cool..by the way we have gone off topic

One thing i dont understand but understand the explanation is that my brother in law smokes and so does his father (my father in law) and i smoke, my choice not theirs is that i go out side on their balcony to have a cigarette day or night time. Ahmet's brother has never ever smoked in front of his father and when asked why i was told out of respect.
I just dont understand this bit because they both smokeand turkey is a nation of smokers and father knows he smokes can anone explaine why this is considered disrespectful? father smokes usually outside when working or in his room but non the less if he wants one he has one and yet Mehmet only smokes when his father is out the way and then he smokes in the main living room.
visitors who come to visit they smoke in the living room .
eating too we all get stuck in at the same time,men , women and children all squat on the floor and who ever's got their spoons ready first are the ones who tuck in first usually the kids and ol' smiffy (me) lol.
if im slow for the off then father in law gives me the nod and indicates for me to eat before hs's ready to eat.
i love bread but nothing like the Turks lol i ended up eating at least a loaf and a half a day !! girls you cant worry about your wasitline if you live with a Turkish family lol deal with the after effects when you get home.
the crossing of legs just isnt done by the Turkish women and with their long skirts it would be difficult it would bring up the length of the skirt thus showing a bit of leg not good showing an ankle! so keeping both feet on the floor looks more refined.I am talking village life though and not town or city life,im yet to experience that .

I wondered about the pointing the feet at someone could it be considered rude? so i sat,watched and that didnt seem to be a problem the rest of them did it when relaxing putting their feet up,more than one occasion i had two old plates of meat on my lap as my husband laid out BUT if father walked in to the room they all shot up to the upright position and sat properly i guess a respect thing.
sitting and watching i find is the best way to learn along with of course asking.
my husband said he was so proud of me and so respected the fact that i asked before meeting his family for the first time the do's and donts so i was well prepared and wouldnt ebarrasse myself or him.
people are all different and so some people would take offence whilst other wouldnt and my in laws and family knew i was not muslim and fully understand my way of life is so differnet to theirs and so if i did do something they laughed and had no problem with anything i did but they could see i had already made an effort to fit in with their life style ie skirts not trousers and insisting i go out side to smoke although they preferred i stayed indoors but they are not used to women smoking so i felt better doing that way. This was my choice and it certainly wasnt expected of me in anyshape or form. During Ramazan i was asked if i would like some alcohol !!!! not one member of his family had ever had a drop touch their lips but they were so keen to make me feel comfortable on my first visit they thought a beer or two would go down well but im not a huge drinker and was quite happy living without it but i was so taken aback to have had them offer this to me esp it was during theri most religious moment of the year.
i wonder if the shoe was on the other foot and had a muslim stay for christmas and because they dont drink say "oh this christmas non of us will not drink out of respect" i can imagine most will stay " stuff it they dont like it they know where they can go, they dont want a drink thats their problem "
greeting people i found that hugging was no problem after the kiss on both cheeks the women then hugged me and they clung on like limpits lol
well thats my experiences on my Traditional family life
i love it although found it so boring at times but accepted it im not in England and im not living in a european environment

Jackie

xx

yeh they arent supposed to do anything negative in front of their father..even if something with nudity comes on television they or their father will change the channel if they are in the same room.the same goes for elder male family members..

i have enjoyed reading this!

i am going to stay wih my (male) friend for two weeks at the end of january and he is taking me round a few places. i am not sure if i will be meeting his family but i know we are visiting his home town which is fethiye and i'm really scared that i am goin to offend someone or do something wrong and make a fool of myself (and him)!

eek!

is there anything else i should do/know?

any help would be much appreciated. x