Living - working in Turkey |
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A Turkish husband
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| 420. |
12 Jun 2009 Fri 12:47 am |
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I have a good and working relationship with my father who happens to be a lot more patriotic than I am. He also speaks English and I have never ever heard him say "Turkia" when he refers to our country in English. Maybe you will want to say: like the son, like the father but don´t worry; it is not like I have very high expectations of you anyway.
A little off topic, but I never really know exactly how to mispronounce names in the US, particularly French and Spanish ones. Names like Versailles I have heard pronunced Ver sail ee us....it can get confusing. Japan is not Japan it´s really Nippon, Spain isn´t Spain, it´s Espana...but I don´t even have the right character for it...the n is sort of a combination n +y.....
I think most of us do the best we can. It sounds pretty pretentious when people start pronouncing names correctly some times. They can be speaking English and all of a sudden they come on a name in another language and pronounce it the "native" manner.
As I said....I never know exactly how to mispronounce names in certain situations.
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| 421. |
12 Jun 2009 Fri 10:19 am |
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cocoanna: Thank you for the long story. Your family history is really interesting. 
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| 422. |
12 Jun 2009 Fri 01:59 pm |
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Surely it´s normal to say the name of the country/city/nationality you are talking about as it is pronounced in the language you are speaking! I wouldn´t say to a French person - ´Je suis English´ or ´I am Anglais´, ´J´habite en London´ or ´I live in Londres´ - so it´s either ´Türkiye´de otuyurum´ or ´I live in Turkey´ - not a mix!
(Sorry - a bit offtopic but that ´Turkia´ thing has annoyed me for quite a while!!)
I hear ya! Although saying Polska instead of Poland is not too controversial, the proper word for my nationality in Polish is Polak (m)/Polka(f). However in English it´s a Pole while "Pollack" is somewhat derogatory
Edited (6/12/2009) by Daydreamer
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| 423. |
12 Jun 2009 Fri 02:03 pm |
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I hear ya! Although saying Polska instead of Poland is not too controversial, the proper word for my nationality in Polish is Polak (m)/Polka(f). However in English it´s a Pole while "Pollack" is somewhat derogatory
Pity the poor people of Crete when we talk about them in English! 
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| 424. |
12 Jun 2009 Fri 02:14 pm |
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I hear ya! Although saying Polska instead of Poland is not too controversial, the proper word for my nationality in Polish is Polak (m)/Polka(f). However in English it´s a Pole while "Pollack" is somewhat derogatory
In the Ottoman times Poles were called Lehler (Lehs) and the country Lehistan. Today we call them Polonyali and the country Polonya.
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| 425. |
12 Jun 2009 Fri 05:54 pm |
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I too am sad to read your situation. I´m curious why are you praying every night for a divorce? If you are so miserable, get it over with....now....before you have children. Which can happen as long as you are "together".
I too read some of your earlier posts and notice it appears you are hardly married a year.
If you are absolutly sure you do not want to continue in this marriage. Many states have different types of marriage endings....the longer you are in it the harder it is. It looks like you got married in Turkey, which is another issue....but in the US...
Here is a link regarding divorce in all US states.
More on divorce and resources too
Many states make it much easier to divorce when the marriage has been of a short duration. After five years it gets more complicated and some things are automatic, like property division.
I doubt your husband married you just to get a visa or such type of thing. Most probably he had dreams and hopes too. As you are from different cultures "marriage" carries with it different connotations, even if you are both Muslims.
We´ve been married for almost two years. I am afraid that is already too late, I am already pregnant and that is why I am upset. When we got married he put two conditions to me. I did not want any children and he requested that we at least try and the clubing scene had to go away since "that´s not how married couples behave." So I said OK. Once he actually arrived to USA things started changing rapidly. He only works part time, but goes to the gym for three hours every day, plays volleyball five time a week, and goes clubing every weekend. He met another turkish guy around here who recently got divorced because he beat his wife and was caught actually cheating. The choice of friends you make many times says something about once personality. Once I found out I am pregnant I asked him to reduce the amount of his activities so we can spend some time together and he called me a controlling jealous freak, and told me that he does not want a baby, he has no time for it. Maybe not all turkish men are bad, i doubt that, but the once that i´ve met in USA are something else. I guess I should be happy at least mine does not beat me. So what were the two condition placed on me and should I stay married with such a man?
Edited (6/12/2009) by Irishclove
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| 426. |
12 Jun 2009 Fri 06:33 pm |
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We´ve been married for almost two years. I am afraid that is already too late, I am already pregnant and that is why I am upset. When we got married he put two conditions to me. I did not want any children and he requested that we at least try and the clubing scene had to go away since "that´s not how married couples behave." So I said OK. Once he actually arrived to USA things started changing rapidly. He only works part time, but goes to the gym for three hours every day, plays volleyball five time a week, and goes clubing every weekend. He met another turkish guy around here who recently got divorced because he beat his wife and was caught actually cheating. The choice of friends you make many times says something about once personality. Once I found out I am pregnant I asked him to reduce the amount of his activities so we can spend some time together and he called me , and told me that he does not want a baby, he has no time for it. Maybe not all turkish men are bad, i doubt that, but the once that i´ve met in USA are something else. I guess I should be happy at least mine does not beat me. So what were the two condition placed on me and should I stay married with such a man?
Only you and you alone can make the final choice. I think it is him who is a controlling jealous freak and he will not change. You need to sit down and look at what the future will be like for you and your child. It was him who wanted a child, so remind him of this. If you do want a divorce, then it needs to be done soon than later. I wish you well in what you decide
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