Turkey |
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is woman infertility a reason for...?
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| 1. |
10 Nov 2007 Sat 03:15 pm |
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I just got an email from my Turkish female friend,it upset me a bit and brought up the question "What happens to a woman who can't have children in Turkey from social point of view?"
Is it a reason to divorce?or to be somehow condemned?or even receive a lot of pressure from a family????
how much is medical treatment in such cases ?Are such women supported in any way?
anyway,if someone would provide me with answers,I would really appreciate.Thank you...
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| 2. |
10 Nov 2007 Sat 05:09 pm |
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Quoting kafesteki kus: I just got an email from my Turkish female friend,it upset me a bit and brought up the question "What happens to a woman who can't have children in Turkey from social point of view?"
Is it a reason to divorce?or to be somehow condemned?or even receive a lot of pressure from a family????
how much is medical treatment in such cases ?Are such women supported in any way?
anyway,if someone would provide me with answers,I would really appreciate.Thank you... |
Hi, A lot of the private hospitals in Istanbul do fertility treatment. I will try to find you a link for a hospital website in English.
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| 4. |
10 Nov 2007 Sat 05:43 pm |
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Ahum... is male infertility a reason for divorce? How does society look at that? Are they condemned? Do they get a lot of family pressure to go to a doctor? Or am I violating law 301 right now by questioning male fertility?
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| 5. |
10 Nov 2007 Sat 05:58 pm |
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Quoting Trudy: Or am I violating law 301 right now by questioning male fertility?
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Section 2, Sub-section 78b, Paragraph 12....unfortunately. Were you planning to visit Turkey again sometime soon 
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| 6. |
10 Nov 2007 Sat 06:01 pm |
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What will happen if I am fertile, but don't want to have kids 
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| 7. |
10 Nov 2007 Sat 06:09 pm |
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Quoting Chantal: What will happen if I am fertile, but don't want to have kids |
Very good question!
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| 8. |
10 Nov 2007 Sat 06:26 pm |
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Quoting Chantal: What will happen if I am fertile, but don't want to have kids |
something unacceptable, unthinkable!!!
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| 9. |
10 Nov 2007 Sat 06:37 pm |
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Quoting Chantal: What will happen if I am fertile, but don't want to have kids |
how will people know you are not infertile then? heh?
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| 10. |
10 Nov 2007 Sat 06:41 pm |
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Quoting thehandsom: Quoting Chantal: What will happen if I am fertile, but don't want to have kids |
how will people know you are not infertile then? heh? |
What a wicked, wicked man!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! 
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| 11. |
10 Nov 2007 Sat 06:43 pm |
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Quoting thehandsom: Quoting Chantal: What will happen if I am fertile, but don't want to have kids |
how will people know you are not infertile then? heh? |
why do people need to know?
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| 12. |
10 Nov 2007 Sat 08:38 pm |
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Quoting femme_fatal: Quoting thehandsom: Quoting Chantal: What will happen if I am fertile, but don't want to have kids |
how will people know you are not infertile then? heh? |
why do people need to know? |
to pressure her to go to a doctor
or her husband find reason to divorce her if he boring her
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| 13. |
10 Nov 2007 Sat 08:43 pm |
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Quoting elham: Quoting femme_fatal: Quoting thehandsom: Quoting Chantal: What will happen if I am fertile, but don't want to have kids |
how will people know you are not infertile then? heh? |
why do people need to know? |
to pressure her to go to a doctor
or her husband find reason to divorce her if he boring her |
ok, elham, lets make it clear.
are you saying that people or a husband would insit that the girl must go to see a doctor?
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| 14. |
10 Nov 2007 Sat 08:46 pm |
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Quoting elham: to pressure her to go to a doctor
or her husband find reason to divorce her if he boring her |
Hi Elham 
Seriously...would it REALLY be a valid reason for divorce? 
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| 15. |
11 Nov 2007 Sun 12:23 am |
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Quoting elham: Quoting femme_fatal: Quoting thehandsom: Quoting Chantal: What will happen if I am fertile, but don't want to have kids |
how will people know you are not infertile then? heh? |
why do people need to know? |
to pressure her to go to a doctor
or her husband find reason to divorce her if he boring her |
Elham ,please make head or tail of what you have just said,what does it mean that a husband is bored with his wife?????Bored????Bored????Or the husband frees her bcs he is boring her???clear ,elham,clear!!!!
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| 16. |
11 Nov 2007 Sun 12:38 am |
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Quoting elham:
to pressure her to go to a doctor
or her husband find reason to divorce her if he boring her |
could this be also read as: if he (is) boring her?
or i see Machiavelli in wrong places?
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| 17. |
11 Nov 2007 Sun 12:57 am |
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Quoting AEnigma III: Quoting elham: to pressure her to go to a doctor
or her husband find reason to divorce her if he boring her |
Hi Elham
Seriously...would it REALLY be a valid reason for divorce? |
divorce????who would like to have small d*d*s behaving like a father d*d*  
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| 18. |
11 Nov 2007 Sun 01:05 pm |
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Quoting kafesteki kus: Quoting elham: Quoting femme_fatal: Quoting thehandsom: Quoting Chantal: What will happen if I am fertile, but don't want to have kids |
how will people know you are not infertile then? heh? |
why do people need to know? |
to pressure her to go to a doctor
or her husband find reason to divorce her if he boring her |
Elham ,please make head or tail of what you have just said,what does it mean that a husband is bored with his wife?????Bored????Bored????Or the husband frees her bcs he is boring her???clear ,elham,clear!!!! |
What happened  ,im only kidding ,of course infertility is not sufficient reason for divorce, one of my relatives stay 14 years have no kids , but they never decided for divorce, , i think law of divorce in Turkey is in favor of women, if man want to divorce, and his wife refuses the divorce, there's nothing the man can do legally, and he still married to her.only both them have to agree on the divorce unless there are grounds for divorce but i don't know is infertility (for man or woman)reason for divorce in law of divorce in Turkey ??,Back to the beginning of this thread 
this the is head and tail
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| 19. |
11 Nov 2007 Sun 08:21 pm |
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Quoting kafesteki kus: I just got an email from my Turkish female friend,it upset me a bit and brought up the question "What happens to a woman who can't have children in Turkey from social point of view?"
Is it a reason to divorce?or to be somehow condemned?or even receive a lot of pressure from a family????
how much is medical treatment in such cases ?Are such women supported in any way?
anyway,if someone would provide me with answers,I would really appreciate.Thank you... |
I think if you got married with the intention to have children, it would be a cause for divorce anyplace. If you marry without that intention, of course, it would not be a cause.
Most people get married with the intention of starting a family.
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| 20. |
11 Nov 2007 Sun 08:35 pm |
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Quoting alameda: Quoting kafesteki kus: I just got an email from my Turkish female friend,it upset me a bit and brought up the question "What happens to a woman who can't have children in Turkey from social point of view?"
Is it a reason to divorce?or to be somehow condemned?or even receive a lot of pressure from a family????
how much is medical treatment in such cases ?Are such women supported in any way?
anyway,if someone would provide me with answers,I would really appreciate.Thank you... |
I think if you got married with the intention to have children, it would be a cause for divorce anyplace. If you marry without that intention, of course, it would not be a cause.
Most people get married with the intention of starting a family. |
i doubt if you understood the question. like usual of course.
couples in estern (more than 99%) marry intending to have children. so if a woman is not able to get pregnant is it a reason for a man to leave such woman.
so what is your point?
you actually didnt answer the question.
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| 21. |
11 Nov 2007 Sun 08:41 pm |
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Quoting elham:
What happened ,im only kidding ,of course infertility is not sufficient reason for divorce, one of my relatives stay 14 years have no kids , but they never decided for divorce, , i think law of divorce in Turkey is in favor of women, if man want to divorce, and his wife refuses the divorce, there's nothing the man can do legally, and he still married to her.only both them have to agree on the divorce unless there are grounds for divorce but i don't know is infertility (for man or woman)reason for divorce in law of divorce in Turkey ??,Back to the beginning of this thread
this the is head and tail
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anyway, its easy for a divorced man to remarry, whereas its not so in case of a woman.
elham, you were not kidding at all. you know very well that what you said previous is true. therefore many women are afraid of getting divorced. a divorced woman ruins the honor of her family.
and in most islamic countries a man can divorce his wife as easy as this: talaq, talaq, talaq!
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| 22. |
11 Nov 2007 Sun 09:17 pm |
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Quoting femme_fatal: Quoting elham:
What happened ,im only kidding ,of course infertility is not sufficient reason for divorce, one of my relatives stay 14 years have no kids , but they never decided for divorce, , i think law of divorce in Turkey is in favor of women, if man want to divorce, and his wife refuses the divorce, there's nothing the man can do legally, and he still married to her.only both them have to agree on the divorce unless there are grounds for divorce but i don't know is infertility (for man or woman)reason for divorce in law of divorce in Turkey ??,Back to the beginning of this thread
this the is head and tail
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anyway, its easy for a divorced man to remarry, whereas its not so in case of a woman.
elham, you were not kidding at all. you know very well that what you said previous is true. therefore many women are afraid of getting divorced. a divorced woman ruins the honor of her family.
and in most islamic countries a man can divorce his wife as easy as this: talaq, talaq, talaq! |
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| 23. |
11 Nov 2007 Sun 09:21 pm |
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leelu
turkey is not an islamic country.
as for the word talaq, google it.
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| 24. |
11 Nov 2007 Sun 09:23 pm |
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Quoting femme_fatal: leelu
turkey is not an islamic country.
as for the word talaq, google it. |
 for setting me straight ..
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| 25. |
11 Nov 2007 Sun 09:42 pm |
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And you, as usual, didn't understand my answer. Read it again and think about it. By the way it's spelled Eastern, not estern. Have you heard of spell check?
Quoting femme_fatal: Quoting alameda: Quoting kafesteki kus: I just got an email from my Turkish female friend,it upset me a bit and brought up the question "What happens to a woman who can't have children in Turkey from social point of view?"
Is it a reason to divorce?or to be somehow condemned?or even receive a lot of pressure from a family????
how much is medical treatment in such cases ?Are such women supported in any way?
anyway,if someone would provide me with answers,I would really appreciate.Thank you... |
I think if you got married with the intention to have children, it would be a cause for divorce anyplace. If you marry without that intention, of course, it would not be a cause.
Most people get married with the intention of starting a family. |
i doubt if you understood the question. like usual of course.
couples in estern (more than 99%) marry intending to have children. so if a woman is not able to get pregnant is it a reason for a man to leave such woman.
so what is your point?
you actually didnt answer the question.
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| 26. |
11 Nov 2007 Sun 11:13 pm |
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Quoting alameda: And you, as usual, didn't understand my answer. Read it again and think about it. By the way it's spelled Eastern, not estern. Have you heard of spell check?
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i read your boring answer and wondered if kafekukus was satified with it, because i wasnt.
its like she asked about trees but you told about planets. as usual everything in general and neutral. 
btw, alameda, stop being that pathetically silly and dont poke the spelling, mind your own spelling errors. or is that how you reply when you have nothing to come up with?
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| 27. |
16 Nov 2007 Fri 02:07 am |
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Quoting femme_fatal: Quoting alameda: And you, as usual, didn't understand my answer. Read it again and think about it. By the way it's spelled Eastern, not estern. Have you heard of spell check?
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i read your boring answer and wondered if kafekukus was satified with it, because i wasnt.
its like she asked about trees but you told about planets. as usual everything in general and neutral.
btw, alameda, stop being that pathetically silly and dont poke the spelling, mind your own spelling errors. or is that how you reply when you have nothing to come up with? |
clearvoyant or socerer???well,i am not satisfied of course...
I know more reasons for getting married instead of having children.But it is due to social convention and expectations.Children can add colours and trigger marriage life in a way but are they the most important in a marriage?
Do people get together as a married couple only due to them???!!!!No way!What about mortgage,so called love,etc...
By the way ,what according to you can make good marriage ?except kids???
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| 28. |
16 Nov 2007 Fri 02:15 am |
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Quoting alameda: I think if you got married with the intention to have children, it would be a cause for divorce anyplace. If you marry without that intention, of course, it would not be a cause.
Most people get married with the intention of starting a family. |
I think this is a very reasonable answer. I'm sure there are couples who can't agree on whether they both want or don't want or how many kids they want and that MAY be a cause for divorce.
If you marry without the intention to have children or are open to adoption or don't care then it's not a problem. However, especially in eastern countries, unfortunately most people have a very traditional outlook on a family and they think one HAS TO have kids when she/he gets married.
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| 29. |
16 Nov 2007 Fri 02:16 am |
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Did you read/see this part of my reply? "I think if you got married with the intention to have children, it would be a cause for divorce anyplace. If you marry without that intention, of course, it would not be a cause." Obviously that means some get married WITHOUT the expectation of having children. I will not get into the list of other reasons, if you don't mind.
Quoting kafesteki kus:
clearvoyant or socerer???well,i am not satisfied of course...
I know more reasons for getting married instead of having children.But it is due to social convention and expectations.Children can add colours and trigger marriage life in a way but are they the most important in a marriage?
Do people get together as a married couple only due to them???!!!!No way!What about mortgage,so called love,etc...
By the way ,what according to you can make good marriage ?except kids???
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| 30. |
16 Nov 2007 Fri 02:19 am |
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Quoting alameda: Did you read/see this part of my reply? "I think if you got married with the intention to have children, it would be a cause for divorce anyplace. If you marry without that intention, of course, it would not be a cause." Obviously that means some get married WITHOUT the expectation of having children. I will not get into the list of other reasons, if you don't mind.
Quoting kafesteki kus:
clearvoyant or socerer???well,i am not satisfied of course...
I know more reasons for getting married instead of having children.But it is due to social convention and expectations.Children can add colours and trigger marriage life in a way but are they the most important in a marriage?
Do people get together as a married couple only due to them???!!!!No way!What about mortgage,so called love,etc...
By the way ,what according to you can make good marriage ?except kids???
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oh,yes...Sorry,I am living in such a rush that I do not pay attention to words only to a gist.....Hope to slow down and read carefully next time!!!
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| 31. |
16 Nov 2007 Fri 02:39 am |
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Quoting kafesteki kus: oh,yes...Sorry,I am living in such a rush that I do not pay attention to words only to a gist.....Hope to slow down and read carefully next time!!! |
No problem, it's the sign of the times. We are all in a rush, multitasking and don't have much time to read carefully, at least you finally did. I'll try to make my posts easier to read. 
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| 32. |
17 Nov 2007 Sat 02:46 am |
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I dont think infertility is such a 'shame' anymore in Turkey like it used to be, but like in any country that is slowly developing, mental development goes slowwer than technological. There may be many hospitals that perform research and give treatments, but as havign children is still important in Turkey, i guess it must be hard for these women to find a partner. Ofcourse there are exceptions who are willing to give up the childwish for the sake of love, but when you are born in a society where common thought is that marriage is needed to have children and continue your family.. i can imagine it will be difficult.
Someone mentioned that it could be a reason for divorce if you had the intention to start a family and one of the two parties turns out to be unable to have kids. I agree, but that causes another question: what happens if the partner is fertile, but due to an accident, miscarriage or anything, looses the ability to ever have babies?
(Btw the above is not written from facts, just my thoughts onw hat Ive seen and heard, so I could be mistaken)
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| 33. |
17 Nov 2007 Sat 02:51 am |
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Just for the record here, I have a female Turkish friend, who married to a Turkish man. They were married for 20 years and no children. There was never any talk of divorce, although they both wanted children. After 20 yearsm and in her early 40's she had a healthy child. Needless to say, they were both overjoyed.
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| 34. |
17 Nov 2007 Sat 02:56 am |
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Quoting Deli_kizin: I dont think infertility is such a 'shame' anymore in Turkey like it used to be, but like in any country that is slowly developing, mental development goes slowwer than technological. There may be many hospitals that perform research and give treatments, but as havign children is still important in Turkey, i guess it must be hard for these women to find a partner. Ofcourse there are exceptions who are willing to give up the childwish for the sake of love, but when you are born in a society where common thought is that marriage is needed to have children and continue your family.. i can imagine it will be difficult.
Someone mentioned that it could be a reason for divorce if you had the intention to start a family and one of the two parties turns out to be unable to have kids. I agree, but that causes another question: what happens if the partner is fertile, but due to an accident, miscarriage or anything, looses the ability to ever have babies?
(Btw the above is not written from facts, just my thoughts onw hat Ive seen and heard, so I could be mistaken) |
thanx for sharing your personal thoughts))the problem is that in some societies marriage is only for having kids as if they were the hubs of an universe.Respect and love seem to be in a background then.
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