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I need urgent advice
(57 Messages in 6 pages - View all)
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30.       qdemir
813 posts
 06 Jan 2007 Sat 10:16 pm

Quoting femme_fatal:

Quoting qdemir:

Quoting femme_fatal:

Quoting qdemir:


Dear femme_fatal, could you be more careful when you refer to Islam please? The main point of the thread is something different and particular to a single person and his attidute.


why dear qdemir? give me reasons.



The point hasn't got anyting to do with Islam.

Additionally,
Don't you think one should be cautious when s/he talks about any religion and belief and also believers in order not to hurt them, no matter s/he believes the same values or not.

There might be some wrong accepted practices or wrong interpretations of such beliefs, but such people and their practices don't include all the believers and don't harm the essence of religions.


thank you for being so diplomatic with me.
suprisingly its only muslims are always being hurt.
to me there is no a thing that cant be questioned, criticised or attacked. are you suggesting me that in order not to upset certain religion (namely islam) representatives i cant give my opinion?
as for practising customs, why on the earth horrible practises is surprisingly being carried out mainly in islamic countries?

what is ur opinion on this thread?




femme_fatal

As you have just said above I have kindly drawn your attention to some point by trying to be tolerant. But you have replied me in your usual way. You have left me no choice other than replying you in your way.

On reading your recent posts – especially, “to me there is no a thing that cant be questioned, criticised or attacked.” I thought and tried to understand why your heart is full of salient hatred against some values, and whenever you have a chance you throw up your hatred all over the site. (questioning and also criticism of anything in order to undertand are always wellcome. What you are doing is far beyond questioning and criticising, and needs to be dealt with.)

I also thought that you might have some feeling of inferiority. Your user name “femme_fatal” has made me think that way. Any woman with self-confidence and respect wouldn’t have picked up such a user name. This site isn’t a dating site. You might have by any chance logged in the page with personal pictures and thought the site was a dating site and decided on “femme_fatal”? I thought such a user name just lulled you into a false sense of security and beauty.

However I just didn’t want to judge you with some of your posts as it would have been unfair for you.(it would be unfair for anyone) I have taken my time to understand your physilogy and read over your posts randomly in order to see if I -or any other willing members- can be any help to save you from the hatred occupying your whole heart and blinding your mentality, otherwise some day you will certainly be drowned in your own vomit. Your hate ,of course, can’t harm anyone on here, but harm yourself and people in your life. Mine was just a sign of well intention to spare a person on behalf of mankind.

As I was reading over your posts I realized I had been wrong with what I had thought of you in the first place and felt pity for you. And I have started to be more understanding. What I have noticed is that your voracious abomination infecting your mentality hasn’t got to do with anyone or anything.

Quoting femme_fatal:

thats wot i've been telling on this site, that the religions make ppl irresponsible for their lives, they become unable to think like zombies. religions hold the human beings frfom developing, pull back to the middle ages. every religion discriminates the human being!




It is your own inner fight. A fight against the void in your heart which is deprived of the beauty of faith. The faith which makes all mankind beautiful with not only their inner world but also their relations with other people. Having that beauty or not determines your attitudes against other people. Faith makes people be different from other living creatures. On the other hand if you dont have such a faith it will put you in a position below other living creatures, so it makes you incarnate.

All holly religions have the same fundamantels concerning the scheme of universe and the place of mankind in this scheme; they all put forward the same values: being nice to other people and other creatures, having decent family life, being honest and so on.

The life of the model which had been founded on your outdated frame of mind ruling out all values, traditions and religions lasted seventy years and collapsed in the end. You are from one of those ex-states of a certain union in question, aren’t you? (I don’t understand why you always avoid saying where you are from.) You must know how humane that system was better than us. If you don’t, you mustn’t have succeed in releasing yourself from the chain of that mentality, and freeing your soul. You are just trying to feed the void in your soul by your lame rationalization of religions and traditions.

Quoting femme_fatal:

nowadays things went completely wrong: at school near me, teachers hire guards who protect them from kids. this is so sick, its a fault of stress-free way of raising children. now the society bears the consequences of their decision, falling prey of the trendy system once. they and we have to go thru such life lessons, we r not wise enough to foresee.



Quoting femme_fatal:

its my personal conclusion that when u release urself from the jail of traditions and start breathing fully with your lungs u become healthier, the air freshens up your blood circullation and bring more oxygen to your brain but when you are overloaded with all the customs and tradiotions you simply cant freely go ahead. have u seen those who lack the air? they say it became darker in their eyes.




What you are complaining about above is just due to the corruption of traditions and people’s getting estranged from religions. Not any religion says “be bad against other people”

Any law or related regulation can’t be enough to prevent these things from happening itself. It is obvious enough today that laws aren’t effective enough to regulate socioeconomic life . Because some people don’t have any faith, love for God. Religions say; “love the created due to the creator.” and “ killing a single person - if it isn’t for self-defence - means killing all people on the earth Any person having this in his mind and heart can’t harm other people.


We, of course, should have such laws to prevent or punish people having committed crime. Crimes have been committed during the history of mankind and will keep happening. However the more people have faith the less they commit any crime. Some might misunderstand or misinterpret religions. That doesnt make any difference and harm the essence of the religions. The wrong practices of religions and customs by some can’t be taken as a model.


By any chance if you have your senses, which you have taken leave, again, and would like to learn about any religion, there are plenty of people on here from all holly religions who are willing to help you any time. Free your soul from dormancy. It is not too late for anything.
Otherwise what you are trying to do on here is just a futile effort.

31.       Dilara
1153 posts
 06 Jan 2007 Sat 10:27 pm

Deep stuff...and there is just one thing I want to say:
I dont think that by RESPECTING traditions and go on with them one person lives in "Stone Age"...

32.       mheart72
73 posts
 06 Jan 2007 Sat 10:45 pm

traditions and culture are integral parts of what we are.
Some people believe it and follow it hook, line and sinker and some people don't. i respect that. Questioning/asking people who practice those is not bad for us to learn and understand. But questioning/giving comments to insult and to be obnoxious is another thing.

33.       libralady
5152 posts
 06 Jan 2007 Sat 11:11 pm

I am not going to quote the whole of Qdemir post but he does have a point - Femme Fatal, being a woman who seduces the male only to administer her "poison". The Mata Hari being one, although for me she was a heroine.

What I am trying to say here is that we all think our view is the right one and we should all give each other the benefit of the doubt and consider the other person may have a good point. Lots of us here come from different cultures and countries and of course for many of those, English is not their first language, therefore sometimes the true meaning is lost because of the grammar or use of words.

Being a Librian I like to see peace, harmony and balance and am often tryng to restore calm to disorder (Not normally here but in other aspects of my life).

Have a good evening - better than mine, nothing on TV (I only receive 5 channel!) so consequently I am here.......

34.       kai
0 posts
 06 Jan 2007 Sat 11:14 pm

Quoting libralady:

we should all give each other the benefit of the doubt and consider the other person may have a good point. Lots of us here come from different cultures and countries



THANK YOU!!!! AT LAST!!!

35.       TURQuazman
213 posts
 06 Jan 2007 Sat 11:22 pm

THANK YOU QDEMİR FOR TAKİNG TİME TO WRİTE SUCH "FULL" POST.

ELİNE DİLİNE SAGLIK,

36.       libralady
5152 posts
 06 Jan 2007 Sat 11:25 pm

Quoting TURQuazman:

THANK YOU QDEMİR FOR TAKİNG TİME TO WRİTE SUCH "FULL" POST.

ELİNE DİLİNE SAGLIK,



Yes, how does he find the time and the motivation? I prefer - bottle of wine

37.       kisskitty
4 posts
 07 Jan 2007 Sun 12:03 am

I am so sorry this causing you so much pain. Has your boyfriend come up to his family and told them that he wants to be with you and only with you and that he is serious with you? Have you ever met his family or have they gotten to know you at all? If you ask yourself these questions and the answers are "i don't know" or "no" maybe you should think twice about your boyfriend. but if your answer to at least the first question is a "yes" maybe you both could find ways to escape this. you said he lives with his parents...what if he just escapes from his home to your place and hide? or just confront his parents about it with both of you face to face with his parents like adults.

Kerrie Ogden, if a man TRULY loves a woman then he will do EVERYTHING in his power to be with her and only her and escape an arranged marriage.

if your boyfriend goes through /succumbs into this arranged marriage and saying that "he can't really do anything about it"...that is B**L S%IT!!!... he has a choice just like everybody else...he can either marry her or NOT marry her...if he can't make that choice because of his parents that just shows that he's not man enough to fight for what he really wants! he's not man enough make his own choices or he just doesn't want to or maybe he doesn't know what he wants.

Ask yourself this, do you honestly want to be with a man who can't make his own decisions? somebody who can't fight hard enough for the both of you? perhaps you should move on there are better things for you out in this world. I know this is easier said than done.

I'm not trying to be harsh or anything like that. Its just I think that sometimes we love so much we go into it with eyes closed. I am almost in the same situation. My boyfriend is Turkish and I am Asian and my parents does not allow me to see him but he still comes here as often as he can to see me in secret. but i fought with my parents and i let them know that i want to see him. and if he decides to stay here in the US (which is a problem for us) then we will see where our relationship goes and perhaps we'll get married. He is 30 years old and i am 22 we have cultural and religious differences... it is so hard but we are trying to work it out and i am not sure whether it will work out or not but i at least know we are both trying hard and not giving up easily.

I have come to accept that if things don't work out. it is okay because I'm young and there are many chances for me. you should think the same way too. there plenty of chances that you will encounter and one day you will find somebody who will chase you till the end of the milky way. and you should give your love for someone who is more deserving of it.

I'm not saying things will not work out but you should think things through by yourself and work out things with boyfriend and his family. I wish you the best in your situation. if you believe that there is a God out there... this is happening for a reason because God has great plans for you and this too shall pass... believe me you will only come out of this situation a better and wiser person.

I wish you the best.

38.       ceylanOANA
45 posts
 07 Jan 2007 Sun 12:14 am

KERRIEOGDEN,
What I want you to know is that I am Romanian and my fiancee is Turk. His family is not very religious (so, please do not believe all the things you read here or see on tv
THEY ARE ALMOST LIKE US, THE REST OF EUROPEANS...AN OVERWHELMING PERCENT)
NOT ALL TURKS ARRANGE MARRIAGES, CMON, PEOPLE..WAKE UP AND DON'T SPEAK IF U DON'T KNOW THE REALITY FROM THERE..
I HAD PROBLEMS WITH MY FAMILY, REGARDING OUR MARRIAGE...NOT HIS!!
HIS PARENTS ARE HAPPY, AND THEY ARE VERY EAGER TO KNOW ME, IN 3 WEEKS...
BUT I FOUGHT WITH MY MOM, TO BE WITH HIM AND TO ACCEPT THE IDEA THAT HE IS SPEACIAL TO ME!!
HE EVEN WANTS TO BECOME ORTHODOX, COS HE KNOWS THAT HERE,
MY PEOPLE HAVE GREAT PREJUDICES REGARDING ISLAM...
SO, please, ask your lover to fight, like a man, because this has nothing to do with religion
and to decide if he wants you...
I don't want you to suffer...please, forgive me..
Just have a mature final talk with him and ask him to be honest

39.       femme_fatal
0 posts
 07 Jan 2007 Sun 12:21 am

dear qdemir
i dont remember i asked u a question to make a psycho-analyses of my personality. i have asked a different question.
if u have thought u would gain a hand clapping from others for mocking me, then u've received that.
as for my nick u have absolutely no idea of its history: i actually prefer being femme plus fatale than other stupid ones like "miss smth" "princess" and bla-bla!
a very weak analyses based on faulse guessings, dear qdemir.
hehehe, dating? are you really serious about this? u gallopped too far ahead.
i have no need to avoid telling from where im, i keep to my statement: nobody asked from where im, so had no need to tell.
nice point for u, because u know very well which country im from but u kept defining me as a don or molokan cossak, which was actually a good joke!
i think any person who has at least a tiny brain can guess where im from seeing the sites i've given in my profile.

thank you for teaching me about religions, but i think i know about religions more than u. btw, what are those holy religions u r talking about?
as for a religion and its use for the society, u r right, its indeed an opium for the dark mass. the religion gives them the feeling of security but also hurts severely telling the sweet stories. tell me, what is a beauty in religions?

as for the soviet union, i rush to tell u that there were no religions and still was much safer due to the severe punishments than in the post soviet period. pls, dont think i adore communism, or feel nostalgia towards poor old ussr.

is it my turn to analize ur personality?

40.       Dilara
1153 posts
 07 Jan 2007 Sun 12:33 am

'if u have thought u would gain a hand clapping from others for mocking me, then u've received that. '

'i think any person who has at least a tiny brain can guess where im from seeing the sites i've given in my profile.' (and so you meant he has 'no braın' )

' is it my turn to analize ur personality? '

Please...

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