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Successful Turkish-Foreign Marriages
(18 Messages in 2 pages - View all)
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1.       shama-uk
143 posts
 05 Jan 2008 Sat 01:12 pm

I am not sure whether or not a thread has ever existed on this subject but we seem to hear more unsuccessful stories here. I thought it would be interesting to do a mini-survey on how many successful inter-racial marriages there are at the moment and see if there are any common traits amoung the stories -- from the moment of meeting to the moment of marriage and beyond (e.g. how/where did you meet? How long was it before he/she introduced you to his/her family and friends? How long did the process from meeting to marrying take? What kind of wedding did you have (i.e. a traditional family type or just the two of you + witnesses, how is your relationship with their family? What problems, if any if any were encountered on the way? Who is carrying the financial burden now? Has he/she changed drastically from the time you met - either in a negative or positive way?) This topic may not be of interet to everyone but if anyone is interested in participating then i would be happy to begin with my story.

2.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 05 Jan 2008 Sat 02:11 pm

you are too brave shama..

3.       shama-uk
143 posts
 05 Jan 2008 Sat 02:34 pm

Quoting thehandsom:

you are too brave shama..

Hehe do you think so?!! I really think that it could show that not all holiday romances fall on the waste-side... or maybe i;m being naive(?)

4.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 05 Jan 2008 Sat 06:44 pm

Quoting shama-uk:

Quoting thehandsom:

you are too brave shama..

Hehe do you think so?!! I really think that it could show that not all holiday romances fall on the waste-side... or maybe i;m being naive(?)


I thought, you would start

5.       shama-uk
143 posts
 05 Jan 2008 Sat 07:12 pm

Quoting thehandsom:

Quoting shama-uk:

Quoting thehandsom:

you are too brave shama..

Hehe do you think so?!! I really think that it could show that not all holiday romances fall on the waste-side... or maybe i;m being naive(?)


I thought, you would start

Not so quick mate. We need a quorum of 5 to begin

6.       libralady
5152 posts
 05 Jan 2008 Sat 07:14 pm

Quoting shama-uk:

Quoting thehandsom:

Quoting shama-uk:

Quoting thehandsom:

you are too brave shama..

Hehe do you think so?!! I really think that it could show that not all holiday romances fall on the waste-side... or maybe i;m being naive(?)


I thought, you would start

Not so quick mate. We need a quorum of 5 to begin L)



I think you are brave too! Considering some of the threads like this one that have gone before, and how they have ended up

7.       shama-uk
143 posts
 05 Jan 2008 Sat 10:36 pm

Quoting libralady:

Quoting shama-uk:

Quoting thehandsom:

Quoting shama-uk:

Quoting thehandsom:

you are too brave shama..

Hehe do you think so?!! I really think that it could show that not all holiday romances fall on the waste-side... or maybe i;m being naive(?)


I thought, you would start

Not so quick mate. We need a quorum of 5 to begin L)



I think you are brave too! Considering some of the threads like this one that have gone before, and how they have ended up

But does go for people who actually made it to marriage? I cant believe they ALL ended in disaster!

8.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 05 Jan 2008 Sat 10:40 pm

Quoting shama-uk:

Quoting thehandsom:

Quoting shama-uk:

Quoting thehandsom:

you are too brave shama..

Hehe do you think so?!! I really think that it could show that not all holiday romances fall on the waste-side... or maybe i;m being naive(?)


I thought, you would start

Not so quick mate. We need a quorum of 5 to begin


You need another 4 Shama..

9.       lady in red
6947 posts
 06 Jan 2008 Sun 12:16 am

Quoting thehandsom:

Quoting shama-uk:

Quoting thehandsom:

Quoting shama-uk:

Quoting thehandsom:

you are too brave shama..

Hehe do you think so?!! I really think that it could show that not all holiday romances fall on the waste-side... or maybe i;m being naive(?)


I thought, you would start

Not so quick mate. We need a quorum of 5 to begin


You need another 4 Shama..



Only 4 needed for a quorum actually - so there's you two and only two more needed!

10.       alameda
3499 posts
 06 Jan 2008 Sun 12:55 am

Well I know of more than a few Turkish/Western marriages that worked and are still working. I also know some that didn't. In my opinion it takes getting through the first 5 years to be counted as a success.

11.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 06 Jan 2008 Sun 01:30 am

Quoting lady in red:

Quoting thehandsom:

Quoting shama-uk:

Quoting thehandsom:

Quoting shama-uk:

Quoting thehandsom:

you are too brave shama..

Hehe do you think so?!! I really think that it could show that not all holiday romances fall on the waste-side... or maybe i;m being naive(?)


I thought, you would start

Not so quick mate. We need a quorum of 5 to begin


You need another 4 Shama..



Only 4 needed for a quorum actually - so there's you two and only two more needed!


I am not planing to post the details..she still needs 3 more..

12.       shama-uk
143 posts
 06 Jan 2008 Sun 11:04 am

Quoting alameda:

Well I know of more than a few Turkish/Western marriages that worked and are still working. I also know some that didn't. In my opinion it takes getting through the first 5 years to be counted as a success.

Oh dear, then i need to get through 2008 before i can count mine a success. So perhaps I will repost at the end of the year and tell you my story...

13.       alameda
3499 posts
 06 Jan 2008 Sun 01:17 pm

Quoting shama-uk:

Quoting alameda:

Well I know of more than a few Turkish/Western marriages that worked and are still working. I also know some that didn't. In my opinion it takes getting through the first 5 years to be counted as a success.

Oh dear, then i need to get through 2008 before i can count mine a success. So perhaps I will repost at the end of the year and tell you my story...



Congtratulations Shama. I wish you many more wonderful years success...

Oh, I'm sorry Shama....In rereading my post, it sounds harsh. it's just that most divorces take place in the first 2 1/2 years. It seems the first two are the honeymoon period, also I guess my idea of 5 years comes from California marriage laws.

Ending a marriage before 5 years is called Summary Dissolution. After five years to end a marriage becomes more complicated. There is also a ten year mark where certain community assets divisions and support are mandatory. It seems the laws indicate the longer you are married, the more you are married.

14.       shama-uk
143 posts
 06 Jan 2008 Sun 08:05 pm

Quoting alameda:

Quoting shama-uk:

Quoting alameda:

Well I know of more than a few Turkish/Western marriages that worked and are still working. I also know some that didn't. In my opinion it takes getting through the first 5 years to be counted as a success.

Oh dear, then i need to get through 2008 before i can count mine a success. So perhaps I will repost at the end of the year and tell you my story...



Congtratulations Shama. I wish you many more wonderful years success...

Oh, I'm sorry Shama....In rereading my post, it sounds harsh. it's just that most divorces take place in the first 2 1/2 years. It seems the first two are the honeymoon period, also I guess my idea of 5 years comes from California marriage laws.

Ending a marriage before 5 years is called Summary Dissolution. After five years to end a marriage becomes more complicated. There is also a ten year mark where certain community assets divisions and support are mandatory. It seems the laws indicate the longer you are married, the more you are married.

Thank you Alameda... I didnt actually think you sounded harsh at all - just honest. And i respect absolute honesty - as you will see from my own comments on certain topics

15.       alameda
3499 posts
 06 Jan 2008 Sun 08:35 pm

I'm curious how marriage (civil marriage) laws are in different areas. In the US each state has different laws regarding marriage rights. Some states states are

Community Property States It does not matter what the laws were in the state you had your civil marriage performed in, the state you reside in takes precedance.

It can get complicated in as much as it also entails

Intellectual Property

Quoting shama-uk:

........Thank you Alameda... I didnt actually think you sounded harsh at all - just honest. And i respect absolute honesty - as you will see from my own comments on certain topics [

16.       SERA_2005
668 posts
 06 Jan 2008 Sun 09:07 pm

Surely this we should be talking about how hard it is to keep a marriage together full stop not just when the couple concerned are of different nationalities etc.

17.       shama-uk
143 posts
 06 Jan 2008 Sun 09:50 pm

Quoting SERA_2005:

Surely this we should be talking about how hard it is to keep a marriage together full stop not just when the couple concerned are of different nationalities etc.

Marriages do need to be worked on and yes it can be hard work for some (that goes without saying) but when there are cultural/language/background differences different problems are encountered and need to be handled carefully and with a certain amount of wisdom. I admire Western people very much. I think they are much more willing to learn and integrate into their partner's ways than the other way round --initially at least!

18.       SERA_2005
668 posts
 07 Jan 2008 Mon 04:54 pm

Quoting shama-uk:

Quoting SERA_2005:

Surely this we should be talking about how hard it is to keep a marriage together full stop not just when the couple concerned are of different nationalities etc.

Marriages do need to be worked on and yes it can be hard work for some (that goes without saying) but when there are cultural/language/background differences different problems are encountered and need to be handled carefully and with a certain amount of wisdom. I admire Western people very much. I think they are much more willing to learn and integrate into their partner's ways than the other way round --initially at least!




I take your points and agree that there are added barriers to over come such as the ones you mentioned like culture,traditions,language and so on.I found in my experience that it is a challenge worth taking on as the rewards can be greater than that of a relationship where the couple are of the same nationality,speak the same language for example (as a first language anyway),share similar customs etc i suppose that way it is just easier because you know what to expect from each other but in my view half the fun is understanding the other person perhaps better than you might if they were not different than yourself because everything would just be assumed.Plus its important to remember here that in the case of a turkish marriage/relationship there is the family as well to consider here not just one person.

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