I have a friend who is dating a Turkish man she met online, but they have been dating for 6 months. In July she is flying to Istanbul to visit him. I know a bit about Turkey, but she is worried about their customs, and the fact that she is a Christian and he is Muslim. Does anyone have any advice?

yes, a Turk`s marrying an American is unacceptable. I hope this answers your lame question.

Well then please logically explain to me why. I don´t think I would take such advice from such a narrow-minded person.

There are plenty of successful and similar (different countries and religious background) marriage situations with users on this site.

There are also probably many more failed relationships, but couples shouldn´t rush marriage until many aspects are considered.

I personally think that if they find they have enough in common to consider marriage, and their respective families support them, then they are off to a good start.

One of the biggest issues they will eventually face will be where they will live. Who will compromise to move away from their network of friends and relations?

Good luck to your friend, internet relationships are always interesting when they get to the next level of real contact.

so am I narrow minded? at least I don`t ask silly questions and I don`t have friends who are deseperate enough to find their future husbands online.

She stays up til 4 am to talk to him while hes at work, and apparently they have much in common. But their families do not know about the relationship. She is very happy, and she wishes so bad to move there with him. His family is very modern, and they live in Istanbul. He is all she talks about, and as long as she is happy thats all I care as her best friend. But at the same time I do want to be able to give her adequate advice on what to expect.

yes you are if you cannot give a logical answer. and if you are so silly as to argue on a forum

this girl definitely needs a presentation about dudus.

Suggest to your friend that she enrols in a Turkish language course in Istanbul whilst there. They need to be able to communicate well, and she will need to improve her Turkish if she hasn´t a Turkish speaking background.

not all people that searching there future partner online are desperate, maybe thats the only way to find each other...  coz you nver knew who  is the right one for you...  religion or different culture is not the bases coz  even though, they have diff. beliefs as long as you love each other and you respect one another nothing is imposible... thats  the love means

 Tamidakikidas (sp?) comment may seem harsh, but not as harsh as the reality your friend will encounter.  We see a lot of stories just like this on the translation forum.  Sometimes, the families are very supportive, but it is still diffucult.  (just go surfing back on the Translation forum for a few pages!)

I bet your friend doesn´t speak turkish and if her boyfriend does, his family problably doesn´t.   Frequently, the boyfriend will have to do his military service and she will need to communicate with his family to be in touch with him.  Tell her about the Translation Forum.  Some of us will undoubtably help.

To answer your question, it is not unacceptable for an American to marry a Turk.  However, your friend will need to invest a lot of time and energy into getting to know this man that she met online.  I don´t personally have a problem with meeting people online but it is very hard to carry on a trans-Atlantic relationship. 

I am an American married to a Turk but we met here in the States.  We stayed in touch over many YEARS and I spend many vacations with him and our mutual friends....sometimes months at a time.  Eventually, we decided to marry (about 15 years after our initial meeting). 

I find our cultural differences can be a bit of a challenge but I find because of our individual personalities and our abilities to appreciate those differences and not try to change eachother  our relationship works well for us.  It takes two mature people to enter into this kind of union.  I think that respect and trust must be established before any commitment is made (maybe more so than in "normal" relationships). 

Anyway, good luck to your "friend."  This is not a relationship mix for the faint of heart. 

At the first signs of asking for money, hint of wanting a visa or a hard luck story that only a mobile phone will cure, take a quick exit!

oh come on, a Turkish man marrying an American is unacceptable??? Please. I´ve seen lots of Turkish girls here in the states that find Turkish  husbands online, so this girl is an American. who cares? 

 Only one or two as it seems!

sorry, I´m confused. about the Turkish girls or the american ones?

 It is actually him that offers to send gifts, sending her webpages of different jewelry for her to choose from for valentines day and birthday... is that a sign of sincerity?

 Hehehe great post!

I am glad to see you are "holding the fort" in my absense Tami!

he he..

Is it not a ´BRILLIANT´ post?

In your absence, we have started to call him ´TheAenigmaII´ for his dedication for holding the port..

And he only asked for a small fee of 2 snowglobes per week!

 So why isn´t he in the Translation Lounge serving drinks?? 

 yes please. It is Friday evening (nearly) and I´m now way past the coffee stage - get the corkscrew ready!!