Welcome
Login:   Pass:     Register - Forgot Password - Resend Activation

Turkish Class Forums / Turkey

Turkey

Add reply to this discussion
Moderators: libralady, sonunda
Divorce in Turkey
(22 Messages in 3 pages - View all)
1 [2] 3
10.       barba_mama
1629 posts
 21 Jan 2010 Thu 11:18 pm

In some cases it is really suffering... I´ve seen a case with my own eyes, and it made me so thankfull for the choices and options I´ve been given in my life. Being able to take care of myself, and not having to rely on a man to pay the bills.

11.       raindrops
267 posts
 21 Jan 2010 Thu 11:53 pm

 

Quoting barba_mama

I know a girl who wants to get a divorce, since her man decided to live with another woman. However, she lives with her mother-in-law, has a young baby and another young child, she doesn´t have any education, and can´t survive on her own. Her own family won´t "take her back" so she can´t get a divorce, because she would simply end up on the street.

 

I also know of another woman in Turkey who did get a divorce, but she was able to get her own job and take care of her children by herself. A position that not all women have.

 

i m just interested what is family for? (not to blame any nation, culture of country as i guess it takes place in any) to guard rules of society without doubting their necessity and beaing reasonable, logical and applicable in particular case? or to protect its member? as we say: it is hard to understand, just remember it exists.

12.       Queent
183 posts
 21 Jan 2010 Thu 11:59 pm

 

Quoting barba_mama

In some cases it is really suffering... I´ve seen a case with my own eyes, and it made me so thankfull for the choices and options I´ve been given in my life. Being able to take care of myself, and not having to rely on a man to pay the bills.

 

Seeing a case doesn´t mean the whole country is the same, doesn´t mean the culture is saying so, you have seen a case and a different case, and this would give you an idea that the matter isn´t the same everywhere.

 

I mean NO for generalization



Edited (1/22/2010) by Queent [sentence added :)]

13.       barba_mama
1629 posts
 22 Jan 2010 Fri 12:26 pm

 

Quoting Queent

 

 

Seeing a case doesn´t mean the whole country is the same, doesn´t mean the culture is saying so, you have seen a case and a different case, and this would give you an idea that the matter isn´t the same everywhere.

 

I mean NO for generalization

 

 Did I say the whole country? No... first I explained about a girl I know who can´t get a divorce, and then I gave an example of a woman who got a well-working divorce. And the example of suffering that I gave... I started by saying SOME cases. I´m not generalizing, but I´m just saying it does exist. It was very clear to me that the girls who seemed to be stuck in a marriage that they were not happy with, had very unforgiving parents who seemed to care to much about gossip, instead of their daughters. And, the girls were poorly educated, if they had any education at all. These women DO exist. No, not all of Turkey is like this, but it´s not like I´ve seen the only unhappy girls in the whole of Turkey. The odds of that are just to unlikely.

14.       little red 1976
2 posts
 22 Jan 2010 Fri 04:41 pm

In 2003 I travelled to Turkey from the USA to meet up with some friends that were Turkish citizens. While I was in Turkey, I met a young man that was very interested in me. We went out a few times, only to find out he was interested in marrying me immediately. I knew the culture was very different than that in the USA, and decided to talk to the young man for a few months. I was in Turkey for a total of 30 days that visit. 6 months later, after keeping in daily contact with the young man via the internet and webcam, I took a trip back. I discovered (or so I thought I did) that I loved this man very much and we decided to get married. After we went through the hardships and trials of mixing 2 very different cultures together and creating a son within the first 9 months of our new marriage, it was within the first year that we were having trouble and decided to divorce.. in America. Later I learned that this man only used me to gain entrance into the USA and now haunts and terrorizes my life daily!! He is now a legal alien because of our child and does not have to leave the country. Ladies.. please be careful if you are involved with other men such as this. I thought he was pure and genuine, but later (after we were married, after we paid lots of money for his visa/green card, after he used my father as a sponsor in our country) I learned that he has had many girlfriends in Turkey and even put 1 girl in the hospital. This man was violent and has an outrageous temper. I have learned lots about Turkish culture. I loved my visit. I will evenutally go again with my child to meet his Turkish grandparents, but...ladies be fore warned in any country.. LEAVE YOUR HEART AT HOME!!!

15.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 22 Jan 2010 Fri 06:00 pm

Sorry for you Little Red....I have been happily married to a Turkish man for quite a few years now.  So, they aren´t all the same....but unfortunately, some are exactly as you have described.  Hope your son is ok.

16.       alameda
3499 posts
 22 Jan 2010 Fri 08:27 pm

 

Quoting little red 1976

 He is now a legal alien because of our child and does not have to leave the country. Ladies.. please be careful if you are involved with other men such as this. I thought he was pure and genuine, but later (after we were married, after we paid lots of money for his visa/green card, after he used my father as a sponsor in our country) I learned that he has had many girlfriends in Turkey and even put 1 girl in the hospital. This man was violent and has an outrageous temper. I have learned lots about Turkish culture. I loved my visit. I will evenutally go again with my child to meet his Turkish grandparents, but...ladies be fore warned in any country.. LEAVE YOUR HEART AT HOME!!!

 

Little red.....he only has a green card.  If it can be determined he used deception to get it, it does not matter if he has a resident visa or not....he can be deported.  Even if he has citizenship, it´s no guarantee, if deception was used.  If he committed a felony before getting citizenship, he´s out the door. I believe charges of spousal abuse are grounds for deportation. if they are determined to be true. IOW if he is not aquitted. 

17.       teaschip
3870 posts
 22 Jan 2010 Fri 08:31 pm

 

Quoting little red 1976

In 2003 I travelled to Turkey from the USA to meet up with some friends that were Turkish citizens. While I was in Turkey, I met a young man that was very interested in me. We went out a few times, only to find out he was interested in marrying me immediately. I knew the culture was very different than that in the USA, and decided to talk to the young man for a few months. I was in Turkey for a total of 30 days that visit. 6 months later, after keeping in daily contact with the young man via the internet and webcam, I took a trip back. I discovered (or so I thought I did) that I loved this man very much and we decided to get married. After we went through the hardships and trials of mixing 2 very different cultures together and creating a son within the first 9 months of our new marriage, it was within the first year that we were having trouble and decided to divorce.. in America. Later I learned that this man only used me to gain entrance into the USA and now haunts and terrorizes my life daily!! He is now a legal alien because of our child and does not have to leave the country. Ladies.. please be careful if you are involved with other men such as this. I thought he was pure and genuine, but later (after we were married, after we paid lots of money for his visa/green card, after he used my father as a sponsor in our country) I learned that he has had many girlfriends in Turkey and even put 1 girl in the hospital. This man was violent and has an outrageous temper. I have learned lots about Turkish culture. I loved my visit. I will evenutally go again with my child to meet his Turkish grandparents, but...ladies be fore warned in any country.. LEAVE YOUR HEART AT HOME!!!

 

That´s terrible!  He doesn´t live in Ohio does he?{#emotions_dlg.scared}So what do you do...have them investigated before getting married? Go with your brain instead of your heart...don´t be as trusting.  Looking back were there any signs that you were blind to?  So many questions...Hopefully your child´s grandparents are much kinder than the son they raised..

 

18.       ReyhanL
1961 posts
 22 Jan 2010 Fri 08:48 pm

 

 

 Are you Irishclove ?

19.       alameda
3499 posts
 22 Jan 2010 Fri 08:58 pm

 

Quoting teaschip

 

 

That´s terrible!  He doesn´t live in Ohio does he?{#emotions_dlg.scared}So what do you do...have them investigated before getting married? Go with your brain instead of your heart...don´t be as trusting.  Looking back were there any signs that you were blind to?  So many questions...Hopefully your child´s grandparents are much kinder than the son they raised..

 

 

Of course you should investigate anyone you are thinking of getting romantically involved with, and in particular if you are thinking of getting married to them! 

 

It doesn´t hurt to know people who know the other person....and not just for a few months.  Knowing the family also helps.  If there is a problem with abuse (spousal, child, substance) in the family, it does give you some ideas as to what may have been deemed acceptable. Of course, many fight those trends, but it still give you some idea of thetheir background. 

 

If you are getting involved with someone who you know absolutely nothing about, it´s really a very dangerous idea.

20.       teaschip
3870 posts
 22 Jan 2010 Fri 11:08 pm

I have friends who have had background checks done on men they are dating...I have to admit I find it a little disheartening to think that we have come to this.  Isn´t the foundation of a relationship formed on trust?  I guess not anymore....{#emotions_dlg.sad}

(22 Messages in 3 pages - View all)
1 [2] 3
Add reply to this discussion




Turkish Dictionary
Turkish Chat
Open mini chat
New in Forums
Why yer gördüm but yeri geziyorum
HaydiDeer: Thank you very much, makes perfect sense!
Etmeyi vs etmek
HaydiDeer: Thank you very much!
Görülmez vs görünmiyor
HaydiDeer: Thank you very much, very well explained!
Içeri and içeriye
HaydiDeer: Thank you very much for the detailed ...
Present continous tense
HaydiDeer: Got it, thank you!
Hic vs herhangi, degil vs yok
HaydiDeer: Thank you very much!
Rize Artvin Airport Transfer - Rize Tours
rizetours: Dear Guest; In order to make your Black Sea trip more enjoyable, our c...
What does \"kabul ettiğini\" mean?
HaydiDeer: Thank you very much for the detailed ...
Kimse vs biri (anyone)
HaydiDeer: Thank you!
Random Pictures of Turkey
Most liked
Major Vowel Harmony

Turkish lesson by admin
Level: beginner
Introduction

Turkish lesson by admin
Level: beginner