

Quoting girleegirl:

Quoting girleegirl:

Quote:

Quoting maria/mesut:

I`m sure we all agree we`re happy not to be in her shoes right now - so please be nice to this poor girl.

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting Deli_kizin:

Quoting maria/mesut:

I`m sure we all agree we`re happy not to be in her shoes right now - so please be nice to this poor girl.

Quoting portokal:

Quoting girleegirl:

Uhhh hello? Didn't you say for her to "grow up"? If that isn't judgmental I don't know what the hell is dear!

Quoting girleegirl:

Yeah...I am

Quoting xkirstyx:

I'm still confused...because she got pregnant in a situation that no-one wants to be in , and can see how upset she is, why are people just pointing out the negatives rather than trying to help. Of course, she realizes what she's done. Why not try to be nice rather than just point out that it's not a goos situation to be in? Are people actually feeling better for just telling this girl who is having such a hard time that she's made a mistake? And the people who sent her those rude negatvie private messages should be ashamed. Something I have seen happen a lot on this site, is people are very eager to judge, critisize etc. then say they are just helping. May be your intention, but maybe we should think about how it's coming across. Also, some people spend a lot of time on here posting and sending private messages. I think a lot of the people who agree with some comments are unaware of the private messages that are being sent in private too. But I have seen several girls receive unnecessary rude private messages. I just think a thread specifically about this situation was pretty vulgar.

Quoting maria/mesut:

I`m sure it`s not easy for her to talk about her privatelife here, but maybe this was her opportunity to get some help in the turkish language.

Quoting maria/mesut:

Quoting xkirstyx:

I'm still confused...because she got pregnant in a situation that no-one wants to be in , and can see how upset she is, why are people just pointing out the negatives rather than trying to help. Of course, she realizes what she's done. Why not try to be nice rather than just point out that it's not a goos situation to be in? Are people actually feeling better for just telling this girl who is having such a hard time that she's made a mistake? And the people who sent her those rude negatvie private messages should be ashamed. Something I have seen happen a lot on this site, is people are very eager to judge, critisize etc. then say they are just helping. May be your intention, but maybe we should think about how it's coming across. Also, some people spend a lot of time on here posting and sending private messages. I think a lot of the people who agree with some comments are unaware of the private messages that are being sent in private too. But I have seen several girls receive unnecessary rude private messages. I just think a thread specifically about this situation was pretty vulgar.

Quoting AEnigma III:

Kirsty you are acting "holier than thou" but I have seen you posting comments on messages for translations before - one in particuarly about Puzzled (which I notice you have deleted now) as particularly harsh

Dont be so sanctimonious

Quoting turquoise:

this really sad, im not happy to tell you that but most turkish guys are like that,when it comes to a foreign girl most of them will think only about money or meat cuz,those kind of people already see the girls as a meat. so they like to play with foreign girls cuz its easier to have sex with them, i hear u ask why, cuz they grow up with no having sex and turkish girls prefer saving their virginity because our culture (even though there are many girls that not virgin they wont be in a relationship or sleep with those guys)and the guys im talking about never will get married with a girl not virgin,but when it comes to them they like to play with girls,yeah this sad and big ignorance..its so easy to say 'i love you' and easy to think you are in love with anyone but you all know it takes time...

i saw many foreign girls hurt by those stupids and complaining about them but i wanna ask that how come u can be fool that much and believe and trust a guy that you dont know well and you cant even talk to him with no translation. if you can that means to me you want an adventure.if you dont want an adventure please be careful and make sure about the guys and make sure you are safe,dont be fool and make sure your not doing any mistake,at least see if he still loves you after you go back to your country.

it came to pam in this post but shes not the only one having these problems.she has right to ask for help with translations and maybe she has nothing else to do and theres nothing shameful. people do mistakes thats life is a big experience.yeah she shouldve been careful but thats not what we should talk about actually. i have never talked about these things here once i did and i think i did a mistake.we should not judge people here if u dont want to help dont do anything else as well.

so pam, im sorry your having hard time and if u need help feel free to ask...

btw sorry for my bad english, i hope i could tell what i meant...

Quoting turquoise:

this really sad, im not happy to tell you that but most turkish guys are like that,when it comes to a foreign girl most of them will think only about money or meat cuz,those kind of people already see the girls as a meat. so they like to play with foreign girls cuz its easier to have sex with them, i hear u ask why, cuz they grow up with no having sex and turkish girls prefer saving their virginity because our culture (even though there are many girls that not virgin they wont be in a relationship or sleep with those guys)and the guys im talking about never will get married with a girl not virgin,but when it comes to them they like to play with girls,yeah this sad and big ignorance..its so easy to say 'i love you' and easy to think you are in love with anyone but you all know it takes time...

i saw many foreign girls hurt by those stupids and complaining about them but i wanna ask that how come u can be fool that much and believe and trust a guy that you dont know well and you cant even talk to him with no translation. if you can that means to me you want an adventure.if you dont want an adventure please be careful and make sure about the guys and make sure you are safe,dont be fool and make sure your not doing any mistake,at least see if he still loves you after you go back to your country.

it came to pam in this post but shes not the only one having these problems.she has right to ask for help with translations and maybe she has nothing else to do and theres nothing shameful. people do mistakes thats life is a big experience.yeah she shouldve been careful but thats not what we should talk about actually. i have never talked about these things here once i did and i think i did a mistake.we should not judge people here if u dont want to help dont do anything else as well.

so pam, im sorry your having hard time and if u need help feel free to ask...

btw sorry for my bad english, i hope i could tell what i meant...

Quoting maria/mesut:

Quoting turquoise:

i saw many foreign girls hurt by those stupids and complaining about them but i wanna ask that how come u can be fool that much and believe and trust a guy that you dont know well and you cant even talk to him with no translation. if you can that means to me you want an adventure.if you dont want an adventure please be careful and make sure about the guys and make sure you are safe,dont be fool and make sure your not doing any mistake,at least see if he still loves you after you go back to your country.

Quoting geniuda:

Sorry to say, but many girls (not all) join this site after (for whatever the circumstances) they had fallen for someone or after they have already made a mistake. Unfortunately, (and I speak for myself) for many of us, when we were new members of this site, we didn’t know where to start from, maybe many new members do not know there is a section called “Search in TC” to find out if someone else has asked for the same translation as theirs, again, this could possibly minimize the number “I love yous””I miss yous” translations so translators who kindly take their time would not get bored.
Regards

Quoting turquoise:

this really sad, im not happy to tell you that but most turkish guys are like that,when it comes to a foreign girl most of them will think only about money or meat cuz,those kind of people already see the girls as a meat. so they like to play with foreign girls cuz its easier to have sex with them, i hear u ask why, cuz they grow up with no having sex and turkish girls prefer saving their virginity because our culture (even though there are many girls that not virgin they wont be in a relationship or sleep with those guys)and the guys im talking about never will get married with a girl not virgin,but when it comes to them they like to play with girls,yeah this sad and big ignorance..its so easy to say 'i love you' and easy to think you are in love with anyone but you all know it takes time...

i saw many foreign girls hurt by those stupids and complaining about them but i wanna ask that how come u can be fool that much and believe and trust a guy that you dont know well and you cant even talk to him with no translation. if you can that means to me you want an adventure.if you dont want an adventure please be careful and make sure about the guys and make sure you are safe,dont be fool and make sure your not doing any mistake,at least see if he still loves you after you go back to your country.

Quoting turquoise:

this really sad, im not happy to tell you that but most turkish guys are like that,when it comes to a foreign girl most of them will think only about money or meat cuz,those kind of people already see the girls as a meat. so they like to play with foreign girls cuz its easier to have sex with them, i hear u ask why, cuz they grow up with no having sex and turkish girls prefer saving their virginity because our culture (even though there are many girls that not virgin they wont be in a relationship or sleep with those guys)and the guys im talking about never will get married with a girl not virgin,but when it comes to them they like to play with girls,yeah this sad and big ignorance..its so easy to say 'i love you' and easy to think you are in love with anyone but you all know it takes time...

i saw many foreign girls hurt by those stupids and complaining about them but i wanna ask that how come u can be fool that much and believe and trust a guy that you dont know well and you cant even talk to him with no translation. if you can that means to me you want an adventure.if you dont want an adventure please be careful and make sure about the guys and make sure you are safe,dont be fool and make sure your not doing any mistake,at least see if he still loves you after you go back to your country.

Quoting alameda:

...then there is was May West who when asked, "do you believe in love at first sight?" answered, "no, but it saves a lot of time"

Quoting turquoise:

this really sad, im not happy to tell you that but most turkish guys are like that,when it comes to a foreign girl most of them will think only about money or meat cuz,those kind of people already see the girls as a meat. so they like to play with foreign girls cuz its easier to have sex with them, i hear u ask why, cuz they grow up with no having sex and turkish girls prefer saving their virginity because our culture (even though there are many girls that not virgin they wont be in a relationship or sleep with those guys)and the guys im talking about never will get married with a girl not virgin,but when it comes to them they like to play with girls,yeah this sad and big ignorance..its so easy to say 'i love you' and easy to think you are in love with anyone but you all know it takes time...

i saw many foreign girls hurt by those stupids and complaining about them but i wanna ask that how come u can be fool that much and believe and trust a guy that you dont know well and you cant even talk to him with no translation. if you can that means to me you want an adventure.if you dont want an adventure please be careful and make sure about the guys and make sure you are safe,dont be fool and make sure your not doing any mistake,at least see if he still loves you after you go back to your country.

it came to pam in this post but shes not the only one having these problems.she has right to ask for help with translations and maybe she has nothing else to do and theres nothing shameful. people do mistakes thats life is a big experience.yeah she shouldve been careful but thats not what we should talk about actually. i have never talked about these things here once i did and i think i did a mistake.we should not judge people here if u dont want to help dont do anything else as well.

so pam, im sorry your having hard time and if u need help feel free to ask...

btw sorry for my bad english, i hope i could tell what i meant...

Quoting Lady_A:

I didn't read all the posts, but i think i get the picture...maybe it was answered before, but i want to ask a single question: why are turkish guys always so willing to have an adventure....i include here even married men and fathers and especially with foreign girls.

Quoting geniuda:

Quoting girleegirl:

Quoting Lady_A:

No it's not in human nature...and it's not right...and i had a very hard time avoiding the hustling of (some) turkish man...maybe we should both agree that not all foreign girls are the same and maybe not all turkish men.

Quoting Lady_A:

I have never heard things like that about Austria, but who knows...i take it you're a girl too...?

Quoting Lady_A:

Maybe you are right, i haven't travelled that much, but where i've been i've found no men like turkish (in the bad way)

Quoting portokal:

that Turkey can be far more safer for a woman than some western countries.

Quote:

But do not forget, 90% of those men/boys still think that there are two types of women/girls on earth: the ones they can marry, and the ones they can have fun.

Quoting Trudy:

Quoting portokal:

This forum was so far about being unexperienced, rushing into a love affair, charming, lies, popular culture, popular turism and sometimes sex tourism.
Either we agree or disagree on these, all these experiences are avoidable. By acting, behaving in a manner to avoid these.


Before my travel i gathered some infos, like this quotation below, taken from the Turkey Travel Planner, by Tom Broshnahan, author of the first editions of Lonely Planet Turkey.
(I must admit i have still many things to discover about turkish culture...
no offence please if this quotation has some discussable points. Personally i am looking forward on some interesting forum topics.)

__________________________________________________________
Women/Female Travellers in Turkey

What's it like to be a woman traveling in Turkey?

Most female visitors find Turks—both men and women—extremely welcoming, accommodating and helpful, and enjoy their trips immensely.

Am I crazy to think of traveling alone as a woman in Turkey?

Not at all, so long as you conform to local customs and attitudes (as in any country you visit) and take normal, common-sense precautions.

Will I get hassled because I'm a female?

Some women report being hassled—a little or a lot—in Turkey. Others report no problems at all. You can lessen the likelihood of bothersome hassle by dressing and behaving according to local norms. (Read on...)

Will I be in danger?

Violent crime, including assault and rape, is less common in Turkey than in many developed Western countries. No one can predict the future or what will happen to any individual traveler, but many people say they feel safer in Turkey than at home. Take common-sense precautions and observe local norms and you should feel safe in Turkey.

What sort of hassles might foreign women encounter?

Reported hassles include staring, minor groping and pinching, unpleasant sounds and comments, and unwanted romantic advances.

Are Turkish women hassled also?

Sometimes, but they have ways of avoiding most unpleasantness.

Do most men treat women this way?

Absolutely not! Most Turkish men are extremely polite, even courtly, toward women, Turkish or foreign, and will treat you with heartfelt respect and courtesy. You're likely to find most Turkish men more polite and solicitous of your welfare and happiness than many 'Western' men. You may even find that you miss this courtesy after you leave Turkey.

Here's what 'Cruise Diva' Linda Coffman says:

'IMO, there is no better city than Istanbul to either begin or end a cruise.

'I've been to Turkey three times and must add that there's nothing like a Turkish merchant to make an American woman feel welcome and desirable. Of course, it's probably got a lot to do with her American Express card.

'Seriously, I was in Istanbul last summer and felt perfectly safe wandering around shopping on Rumeli Street with a female colleague. We got lost a couple times and Turks on the street very helpfully pointed us in the right direction to find our hotel.'

What can I do to avoid occasional unpleasantness?

As in other Mediterranean countries with similar cultures, you should observe local customs. Do things with others (a female or male companion you know, or a mixed group) when possible. If you're traveling alone, introduce yourself to Turkish women or families, ask a question or strike up a conversation so that you are informally included with them.

In Turkey, as in many other countries, social encounters between men and women who are not relatives or close friends are conducted much more formally than they might be in Europe or--especially--Australia, Canada, or the USA. Also, this formality is maintained for a much longer time.

How can I be 'more formal'?

Dress neatly and act reserved. Be pleasant, but don't smile readily at men you don't know, even when conducting business (registering at a hotel, taking a taxi ride, etc). Be correct and formal, even on the third and fourth encounter. If a man responds by being overly friendly, you should be overly formal. Keep control of the situation, keep it on your terms.

What else can I do?

Set the rules for each encounter. Do things in public, or in group settings in which you know most of the people. Avoid being alone in private with a man or men you do not know well—especially in a car. (Mixed groups, including both Turkish men and Turkish women, are usually fine.)

Why can't I just be the way I normally am? Why do I have to do things differently?

Unfortunately, European and American movies, TV programs, magazines, books—and especially fantasy pornography—often portray 'Western' women as 'loose,' if not downright promiscuous: they go out to clubs and bars on their own, they talk to men to whom they have not been introduced, they even sleep with men they've known for only a short time and have no intention of marrying.

It's true of some Western women, so a Turkish man may assume that it's true of any particular woman—you, for example. Like any Western man, if he's attracted to you he may give it a try and see what happens.

Many Western women smile readily, at anyone. It's looked upon as good manners to smile and be cheerful. Turkish women, who act more formal, don't usually smile at an unfamiliar man until they feel assured that the smile won't be misinterpreted as a come-on. Thus, when a Turkish woman smiles at a man, it means she is willing to be more friendly. It's a calculated escalation of interest, not just part of a cheerful attitude.

So if you smile at a Turkish man just to be pleasant, he might interpret it to mean that you're interested in being even more friendly.

The problem, then, is that the cultural signals passed between men and women, and the expectations, might be quite different, and not what is intended. Neither person is wrong or right, just different. You need to be on the same wavelength for your signals to be taken as you mean them.

If you're not interested, you may give a signal to a Western man ('Get lost!') and he's supposed to wander away. To a Mediterranean male, 'Get lost!' might be taken merely as a pro-forma protest meant to protect your honor, to show that you didn't yield to his charms too easily. You're expected to protest, whether you're interested in him or not. When you say 'Get lost!' to him, it might have the effect of making you seem even more attractive; he might take it as a signal to increase the hit on you.

A half-century ago in Europe, the USA and other highly-developed countries, these same norms and customs were in effect. Well, they still are in Turkey and in many other more traditional societies. Observe them, and your chances of being hassled decrease dramatically.

(by the way, the webpage address is: http://www.turkeytravelplanner.com/details/WomenTravelers/index.html)
_________________________________________________________
It is not in my intention to discuss what TB states here, to agree/disagree on what he says about western or turkish cultures, i just want to point out that some of these advices are very reasonable and of good sense.
And useful.
According to this article, and not just, Lonely Planet states this also, that Turkey can be far more safer for a woman than some western countries.

It is much more up to the woman what is happening with her...
And the same goes about hustling, making offers...
A no answer is accepted as such.

Just my humble experience here.

Quoting Trudy:

Quoting alameda:

Ah Turquoise....if it were so easy to pick who you love! History and literature is full of mismatched tragic lovers. If we could be so rational in who and how we love, what kind of love would it be?

Quoting turquoise:

i wish all people were rational,actually thats the way you can find the true love and someone that you can feel and really love her/him as real friend,as your brother or sister,as your father or mother,as your baby, as a part of you and as the most important thing in your life, not just as a sweetheart.....because, being blinded by loving causes you not to see the other side of sharing the life and causes you to loose yourself in the way that opens into the life and the happiness.so you should always be logical...

Quoting turquoise:

i wish all people were rational,actually thats the way you can find the true love and someone that you can feel and really love her/him as real friend,as your brother or sister,as your father or mother,as your baby, as a part of you and as the most important thing in your life, not just as a sweetheart.....because, being blinded by loving causes you not to see the other side of sharing the life and causes you to loose yourself in the way that opens into the life and the happiness.so you should always be logical...

Quoting catwoman:

Quoting Lady_A:

Let's face it, how many of you can be really logical when it comes to feelings? How many times could you say no to something that felt so right in your heart?
And i guess it's better to "love" (and i use braketts because you can understand whatever you want) and be hurt or disappointed than not to love at all.

Quoting Lady_A:

Quoting catwoman: Quoting turquoise: i wish all people were rational,actually thats the way you can find the true love and someone that you can feel and really love her/him as real friend,as your brother or sister,as your father or mother,as your baby, as a part of you and as the most important thing in your life, not just as a sweetheart.....because, being blinded by loving causes you not to see the other side of sharing the life and causes you to loose yourself in the way that opens into the life and the happiness.so you should always be logical... So well said! This is not to deny the moment's charm, but reason should guide your behavior.

Quoting alameda:

Logic and love, surely you jest! Then, of course, there are many types of love. The love we talk about here is romantic love, and that rarely deals with logic.

More than likely the boy didn't believe the "Western girl" was a virgin. He treated her like she was an adventure. She believed his sweet words....it's tragic. Most tragic is that there may be a child born who will not know his father. Then someday that boy may be an old man, wondering where his child is....but it will be too late then....I've seen that. I knew a woman who was in a similar situation. Man fled, 14 years later he wanted to see his son, who wouldn't have anything to do with him.....and that is just one story I could tell out of many I've witnessed.