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Stereotypical people
(90 Messages in 9 pages - View all)
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1.       jenniecakes
125 posts
 02 Sep 2009 Wed 01:05 am

After a recent visit to Turkey, I have met and fallen for a turkish man.  But I don´t know what is expected of me, whether a relationship with an english girl, is ok?  or bad?   Also, I seem to be getting a lot of stick back home from people who read the magazines about turkish men just wanting english passports.... Help x

2.       Melek74
1506 posts
 02 Sep 2009 Wed 01:30 am

 

Quoting jenniecakes

After a recent visit to Turkey, I have met and fallen for a turkish man.  But I don´t know what is expected of me, whether a relationship with an english girl, is ok?  or bad?   Also, I seem to be getting a lot of stick back home from people who read the magazines about turkish men just wanting english passports.... Help x

 

I would read thru the translation requests, it´ll give you an idea of how those relationship develop and how they (usually) end. In any case good luck to you, maybe yours will be the exception.

3.       Henry
2604 posts
 02 Sep 2009 Wed 02:49 am

I agree with Melek74.

This site is littered with broken relationships which started with a holiday visit to Turkey.

There are certainly some exceptions, but these are definitely in the minority.

Language is a hurdle you can overcome, large age differences tend to be more of a problem, as is big differences in drinking and smoking.

Be very wary if you receive requests for phones, money, laptops etc.

Anyway, good luck with your relationship. if it is a mutual love I´m sure it will work out.

Unfortunately, you can only ever be sure of your side of the relationship.

But this is the same for any relationship, wherever you are! Smile



Edited (9/2/2009) by Henry [wherever error]

4.       toggle
346 posts
 02 Sep 2009 Wed 04:11 pm

I would categorize turkish men in holdiay resorts into two :

 

1- Turkish man working there in the tourism industry (whatever he is doing)

2- Turkish men on holiday

 

I would be much suspicious against the first category.

5.       barba_mama
1629 posts
 02 Sep 2009 Wed 04:19 pm

The moment he starts asking for money, dump him. If he tells you a sad story about how his little sister needs shoes, and asks you to buy these shoes, dump him. Don´t get overwhelmed by the things he says. It´s not about what he says, but about what he does.

Turkish men are very good with worlds...usually Mine is a bit of a ...well, never mind But usually women get overwhelmed by sweet words, I love you´s (after the first week!) and romantic gestures.

In the end, roses don´t matter, words don´t matter, what really matters is what he really does, how he really lives his life.

I´ve been with my Turkish partner for over three years and I have seen couple crash and burn in large numbers. Simply because the girls reacted SOOO differently to these men than they would in their own country. They would never fall for these sweet lines out of the mouth of a ginger English guy

There are a lot of red signals you should watch for. For example, does he work in the tourist industry? And if that is the case, in what kind of business? The boys/men who work in bars/cafe´s and the like often flirt with girls who are with large groups or with their families, to make the whole group come again and again to their establishment. And they keep in contact with these girls so the girls also send their friends over to have a drink there... big business!

If his phone is turned off a lot...red signal.

If he asks for money, or starts talking about money problems when you are not that long together...red signal. Ofcourse, if you are together for a long time it´s normal that you share these kind of problems... I complain about my phonebill to my askim a lot too But I don´t expect him to pay it for me, and it works the other way around too.

If he says I love you on the first day...red signal... that means he says it a lot, and easily, and probably not only to you.

I think you can think of a lot of other red signals yourself too.

 

Good signals...if he is not the don juan type If he takes you to his family after a while, especially his mom. If he is interested in the things that are happening in your life, and if he tells you private stuff about himself that he doesn´t tell others. Also good, if you are very poor and he knows it If you are about the same age is also a good signal. And people say language can be overcome... well, I think that´s a bit strange... I think language is very important! If you don´t understand eachother, then ask yourself why did you get together in the first place?! Than your relationship must be based on something other then personalities or intellectual connection...what is left is sex, money, and visa

6.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 02 Sep 2009 Wed 05:00 pm

Tread carefully dear!  Turkish men are just like any other men.....some are good, some are bad.  Just don´t let your heart get carried away with what your head knows is wrong! Good luck!

7.       solitaire
85 posts
 02 Sep 2009 Wed 05:31 pm

Hi I am married to a Turkish man and he wasnt from the tourist parts and our marriage is very happy.  The only thing wrong is that the system for a visa is a big problem.  As so many ppl are just marrying just for a visa this has made it very hard for my hubby to get one.  We have been turned down twice now and this is our third try.  They keep pointing out stuff like our ages... only 9 years different.  Well we are still together and him and his family are the nicest ppl I could ever wish to meet.  I have never been down towards the tourist places so I cant comment on those guys.

 

The long and short is it can work wonders but takes bloooooody ages to get a visa.

8.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 02 Sep 2009 Wed 05:49 pm

 

Quoting solitaire

 

The long and short is it can work wonders but takes bloooooody ages to get a visa.

 I would have to agree with you there.  It took my husband over one year to get a visa....and he had been here in the US before!  It is such a nightmare!  What is worse is to know that after all the aggrevation, you can still be turned down. Head bang It can be very frustrating.....and even though we have been married for years....have a history, and a family together, they STILL give us a hard time when his visa renewals come up! 

 

9.       solitaire
85 posts
 02 Sep 2009 Wed 05:58 pm

 

Quoting Elisabeth

 

 I would have to agree with you there.  It took my husband over one year to get a visa....and he had been here in the US before!  It is such a nightmare!  What is worse is to know that after all the aggrevation, you can still be turned down. Head bang It can be very frustrating.....and even though we have been married for years....have a history, and a family together, they STILL give us a hard time when his visa renewals come up! 

 

 

 Well for us in the UK after a two year visa he has to take an english test to prove that he can speak understand communicate the english language.... god not even I can understand some ppl some of the time....lol



Edited (9/2/2009) by solitaire [spelling]

10.       ReyhanL
1961 posts
 02 Sep 2009 Wed 06:01 pm

      Look my dear a nice story : once i was travelling from Didim to Ankara by Pamukkale Turizm ( to be read like a comercial ) by buss ( long, long way) . The buss was almost emty, i was in back. On the buss was a young beautiful, blue eyed driver ( there are 3 or 4 on a long route). He stayed in back..started to ask me if i want tea or coffee..he let me smoke there, we talked alot.... He got down on Aydýn because his working time was finished. We changed numbers... When my buss left Aydýn he kept looking after me like a ..cow you are taking to sacrifice... After few days i recieved some sms i couldnt bealive my eyes! ( You can find those kind of words only on our friend Canimarab´s translation requests What the hell! !) Was his wife making me in all ways and sending me back to the place where i was before i got born!

 

 



Edited (9/2/2009) by ReyhanL [i confused Pamukkale with Kamil Koç]

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