You know Daydreamer...pulling posts out of context really is not that honest a strategy. Why didn´t you include the thread names so things can be read in context?

Anyway.....nobody is asking you or anyone here to be in an arranged marriage. I admit, some are tragic, and not all work, but I have seen hundreds of them....and most have worked very well. I have also seen hundreds of "Western" marriages, most of which failed only to lead to 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th...and on marriages...with traumatized children scattered all over the place.

I´ve seen hundreds of lonely old people abandoned old people....whose children have gone off and abandoned their parents.....it breaks your heart. I´ve seen many an old bachelors and bachelorette (aka) spinsters....with nobody to care for them.

I speak from experience, from what I have seen in the flesh, not some hypothetical analysis.

You are doing the best thing by not answering the insults. In fact, the only thing that seems to be wrong is the fact that you have "STILL" been posting the exact same message over and over. That´s too much reaction over a single sentence. I am saying this to invite you to be consistent with what you have just said: "I have fought against backward things all my life." This is about time you take one step forward.

 Daydreamer, at least we are getting someplace closer to an understanding....

Let me tell you about some samples....Let´s say a boy and girl are going to the same school, or they have mutual friends, they have been in many groups with those persons. They have had opportunities to talk and see each other, but not alone. Maybe they tell an aunt, or she, (a matchmaker) notices the sparks....the aunt or matchmaker then makes inquires about that person.

Information is gathered an analyzed, and discussed. If it seems right a family member goes to the girls family and makes a suggestion. It is either rejected or accepted. If it´s accepted an engagement is made and the couple date, but hey are not alone, at least not for long.

If after a suitable time they decide they in fact do like each other, the marriage goes through. If not, it is terminated.

I know of one couple where the wife continued going to school and got her Phd, while she was supported by her husband. She had a child that was taken care of by family when she was in school. That was part of the marriage agreement the families agreed to.

When you are in the flames of passionate love rational thinking goes out the door. The objective in arranging marriage is to get things at the spark level, rather than when there is an all consuming raging fire.

I gave the source, Alameda.

If you don´t know how to do it -

http://www.turkishclass.com/userMessages_alameda_-1

then press Ctrl F and type in arranged

that´s how I came about these quotes. It´s not like I´m hiding the context. It would be pointless because all the quotes state what you stated a minute ago - you like the idea of arranged marriages.

How is that insulting that I said so?

Let me be Handsomish and for the first time say I think I deserve an apology for being called a manipulator and allegedly insulting you. None of these happened. It´s as plain as the nose on my face.

I have said numerous times that it is not the idea of arranged marriages that I dislike, but how it works in practice.

It is not my objection that sometimes people decide to seek help to find a spouse - by no means is it! I actually think it´s better to ask family for help than a stranger or a computer program (not to mention a guru in a land far far away). I have no problem with that. I am not really a romantic person myself. I don´t do crazy stuff for love. I certainly wouldn´t marry anyone because of hormones - I need time to get to know the person and develop friendship first. I´m not convinced marriages of people who meet in April and marry in May would work for me. I like sniffing around a bit before

The only thing that makes me cringe about arranged marriages is when they are THE ONLY option for a girl or a boy to find a spouse. This goes against everything I believe in. And although neither party disagrees to this marriage, I consider it not to be an arranged marriage, but a forced one - not forced by the parents but by tradition. Of course, if people treat it as duty, the chances are in the long run most of them will accept their fate and even grow to love their spouse. What about the ones who won´t?

I can believe that these marriages last longer, but I will never believe that everybody is happy in them. Coming from a traditional background it might be hard for one (especially the woman) to stop a marriage if they´re unhappy. Do you see my point?

Yes I am stil lnot answering the insults..

So you know that there are insults.

As a mod, what did you do about them? Be consistent, come on!!..

I asked you  some questions..:

what you said was :

What´s going on? What personal attacks are you talking about? Have you ever read your own messages? Do you know how many complaints I have received about you? You always do that. You stir trouble and play the victim afterwards. 

I have no personal problems with you. On the contrary, I can say I like you. You are a good, reliable net personality, a bit predictable but funny as hell, maybe on a par with Mr. Bean.

 My questions were :

Go and start from the beginning of this thread!!!

Tell me where and when..

Tell me who complained.. 

Look at your posts, your quotes. 

Tell me which posts of mines were offensive!!

Tell me who told you and tell me when you told me that they were offensive!!

And stop!!! 

No one is asking your opinion about me god´s sake..

You have rules and you, yourself, are breaking them!!

Phew!! 

I am still waiting for your answers.. 

Do you have answers?

Will you start from the beginning of this thread and tell me

WHERE AND WHEN IN MY MESSAGES I WAS OFFENSIVE?

WHO COMPLAINED YOU?

WHEN DID YOU WARN ME (SO I COULD GO AND CORRECT)

And yes.. At first, as you said, your innuendos were aimed at me.. I was not arguing with you.. I did not say anything to you..And later on almost all posts from you by quoting my posts are considered as personal!!!(I can imagine what the out cry would be if I did the same!!!)

Why did you go want to personal?

Dont you think it was rude?

I think you should apologise for being rude..

And check all other posts and delete the rude ones!!

Anyway, but first please answer the questions.. (if you have any answers of course. If you dont, just say so)

I was reacting to what appeared to me to be the implication that I approved this hideous abuse of power, and violation of human rights....I do not....so it seems we are pretty much in agreement in the end. If I have hurt your feelings, please forgive me. It was not my intention.

"What´s even sadder is that Alameda will jump in this thread in a moment and praise the benefits of arranged marriages. Apparently some people find these poor girls´ fate a blessing "

I perceived your post in this context you see...........these poor girls....appears to be in reference to those in Si´s post:

43% is forced to marry before they are under 18, of those 74% are married according to the agreement between the families and 6.6% unwilingly forced to marry.
24.6% those who are married between 13-15 years of age
22.1% those who are married between 16-17 years of age
1.2% those who are married under 12

 Ah....happy...how many people are happy at all? Some have millions, are beautiful....but not happy...........that is a whole other discussion for later, Ok...I am tired now and have work to do.

OK I will not let you know who complained of you as this is private information. But since I see no problem personally, I once complained of you, I did this after talking to a few people who said negative things about you. You eventually apoligized and the matter was closed.

Perhaps I consider you a lost case from communication point of view. I might be applying you some sort of shock therapy with an intention to get you start questioning yourself. Ask yourself if it is really your burning desire to fight against bigotry and recession that makes you attack people. Could it be passive aggression?

Excuse me ?

Are you for real?

So , are you saying that in this thread no body complained to you? If there was a complain did you warn me so that I can go back and correct my insulting post?

But you, as a mod, decided to get personal and tried to be insulting to me without a reason?

Are you joking? or are you just drunk?

Let me answer with a famous phrase: Cogito ergo sum.

P.S. I am not drunk. 

Quoting thehandsom