I would like to know whether in Turkey is often practiced divorce. I sorry ,if I repeat this topic.

Although divorce is not very common in Turkey, it does happen. 

all families so happy together ? or some cultural thing?

I think that it ia a taboo subject in Turkey. Women/men fearing the family.Prefer to suffer than to divorce.

See also: http://www.turkishclass.com/forumTitle_32398

Thank you very much.

I am new here

what are the actions of family in case of divorce? why is "family" so scaring thing?

I know a girl who wants to get a divorce, since her man decided to live with another woman. However, she lives with her mother-in-law, has a young baby and another young child, she doesn´t have any education, and can´t survive on her own. Her own family won´t "take her back" so she can´t get a divorce, because she would simply end up on the street.

I also know of another woman in Turkey who did get a divorce, but she was able to get her own job and take care of her children by herself. A position that not all women have.

The word "suffer" isn´t the exact word to be used here, and "fearing" is not the exact word as well. Some reasons of staying under marriage despite being not fine in it:

- Caring about the "family" as an important identity.

- Keeping the small family united for the goodness of the kids, as most parents prefer to devote their own lives for their kids than to follow their own needs.

- Some care about the general image of divorced couples, as divorce would mean in most cases "the failure" in getting united with another person and having a family.

- Considiring some problems not worthy to break the marriage

In some cases it is really suffering... I´ve seen a case with my own eyes, and it made me so thankfull for the choices and options I´ve been given in my life. Being able to take care of myself, and not having to rely on a man to pay the bills.

i m just interested what is family for? (not to blame any nation, culture of country as i guess it takes place in any) to guard rules of society without doubting their necessity and beaing reasonable, logical and applicable in particular case? or to protect its member? as we say: it is hard to understand, just remember it exists.

Seeing a case doesn´t mean the whole country is the same, doesn´t mean the culture is saying so, you have seen a case and a different case, and this would give you an idea that the matter isn´t the same everywhere.

I mean NO for generalization

 Did I say the whole country? No... first I explained about a girl I know who can´t get a divorce, and then I gave an example of a woman who got a well-working divorce. And the example of suffering that I gave... I started by saying SOME cases. I´m not generalizing, but I´m just saying it does exist. It was very clear to me that the girls who seemed to be stuck in a marriage that they were not happy with, had very unforgiving parents who seemed to care to much about gossip, instead of their daughters. And, the girls were poorly educated, if they had any education at all. These women DO exist. No, not all of Turkey is like this, but it´s not like I´ve seen the only unhappy girls in the whole of Turkey. The odds of that are just to unlikely.

In 2003 I travelled to Turkey from the USA to meet up with some friends that were Turkish citizens. While I was in Turkey, I met a young man that was very interested in me. We went out a few times, only to find out he was interested in marrying me immediately. I knew the culture was very different than that in the USA, and decided to talk to the young man for a few months. I was in Turkey for a total of 30 days that visit. 6 months later, after keeping in daily contact with the young man via the internet and webcam, I took a trip back. I discovered (or so I thought I did) that I loved this man very much and we decided to get married. After we went through the hardships and trials of mixing 2 very different cultures together and creating a son within the first 9 months of our new marriage, it was within the first year that we were having trouble and decided to divorce.. in America. Later I learned that this man only used me to gain entrance into the USA and now haunts and terrorizes my life daily!! He is now a legal alien because of our child and does not have to leave the country. Ladies.. please be careful if you are involved with other men such as this. I thought he was pure and genuine, but later (after we were married, after we paid lots of money for his visa/green card, after he used my father as a sponsor in our country) I learned that he has had many girlfriends in Turkey and even put 1 girl in the hospital. This man was violent and has an outrageous temper. I have learned lots about Turkish culture. I loved my visit. I will evenutally go again with my child to meet his Turkish grandparents, but...ladies be fore warned in any country.. LEAVE YOUR HEART AT HOME!!!

Sorry for you Little Red....I have been happily married to a Turkish man for quite a few years now.  So, they aren´t all the same....but unfortunately, some are exactly as you have described.  Hope your son is ok.

Little red.....he only has a green card.  If it can be determined he used deception to get it, it does not matter if he has a resident visa or not....he can be deported.  Even if he has citizenship, it´s no guarantee, if deception was used.  If he committed a felony before getting citizenship, he´s out the door. I believe charges of spousal abuse are grounds for deportation. if they are determined to be true. IOW if he is not aquitted. 

That´s terrible!  He doesn´t live in Ohio does he?So what do you do...have them investigated before getting married? Go with your brain instead of your heart...don´t be as trusting.  Looking back were there any signs that you were blind to?  So many questions...Hopefully your child´s grandparents are much kinder than the son they raised..

 Are you Irishclove ?

Of course you should investigate anyone you are thinking of getting romantically involved with, and in particular if you are thinking of getting married to them! 

It doesn´t hurt to know people who know the other person....and not just for a few months.  Knowing the family also helps.  If there is a problem with abuse (spousal, child, substance) in the family, it does give you some ideas as to what may have been deemed acceptable. Of course, many fight those trends, but it still give you some idea of thetheir background. 

If you are getting involved with someone who you know absolutely nothing about, it´s really a very dangerous idea.

I have friends who have had background checks done on men they are dating...I have to admit I find it a little disheartening to think that we have come to this.  Isn´t the foundation of a relationship formed on trust?  I guess not anymore....

Yes, in hindsight, this idea to marry (a complete stranger) was very foolish. In the beginning, he was a very loving and faithful man. But as time progressed and he found that he could manage his own life in ALABAMA, he made his own friends. He established his own credit. Now, he has worked in the same position for almost 5 years. He is a very hard worker, but not much of a father. Yes, my son´s grandparents and us meet almost everyday online to talk via Yahoo Messenger. We both have webcams and it has enabled us to create a relationship that would have otherwise never have been created. I tried originially to find a way to have this man deported, but the times our child would cry out and want to visit with his father, I couldn´t bring myself to go any further with the investigation. Now, our son is 5 years old and the visits with his father is very occassional. His father wonders why there is no relationship and why his son don´t want to talk on the phone when his dad calls. I have tried many times to explain to his father HOW this has come about... and still his father don´t seem to care. I think in time, the relationship between our son and my ex husband will totally disappear. I never talk bad about my son´s dad in front of his innocent ears, but my son "KNOWS" how his dad is. ALL IN DUE TIME!!! I am waiting.................one day at a time...

 Well, that´s a wonderful thing your son can get to know his grandparents.  I understand not bad mouthing his father to him, you sound like a good parent.  Kids are intuitive and without even explaining to your son...he will form his own opinion of his father without you having said a word.