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Life of a Turkish Man
(148 Messages in 15 pages - View all)
[1] 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ...  >>
1.       krazegrl
27 posts
 11 Mar 2006 Sat 08:24 pm

Can anyone tell me what the life of a Turkish man, mid twenties, working as a waiter at a resort hotel would be like?

2.       Aenigma
0 posts
 11 Mar 2006 Sat 10:06 pm

Oooooo don't tempt me!! Erm, depends on the guy I suppose

3.       janissary
0 posts
 11 Mar 2006 Sat 10:06 pm

do you think all turkish boys do same things? everybody has a different life-style.

4.       Elisa
0 posts
 11 Mar 2006 Sat 10:28 pm

Quoting krazegrl:

Can anyone tell me what the life of a Turkish man, mid twenties, working as a waiter at a resort hotel would be like?



Can anyone tell me what the life of an English man, mid twenties, working as a bartender in a London pub would be like?

5.       janissary
0 posts
 11 Mar 2006 Sat 11:07 pm

sleeps on bed. drinks tea at breakfast.

6.       Elisa
0 posts
 11 Mar 2006 Sat 11:35 pm

Quoting janissary:

sleeps on bed. drinks tea at breakfast.



Really???!! Tuhaf!
Is that a newly discovered species then? Don't tell me he needs some bread now and then???

7.       Barkin
0 posts
 12 Mar 2006 Sun 12:44 am

Quoting krazegrl:

Can anyone tell me what the life of a Turkish man, mid twenties, working as a waiter at a resort hotel would be like?



doesn't have a proper education, learns english by practising with tourists, not prefered by turkish girls therefore generally doesn't have a girl friend, dreams of living abroad and likes attacking especially english girls
i can't believe myself that i replied such an unnecessary question

8.       Boop
785 posts
 12 Mar 2006 Sun 02:18 am

Obviously bored Barkin..... Bless you

9.       erdinc
2151 posts
 12 Mar 2006 Sun 03:21 am

He is a little too much interested on top end cell phones. He knows all the unnecessary information about makes and models.

Most of his collogues are very close friends of him. They share their experiences especially about foreign girls and there is always some dirty talking going on now and then.

They have come to this place for the season only and they stay together in a place close by. They share their lives. It is almost impossible for him to exist as an individual and to have his own values, style, private life etc. There is no such thing as enjoying your free time on your own.

He can not survive on his own. This is especially true when living in a foreign town. He must find his own people. For him the place where people are originated is very important. If another guy is from the same town as himself or a neighbor town, this alone is enough to be good friends and to share almost everything about his life after hours.

Of course it is not easy living far away from relatives (since independence is something they have heard about but are not sure what it is exactly). So, because of the sorrow of being far from relatives or the support of a known community, they like to drink from time to time accompanied with some suitable dark music.

He is not interested on the serious things in life and has always plans to earn lots of money the easy way without much effort. Of course it would not be a big deal if these things are a little bit illegal. He believes strongly that talent, effort, education, professionalizing etc are not so important and wont help much but the most important thing is to know the right people.

While he is very open minded about relationships with opposite sex, he also keeps his conservative understanding of ethical values that he carried from his background.

He has very strong ties to his relatives. Probably he sends back some money to his family. His mother is worried of his relaxed lifestyle and has plans to tie him down to a local girl expecially now since his military service has already finished.

According his ethical values, there are two kinds of females. One type are the ethical ones and the other type of girls are the unethical ones. With the unethical ones you have fun and with the ethical ones you marry. Of course the girl he will marry must be a virgin, otherwise she is unethical. I guess by now you have understood that all Western girls fall down to the second category.

But these details will be issues in the far future. So there is nothing important to bother for now. Currently our boy is busy entertaining himself and responsibility to a settled down and traditional life will follow anyway so why not have some fun until then. In his future life, there is a high possibility for domestic violence. This will be seen as an unimportant issue from the perspective of his cultural environment.
The local girl will suffer but will get hardly any support from her family. Depending on the place where they were originated the level of pressure will wary from suggesting not to divorce to an extreme of threatening her life if she divorces. These days there are few examples of this but we occasionally see, especially in non-Turkish ethnical backgrounds, that a woman is getting killed by family members because she wanted to divorce. There is no such Turkish tradition but other ethnical minorities in Turkia still try to keep these traditions despite the efforts of our government.

Not too many examples to this but still there are places where women are seen as a possession of men's family. In some conservative little towns women are not supposed to divorce. If the man dies, his wife will be transferred to his biggest brother. So the brother will have two wives. The point is that there is no escape for the female from a violent family.

I'm not suggesting that this will happen in a boy’s family who is a waiter in a touristic town. I'm just telling the extreme and you can have an idea what is likely to happen.

Most native females, especially the educated ones will identify in minutes, a person who is likely to use violence. They will also identify a traditional lifestyle, conservative background, any extreme ethical values and any other details that are suspicious about a male. Things like accent are the key on this.

Foreigners will always come across to the wrong guys.

For our young boy, there will be each and every day small issues that are a problem. It is not possible to live without making the small things a problem in life. There will be always excuses. Always somebody else is responsible for the things that go wrong in his life. After 50 years, when turning back to memory and picking up the best moments of life, there is no surprise to see that there are very few moments to pick.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Son model cep telefonlarına karşı biraz fazlaca ilgili biri. Markalar ve modeller konusunda her türlü gereksiz bilgiye sahip.

Meslektaşlarının büyük çoğunluğu aynı zamanda yakın arkadaşları. Özellikle yabancı hatunlar konusunda deneyimlerini paylaşıyorlar ve fırsat oldukça her zaman belden aşağı konuşmalar oluyor.

Buraya sadece yaz sezonu için geldiler ve buraya yakın bir yerde kalıyorlar. Hayatı paylaşarak yaşıyorlar. Onun için kendine ait değerlerin, kendi tarzının ve özel hayatının olması neredeyse imkansız bir şey. Boş vakitlerini kendi başına keyifle geçirmek diye bir şey söz konusu değil.

Tek başına yaşayabilmesi mümkün değil. Bu durum özellikle yabancı bir kentte bulunuyorsa daha da geçerli. Kendi insanlarını bulmak zorunda. Onun için insanların nereli olduğu çok önemli. Eğer başka biri onunla aynı memleketten geliyorsa bu kendi başına o kişiyle yakın arkadaş olmak ve birkaç saat içinde bütün hayat hikayesini paylaşmak için yeterli bir neden.

Elbette, akrabalardan uzak yaşamak hiç kolay değil (çünkü bağımsız olmak bir yerlerde işittikleri ama ne olduğunu tam olarak bilmedikleri bir şey). İşte bu nedenle, yani akrabalardan ve ait olunan çevrenin desteğinden uzak olmanın yarattığı keder yüzünden, zaman zaman duruma uygun bunalımlı bir müzik eşliğinde içmeyi seviyorlar.

Hayattaki ciddi konulara karşı ilgisi yok ama fazla çaba harcamadan, kestirmeden zengin olmanın yolları konusunda her zaman planları var. Elbette bu yollar birazcık yasadışı olsa bile çok önemli bir mesele değil bu. Yetenek, emek, eğitim ve uzmanlaşmanın çok da önemli olmadığına ama asıl önemli olan şeyin doğru kişileri tanımak olduğuna içtenlikle inanıyor.

Karşı cinsle olan ilişkiler konusunda gayet açık görüşlü olsa da, aynı zamanda geçmişinden gelen ve ahlaki değerlerin tutucu bir yorumu olan bir anlayışı da var.

Akrabalarıyla çok güçlü bağları var. Büyük ihtimalle ailesine bir miktar para gönderiyor. Annesi onun kaygısız yaşam tarzından biraz endişeli ve özellikle şimdi, askerlik de geride kaldığı için, onu çevredeki bir kızla baş göz etmeyi planlıyor.

Onun etik anlayışına göre iki çeşit kız vardır. Bunlardan birincisi ahlaklı olan kızlar ve ikincisi de ahlaksız olanlar. Ahlaksız kızlar eğlenmek için, ahlaklı kızlar ise evlenmek içindir. Elbette evleneceği kız bakire olmak zorunda yoksa ahlaklı biri olmazdı. Sanırım şimdiye kadar anlatılanlardan batılı hatunların ikinci gruba düştüklerini tahmin etmişsinizdir.

Ama bütün bu konular çok ilerideki bir zamanın meseleleri. Yani şimdiden kafa ağrıtmaya gerek yok. Şu an için bizim genç adam kendini eğlendirmekle meşgul. Sorumluluk, zaten düzenli ve geleneksel bir hayata geçildiğinde başlayacak. O zamana kadar biraz gönül eğlendirmenin ne zararı olabilir ki?

Gelecekteki yaşamında aile içi şiddet oldukça yüksek bir ihtimal. Bu onun kültürel çevresi tarafından çok da önemli olmayan bir mesele olarak algılanacak. Yakın çevreden seçtikleri kız ızdırap çekecek ama ailesinden neredeyse hiç destek göremeyecek. Geldikleri yerin neresi olduğuna bağlı olarak kıza yapılan baskı, boşanmamasını tavsiye etmekten başlayıp, en aşırı durumda boşanmaması için hayatını tehdit etmeye kadar gidebilir.

Bugünlerde bunun fazla örneği yok ama yine de ara sıra, özellikle etnik olarak Türk kökenli olmayan çevrelerde bir kadının boşanmak istediği için aile bireyleri tarafından öldürüldüğü görülebilir. Türklere özgü böyle bir töre yok ama diğer etnik gruplar devletin tüm çabalarına rağmen bu töreyi yaşatmaya devam etmeye çalışıyorlar.

Artık çok fazla örneği olmasa da, kadının erkeğin malı gibi görüldüğü yerler hala var. Bazı tutucu, küçük yörelerde kadınların boşanmaması gerektiği düşÃ¼nülüyor. Eğer adam ölürse karısı adamın en büyük erkek kardeşine verilir. Yani erkek kardeşin iki karısı oluyor bu durumda. Burada önemli olan şu ki, kadın için şiddet uygulayan bir aileden kurtuluş şansı yok.

Bütün bunlar turistik bir yörede garson olarak çalışan bir gencin ailesinde olabilir demiyorum. Gerçekte ne olacağı konusunda bir fikir vermek için en aşırı durumlarda olabileceklerden bahsediyorum sadece.

Türk kızlarının büyük çoğunluğu, özellikle eğitimli olanlar, birkaç dakika içinde şiddete eğilimli birisini ayırt edebilirler. Aynı zamanda geleneksel yaşama biçimlerini, tutucu aile yapısını, abartılmış ahlaki değerleri ve bir erkekte şÃ¼pheli gördükleri diğer konuları da hemen fark edebilirler. Özellikle şive gibi konular burada ipucu veriyor.

Yabancıların karşısına ise her zaman yanlış kişiler çıkacaktır.

Bizim genç adam için istisnasız her gün sorun olan küçük konular olacak. Hayatta küçük şeyleri sorun etmeden yaşamak mümkün olmayacak. Bahaneler her zaman var olacak. Kendi hayatında yanlış giden şeylerden dolayı her zaman bir başkası suçlu olacak. Elli yıl sonra, hafızasını kurcalayıp, hayattaki en güzel anları yakalamaya çalışınca çok az sayıda böyle anın var olduğunu görmek şaşırtıcı olmayacak.

10.       hanan
197 posts
 12 Mar 2006 Sun 09:55 am

Quoting erdinc:

He is a little too much interested on top end cell phones. He knows all the unnecessary information about makes and models.

Most of his collogues are very close friends of him. They share their experiences especially about foreign girls and there is always some dirty talking going on now and then.

They have come to this place for the season only and they stay together in a place close by. They share their lives. It is almost impossible for him to exist as an individual and to have his own values, style, private life etc. There is no such thing as enjoying your free time on your own.

He can not survive on his own. This is especially true when living in a foreign town. He must find his own people. For him the place where people are originated is very important. If another guy is from the same town as himself or a neighbor town, this alone is enough to be good friends and to share almost everything about his life after hours.

Of course it is not easy living far away from relatives (since independence is something they have heard about but are not sure what it is exactly). So, because of the sorrow of being far from relatives or the support of a known community, they like to drink from time to time accompanied with some suitable dark music.

He is not interested on the serious things in life and has always plans to earn lots of money the easy way without much effort. Of course it would not be a big deal if these things are a little bit illegal. He believes strongly that talent, effort, education, professionalizing etc are not so important and wont help much but the most important thing is to know the right people.

While he is very open minded about relationships with opposite sex, he also keeps his conservative understanding of ethical values that he carried from his background.

He has very strong ties to his relatives. Probably he sends back some money to his family. His mother is worried of his relaxed lifestyle and has plans to tie him down to a local girl expecially now since his military service has already finished.

According his ethical values, there are two kinds of females. One type are the ethical ones and the other type of girls are the unethical ones. With the unethical ones you have fun and with the ethical ones you marry. Of course the girl he will marry must be a virgin, otherwise she is unethical. I guess by now you have understood that all Western girls fall down to the second category.

But these details will be issues in the far future. So there is nothing important to bother for now. Currently our boy is busy entertaining himself and responsibility to a settled down and traditional life will follow anyway so why not have some fun until then. In his future life, there is a high possibility for domestic violence. This will be seen as an unimportant issue from the perspective of his cultural environment.
The local girl will suffer but will get hardly any support from her family. Depending on the place where they were originated the level of pressure will wary from suggesting not to divorce to an extreme of threatening her life if she divorces. These days there are few examples of this but we occasionally see, especially in non-Turkish ethnical backgrounds, that a woman is getting killed by family members because she wanted to divorce. There is no such Turkish tradition but other ethnical minorities in Turkia still try to keep these traditions despite the efforts of our government.

Not too many examples to this but still there are places where women are seen as a possession of men's family. In some conservative little towns women are not supposed to divorce. If the man dies, his wife will be transferred to his biggest brother. So the brother will have two wives. The point is that there is no escape for the female from a violent family.

I'm not suggesting that this will happen in a boy’s family who is a waiter in a touristic town. I'm just telling the extreme and you can have an idea what is likely to happen.

Most native females, especially the educated ones will identify in minutes, a person who is likely to use violence. They will also identify a traditional lifestyle, conservative background, any extreme ethical values and any other details that are suspicious about a male. Things like accent are the key on this.

Foreigners will always come across to the wrong guys.

For our young boy, there will be each and every day small issues that are a problem. It is not possible to live without making the small things a problem in life. There will be always excuses. Always somebody else is responsible for the things that go wrong in his life. After 50 years, when turning back to memory and picking up the best moments of life, there is no surprise to see that there are very few moments to pick.


i think that is just enough, well done erdinc.

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