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Is a Turkish marrying an American unacceptable?
(23 Messages in 3 pages - View all)
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10.       garie
146 posts
 04 Feb 2009 Wed 09:06 am

Quote:

so am I narrow minded? at least I don`t ask silly questions and I don`t have friends who are deseperate enough to find their future husbands online.

 

not all people that searching there future partner online are desperate, maybe thats the only way to find each other...  coz you nver knew who  is the right one for you...  religion or different culture is not the bases coz  even though, they have diff. beliefs as long as you love each other and you respect one another nothing is imposible... thats  the love means{#lang_emotions_rolleyes}

11.       Uzun_Hava
449 posts
 04 Feb 2009 Wed 09:17 am

 

Quoting rco0106a

She stays up til 4 am to talk to him while hes at work, and apparently they have much in common. But their families do not know about the relationship. She is very happy, and she wishes so bad to move there with him. His family is very modern, and they live in Istanbul. He is all she talks about, and as long as she is happy thats all I care as her best friend. But at the same time I do want to be able to give her adequate advice on what to expect.

 Tamidakikidas (sp?) comment may seem harsh, but not as harsh as the reality your friend will encounter.  We see a lot of stories just like this on the translation forum.  Sometimes, the families are very supportive, but it is still diffucult.  (just go surfing back on the Translation forum for a few pages!)

 

I bet your friend doesn´t speak turkish and if her boyfriend does, his family problably doesn´t.   Frequently, the boyfriend will have to do his military service and she will need to communicate with his family to be in touch with him.  Tell her about the Translation Forum.  Some of us will undoubtably help.

 

12.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 04 Feb 2009 Wed 04:21 pm

To answer your question, it is not unacceptable for an American to marry a Turk.  However, your friend will need to invest a lot of time and energy into getting to know this man that she met online.  I don´t personally have a problem with meeting people online but it is very hard to carry on a trans-Atlantic relationship. 

 

I am an American married to a Turk but we met here in the States.  We stayed in touch over many YEARS and I spend many vacations with him and our mutual friends....sometimes months at a time.  Eventually, we decided to marry (about 15 years after our initial meeting). 

 

I find our cultural differences can be a bit of a challenge but I find because of our individual personalities and our abilities to appreciate those differences and not try to change eachother  our relationship works well for us.  It takes two mature people to enter into this kind of union.  I think that respect and trust must be established before any commitment is made (maybe more so than in "normal" relationships). 

 

Anyway, good luck to your "friend."  This is not a relationship mix for the faint of heart. 

13.       rco0106a
15 posts
 04 Feb 2009 Wed 09:40 pm

 

Quoting Uzun_Hava

 

 Tamidakikidas (sp?) comment may seem harsh, but not as harsh as the reality your friend will encounter.  We see a lot of stories just like this on the translation forum.  Sometimes, the families are very supportive, but it is still diffucult.  (just go surfing back on the Translation forum for a few pages!)

 

I bet your friend doesn´t speak turkish and if her boyfriend does, his family problably doesn´t.   Frequently, the boyfriend will have to do his military service and she will need to communicate with his family to be in touch with him.  Tell her about the Translation Forum.  Some of us will undoubtably help.

 

He is 25, he has already served his military, and she has been studying the turkish language and culture. Like I said before, we are going to visit him to see if the chemistry is still there in person, if not it will make for a fun vacation to Bodrum.

 

 

14.       libralady
5152 posts
 04 Feb 2009 Wed 10:23 pm

At the first signs of asking for money, hint of wanting a visa or a hard luck story that only a mobile phone will cure, take a quick exit!

15.       themarn
15 posts
 04 Feb 2009 Wed 10:52 pm

oh come on, a Turkish man marrying an American is unacceptable??? Please. I´ve seen lots of Turkish girls here in the states that find Turkish  husbands online, so this girl is an American. who cares? 

16.       libralady
5152 posts
 04 Feb 2009 Wed 10:55 pm

 

Quoting themarn

oh come on, a Turkish man marrying an American is unacceptable??? Please. I´ve seen lots of Turkish girls here in the states that find Turkish  husbands online, so this girl is an American. who cares? 

 

 Only one or two as it seems!

17.       themarn
15 posts
 05 Feb 2009 Thu 03:59 am

sorry, I´m confused. about the Turkish girls or the american ones?

 

18.       rco0106a
15 posts
 05 Feb 2009 Thu 09:39 am

 

Quoting libralady

At the first signs of asking for money, hint of wanting a visa or a hard luck story that only a mobile phone will cure, take a quick exit!

 

 It is actually him that offers to send gifts, sending her webpages of different jewelry for her to choose from for valentines day and birthday... is that a sign of sincerity?

19.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 06 Feb 2009 Fri 02:17 pm

 

Quoting tamikidakika

 

 

so am I narrow minded? at least I don`t ask silly questions and I don`t have friends who are deseperate enough to find their future husbands online.

 

 Hehehe great post!

I am glad to see you are "holding the fort" in my absense Tami! lol

20.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 06 Feb 2009 Fri 02:52 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 

 

 Hehehe great post!

I am glad to see you are "holding the fort" in my absense Tami! lol

 

he he..

Is it not a ´BRILLIANT´ post? lol

In your absence, we have started to call him ´TheAenigmaII´ for his dedication for holding the port..

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