ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't
believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams
don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the
only way to live life completely.

TEN... In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer,
smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great
risk.

FIFTEEN. Say
"bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for
others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps
to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in
your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

Well I too, have some good advice, which has always helped me through life....

HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN:-
Follow this advice if you wish to impress your girlfriend.
Compliment her; respect her; honor her; cuddle her;caress her;kiss her; stroke her; buy things for her; tease her; comfort her; protect her; hug her; hold her;wine and dine her;listen to her;care for her;stand by her; support her; love her.

HOW TO PLEASE A MAN:-
Follow this advice if you wish to impress your boyfriend.
Show up naked; Bring beer.

haha yours is definitely funnier Aenigma!! thats great! i will also be adding that to my site in the near future!!

well..? does anyone else have any "advice" for their fellow class members??

bod dude im here ...agree with u....dis is their problem if their man like dis...no need to bother

unfortunately dude...hehehhe

Men are like....
1. Men are like ........Laxatives...... They irritate the shit out of you.
2. Men are like ........Bananas...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ........Weather..... Nothing can be done to change them..
4. Men are like ........Blenders..... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .......Chocolate Bars.... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like .......Commercials...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like ........Department Stores..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ........Government Bonds..... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .......Mascara...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like .......Popcorn...... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like...Snowstorms .............You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ..... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like ........ Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

...not really advices...I know...but it is good to know what men are like anyway...

Ok ok i also know the following are not advices, but after aslan's post I couldn't resist

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.

Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Why is food better than men?
Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

What do a vagina, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.

Why do men like frozen microwave dinners so much?
They like being able to both eat and make love in under 5 minutes.

Why did God put men on earth?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Three words women hate to hear when having sex?
'Honey, I'm home!'

Why would women be better off if men treated them like cars?
At least then they would get a little attention every 6 months or 50,000 miles, whichever came first.

What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

What do ceramic tile and men have in common?
If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for life!

Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.

But this one is real advice! Read it and you ll understand:
a) how men can please women
b) how can a man avoid driving a woman mad
c) that women are paranoid


In the world of marriage/romance, one single rule applies to the men:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed ( +1 )
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow ( 0 )
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets ( -1 )
You go out to buy her what she wants ( +5 ) In the rain ( +8 )
But return with Beer ( -5 )
You check out a suspicious noise at night ( 0 )
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing ( 0 )
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something ( +5 )
You pummel it with iron rod ( +10 )
It's her pet ( -10 )

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner ( 0 )
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ( +1 )
Okay, it's a sports bar ( -2 )
And it's all-you-can-eat night ( -3 )
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team ( -10 )

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie ( +2 )
You take her to a movie she likes ( +4 )
You take her to a movie you hate ( +6 )
You take her to a movie you like ( -2 )
It's called 'DeathCop' ( -3 )
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15 )

YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable potbelly ( -15 )
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it ( +10 )
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts ( -30 )
You say, 'It doesn't matter, you have one too.' ( -8000 )

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
She asks, 'Do I look fat?' ( -5 ) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding ( -10 )
You reply, 'Where?' ( -35 )
Any other response ( -20 )

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned _expression ( 0 )
You listen, for over 30 minutes ( +50 )
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV ( +500 )
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep ( -10000 )

Now what chance do you have???