okay guys im in a bit of a situation what can i do? my husbands sister was married to a guy for 15 years they have 2older children together in turkey, the guy came to the uk 9 years ago. He claimed asylum and 4 years ago decided to marry an english woman here so that meant he had to divorce my sister in law. She didnt really have much choice and agreed . Now he is married to a english woman . He has lied to his english wife tellling her his ex wife no longer lives in that village but infact she lives in his house all year round. Not only that he has had a baby with his turkish wife and his english wife doesnt have any idea.I think the english wife deserves to know that her husband has a child and is still sending his turkish wife money.the english woman knows about his 2 older children but not the baby . What should I do if i tell this lady whats going on I risk losing everything. HELP

I can understand you wanting to help this english woman by telling her the truth about her turkish husband, but I wouldn't get myself involved especially being yourself married to a turkish man. Turkish men do not like for others to know about their personal marriage business, so I'am sure your husband would not approve of you getting involved in this couple's situation by you telling her what you know about him, ex-turkish wife and the baby.

Best to let this woman find out the truth on her own because eventually she will find out about it sooner or later because always the truth comes out at the end.

I'am sorry to sound so cold, but I also have a friend also in a similar situation except that he did not divorce his turkish wife, but rather want to have both women. Sad isn't it about what some of these men do and how they hurt women, but as most here would say 'there are men like these all over the world'

It sounds very harsh, but this is actually none of your business and I wonder why you feel you should get involved? You obviously feel your loyalty lies with your sister-in-law so are you thinking that by telling this English woman about the baby you will cause problems in her relationship?

In any situation like this, you should stay out of it. Disclosing anyone else's secrets (however morally justified you think you may be) only causes upset and argument. In addition, people DO tend to shoot the messenger

Am I the only one who thinks that what this man has done is absolutely disgusting, not to mention that bigamy is illegal? If he has a baby with the turkish woman, that means they're still together. I understand that you don't want to ruin your own situation, and I don't encourage you to tell her.

But generally, regardless if you're turkish married, russian married or whatever it is downright wrong, this situation is horrible and I can't even begin to explain my sympathy for this english woman. This isn't about respecting turkish customs or political correctness, this is about human and womens rights.

Still, I would probably not say anything, at least not personally. Perhaps drop her an anonymous letter or invite her for a holiday in Turkey so there's a slight chance this woman can get rid of her so-called husband. Nobody deserves this kind of betrayal.

i think its far more convenient that he lived here illegally,got caught, got deported,then 'found' an english woman stupid enough to marry him some men i know have done this..their turkish wives are more than aware of the situation and the relationship is often still continuing behind the english woman's back either way i agree that it is not your place to tell her directly.

no he didnt tell her he was still married he got a divorce without telling the english woman he wasnt deported either he was seeking asylum

İ second this too,your interfering would make things worse,for all the parts,including yourself ofcourse.

First,it may cause problems to your own marriage.
Second,it may cause problems to your sister_in law,at least as i understood,he is carring on his financial responsibilities,maybe when he knew you told the English lady,he will cut it off among other problems too.
Third,it may cause divorce regarding the English lady and you will have to live with that too.

We don't discuss if that is right or wrong,but discussing the stiuation which you have to deal with cause it will effect everything .

Somehow,the English lady will know,sooner or later,but it will cause lots of problems if she knew from you.

And do you think,the English lady doesn't know why did he marry her ?!

i agree with what everyone else has said so far. unfortunately, i don't think you should interfere and tell the english lady. you don't know what the consequences will be...to the english lady, your sister-in-law, or even yourself if you get invovled.

i think what this man is doing is disgusting. but as i always like to think, karma will come around, he will get what he deserves in the end.

i suppose i would like to know why your sister-in-law decided to have another baby with him and put up with his antics. probably to save face in light of their divorce?

My only advise is not to let 3 kids...without the financial support (or even more than only it)
Children are the most important issue,
cos they have no guilt..
Leave the adults..to bare their problems
kids can't...so...be wise

I don't know if I really think it is disgusting?? he left his wife and divorced her.... happens everyday. Sad? yes, but geez at least he is still being responsible for the woman in Turkey and paying for his children. I would feel more sorry for the Turkish woman rather then the english woman. There is no reason for "you" to tell the english woman. It is his job to let her know he was previously married. I happen to think that even if she would have known when they got together she probably would have married him anyway. As tempting as it is to get involved in other peoples business (I do love a bit of gossip myself The best thing is to let it unravel all on its own.

i only said disgusting because i was under the impression that he cheated on his turkish (now ex) wife with the english lady, and then had a baby with his turkish ex-wife whilst he was married to the english lady. confused yet? i am!! maybe disgusting wasn't the right word.

yeh true, at least he is supporting his kids by sending money back to his turkish ex-wife.