It's causing me much pain...

i've had a turkish boyfriend for just under a year now and we have hit a disasterous moment. His mum doesn't like the idea of him being with me and she has been to see a family to ask for their daughter to marry him, to which they have agreed. My boyfriend is completely opposed to this but is mother is still going ahead with all the plans.

He's told me there's nothing he can do as all it takes is for his parents and the girls parents to go to their local mosque and talk to their "imam" to get the marriage confirmed.

I know it sounds desperate but is there any way at all we can stop this marriage? He still lives with his parents, she will be moving into the family home. It will be only a couple of weeks before the marriage is arranged. He lives in Kemer.

We had planned for a future together... the children and the home that he is currently half way through building will no longer be ours to share and i feel hurt and angry.

If we decided to be together in the future is there any way to escape the marriage a year or so down the line? what are the laws regarding divorce and what are the laws if they have children?

Any advice or help would be much appreciated xxxx

thank you for that advice. I think though that he is caught up in the cultural idea of it all. all he keeps saying is that him and his wife to be will not even have to go and see the "imam" to get this marriage confirmed, that his parents are going and so he has no control over the situation. he is scared of going against is family because of the repercussions, and he's got a good heart so the idea of disobeying his mosque his scary for him too.

thank you.

i do know that it is probably best to let him go and i told him i wanted to finish the relationship but he said he won't allow me to.

both of us are so devastated by the whole thing. he is angry at his mum because she won't listen to a word he says. she simply doesn't want me in his life. i've never felt so cheated out of a happy life as i am right now.

First thing I need to ask is where are you living? Are you near him or living in seperate countries? I have been battling to stay with my boyfriend for 3 years now, and the situation was similar. He to will not stand up to his parents and it has caused me much pain. However he is a sweet man and definatly I could not find someone who compares. So this depends on how far you are willing to go and how much strength you have to wait things out. Not everything is cut and dry. I was given the advice a thousand times to just leave him, and you can't change this, and it not worth it... all things I've heard over and over. So its up to you and how strongly you feel. Do you have the good fight in you!?

we're in seperate countries.
I have a lot of fight left in me he is the best man i have ever met. i am willing to go on saving and preparing for a future with him in turkey, but i need to know that he will not forget me, and that he 100% wants the same thing as i do. what did you do to get through it? what is your situation now?

i posted translation messages to send him but nobody has translated them yet also... can you take a look?

Is it not possible for you to go and stay with his family for a while so they can get to know you? Maybe that would help your situation...
And if your boyfriend went to speak to the imam maybe he could help him. The imam can't be interested in allowing the marriage when your husband is against it. Also I don't understand how he can obey his mother when her discision will ruin his life. This maybe sound stupid but is he really aware of the consequences of being forced to marry this woman? It can't be in the interest of that woman to marry somebody who doesn't care for her at all, either.

yes we've discussed all of these possibilities. the whole process is so fast now that it will be only a couple of weeks before they are married and living in his parents home.
his dad is fine with me, ive met his brother and uncle, but his mum isn't interested.
its so frustrating we are so close to the family acceptine me yet so far since his mum has the last say.
i feel cheated.