Hello group,
I have been away for time but wanted to know more about Turkish women life in general, my brother has Turkish girl and they get on very well, I am very like her and she has met me and my parents. Have the good day greetings from Russia

Every woman is different , I don't think it's good idea to base your ideas of her on what others are saying in here.. Just talk to her, and ask her about her life and all! It must be quite interesting .

But how come then that we have so many opinions about what 'turkish men's life' are like? Would be a weird question too... But we're doing it anyway

Haha, or maybe coz we're girls asking about boys, and not a girl asking about another girl :lol:

Look you can scream "generalising" all you like, but the FACT IS that Turkish tourism workers do not have this reputation for NOTHING!

Nobody is saying that all Turkish men are like this - if you know about the background and conditions of the tourist workers then you can better understand their motives (but not excuse them).

Of course these form only a minority of Turkish men - nobody suggests otherwise. Unfortunately, it is a subject that regularly crops up here because we have a high percentage of female members here that join this site because of tourist workers they met on holiday. It is IMPOSSIBLE to read their translations and not notice a "pattern" or not realise they are being cheated and conned.

You cant compare the two Chantal. If the question was "what life to Turkish men have" I would say the same thing - its impossible, because everyone is different and has different lives. But...Tourist Workers are a different "kettle of fish"

Haha, let's not get into this in another thread as well! I've had enough of all the generalisations...

As to russianlady:

please ask the girl herself! look what happens here

hihi I know, but before we get into that .

sorry

ROAPML!

To generalize a bit:

What I heard from Turkish men is, that Turkish girls are very demanding, rather arrogant, not easily satisfied (they want the most expensive gifts ), they are moody, bossy and not friendly

- The girls I have met were all modest, intelligent, honest, friendly and helpful.

You pick

I find Turkish women to be friendly,extremely kind, hospitable and welcoming. I think it obviously depends however on which women you have met and from which part of society or background they are coming from plus age plays a big part in it.I am sure there are very nice turkish women just as well as some not so nice ones.Like that everywhere you go.However i generally i have don't have a bad word to say about the wonderful women i have met and i would hope they could say the same about me.

Regarding what you said about Italy and Spain, I've never been to Italy but I live in Spain since last year, the moodyness has nothing to do with the man doing all the chasing, in my country (Venezuela)men are expected to do all the chasing, much more so than in Spain, yet a Venezuelan girl who displayed the usual "charm" of most Spanish girls, let alone those from Madrid won't be popular with guys.
As for Turkish girls and women, the few I've met are all quite humble and friendly, definitely better company than Spanish ones, Venezuelan girls may be too fashion-and-looks oriented sometimes, but they're also much kinder and friendlier than Spanish women

You didn't get me right, what I meant by "charm" was sarcasm, since I don't think Spanish women, especially those from Madrid are charming at all, I meant to say that in Venezuela a girl who constantly swore and complained about everything in a very despondent tone like happens frequently with Spanish women won't be too appreciated by guys, especially those looking for a more serious relationship.
And all those arguments about women being moody and arrogant because now they have more rights and stuff are just convenient excuses, middle-class women in South America are pretty much as emancipated as those in Spain, yet they are often much more polite and kind.

That's in reality just a nickname that sounds cool, I myself have little or no patience with rude girls, since I'm more of the romantic kind, trust me I know what's playing cat-and-mouse, and have no problem when someone is hard to get, I can't stand, however,moody or rude girls, like we use to say in Venezuela, if you enjoy rude women don't waste your time dating and go to any ministry or other kind of public office, you'll get enough rudeness there,haha

I find it difficult to have a discussion using terms such as 'all Spanish women do this' and 'Italian women are like this and that' etc.Surely we can only speak of our own experiences instead of talking using stereotypes which lets face it isnt a helpful discussion context for anyone to learn anything valid.

My very limited impression of Turkish women while I was in Istanbul was that they put A LOT of emphasis on looks and love men's attention. I think that most of them are taught to easily accept male authority, both in the society and in their lives.
One of them whom I got to know a little bit closer, behaved really silly, 'hard to get', was making fuss out of everything, and was talking all the time about nothing - even though she was educated and smart and was really a nice person. She was changing clothes, jewelery and make-up about three times a day... This silliness and game playing seems to be directly related to how good-looking and 'desirable' a woman is considered to be.
At the same time, I met a woman in her 20s who moved out from her parents in Adana and came to Istanbul, found a job, lived with a boyfriend (all of it considered to be unacceptable to her parents) and was strongly critical of male chauvinism and discrimination against women in the workplace in Turkey. She told me that she couldn't get a job in the area of her education because there were no women in that field and she was telling me how angry she was about how policemen on the streets would openly sexually degrade women who wear tight pants or even knee-long skirts.
Another Turkish woman I know is someone who came to the US to get her PhD in electrical engineering. She is not obsessed with looks, is really cool and smart. Another Turkish woman I know is again very strong and almost the dominating type.
However, I heard of many Turkish women who only go to universities in order to later find a rich husband.
The one generalization that I think is accurate is that most Turkish women are unfortunately very much obsessed with looks, which is really not surprising, looking at Turkish media. Overall they are nice and friendly, just like Turks in general.

So what you are saying...Turkish women are human beings... Who would have thought? No one can answer the question in this post! All of the descriptions of the Turkish women can be found in the U.S. too. 1 obsessed with looks (check) 2. university only to find a man (check) 3. smart and career minded (check) 4. act silly so men won't be put off by her smarts (check) I'm sure all these types of women live in Russia too. Urban vs rural makes a big difference too ( for example: Istanbul vs small town in Cappadocia), socioeconomic status, liberal vs conservative. As many have said, all people of a certain country cannot be lumped together and generalized accurately.

Of course they can't be lumped together (and nobody is trying to do that!), but THERE ARE cultural differences. Would you mind being more clear on how asking about "Turkish ladies" implies to you that they're not human beings???

THE FINE ART OF SARCASM. Geez...yes these people are all human beings, there are all types of people in all countries. Sarcasm doesn't translate well..."they are human being IMAGINE THAT!"

And what would you call this? Certainly you wanted it to go across well!!!

It's sarcasm. "they are human beings...Who would have thought!" is the same as "they are human beings...duhhh!" It doesn't work well in written form without inflection. If you aren't a native English speaker, you really might not understand it so I explained. I suppose I could write anything and someone is going to pick out one line and try to make a fight. My point being I think humans have a lot more in common cross-culturally than they do differences.

From what I easily understood reading Badiadancer's post was: Your post didn't say anything that was unique to Turkish women. What you said could be attributed to any people, any place, anytime. What you said was true about all humans.....and you didn't give her time to respond regarding "I even asked you to explain better why it's SO wrong to try and talk about how culture affects people"

Some people don't devote full time to responding here.

Here is what your synopsis of Turkish women was:
"The one generalization that I think is accurate is that most Turkish women are unfortunately very much obsessed with looks, which is really not surprising, looking at Turkish media. Overall they are nice and friendly, just like Turks in general."

Do you think they are more obsessed with looks than American women? In the US there is an epedemic of anorexia and bulimia....all related to looking a certain way, with very destructive results. Women wearing childish garments that are not at all age appropriate, in order to look younger and more appealing.

And talk about media....Turkish media has nothing on US media concerning the propagation of women looking sexy. I have noticed European media being much better.

I forget what film it was, but they had to go to Europe to find an actress who had not been botoxed, nipped and tucked to look much younger. One sees women in the US competing with 20 year olds in the looks department.

FWIW from the many Turkish women I've met, the one characteristic that stands out is their good manners and ettiquette. This I have seen from highly educated women to simple country women.

I have noticed that my mother and sister in law (and my husbands female Aunts and Cousins) are masters of manipulation. They just have a talent for presenting information to their husbands in order to elicite the response they want. It reminds me a little of that line in My Big Fat Greek Wedding....."A man may be the head of the family but the woman is the neck and she can turn him anyway she wants." I have no idea what this means for all Turkish women but that is what I have seen.

Alameda, you're saying "because american women are also obsessed with looks, we shouldn't talk about turkish women", which I don't think makes sense. It is worth to talk about it even if it was just because of the fact that the way american women obsess about looks, (express their emotions, the things they think about in their lives) are all very different from turkish women.

No, that is not what I wrote or was trying to express. My point was, being obsessed with looks is not a unique trait of Turkish women. It is a trait held by many woman internationally. When discussing cultural traits, one looks for something unique, not a common trait held in many other cultures. Is that clear enough for you?

So are we talking about American or Turkish women here? I'm confused. :-S

I thought that My Big Fat Greek Wedding wasnt half as full of stereotypes as I had expected it to be, and not half as funny

In my opinion based on an observation of many Turkish ladies young and old from country to sophisticated well educated city women, three things come to mind.

Cleanliness in their person, garments and home are usually spotless. In the home you could eat off the floor.

Femininity This is a difficult trait to define, but the Turkish women are definitely not tomboys. I never saw one.

Good Manners They are able to make one feel comfortable and at ease. Good manners are like the lubricant that keeps society running smoothly.

For those who have enough Turkish and want to learn more about Turkish women:

http://www.kadinlarkulubu.com (Meaning Women Club)

It's one of the most populous websites dedicated to Turkish women and has literally tens of thousands Turkish female members discussing everything there.

This post is also an answer to Femme Fatal, who keeps asking where "Turkish women are on the net".

Alameda, you know this whole thing is a waste of time. Let's not answer this duo anymore. They will obviously try to go on with their show. So be it. Let them do their thing. Don't bother trying to get your message through, All you wil get is anger and frustration.

Initially, I was a bit puzzled because one of them was our moderator and I thought moderators would have to be very mature people who would sort out problems cooling down angry people. Having met such a phenomenal moderator for the first time, I reacted naively only to find out that the whole thing had already turned into a pig circus at the hands of these xenophobic teenager mutant ninjas who pose like feminist psychiatrists.

I keep receiving PM's from people advising me to ignore them. Now the real problem is that these guys are not aware that they have a problem. All they care is zapping you right when you show up.

Life is beautiful and there are more important things in it.

I think it's the voice of common sense rather than a gang.

I agree Vineyards... Although I can't say I'm angry, just perplexed.

I've met several turkish women and my opinion is that they're a bit stuck up, rude, and arrogant. I've had conversatons with them and it seems like they all want "a handsome man who is rich." Most of them brag about their virginity. And the ones in west turkey all talk about east turkish guys like the scum...and said they wouldn't want those guys near them or to even scrub their shoes.

I guess the ones I've met called themselves "modern." They are very concerned with their looks and nosy about their neighbors and gossip alot.

Sigh...I guess everyone has faults and no one's perfect. But I am sure there are some nice turkish ladies, I just haven't met them yet.

Yes they are the desperate housewives of the future. I instantly remember one from New Jersey, three from Canada and two from Ohio. There are of course millions more here there and everywhere.

I would agree with you if you discussed the matter with facts and figures rather than basing all your arguments on a couple of ladies whom you met. Doing so would also indicate that you are serious, intimate and geniunely concerned about the subject you brought up.

Of course, this is not a sociology forum but now that there are those who dauntlessly fight for their opinions, I think they should also be brave enough to face the burden of reading a bit before staging their next toilsome campaign on cultural matters. In other words, I am asking you to write a bit more responsibly.

Is it ok if people share their experiences? At the end it will come to a big picture. Looks like everybody's experience is different.

Teaschip, you misunderstood that post.
You are taking things literally; I might as well call myself an elephant if I knew I could express myself more emphatically. Oh my God, I am tired of making these explanations. Why don't you start a thread and curse me everyday as the first thing in the morning.

Well, there is nothing wrong about taking them seriously as they are quite serious anyway. It is just the writing technique that I employed there. Thank you for your mature reaction.

Dear Teaschip1 Here's a netiquette source. You will find there are links for many other netiquette resources as well at the end of the page. Do have fun!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Netiquette