Hi!

Out of curious, how does a Turk dump a girl?

Depends on the Turk.

! I may sound weird, but my b/f has lots of turks friends and they do anything for the girl, promise the world... until they loose the interest and they are really bad, call the girl names, yell and much more... I ve never seen this before Hope my bf never do it to me

depends what they want

"Dumping" someone is natural (and not specific to men!). The whole point of dating is to discover if you like eachother and inevitably one or the other will want to end it, and there is nothing wrong with it.

However, as described in an earlier post, it seems some people are not brave enough to just admit "I don't want this relationship anymore" and end it fairly amicably, and instead resort to insulting and name calling so that he or she will leave. It seems that in the experience of an earlier poster, Turkish men tend to do this! Little darlings

Is it lack of English from my part, or is there a difference between breaking up with smo and dumping smo?

[Somehow my previous reply double posted, so I am replacing it with an added comment]

I hope things work out for Emilye. But I think that whenever two people in relation don't speak the same language, each party can have very different expectations.
(Its hard enough when they do speak the same language).

Anyhow keep those translation requests coming!

Living 3 years in an English speaking country, for me dumping and breaking up are similar words, but dumping is more like a street language; breaking up would be more formal.

For my experience, I've never heard any other man from other nationality treating an "ex" or "future to be ex" so bad for no reason. I do believe you are responsible for what you tammed, but they dont think like that and they tell me it s like this in Turkey....

I ve just asked to make sure if they are generalizing or they are justifying their bad behavior.

Emilye I'm sensing your getting ready to be dumped, why would you ask this question being a female? The term dumped usually indicates the other person did not want to end the relationship and feels rejected. Saying you broke up, again indicates a mutual decision. At least on the surface that is. It just sounds better to explain to people "we broke up" instead of saying the truth which might be you were actually dumped therefore being the dumpee instead of the dumper. It's all about truth or denial from within. He broke up with me..he dumped me. We broke up..I broke up with him and the list goes on.

Hi, I asked cause I put myself in somebody else's fight - what I shouldnt have done.
But i am a girl, I saw the situation and I couldnt hold myself.

Being dumped and someone breaking up with you mean exactly the same thing

I said "being dumped and someone breaking up with you mean exactly the same thing". What I just said isn't false. There are different levels of sensitivity, but in essence, they are the same.

It depends on the wisdom of the man. If a man with enough wisdom wants to break up with a girl who does not have comparable wisdom , he finds a way that silently and secretly pushes her in a way that at the end she will be the one that dumps him. Both parties win.

If the forces are equal in terms of wisdom, you just go and talk, underline some facts that both parties know these are BS facts but none the less no one admits but plays his/her part.

ahghghghahahghgh The person asked, what is the difference between the two? As I said, they mean the same thing but have different levels of sensitivity!!!! If a non native speaker heard that their friend had been "dumped" and asked what it meant, most people would say that is the same as someone breaking up with you, but in a more insensitive manner. Blimey.

if they want break up they just ignore

i have seen things around with my friends,and also life in Turkey learned alot about relations, but no - it is not my own experience - i am happy with my turksih guy

true pansy

and sorry for correction - ignoring, not ignorance ignorance means lack of knowledge.

and sorry for misspelling your name pansi...

sorry - my english is not so good

People meet, people love, people change their minds (even after lots of promises).

Is it a crime?
Deal with it

Hehehe how many times have YOU told the truth in this situation?

Do you say "Sorry but your feet smell and I find you really ugly now"????

NOPE

You say something like "I really really like you but I don´t want a serious relationship right now" or "I just feel we are drifting apart"

It makes no difference how you break up. The post important thing is to LET IT GO and never try to keep someone by using emotional blackmail - Yuck!

Anyway, I won´t linger in the Boyfriends and Lipstick thread - just wanted to say my piece

thanks for it anyway

Dumping is when one of you unexpectedly ends it. Usually it suggests without warning or discussion- it´s just suddenly over.

As an expat living here, I think I understand your question about Turkish men! It´s a little different to dating at home .....you only have to read the translation requests to see how it differs

This is a generalisation of course but nevertheless a common pattern my colleagues and  friends have found:

You meet ( it´s instant and intense!), he writes very romantic messages/emails declaring his overwhelming feelings, he calls constantly, he´s attentive and adoring- for about a month. Then nothing. No explanation. No contact.

He simply doesn´t call again. This is better known as being ´dumped.´

We´re used to discussing or arguing if we break up, so it´s a bit of a shock.

This has been much discussed over girls- wine- nights!

Turkish men are lovely and this is certainly not always the case- it just happens quite a lot.

From my own and others experiences as well,  one has to be careful not just with some turkish men but with any man who says "I love you" very soon. Sometimes the men who really love us are the ones who never tell that they love us.

 Yes, maybe some confusion with love and lust

What a life in turkey !  i was afraid of it , now .it confused me , i willing to live in turkey with my bf , but i still felt  some afraid of the very kind of life ...

 life here is pretty interesting, you just need to be sure about your deccision and open to all new  

 Nothing to be afraid of! Turkish men really like women- they get a little carried away perhaps, but people here are very warm and friendly. It´s an amazing country- a little like Asia, a little like Europe- if you have the chance to live here, you should be very excited!

In Canada and US beeing dumped means the same thing as beeing put to garbage, geting rid of something or someone embarassing or very bad. its a very negative word. braking up is softer, its ending a relation ´correctly´. another use we have in canada for dumping is sending someone to jail. the dictionnary says a dump is where trash is sent...that shows by itself the meaning.

about turks, i think some european and american girls get very excited about ´warm blooded´ man, its not something they are used to, on the other side i think some of those man know it and take advantage of those girls, but i dont think this description suits for all man and woman.

The original question about how Turkish men dump their girl friends doesn´t have a proper answer that applies to men of all ages, income groups or subcultural identities. Nevertheless, if we can narrow down the question and rephrase it like this :

How does a teenager who strictlly observes Turkish ways and traditions part with his girl friend?

Then I can say that most boys tend to be possesive in relations and vice versa. They like to control the other party as much as they can. They tend to be jealous and especially if they are conservative as well, they have problems opening up to each other and frequently run into problems with their families. Families being a part of the relationship with parents trying to control their offsprings´ affairs  problems and crises of all sorts are usually inevitable. Families can be restrictive especially if one of the lovers belongs to a different sociocultural level, income group, a sect (e.g. Alevite) or a race (e.g. Kurdish). Of the last two, sectarian awareness has always been a problem and the last one has become more problematic lately. In addition to personal, behavioural differences, there are a host of other factors determining the health of relationship.

When such relationships end, they usually end with a fight. Personality disorders are extremely rampant.  Predictably, people having dysfunctions of all sorts can´t maintain healthy relationships.

The attitude of most Turkish boys towards foreign girls is another story. I have personally observed many youngsters adopting an opportunistic attitude when getting into a relationship with a foreigner. Especially people who migrated to the big city in the hope of making it big here get frustrated by their poor lives and look to get a girl friend whom they regard as a stepping stone.  These people don´t pay any attention to the feelings of the foreign girl whom they have trapped. They usually dump them as soon as their need for such a relationship ends.

Unfortunately, part of this happens because these self centered people don´t even consider those poor girls as human beings. To them they are like the stars in the sky. They do not belong to their world so their feelings can be ignored. Plus, of course we must take into account the negative view certain conservative believers have about foreign women and foreign people in general.

Nevertheless, it is not possible to apply this to every single person in this relatively narrow group. It is just something that we see in this country. Problems of other kinds can be seen in all countries.

 This is also my experience, i experienced it myself with a turkish men (who appeared to be a lier and cheater) and i hear it a lot from other people. My husband (turkish) said it after 6 months and that was so much more valueble and true.

coming back to original topic..how???

Just like any other man of any nationality.

Nationality in such an isssue is of minor importance. 

He makes you dump him. 

That looks about right - but where did you get that pic of me!!!

What a strange question? That is not a matter of ´a Turk´ but of the guy. But.. with these long distance relationsship in this forum it is very easy, he just stops calling and emailing you and don´t respond anymore, very easy.  Good luck!

 That´s what I see the most around me Act as much like a ...uhum... as they can, until the girl is fed up.

Still i think worse is when you try to dump a turk..

 Why what happens?  Do they ACTUALLY throw themselves into the Bosphorous, or hang themselves as the translation forum implies?

..can be thousands sms...or they suddenly find out they have "blood cancer" and have only few months to live...or "i will get drunk and drive"...v.b.

 Ahhhh... the dramatic, passionate little darlings!

But nothing from what i wanted...like to pay a Tomer course 

 Ah, my Turkish dumped one didn´t get any cancer or got all dramatic and said he would drive off a cliff! What a stereotype! UNFAIR! He was such a sensitive guy... when it was clear I wouldn´t take him back, he took an overdose of sleepingpills and ended up in the hospital! And he called me one week later to tell me about it... But lies about being sick...pfff, that´s just silly

 I got very scared and told him not to do it because i dont have money for wreath (im not sure if i got the right word )

By the way, my ex just told me he had a back operation and that he can´t even move, and that there´s nobody to take care of him... He can´t even go to the toilet...luckily he can find the strength to go on internet He asked me to come and take care of him... maybe I should help him, poor guy!

Ohhhhhhh çok geçmiþ olsun !

one for all and all for one

 If he didnt ask you money for his operation ...

How cruel are you? You should have paid his medical bill and hire a private nurse. Heartless Cloggie

...so sad....,