My family do not like the idear of me going over to turkey for a Turkish guy. They seem to think it will never work it was a holiday romance and they say that he probably just wants money. This makes me pretty mad as i would like support on my choices. I have no one to talk to about this, is anyone on the same boat???

Sarah

As a hot headed 17 year I would have been the same as you, and defied my family - but on the other hand, as a parent I would be the same as your parents. So there is no easy answer.

you will understand em better when you been a parent,so its early to understand em for you

This situation has happened to 2 of my friends and unfortunatly...her parents were right. One of the guys acted as if he was in the hospital and somehow fell in love with her after a holiday romance and then was asking her for money. It's unfortunate...but why can't he come see you?

I know he doesn't have that much money, he offered to give me money a couples of times and i didn't take it. I also make it clear that i don't have any money to give him and he doesn't ask. I understand my parents concern but also my parents do not want to let me go. I love Turkey, am not planning on moving for good i just want to enjoy the experience.

thats such a bad to mention about money while talking about love,but pity love sometime look likes a monster,so it needs careful attention

So what we going to do?!

If you don't think it's going to last or if you're early into the relationship, I'd say spare yourself of the heartbreak. It's really hard to be in that kind of relationship.

I also met a guy and my parents were against it for the same reasons as yours but went ahead with it anyway because I had a strong belief in us. We're married today
Unfortunately most of these relationships are doomed, but not all.

It is unfortunately not enough to be'in love', there is so much more to consider - I would say get to know each other very well first - there is no difference in finding love in your own country - just have to be more committed and more patient I guess.
You have to try to be understanding with your parents - they are just worried for you I am sure.
Time will tell if you are suited and to give you a better insight into what it might be like in actually living together - you will need to visit each other in your respective countries to see how each one interacts with the others family and friends - you might find that you do not feel the same when you have spent more time together.
Anyway good luck and take it slowly and just see it goes

For every 100 relationships 80 % will go by the way side. The differance in culture, language and religion is hard enough. Not being able to converse presents a huge problem as lots of the time misunderstanding is construed. The majorıty don't have the English sense of humour !!!!!

İ wish everyone success but from one who know's be very careful, weight up all the options before making a huge commitment or mistake.

Unfortunately Marriage by love relationships Unsuccessful today
becouse the love is gone , only still its imagination

I believe that traditional marriages succeed more than marriage by love, as evidenced by marriage of parents who is grow

I think that one should carefully consider the family you are going to marry into and vice versa. Unfortunately, the families can make or break a marriage.

Most importantly, take your time!!!! Really get to know each other. Bi-racial/cultural/language are HUGE! Often two people of similar backgrounds don't understand each other. So don't fool yourself into believing that love solves all. You lose that 'in love' feeling after 2 years according to a study i read. (I will look for it to give you the link) But, if you persist in the relationship you will fall back in love again and at a higher level. So, relationships/marriage take lots of committement(did i spell that right?) Oh well...too lazy for dictionary now. But you must make sure that their level of dedication matches yours. Everybody says 'until death do us part'. Make sure they know what they are getting into and you too!!!! So, have clear boundaries and goals...

Capo, good luck with your exams!
Your English is perfect, I know that well.

Am not so sure we should judge a book by the cover. I know some Turks want British women for money, but i also know British women go on holiday for sex.

I respect my parents thoughts but there comes a time in life when you have to grow up and live your own life. I have different views on life than them.

18 wow that's young, but 11 years later. See it can happen. Am not saying we are going to get married, giving up a home or giving up a family i just simply met someone and i take each day as it comes. I love my parents but i don't want to get to their age and look back at my life and wonder what if.
x

"you can only but try, if it doesn't work then move on"

If it works it works, it doesn't it doesn't either way i will post my story here.

When I just met my (ex)boyfriend we didn't even talk about moving there or anything. I was only concerned with going there on holiday again . I think you shouldn't be talking about all that stuff yet when you only just met.. it just takes time with long distance relationships!

But I don't see there's any reason in starting the relationship in the first place if it's not going to lead anywhere.

That's true it does take time and hard work when it comes to long distance. I say that i like to hope that it leads into to a future because its hard. If not then i put it down to experience.

Good luck with it I was lucky that my parents thought my ex bf quite cute . But they also made a fuss of it, I think that's just the task of being a parent

I am dating a Turkish man, of course by internet as of now.
I am planning on making a visit in September. We are getting serious..
He is 24 and I am almost 30. He says is a virgin and has never kissed. Is this normal for a Turkish man?
I believe him but there is a part of me that doesn't maybe because of my culture. I am from the U.S.
He wants me to meet his family. At first he said later we can meet now he wants me to meet them. I have read some forums about when a Turkish man wants you to meet the family means the relationship is serious.
If anyone has any info or advise please let me know...

hehe,you found a virgin man and still some questions,go ahead never leave his hands from urs

If he is not a Virgin I am not too worried because I myself am not. I have been with 3 people... I have 2 children and he knows this. He wants a family and wants to be a part of my childrens life. I just couldn't believe that someone so handsome and sweet never had a girlfriend???
Having children and dating I have to be very carefull and cuasious who I am with. I just want the best man for me and my kids.
My soon to be ex husband drinks and does drugs often and spends more time with his friends than his family.
I prayed that I would meet someone that doesn't drink and wants a family life and that is when I met Durmus online.
It wasn't that I was looking, I actually was chatting for people who wanted to work from home and he popped up and we started talking from that point on.
I look for signs of what path I need to be on in life.
My soon to be ex husband was in the Navy and he actually visited Turkey. He took this wonderful picture and I just fell in love with it. I never knew where it was from and after I started talking with Durmus I was going through my pictures and came across that one I fell in love with and I turned it over and on the back it said "Sunrise Turkey"
We have this ashtray that is pretty neat looking and I asked my soon to be ex where he got it from and he said "Turkey"
I am looking at all the signs of fate too.
I am weird, yes I know but I haven't been wrong on my preminissions and feelings that much.
Thanks for all your advises.

Good luck Melissa

And if you need MrX67 just go to www.X67sheetcheck.com !

you guys are funny!!! I appreciate your honesty and help!

i had a turkish bf and broke up with recently...th reason?...he is only good when he's in need of something..and up to this very moment he's bothering me...i dont speak in genereal, cuz i know a lot of turkish guy who are really sincere..

...............Melissa, you're just coming out of a bad marriage and it's too soon to get into another relationship, especially one you just met on the internet. Give it more time, right now you have yourself and your children to think about. I can't say that he may turn out to be Prince Charming or not, but I would get to know him first and see what his real intentions are? Good luck to you and your children'......


Abso-bloomin-lutely!!!! don't be in a hurry to make another mistake- you are still young and have plenty of opportunity to meet 'Mr. Right' don't be 'taken in' by charm and supposed naievity- good luck to you and your children.

BAGLASAN DA DURMAZ DANAYI, GIDER BULUR ANAYI.

Old Turkish Proverb

My advice is win back the hearts of parents on both sides...now.

Thank you all for your advice. I am still up in the air about things.
I would really like to go to Turkey and see him but I want to have the experience of seeing another country and a beautiful one like Turkey.
I know coming out of a bad relationship and hopping into the next one isn't good. The way that I look at it is I need time to myself. I have been raising these kids pretty much on my own.
I do need some me time and if I don't take care of myself then I wont be able to take care of my children.
So, if I go, and it doesn't work out at least I got to experience Turkey and have a week long fling!!hehe
No that is not what I am all about.
Again, Thanks for your insights

Maybe there is no racism but there is unfairness. When someone tells you that you are too old to date my son or because you are not Turkish you can't see him anymore to me there is being judgement of character and someone having a closed mind.

Why is this racism? If I had a son that was marrying a woman much older than himself, I would also try to prevent it. Not to harm the woman, but to protect my son. Marraige is hard enough as it is. This age difference will at some point become a negative to a marraige. Its just not smart. I agree with whoever said it earlier. Focus on your kids and don't fantasize about a fantasy romance on the other side of the globe.

You can make a face, but what is wrong with protecting your children? If you think they are making a mistake, you have to tell them.

my mum is totally opposite she never has a bad word to say about my turkish boyfriend. if i find something wrong she convinces me nothing is wrong with him. it sometimes feels like she is sticking up for him just thought i would express my situation

"carpe diem!!!"