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Being not married and having a child
(62 Messages in 7 pages - View all)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
1.       Trudy
7887 posts
 15 Jul 2007 Sun 09:46 pm

No! It's not what you think, I'm not pregnant. But a Turkish friend told me that when a woman in Turkey is not married and has a child that child is not getting an identity card from the government, as if the child does not excist. This not having an ID means also no health insurance but - to me most important - no right to education, to school. The kid will be uneducated, probably also illiterate.

Is that really true? In 2007?

2.       MrX67
2540 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 01:00 am

thats not true Trudy,and which law system can punnish an innocent baby this way,sure it has all rights as the all others..But pity thats a real to soceity look at this kids with the bad eyes as if they r quilty mostly..

3.       karekin04
565 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 01:08 am

Quoting Trudy:

No! It's not what you think, I'm not pregnant. But a Turkish friend told me that when a woman in Turkey is not married and has a child that child is not getting an identity card from the government, as if the child does not excist. This not having an ID means also no health insurance but - to me most important - no right to education, to school. The kid will be uneducated, probably also illiterate.

Is that really true? In 2007?

Sick!

4.       MrX67
2540 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 01:11 am

they get idenitity card with surname of her/his mother..

5.       MrX67
2540 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 01:13 am

theres a saying about that in Turkish,''gördüğün inan,duyduğuna inanma''(believe what you saw and don't belive what you heard)

6.       karekin04
565 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 01:17 am

Quoting MrX67:

theres a saying about that in Turkish,''gördüğün inan,duyduğuna inanma''(believe what you saw and don't belive what you heard)

but if it was a turkish person who told her this is it maybe that way in some places?

7.       MrX67
2540 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 01:19 am

Quoting karekin04:

Quoting MrX67:

theres a saying about that in Turkish,''gördüğün inan,duyduğuna inanma''(believe what you saw and don't belive what you heard)

but if it was a turkish person who told her this is it maybe that way in some places?

i think just an information error karekin..

8.       aenigma x
0 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 01:21 am

Quoting MrX67:

Quoting karekin04:

Quoting MrX67:

theres a saying about that in Turkish,''gördüğün inan,duyduğuna inanma''(believe what you saw and don't belive what you heard)

but if it was a turkish person who told her this is it maybe that way in some places?

i think just an information error karekin..



Hmmm ama...I would imagine, Mr. X67, in a culture where virginity and parentage are of paramount importance, it is a disgrace to have a child if you are not married...no?

9.       karekin04
565 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 01:22 am

Quote:

i think just an information error karekin..

i hope so, that would be very sad but on the topic maybe you can answere a question thats kindoff on that topic. If a woman there does have a child when she is not married (with her boyfriend or whatever) do the men take responsibility? Maybe even help out financially?

10.       MrX67
2540 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 01:27 am

Quoting aenigma x:

Quoting MrX67:

Quoting karekin04:

Quoting MrX67:

theres a saying about that in Turkish,''gördüğün inan,duyduğuna inanma''(believe what you saw and don't belive what you heard)

but if it was a turkish person who told her this is it maybe that way in some places?

i think just an information error karekin..



Hmmm ama...I would imagine, Mr. X67, in a culture where virginity and parentage are of paramount importance, it is a disgrace to have a child if you are not married...no?

well as i said to be a kid without a dad or to be a singel mum may be one of the hardest social stitation in Turkish people still,especially at the rural areas aenigma,may be thats a wrong choice for the mum,but who can blame an innocent baby or kid about the mistake or choice of parents??

11.       MrX67
2540 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 01:34 am

Quote:

Quoting karekin04:

i think just an information error karekin..

i hope so, that would be very sad but on the topic maybe you can answere a question thats kindoff on that topic. If a woman there does have a child when she is not married (with her boyfriend or whatever) do the men take responsibility? Maybe even help out financially?

well,the mum has all rights to prove his all responsibilites on courts,Turkey is a democratical-law country Karekin,so everybody in safe with the rules..so all rights in safe with the civil law rules,but can't say same for the social rules with the effect of traditions sometime.

12.       aslı
342 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 02:14 am

Socity and laws are different things. Society may think it is a shame having a child without marriage. But laws (which are same all around Turkey) protects the innocent baby's rights and treats him/her equal. Has identity (if proven medically) with father2s name and family name. If mum does not want to say who the father is, simply gives the baby her family name, takes the ID.

13.       aenigma x
0 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 12:49 pm

Quoting MrX67:

well as i said to be a kid without a dad or to be a singel mum may be one of the hardest social stitation in Turkish people still,especially at the rural areas aenigma,may be thats a wrong choice for the mum...



You can't just blame the mum MrX67! What about the absent dad eh? Doesn't he get any blame?

14.       MrX67
2540 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 01:28 pm

Quoting aenigma x:

Quoting MrX67:

well as i said to be a kid without a dad or to be a singel mum may be one of the hardest social stitation in Turkish people still,especially at the rural areas aenigma,may be thats a wrong choice for the mum...



You can't just blame the mum MrX67! What about the absent dad eh? Doesn't he get any blame?

sure the biggest fault on dad ,and so why passed that for its clear and known by everyoneand really big shame or lack of self respect for a man,to leave her with a baby..

15.       karekin04
565 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 06:22 pm

but MrX... you still are saying things like "you can't blame the child for a parents mistake"???? My question is.... why is it a mistake? If these people are in love and have spent time together and happen to get pregnant its a mistake??? It's looked down on??? So it's ok then women have to have abortions to save face, because I know that happens there. What a sad society having to always hide the reality that its not the early 20th century. Again I say... love and reproducing was around long before the concept of a "legal marriage".

16.       aenigma x
0 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 06:33 pm

I am afraid I have to disagree with you, for once Karekin!!! I think there is no excuse for "accidents" these days - its just selfishness and lack of responsibility that causes them (with only a very few exceptions).

Its one thing to be in love for a while and spend time together, but quite another to bring a human being into this world. It should be planned and both parents should think very hard about it. A baby not some kind of "seal" to a relationship, it's at lifetime commitment.

Just my opinion.....

17.       MrX67
2540 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 06:34 pm

Quoting karekin04:

but MrX... you still are saying things like "you can't blame the child for a parents mistake"???? My question is.... why is it a mistake? If these people are in love and have spent time together and happen to get pregnant its a mistake??? It's looked down on??? So it's ok then women have to have abortions to save face, because I know that happens there. What a sad society having to always hide the reality that its not the early 20th century. Again I say... love and reproducing was around long before the concept of a "legal marriage".

well,i don't blame personal choises,but if it gives trouble for the kids then isn't not a mistake??and how come a kid can get enough love without dad or mum??

18.       geniuda
1070 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 06:41 pm

Quote:

sure the biggest fault on dad ,and so why passed that for its clear and known by everyoneand really big shame or lack of self respect for a man,to leave her with a baby..



19.       aenigma x
0 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 06:46 pm

Quote:

Quoting geniuda:

sure the biggest fault on dad ,and so why passed that for its clear and known by everyoneand really big shame or lack of self respect for a man,to leave her with a baby..





Shame on BOTH of them for NOT using contraception!

20.       MrX67
2540 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 06:48 pm

Quote:

Quoting aenigma x:

Quoting geniuda:

sure the biggest fault on dad ,and so why passed that for its clear and known by everyoneand really big shame or lack of self respect for a man,to leave her with a baby..





Shame on BOTH of them for NOT using contraception!

thats weird to be funny on this important topic,well fu nis really nice but on true time and in true way

21.       aenigma x
0 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 06:52 pm

Quote:

Quoting MrX67:

Quoting aenigma x:

Quoting geniuda:

sure the biggest fault on dad ,and so why passed that for its clear and known by everyoneand really big shame or lack of self respect for a man,to leave her with a baby..





Shame on BOTH of them for NOT using contraception!

thats weird to be funny on this important topic,well fu nis really nice but on true time and in true way



It was not intended to be a joke. I was following on from my post above. Why would you think it's funny? Sorry, but having a baby is a lifetime commitment, not some kind of joke. If you are old enough to have sex, you are old enough to make sure you PLAN a baby and don't let "accidents" happen.

22.       MrX67
2540 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 06:59 pm

i think noone of us can't guess feelings of this kind kids,so really very important topic even more then conraception ....to make a baby very easy if you don't have any phsical problem but to creat a strong personality only posible a great harmony of dad&mum,hope its enough reason to be more serious..?

23.       aenigma x
0 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 07:00 pm

Quoting MrX67:

i think noone of us can't guess feelings of this kind kids,so really very important topic even more then conraception ....



How can it be MORE important? If people were more responsible, we would not have to worry about the feelings of these chlidren. It's pretty basic stuff.

24.       karekin04
565 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 07:01 pm

Quoting aenigma x:

I am afraid I have to disagree with you, for once Karekin!!! I think there is no excuse for "accidents" these days - its just selfishness and lack of responsibility that causes them (with only a very few exceptions).

Its one thing to be in love for a while and spend time together, but quite another to bring a human being into this world. It should be planned and both parents should think very hard about it. A baby not some kind of "seal" to a relationship, it's at lifetime commitment.

Just my opinion.....

I understand what your saying, my point is.... why do you "have" to be married to be good parents and looked at as a decent human being in there society. I believe you are picturing in your head young teenage love and the whole getting "knocked up" scenerio, but I'm not, of course I believe that is wrong, but I believe that an adult should be able to decide weather or not marriage is right. I myself being a single mother can assure you that me and my son are better of not having both parents around as he turned out to be a terrible human being, but it does not mean my son is doomed because his father is an ass does it? I feel I am good enough to compensate for his lack.

p.s. how dare you disagree with me, see if I joing your gang!

25.       aenigma x
0 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 07:05 pm

Karekin!I think you are mistaking what I am saying - clearly, from what you say, your children were planned (it makes no difference if you are married or not, as long as both parents want to bring a human being into this world).

I feel very strongly about all these unplanned pregnancies as I used to work in this area and was sick of hearing about "my boyfriend didn't like using them" or "I can never remember to take pills" coming from parents who were so inept at caring for their children that they were on child-protection registers.

It makes my blood boil!!!!!

PS I dare!

26.       karekin04
565 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 07:05 pm

Quote:

and how come a kid can get enough love without dad or mum??

again i will repeat, a 2 parent home does not always equal a "good home" or a loving home, or even a stable home. SOmetimes a child is better off without one of those people. Children grow up in homes where either the father or mother has died, but it doesn't mean they will turn out screwed up does it? :-S

27.       MrX67
2540 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 07:10 pm

to have a kid,i think the one of most important decide in life which have to think about it thousands of time again and aagain be4 done,for creat a more peacfull,happily and loving generations...

28.       MrX67
2540 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 07:13 pm

Quote:

Quoting karekin04:

and how come a kid can get enough love without dad or mum??

again i will repeat, a 2 parent home does not always equal a "good home" or a loving home, or even a stable home. SOmetimes a child is better off without one of those people. Children grow up in homes where either the father or mother has died, but it doesn't mean they will turn out screwed up does it? :-S

sure planty of exceptions about that,and sure planty kids growing in unhappy families,but i think thats not enough reason for let a kid fatherless or motherless..

29.       MrX67
2540 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 07:14 pm

i believe that happy societies based on happy families only with exceptions even.

30.       karekin04
565 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 07:15 pm

Quoting aenigma x:

Karekin!I think you are mistaking what I am saying - clearly, from what you say, your children were planned (it makes no difference if you are married or not, as long as both parents want to bring a human being into this world).

I feel very strongly about all these unplanned pregnancies as I used to work in this area and was sick of hearing about "my boyfriend didn't like using them" or "I can never remember to take pills" coming from parents who were so inept at caring for their children that they were on child-protection registers.

It makes my blood boil!!!!!

PS I dare!

I knew thats what you were referring to, I guess I was picturing my situation rather then these women who just don't want to use birth control. I do agree, and think its rediculous.

My story is to bizarre to even share but it really doesn't fit in any scenerio

31.       karekin04
565 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 07:16 pm

Quote:

Quoting MrX67:

Quoting karekin04:

and how come a kid can get enough love without dad or mum??

again i will repeat, a 2 parent home does not always equal a "good home" or a loving home, or even a stable home. SOmetimes a child is better off without one of those people. Children grow up in homes where either the father or mother has died, but it doesn't mean they will turn out screwed up does it? :-S

sure planty of exceptions about that,and sure planty kids growing in unhappy families,but i think thats not enough reason for let a kid fatherless or motherless..

i guess that depends who the father or mother is, don't you think?

32.       MrX67
2540 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 07:18 pm

Quote:

Quoting karekin04:

Quoting MrX67:

Quoting karekin04:

and how come a kid can get enough love without dad or mum??

again i will repeat, a 2 parent home does not always equal a "good home" or a loving home, or even a stable home. SOmetimes a child is better off without one of those people. Children grow up in homes where either the father or mother has died, but it doesn't mean they will turn out screwed up does it? :-S

sure planty of exceptions about that,and sure planty kids growing in unhappy families,but i think thats not enough reason for let a kid fatherless or motherless..

i guess that depends who the father or mother is, don't you think?

sure we talking about ideals,not for bad samples karekin..

33.       geniuda
1070 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 07:26 pm

Quote:

Quote:

Quoting aenigma x:



Shame on BOTH of them for NOT using contraception!

thats weird to be funny on this important topic,well fu nis really nice but on true time and in true way



It was not intended to be a joke. I was following on from my post above. Why would you think it's funny? Sorry, but having a baby is a lifetime commitment, not some kind of joke. If you are old enough to have sex, you are old enough to make sure you PLAN a baby and don't let 'accidents' happen.


As a single mother (never married) I can say that my child has been the most beautiful blessing I've ever received, I will never regret. I was in love, but surely taking my own responsibility by using contraceptives, I wasn’t planning this but yes, accidents happen. But, I will never consider this an 'accident' or a mistake because even if the dad is not with us, my child has received as much love from 'mum' and family as if the father would be here. Yes, It’s sometimes difficult because the mother has to fight sometimes triple for the child’s well being and I know it is never the same as having both parents together. But as time passed by I realized that it was better this way, why force someone to stay, then get marry and keep a “miserable marriage” which in the long run will not only affect both parties but also the child? Because it was obvious that if the father ran away his love was not truthful. I mean, all situations are different, it all depends on the circumstances, but this is only one example (mine). But yes,I agree with the fact that it is very important to take responsabilites from both sides and plan it

34.       femme_fatal
0 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 10:01 pm

Quoting aenigma x:

I am afraid I have to disagree with you, for once Karekin!!! I think there is no excuse for "accidents" these days - its just selfishness and lack of responsibility that causes them (with only a very few exceptions).

Its one thing to be in love for a while and spend time together, but quite another to bring a human being into this world. It should be planned and both parents should think very hard about it. A baby not some kind of "seal" to a relationship, it's at lifetime commitment.

Just my opinion.....


fully agree!
you cant just go around and fall in love with the person you met and think HE/SHE is my love and then go have sex.

35.       teaschip
3870 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 10:09 pm

Quoting femme_fatal:

Quoting aenigma x:

I am afraid I have to disagree with you, for once Karekin!!! I think there is no excuse for "accidents" these days - its just selfishness and lack of responsibility that causes them (with only a very few exceptions).

Its one thing to be in love for a while and spend time together, but quite another to bring a human being into this world. It should be planned and both parents should think very hard about it. A baby not some kind of "seal" to a relationship, it's at lifetime commitment.

Just my opinion.....


fully agree!
you cant just go around and fall in love with the person you met and think HE/SHE is my love and then go have sex.



Sure, you can. That's why we have the welfare system.

36.       femme_fatal
0 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 10:10 pm

what engima says, would of course be ideal.
but?
parents must raise children teaching them about sexuality.

37.       karekin04
565 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 10:10 pm

Quoting femme_fatal:

Quoting aenigma x:

I am afraid I have to disagree with you, for once Karekin!!! I think there is no excuse for "accidents" these days - its just selfishness and lack of responsibility that causes them (with only a very few exceptions).

Its one thing to be in love for a while and spend time together, but quite another to bring a human being into this world. It should be planned and both parents should think very hard about it. A baby not some kind of "seal" to a relationship, it's at lifetime commitment.

Just my opinion.....


fully agree!
you cant just go around and fall in love with the person you met and think HE/SHE is my love and then go have sex.

either I'm failing to make my point clear, or your failing to understand my point. I'm not at all condoning running around having sex and getting knocked up. My point is marriage is NOT a necessity in a successful childs upbringing is all! I meant nothing about western people to begin with, I was talking about what happens in turkey. I'm sure that if its such an embarresment to have sex it must pretty pretty hard to go get birth control as well, so I imagine there might be the occasional "accident" there and was wondering how THEY handle such situations. Am I a bit more clear?

38.       teaschip
3870 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 10:16 pm

I agree marriage is not the right answer for every situation. If you become pregnant, I don't believe you should automatically marry the guy. This could complicate things even more, if your just getting married for the sake of it. "Well I thought it was the right thing to do" usually means "divorce".

39.       libralady
5152 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 10:27 pm

Quoting femme_fatal:

what engima says, would of course be ideal.
but?
parents must raise children teaching them about sexuality.



And of course all children take notice of their parents and also those parents themselves have to be role models along with the society they grown up in.

And that means, everywhere you look, TV, advertisements, newspaper, magazines, films, games (computer sort), internet, shop windows, shops themselves........................... and of course some governments (particularly ours) make it easy to be promiscuous, handouts, housing, free this, free that.

Everyone has a responsiblity for their own society and how children grow up.

40.       femme_fatal
0 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 11:11 pm

Quoting libralady:

Quoting femme_fatal:

what engima says, would of course be ideal.
but?
parents must raise children teaching them about sexuality.



And of course all children take notice of their parents and also those parents themselves have to be role models along with the society they grown up in.

And that means, everywhere you look, TV, advertisements, newspaper, magazines, films, games (computer sort), internet, shop windows, shops themselves........................... and of course some governments (particularly ours) make it easy to be promiscuous, handouts, housing, free this, free that.

Everyone has a responsiblity for their own society and how children grow up.


but parents are the most responsible ones.
there are parents in those societies who raise their children properly in so called sodom and gomorrah.
the thing is that it is parents themselves buy them agresive games or dont control children's PC, dont know what type of books or magazines they may have. maybe in general they absolutely have no contact with children? maybe they are too busy or selfish to communicate?

41.       libralady
5152 posts
 16 Jul 2007 Mon 11:49 pm

Quoting femme_fatal:

Quoting libralady:

Quoting femme_fatal:

what engima says, would of course be ideal.
but?
parents must raise children teaching them about sexuality.



And of course all children take notice of their parents and also those parents themselves have to be role models along with the society they grown up in.

And that means, everywhere you look, TV, advertisements, newspaper, magazines, films, games (computer sort), internet, shop windows, shops themselves........................... and of course some governments (particularly ours) make it easy to be promiscuous, handouts, housing, free this, free that.

Everyone has a responsiblity for their own society and how children grow up.


but parents are the most responsible ones.
there are parents in those societies who raise their children properly in so called sodom and gomorrah.
the thing is that it is parents themselves buy them agresive games or dont control children's PC, dont know what type of books or magazines they may have. maybe in general they absolutely have no contact with children? maybe they are too busy or selfish to communicate?



And being a responsible parent yourself you would know how easy it is to keep your children from the sort of rubbish displayed daily - once your children are at school you only have control over what is in the home. You have no control over pier pressure, or what is taught and how it is taught.

I agree, first and foremost children are the responsibility of the parent but as a parent there are many hurdles and outside pressures to overcome.

Social exposure is everywhere and you dont really have control over that, all you can do it hopefully train your children in the rights and wrongs and hope it all sinks in. But children have a lovely habit of doing the absolute opposite to what there parents say or do.

Take a family of two chilren both brought up the same by very responsible parents. One does well at school, does nothing wrong; the other, gets into trouble at school, with police, drugs, and ends up in prison - now explain that?

42.       uzeyir
268 posts
 17 Jul 2007 Tue 12:18 am

But most of the people in the east don't have ID cards,MrX67.
Well,my mom watches woman reality programmes

43.       MrX67
2540 posts
 17 Jul 2007 Tue 12:20 am

Quoting uzeyir:

But most of people in the east don't have ID cards,MrX67.
Well,my mom watches woman reality programmes

nothing barrier to get İD card in the law rules Üzeyir kardeşim,but pity thats another problem of some areas of Turkey aswell on many thingsand thats a shame of media bosses i think,this sort programs using the problems just for their rating worries,never for fix to problems..

44.       uzeyir
268 posts
 17 Jul 2007 Tue 12:26 am

Quoting MrX67:

Quoting uzeyir:

But most of people in the east don't have ID cards,MrX67.
Well,my mom watches woman reality programmes

nothing barrier to get İD card in the law rules Üzeyir kardeşim,but pity thats another problem of some areas of Turkey aswell on many thingsand thats a shame of media bosses i think,this sort programs using the problems just for their rating worries,never for fix to problems..



Then why does Serap Ezgü call women's husbands?She says "come here and let your child have an id card"

45.       MrX67
2540 posts
 17 Jul 2007 Tue 12:32 am

Quoting uzeyir:

Quoting MrX67:

Quoting uzeyir:

But most of people in the east don't have ID cards,MrX67.
Well,my mom watches woman reality programmes

nothing barrier to get İD card in the law rules Üzeyir kardeşim,but pity thats another problem of some areas of Turkey aswell on many thingsand thats a shame of media bosses i think,this sort programs using the problems just for their rating worries,never for fix to problems..



Then why does Serap Ezgü call women's husbands?She says "come here and let your child have an id card"

,how come she can get her money if she doesn't use those poor women as a toy,do you think she really in a real worry about those women???

46.       uzeyir
268 posts
 17 Jul 2007 Tue 12:36 am

Quoting MrX67:

Quoting uzeyir:

Quoting MrX67:

Quoting uzeyir:

But most of people in the east don't have ID cards,MrX67.
Well,my mom watches woman reality programmes

nothing barrier to get İD card in the law rules Üzeyir kardeşim,but pity thats another problem of some areas of Turkey aswell on many thingsand thats a shame of media bosses i think,this sort programs using the problems just for their rating worries,never for fix to problems..



Then why does Serap Ezgü call women's husbands?She says "come here and let your child have an id card"

,how come she can get her money if she doesn't use those poor women as a toy,do you think she really in a real worry about those women???



It seems a nice job,but to change my mother's mind is still difficult

47.       MrX67
2540 posts
 17 Jul 2007 Tue 12:40 am

Quoting uzeyir:

Quoting MrX67:

Quoting uzeyir:

Quoting MrX67:

Quoting uzeyir:

But most of people in the east don't have ID cards,MrX67.
Well,my mom watches woman reality programmes

nothing barrier to get İD card in the law rules Üzeyir kardeşim,but pity thats another problem of some areas of Turkey aswell on many thingsand thats a shame of media bosses i think,this sort programs using the problems just for their rating worries,never for fix to problems..



Then why does Serap Ezgü call women's husbands?She says "come here and let your child have an id card"

,how come she can get her money if she doesn't use those poor women as a toy,do you think she really in a real worry about those women???



It seems a nice job,but to change my mother's mind is still difficult

media bosses knows well how to play with honest feelings of people,so ur mum 1000 times more honest then Serap Ezgü,so no worries about her and proud with her kardeşim

48.       femme_fatal
0 posts
 17 Jul 2007 Tue 12:43 am

libra
as a parent you do all your best,
but for goodness sake you are not your child.
if your child chooses wrong things, then... nothing you can do, it must be his/her nature.
you cannot ban everything around you! you cant turn all evil into flowers for the comfort of your child. the world is tough, they will face the evil things soon or later.

but i should admit i do agree with you: there is too much of evil going in mass-media (in public), it simply became sodom and gomorrah.

49.       MrX67
2540 posts
 17 Jul 2007 Tue 12:49 am

humanity choking in hedonism hell day by day,so immediately have to found social recipes for save next generations..

50.       libralady
5152 posts
 17 Jul 2007 Tue 10:39 am

Quoting femme_fatal:

libra
as a parent you do all your best,
but for goodness sake you are not your child.
if your child chooses wrong things, then... nothing you can do, it must be his/her nature.
you cannot ban everything around you! you cant turn all evil into flowers for the comfort of your child. the world is tough, they will face the evil things soon or later.

but i should admit i do agree with you: there is too much of evil going in mass-media (in public), it simply became sodom and gomorrah.



Oh so you agree with me then!! lol

Maybe I am old, and may I look stupid (gomorrah what is it? :-S ) but I have successfully brought up two sons! The reference above was me and my brother and we were brought up in the 60's, by ultra strict parents when social life was very different to now!

51.       femme_fatal
0 posts
 17 Jul 2007 Tue 08:26 pm

Quoting libralady:


Oh so you agree with me then!! lol

Maybe I am old, and may I look stupid (gomorrah what is it? :-S ) but I have successfully brought up two sons! The reference above was me and my brother and we were brought up in the 60's, by ultra strict parents when social life was very different to now!


'sodom and gomorrah!' - they say (some shout) seeing a chaos. search in wikipedia.
how can you be sure of bringing up children succesfully?
cant you be modest? cant you say: "i strictly brought up children and i do hope they are good people?"

52.       libralady
5152 posts
 18 Jul 2007 Wed 11:47 pm

Quoting femme_fatal:

Quoting libralady:


Oh so you agree with me then!! lol

Maybe I am old, and may I look stupid (gomorrah what is it? :-S ) but I have successfully brought up two sons! The reference above was me and my brother and we were brought up in the 60's, by ultra strict parents when social life was very different to now!


'sodom and gomorrah!' - they say (some shout) seeing a chaos. search in wikipedia.
how can you be sure of bringing up children succesfully?
cant you be modest? cant you say: "i strictly brought up children and i do hope they are good people?"



At 27 and 29 they have never been in trouble with the police, don't take drugs, both went to university and got degrees and are both successful in their jobs. And I was not strict, my parents were.

53.       libralady
5152 posts
 18 Jul 2007 Wed 11:56 pm

Quoting femme_fatal:



'sodom and gomorrah!'



I have never had reason to read the bible, and I am an agnostic so therefore I have not encountered these words before. Now I know!

54.       aenigma x
0 posts
 19 Jul 2007 Thu 12:00 am

Quoting libralady:

Quoting femme_fatal:



'sodom and gomorrah!'



I have never had reason to read the bible, and I am an agnostic so therefore I have not encountered these words before. Now I know!



Haven't you ever heard of General Knowledge though? I never had reason to read Harry Potter, but I know its about a wizzard kid lol

55.       femme_fatal
0 posts
 19 Jul 2007 Thu 12:06 am

Quoting libralady:

Quoting femme_fatal:



'sodom and gomorrah!'



I have never had reason to read the bible, and I am an agnostic so therefore I have not encountered these words before. Now I know!


so havent searched in wikipedia? you lazylady!

56.       MrX67
2540 posts
 19 Jul 2007 Thu 12:08 am

to be parent,migh the most holy but hard mission of life,so have to think thousands times be4 get this great mission,things goin so worse day by day,noone of us don't have any right to give more trouble to society with our a few minutes enjoy.....

57.       libralady
5152 posts
 19 Jul 2007 Thu 01:34 pm

Quoting aenigma x:

Quoting libralady:

Quoting femme_fatal:



'sodom and gomorrah!'



I have never had reason to read the bible, and I am an agnostic so therefore I have not encountered these words before. Now I know!



Haven't you ever heard of General Knowledge though? I never had reason to read Harry Potter, but I know its about a wizzard kid lol



General knowledge to me is all about what you are interested in and I am not interested in that particular subject. Therefore it does not automatically store in my brain. And I wait for the sarcastic response about age etc etc

58.       libralady
5152 posts
 19 Jul 2007 Thu 01:37 pm

Quoting femme_fatal:

Quoting libralady:

Quoting femme_fatal:



'sodom and gomorrah!'



I have never had reason to read the bible, and I am an agnostic so therefore I have not encountered these words before. Now I know!


so havent searched in wikipedia? you lazylady!



No I am too busy polishing my ivory tower

btw, it must have been tucked away somewhere in my pea size brain, as how would I know those words come from the Bible?

59.       libralady
5152 posts
 19 Jul 2007 Thu 01:38 pm

Quoting MrX67:

to be parent,migh the most holy but hard mission of life,so have to think thousands times be4 get this great mission,things goin so worse day by day,noone of us don't have any right to give more trouble to society with our a few minutes enjoy.....



Just a few minutes? lol

60.       aenigma x
0 posts
 19 Jul 2007 Thu 02:35 pm

Quoting libralady:

General knowledge to me is all about what you are interested in and I am not interested in that particular subject. Therefore it does not automatically store in my brain. And I wait for the sarcastic response about age etc etc



No sarcasm - just shock. General knowledge is only what you are interested in? Hell! That must make for a very narrow-minded view on life....

61.       libralady
5152 posts
 19 Jul 2007 Thu 03:19 pm

Quoting aenigma x:

Quoting libralady:

General knowledge to me is all about what you are interested in and I am not interested in that particular subject. Therefore it does not automatically store in my brain. And I wait for the sarcastic response about age etc etc



No sarcasm - just shock. General knowledge is only what you are interested in? Hell! That must make for a very narrow-minded view on life....



Oh well, so be it! Only I know how far my interests go...........and I dont have time to write all about them here

62.       Love of Turkey
0 posts
 19 Jul 2007 Thu 06:03 pm

It is easy thing to have a baby..but it is the most important thing has to be look after him/her well..so if you think to give him/her a good life,good education without father! why not?but I dont think so..father is father everytime...

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