Living - working in Turkey |
Thread locked by a moderator or admin. |
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Buddhist marry Muslim
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| 110. |
04 May 2007 Fri 03:08 pm |
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İslam as any other religions consist of rules,and those rules are NOT negotiable.
Maybe you could've done it if we were at prophets time,but unfortunately Muhamed SAV and Christ RA have died !
So if we follow the rules all,we would be good Muslims or Christians or what ever !
İf we dont follow,its between us and ALLAH.
But at least be honest and say we know and dont follow,and dont hide behinde 'there is no ayat in Kor'an'
No there is ayat,if you dont know,its your responsibility,if you dont understand its also your responsibility.
As you see,in Kor'an there is ayat said Father,or Uncle should marry the girl,that was for a reason,and it didnt say its forbidden the girl marry herself.
What did people understand ?
That its haram'forbidden' a girl marry herself !
There are teachers of each religion 'İmam ,priests,...'
And there are the Holy books make them explain to you !
And if you dont want to obay ,then say i dont do obay,dont day its not there !
We're not kids,at least carry on responsibilities of what you're doing,or not doing.
We are mature enough to do that...i think !
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| 111. |
04 May 2007 Fri 03:23 pm |
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barâk allâhu fîki Canlı inşallah people will listen to you.
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| 112. |
04 May 2007 Fri 03:30 pm |
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| 113. |
04 May 2007 Fri 03:33 pm |
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Quoting kat007:
My mom is a housewife and I had no respect for her "position" for a long time, I always use to tell her that she should have a career and more ambition. I even said things like I hate cooking and cleaning,...I don't want to do that and I'll get a maid for that. But I am starting to have an appreciation for motherhood despite my not wanting to give up my freedom or to ever be a housewife.
In Islam, when asked who is the most important person in a family... the answer is "mothers" and the prophet said "mother, mother, mother" then "father" so that role is important and that's why the children are so respectful of their parents. |
You know that in İslam housework NOT woman responsibility ?
Woman responsibilities only to manage the house and to rais the kids and take care of them and her husband.
And for all houseworks man should hire a maid or 2 accourding to his wealth and house needs.
And if he couldnt afford,because he's poor or something,then woman does houseworks and he helps her when he comes from work.
And be GRATEFUL to her too.
Because raising the kids and make them good individuals is a very hard work and even not equivalent to the man work but more important too.
Thats why in hadith Rasul said that when a man asked him who is the most one i should care for,Rasul said your mother for 3 times then said your father.
Rasul Muhamed SAV was helping his wife,and sewing his clothes too.
Come to reality how many of Muslims men think and do that now ?!
But at least women should understand when she does a house work,she is doing her husband and her kids a favor,not a duty !
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| 114. |
04 May 2007 Fri 03:56 pm |
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Quoting CANLI:
You know that in İslam housework NOT woman responsibility ?
Woman responsibilities only to manage the house and to rais the kids and take care of them and her husband.
And for all houseworks man should hire a maid or 2 accourding to his wealth and house needs.
And if he couldnt afford,because he's poor or something,then woman does houseworks and he helps her when he comes from work.
And be GRATEFUL to her too.
Because raising the kids and make them good individuals is a very hard work and even not equivalent to the man work but more important too.
Thats why in hadith Rasul said that when a man asked him who is the most one i should care for,Rasul said your mother for 3 times then said your father.
Rasul Muhamed SAV was helping his wife,and sewing his clothes too.
Come to reality how many of Muslims men think and do that now ?!
But at least women should understand when she does a house work,she is doing her husband and her kids a favor,not a duty ! |
WOW!!! I did not know maids were permissable. Thanks CANLI for telling me, I will bring up this point next time (hehe...) You're the greatest!!!! Now that I imagine myself not doing all the cooking, cleaning, and housework I feel more relief that it is an option.
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| 115. |
04 May 2007 Fri 05:59 pm |
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Quoting kat007: Quoting CANLI:
You know that in İslam housework NOT woman responsibility ?
Woman responsibilities only to manage the house and to rais the kids and take care of them and her husband.
And for all houseworks man should hire a maid or 2 accourding to his wealth and house needs.
And if he couldnt afford,because he's poor or something,then woman does houseworks and he helps her when he comes from work.
And be GRATEFUL to her too.
Because raising the kids and make them good individuals is a very hard work and even not equivalent to the man work but more important too.
Thats why in hadith Rasul said that when a man asked him who is the most one i should care for,Rasul said your mother for 3 times then said your father.
Rasul Muhamed SAV was helping his wife,and sewing his clothes too.
Come to reality how many of Muslims men think and do that now ?!
But at least women should understand when she does a house work,she is doing her husband and her kids a favor,not a duty ! |
WOW!!! I did not know maids were permissable. Thanks CANLI for telling me, I will bring up this point next time (hehe...) You're the greatest!!!! Now that I imagine myself not doing all the cooking, cleaning, and housework I feel more relief that it is an option. |
Of course it is permitted to hire a maid,its not like you are buying them,they are not slaves,you are paying them for their works.
And i said that what should be in İslam,but how many men doing this ? hehe
Even men did exactly like all these argument up when İmam here said that,he said housework are not women's duty,and men should help women in housework if they dont afford a maid,they said,he didnt mean that,and there are no ayat in Kur'an about that !
Even as you know....hmmm well maybe you dont know ..lol
Ok we are ordered from ALLAH to obay Kur'an and Rasulallah so saying its in hadith not in Kur'an is nonsense.
But i guess men are men,and if they cant control men by religion,they try to do it by tradition and customs.
But at least even if women doing the houseworks,they should know they are making a favor and must tell the men that too by logic and true events.
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| 116. |
04 May 2007 Fri 06:24 pm |
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So, Canlı, what is the case of the maid's husband to be? Will he, too, be able to hire another maid for their houseworks while some other husbands can do? If not, which is obvious, does the Koran say anything about such inequity between people apart from advicing husbands should in that case help their wives? Or does Islam not care such inequity at all?
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| 117. |
04 May 2007 Fri 07:33 pm |
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Quoting panta rei: So, Canlı, what is the case of the maid's husband to be? Will he, too, be able to hire another maid for their houseworks while some other husbands can do? If not, which is obvious, does the Koran say anything about such inequity between people apart from advicing husbands should in that case help their wives? Or does Islam not care such inequity at all? |
İm sorry,but i dont get your question right,i'll answer as i understood it,if not so pls tell me.
Well,if the maid's husband is capable of hiring a maid,then so be it.
İf he is not,then he should help his wife.
People've got different income levels,and you cannt expect all levels live the same !
And as i said before,if he is not capable,he should help his wife and be grateful for her efforts.
And i didnt say it was written in Kur'an that is husband should hire a maid,i said Rasullah was doing that,and if they dont afford it,he was helping.
But again,can you tell me where it is written in Kur'an that women should do the housework ?!
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| 118. |
04 May 2007 Fri 08:00 pm |
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Quoting femme_fatal: vineyards
1. you went offtopic.
2. you are still that boy at 20, afraid of being "rejected", too proud to get refused. life isnt that easy, there are people who try again and again upon "rejections". and in your case you even didnt try! 
sitting on your bottom and blaming the rest of the world isnt wise. take your bum up and make your dreams come true! |
femme! good catch, great point! 
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| 119. |
04 May 2007 Fri 08:31 pm |
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Quoting kat007:
The second and third reason is hilarious. 
The Western concept of women's freedom and rights, in reality, equates women's rights to their 'right' to three main things:
1. Taking off their clothes or wearing skimpy clothes.
2. Taking on jobs outside of the home
3. Mixing with men.
Sigh, there goes the drinking, clubbing, wearing halter tops or skimpy dresses. And all the guy friends and exes...can't talk to them anymore. As to the 9-5 gig, sigh, geez women will just have to sit on their butts all day, do a little cooking and maybe switch to commodities trading or something from home. Ok, I'm just joking... who knows what the heck I'll do (I don't even know myself) and men say that women can't make up their minds  . |
The difference is that in the western world, a woman can do whatever she wants, can say openly what she thinks and doesn't have to follow anybody, can be free and independent. Yes, there is brainwashing, there is discrimination and rampant sexism, women are highly valued only for their sexuality and not much more, but they can CHOOSE to not be that way and then they will be respected. And NO, the three things you mentioned are NOT the only things women gained in the modern world. I'm sure you wouldn't want to live the life your grandmother lived and there are many things we take for granted now. In a way, the restrictions of islamic world even sound appealing to some people who don't really understand what it's like to be born in those extremely patriarchal, conservative cultures. To them it might feel like an adventure, especially if they weren't very good at establishing boundaries in their own culture. A few examples of other things women gained (on top of mixing with men and wearing skimpy clothes) is - work opportunities, voting rights, the right to choose who they want to marry, the right to go to school, sharing home responsibilities with the husband, more equal justice towards men and women (for example, when a man has an affair, it's ok, but if a woman has an affair, she deserves punishment if not by death in some islamic countries), punishment of men when they are abusive towards women, or even the freedom to divorce.
It seems to me that you really don't see the reality very well and tend to 'romanticize' (as Capoiera rightly noticed) Islam. If you feel so good about becoming a muslim, good for you, but seeing how you are blind and completely uncritical and one-sided in your criticism, scares me.
In islamic world, there's usually not that much choice for women, while men are allowed almost anything they want to do (multiple wifes, prostitution, porn, few or no responsibilities at home, and what the fuck is that piece about beating wife with a pencil-thick piece of wood!!!!!). Of course it varies from family to family and from person to person, but there's a consistent pattern when you look at the big picture.
Please, don't tell me that women don't wear skimpy clothes in islamic countries or that there's no porn or prostitution. I heard MANY, MANY people say that these things are even more rampant in those countries then anywhere else. Those people excuse themselves very effectively for doing such things. The only difference is that they are more hypocritic about it. Just take Turkey as an example and you'll see how much soft porn is openly published in daily newspapers, it's MUCH worse then it is in any western country and add to that all the more hard core porn that's regularly added to magazines and newspapers and readily available everywhere. You can ask about this any honest man or woman or just see it for yourself and you'll be in for a toxic shock. Yes, they condemn scantily clad women, but they all use them all the time, it's VERY hypocritical.
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| 120. |
04 May 2007 Fri 08:45 pm |
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i accidently saw this quote, and i have a question to ask:how can u marry with a turkish but still keeping ur religion?
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