So must this...

 Sure honey, but with a bum of tons I still have a brain while you...... Did you insure the last few working cells?

BTW - talking about spelling, there is no extra h in ´weighed´

So you do agree that your bum is weighed in tons then?

Just for the record... 

The sort of weighed that applies to bums in tons does require the extra h...

 Also bad in maths dear? There goes your last cell..   Nurse! Can you bring the Ritalin, Valium and Oxycontin please?

Yes nurse, please do bring them...

Trudy is about to have a baby due to certain renegade cells in her body...

She is suffering...

Good try my tuna fish... 

Delivering a baby can´t be of more pain than is in your erm.... mind. Want your od before or after breakfast?

I would like it after I chow down my fat tuna sandwich (zero trans fat though), if you wouldn´t mind... hehe 

Can you still chew without teeth in your mouth? You´re spitting saliva so much that it´s obvious you don´t have any left.   

Still better than having a bum in tons, I guess...

I can always get my teeth fixed & wipe the spit...

What can one do about your tuna problem though? 

 It is you seeing tuna fish. Probably there is medication for that as well. Don´t forget to take all your pills lovely, you´re getting delusional.

And I suggest you shouldn´t forget about that special diet you embarked on Monday...

Make sure it doesn´t end in a feeding frenzy like it always does by Friday lunch time... There is still hope, remember... I wish there was a pill you could take to switch back from the ton scale to the milligram one... maybe one day, who knows...