Distance can really effect them...

Mines ended now because we cant handle being apart..

Therefore we have realised we cannot be together even though we are in love..


Anyone known a similiar situation?

hey guys, ive been reading the forum and noticed lots of young girls have been commenting on the fact they have turkish boyfriends, i am NOT opposed to this due to the fact ive been to turkey 3 times and am going a 4th this june, but everytime ive been there ive met a turkish guy who is sexy and wants to marry me. most of these people only want a visa,and know us girls will get flattered and might agree to marry them, but some are genuine enough, for example, in july 2005 when i went i met lots of turkih boys and men who paid me lots of attention (which i loved) and i really took 2 1 of them who i still keep in contact, yes, he works in a little bag shop in the summer but this is not his life he studies philosophy, psychology and russian at uni and is going to make something of himself. he is planning to visit me after the summer season this year as he is doing his exams when i go in june, and he has plans to get engaged and finally married after he does his national service in 2 years time. im really proud of him but i really want to warn you that most turkish people are really sweet and go out their ways to satisfy u, but some are quite dodgy, a few men (around mid 30s) kept trying to look down my sisters top and up her skirt, and shes only 12 i mean this is repulsive, but i dont have anything against the place, its amazine and i love it there. good luck to all the girls who have there long distance relationships and i hpe all goes well, but please please be careful. Luv mandz XXXXX

well... sorry for the ppl who ended their happy times... but sick ppl is everywhere not in south side of my lovely country... i am too againts to nationalize this occasion! and even you know that those do this only visa or another why you give pay attention to them? this must be a topic for the psychologist eh?

you all know about the social-economic status about Turkey and whats going on the south part... and you ARE giving role to play players.. but after hurting you are talking... this is just not fair... to blame just the opposite site... and we have a proverd "there will be no smoke, where is no fire." put it to your minds...

and i have a question to the member who wrote a long long text... why he learns russian?? if he is a philosopher wouldnt it be better to learn latin or greek? or french?
a paradox?
i just dont see those personalized... distance relationships are ofcourse hard things to handle... but some ppl come over it... how they do? ask them...

hi everyone, i would just like to say that i am in a turkish/english relationship, and we have managed to overcome many difficulties; distance and cultural differences to name a few. but now, four and a half years on, our relationship is quite strong. so if you really want to be together, it is possible!

i am really happy that mandy wrote her comment, I wish more people would advise people of this reality. Especially on here where there are so many youngish girls in love with Turkish men. It is something that happens a LOT, and it is not something that just happens in the South as someone else pointed out. It's all over Turkey. Also I'm happy the last person said about their relationship working out, because obviously there are lovely genuine guys there too. But just as there is such a big problem of it, be careful and don't be naive. However I do hope things work out for Lauz cus she is cool.

People live for what they want and what they need. The reason i mentioned about the south is because the places you know and see 2-3 times of a year time is there. and this reality is common for all over the world.. why do you mention about Turkish Men in that way.. as they are the creatures which will be topic to "X-Files"... :S

btw.. you are also married to a Turkish Man its really surprising that you are talking about this like a dissease.. yeah always told... and i am telling it..
its really easy to see only the bad sides...

i feel sorry for those who end up their relationship coz of the distance problem.My marriage is Asian and Turkish,i knew my hubby through internet and we online dating almost 2 year then only we meet each other in real.Yes,distance is hard to maintain a relationship but i believe if the love is true and strong,there is no reason can stop the love.The main things to remain the love is TRUST,without this,u cant overcome every problems.
Hope evryone out there can find their true love.

Hi everybody

I think that turkish guys as no other guy in different contries of the world can make a girl or a woman to feel very important. Their attitude is a very good one, they are so hospital, sweet and they are so careful towards women.
As a result as a woman falls in love with the wonderful contry, ancient culture, phonetic language, beautiful songs, delicious food, hospitality most likely can happen that she will fall in love with a handsome turkish guys.

A women must know what she needs, a man to pass the holidays or a man for her life. I think that the guys are smart enough to understand what the girls or women needs, and they are so willing or predisposed to give them all they need. And I personally think that:

"You will be loved as much as you love".
Anyway I respect and understand the feelings of all the persons involved.

Joke of the day: Turkish guys are good for a healthy life As i told you it is a joke but we believe in every joke there is at least 10 % seriousness ...

I mention Turkish men especially because we are on a Turkish class site and this is what the subject is. I am married to a Turkish man and he's wonderful and he's my best friend and we have had a great marriage for four years. However I am very aware of the problem of Turkish boys, and I know a lot of girls who get really hurt from it.

well thats my turkish boyfriend proposed to me lol, a bit too early, but we will give it a go. the only problem that faces us now is his 2 yrs national service in 2 yrs time. he sent me a huge bouquet of red roses yesterday, 1st class air mail lol and with it he had such a sweet poem and he had made a picture of us through photoshop and we are standing outside a large turkish villa, similar to his parents home and hoding a baby and said that will be us in a few years time, it was so sweet i just had to cry lol XX mandz

I didnt realise I would get so much response.


Thanks for everyone who did reply with their opinion and views.

If things are meant to be, they will be..


therefore if me and my love do work things out in the future whether 2 weeks 2 months or 2 years...

it was meant to be. who knows?

Trust is a problem for us i admit.. but the distance was the top of the list

I agree with SuiGeneris. Most of guys see touristic places as a door to go abroad because its really difficult to get a visa for us. but it s not only for turkey. I think it s the same for other countries, which have economical problems too.

if you want to see, you will see that turkish men are really unique in the world. of course there are some ppl, not really good. I dont think it s difficult to understand one man's real thought. time shows everything. Time will be your medicine. I wish you patience;

if you cant understand why a man with u..why he prefer u...dis is ur problem i think...dont let urself to be used for others aims....and nobody shouldnt complain about dis...bcos dis is ur fault...

enjoy the time you have with the person especially if they make you happy. as they say it is better to of loved and lost as to of never loved at all

True love will always find a way to work.

Sacrifices may have to be made, but if your love is strong enough it is worth it, especially if it means a lifetime of happiness!!

laura.. like i said to you on the phone..

if something such as distance can break up a relationship then surely this tells u that it was never worth it in the 1st place..

again, sorry to be harsh but its just my point of view...

dont let it get u down..

take care

ceyda

xxxx

thanks ceyda. No i understand your view totally. You may be right, it just depends what situation yuo are in i suppose. I really dont know. Thanks for being there. xxx

Mandy i agree with u, i've been in turkey a lot of times and met a lot of people who were jsut liek u said. But we cant generalize the fact that"everyone is liek that" im with my bf in a happy realtionship. I noticed he is different coz he is not a type of tourist turkish guy, he has a really well paid job, can afford what he want,cares for me and visited me last days. We are happy together but the distance is a big pain for us, thats why we are trying to come to eahc otehr as often as its possible.
i love him and my family accept him as my frineds do. If anybody falls in love i wish them a guy liek him, not a guy who ..will promise stars and sky but.. will be not honest and unfortunately will say this to every tourist. One thing is sure, poepel who arent in tourist companny so mcuh are more honest then those who meet them everysec.

since one year i have my relation and is very hard i know ,but we will not give up!

Well!! I liked Damalianta's approach in this subject and also what Mandy says. Yes people need to be carefull everywhere as there will be a person to spend a holiday with and a person to spend your life with. One has to accept the fact that there is a cultural difference between most nations and countries. Even a German/English relation will have difficulties. On the other hand it is a realty that Turkish or smilar counrty men would be seeing a Europen or American woman as a passage to those countries. Most of the time this is the basic fact, so be carefull. There is no offense in this!! I know very long lasting and happy Turkish/English marriages. It takes both parties to tolerate.
Few tips on Turkish guys;
First of all be carefull in the coastal area because the guys you see there are mainly coming from more rural ares of the country and have limited education. For Turkish speaking woman it is very easy to determine their education and social culture level after few sentences they speak.

Because of the way they are brought up, they have the tendancy to score highest number of woman in their sex life!! Since you can not speak the language well you will not be able to judge the education and culture level of the person. Do not let their outlook and behaviour fool you at that spot. Turkish man are very posesive and conservative!!

Enjoy your time there and do not get tied up much, before you realy get to know the person. Otherwise you will regret it!! Do not forget that the foreign woman seen as easy and free for sex!! No responsibilities since your father or brother would not be coming after them to beat them up or ask them to get married to you!!

Finlay; ofcourse there are very nice man out there but as everywhere you need to look verycarefully to spot them and it takes patience.

Good luck!!

I read that topic very carefuly and there were nice ideas and
feelings about realitionships..Everybody was sincerely...

Uzaklık öldürür,aşk kalır.

The problem i think is this, tourists come to places like Turkey with money - which seems like a lot of money to others. However what people dont realise is that someone had to work hard for that money maybe for 2 months maybe a year to be able to go away and have a nice holiday. This is mis-read and is sometimes seen as though english, or any other nationality has 'a lot' of money. But in a lot of cases they dont.

England i think has ben mis-interpreted and infact many of us are no better off than the next person. My husband now has a totally different view of england from what he did, but thats because he has seen it in reality. The grass is never greener and nor should we pretend that it is.

i think most of us looking for happiness from far places or from the another things,but i believe happiness start first on our owns,but thats human nature fars and the things which couldn't touch always charming to we humans,and not easy to understand why?

mr your like a wise old owl

hehe,ty Jilly,u r very kind as always

Hmmm...after a lot of experience..I'm sorry to say that..I came to conclusion ... most Turkish men are unfaithful to their partners and most partners doesn't even have any clue about it..and interesting thing is Turkish men do think it is OK to have an affair as long as the partner doesn't know about it..it is a kind of a culture and seems natural as well..hand on hart guys..how many of you can say"I am faithful to my partner, or I was always faitful to my partner.."...I know I am being very harsh here...but as I said I had alot of experience and research...

differences really nice,but to find common points in differences nicer,i think all the people have to beaheve as an succesfull foreign minister personally for creat a wonderfull world and for to be 1 on 2

Actually, I do feel European! I wonder what it feels like to be Dutch and I wonder if I feel that or not? :-S This may sound weird, but I never had this really Dutch feeling.
But I can say I feel quite European.. I'm western, thinking quite free, but can also identify me with the somewhat more stronger morals and intense emotions of the more eastern 'warm blooded' parts of Europe. Also, I've been to quite a lot of European countries and I like Europe as itself.

But these words I just typed sound a bit weird and empty.. it's too late for me to think clearly! Goodnight everybody

I read all the posts and sorry did not understand this Europian part.I feel Europian even live in America for 20 years.
OOOOOO, do not know maybe hot weather made thinking process slow , have to digest all you said here and maybe can come to conclusion then. See you soon, guys.
HomeSick, this is for you and your lovely wife
Don't let them get dry till she'll come home.

Hey you guys
I understand that a long distance relationship can be hard but you two could work past it and make this relationship last if you really tried. I know that it means you can't see each other on a daily or weekly or even monthy basis, bt that doesn't mean you should give up. Half the time I spend my time at home talking to my friends on the internet and I end up seing them on rare occasions. But just we always talk online doesn't mean we don't have a close bond. You can work it out. Just stick to it and stregthen your love through regular chats. That way, we you do meet up, it'll make the time you have with each other all the more special and cherished. And wouldn't you want that more than seeing each other regularly to the poiunt where your bored and don't aprreciate your time together? Just consider it. I hope it works out for you!

HI ALL
IM IN A ENGLISH /TURKISH RELATIONSHIP & HAVE BEEN FOR NEARLY 9 YEARS . I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR SIX years tomorrow 3rd july . it has not been easy having a long distance relationship but if you love each other it will & can work if you want it too
im must warn the young girls not ones who just go to turkey all over the world guys can be very charming please be really careful they do just want visas but some are really genuine im proof of that i wish all english /turkish relationship all the best stick at it . it will all be worth it in the end

Hi all,
I have just read everyone's reply on this subject, I firstly think it is a very good post to write and I will try and explain my view on this subject. For me it is the oppostite I am in a realtionship with a Turkish lady for me distance will not come up as a problem, I do not want to go there! of course in reality it can be but I think people put too much pressure on themselves when mentioning distance, I would hope that the people on here who have the worry on distance would work it out especially if there is a true and genuine love and bond between two people that distance is a small problem only. I have just visited my loved one in Istanbul after nearly a year through the internet chatting and building up a relationship and the meeting was something I will never forget in my life it holds such already magical memories for me. I was a single guy have a reasonable job home and social life but had that one special person missing, I went on dating agencies looking for a perfect partner, I am very outgoing not too shy and very chatty and confident person but wanted to meet a lady in my life so much after living single life for nearly three years. I got chatting to a lady from Istanbul on a chat line and at first it was just like meeting a new friend to where I am today very happy and the happiness has come from Nesrin she made it possible to have such a feeling of happiness.

I believe in life you only have one real chance to be happy and in love, I really believe that there is a soulmate somewhere for everyone, of course you have to find her/him which is not always the easy part. I think in life it is too short if you have a chance a real chance to be happy grab it, I have never thought about the distance being a problem I am very happy to visit Turkey as much as I can to see her if it works out then move to Istanbul then why not, not have this obstacle in the way life is too short I am very much a person who will take the extra strains and worries on board and hit them down with a puff of smoke. I have never loved a woman like I do Nesrin you can feel only true love maybe once or twice for me I never have been in love, had girlfriend's but never could exactly say 'I was in love' until now of course, for all those people who have loved ones Turkish man or woman then take this chance I am!

relatioships can fail anywhere its not specifically generic to one culture, really its down to two people whatever nationality , race or creed

Distance is hard... it is true but relationships are never easy.
But when you find a very important person, when there is chemestry, loyalty, honestly and a real feeling no matter the distance it is nice knowing that there is a person in this world that can love you just as you are, that likes you, that respects you and wanna be next to you.
It is hard not having this beloved person in some moments, namely is hard not having the physic person but if there is love and it is a solid relation this person will be always next to you with mind and heart.
God and life gives us lot of challanges but when we can win we have a nice gift.
Relationships need intelligence too... we use to act only with heart but we must act with our mind too.. we must be smarts, clevers for not losing what we really want.
Love is never easy, distance is hard but when love is true no matter anything you will be next to the person you love.. today or tomorrow it will happen and there will not be distance anymore

I met A turkish man over at a group, and began communicating over messenger. He is much younger than I. That bother's me considerably, as he is Poor Musician, I makes very little money. Though, I clearly told him, I'm a poor american, it hasn't deterred him the least. I think perhaps poor by our standards, may seem rich by their's. I haven't been to Turkey, and America is long ways off, If I lived in England, I'd already visited and found out in flesh. For now, we've spent over a year on computer. He says, "He doesn't care about money, he wants my love" and I make him happy. We both are spiritual, deep, and sensitive

He began taking English classes to talk to me.I began turkish classes to talk to him. I admit, I've been suspicious regarding the "Green Card" but, I've told him Americans are "Crazy". Personally, I've always preferred foreign men, as they seem more mature. Originally he wanted me to come to Turkey. A trip I'd have to finance. That I can't swing, as obligations here at home. Nobody to babysit my house & pets while I go wandering abroad, though, I'd love the experience. Traveling alone over seas a bit "Scary" especially during these troubling difficult times. Its hard to believe he'd go to computer cafe everynight for somebody who doesn't even promise that they will come in a year. He sounds so sincere. I really have good communication with him. Feel love even over computer. That is rare. As never felt computer type relationships would become so close. But, it has. Yet, I don't see anyway we can be together. We both own houses. I don't want to give mine up, he has offered to sell his. Yeah, Marriage, & visa to USA. I told him why America, that Americans are nuts. SMILE. But, this made me suspicious about the green card deal. I don't even knows the rules of how it works?

Willingness to sell his own house sounds like considerable sacrifice. I'm less willing to make a sacrifice. As I'm older than him, and had enough disappointments in Love. Yet, I went and did it again!

Rather of not we do get together in future, our love is helping each other at a distance, I feel. Love is beautiful. Astara999

whether mediterannean hot blooded men (as mentioned in the forum) cannot be more faithful than north european men or not i dont know. I can accept that they are more cunning and mischievous and tend to act and behave in ways that can be misinterpreted and totally confuse foreign women ,but so are we (med women). the point is mentalities differ so much you cant even start to imagine...if both people in a relationship like this dont make sacrifices and listen closely to each other, they are doomed to fail, divorce or at best trapped in an unhappy marriage. at the end of tha day noone can escape their genes and the way by which s/he was brought up.
i lived in england for 5 years,
my humble opinion is being in a situation/relationship like this is like you being the fish out of water.

Again , Love can move mountains

But knowing the strong ties in the Türkler Ailesi,so what is the families reactions to marriage to a foreigner,how do they accept it ?
And does it make any difference if it was the daughter or the son ?or both are the same ?

_canli if you are referring to me, i am not in a position to answer this question, cos i am not turkish. I was just surfing the net and came across this forum and thought to write my opinion. I am greek girl and reading through the forum i saw greek men mentioned somewhere so i thought to have a say here. family ties are very strong in turkey as they used to be in greece lets say 50-70 years ago. parents used to be extremely influential on children especially daughters. marriage to a foreigner wasnt accepted so easily especialy for sons because parents wanted to be sure that their sons and daughters will be married to a "good" according to their standards and society's standards person. there were times when children didnt even like the person they were marrying (i am referring to arranged marriages) daughters used to suffer moslty from arranged marriages cos they werent powerful (socially financially) etc enough to say no or lead their own lives. also parents wanted to have thei children close to them even after marriage, live together with them with grandchildren and daughters in law usually as it was the girls that had to move with their husband to his house (although this wasnt always the case).now you can imagine marrying to a foreigner would take all this according to them happiness away. also parents didnt want their sons to marry foreign women cos they used to think that foreign women werent as good as theirs in many ways. so to answer your question they didnt want their sons to marry a foreigner but they lets say accept more easily their daughter to marry a foreigner because it was the womans morality that mattered more not the mans.

although i am young and havent lived these situations in my country, i know all these by what my grandparents used to say and believe. you can still see relics of these mentalities in modern greek society especially in rural areas but they a lot lot changed transformed and faded.

hope this answered your question somehow.

now lets face it and it is unfortunately the unfortunate truth that
societies where women are liberated emotionally and financially,
free to choose
free to live however the like lead their own lives tend to
be seen by other cultures where women are a bit or a
lot submissive in a different and weird way which might sound and seem
unfair and outrageous. but it is all logical and perfectly normal to them.

in plain words those women are the "easy" not-good, the other ones are the good.

sheer unfairness if you ask me. for example i can still hear older women like in their 70s
to judge and attack the younger ones in their 20s. saying things like "oh women have changed
oh todays girls are so easy sleeping around with any man they like" " my poor grandson!!!! how is
he going to find any one to marry?" because she sees her grandson as a saint no matter what and
the young girls as something..... i dont even want to write the word

but there is a paradox here i could never accept myself. although the foreign women were
seen as not good in some ways, they were seen as good in some others. thats why many men
tended to run after them and try to have relationships with them or even marry them.


be it human-male shelfishness in its absolute glory, be it being fed up with those tiring and
suffocating donts and shoulds, foreign women wont press or oppress their husbands or boyfriends as
local will. they wont try to manipulate them into marrying them, into trying to control them by
those special cunning ways that women have learned through centuries in order to survive. with
modern women they will experince love and live wonderful moments without having them spoiled
by her, her parents, her relatives, even society pressing him to marry or even chasing him
like hell to find him and "beat the hell out of him"

another even more disgusting paradoxical thing that men
used to do is that "being fed up with those suffocating social moralities" (which come to think of it were made by men) they used to moan
and critisize their women to foreign ones "oh our women are so manipulating, oh i cant stand it anymore,
all they want is marriage all they want is marry a man with a good job and money, all they want is
to have us under their control". blah blah blah. and i am sure that to some extend they meant it.
but at the end, they would see that they wouldnt control the other women as theirs, other women had
their own liberated personality and their own opinions expressed loudly and fearlessly, they wouldnt say
yes to every whim and desire of theirs. so the solution was easy.....and apparent.... lets go back to our own
women. lets hide behind the "security" that our women give to us.....

now all these do not apply to all men, but i was talking about mentalities which no matter how a man tries to escape them
they will haunting him all the time... now with women and foreign men... this is another different story

hoped i ve been helpful and you liked the analysis.

dear grCherry,
it was my pleasure to read ur posts! nicely put!
thank u!

LauzBrownEyedBe
What is your situation now? I was so sorry to see what you wrote on this that your relationship has ended because of the distance. I have never thought about the distance it is just something that does not matter to me, when two people meet and fall in love in two different countries in the world then if the love and feeling is strong then alot of the barriers can be broken. I cannot state my feelings so strongly that 'life is too short' you have to grab this chance it may never come back as in my life I think this is true. When two people are in true love you will be amazed at just how far you will go to be together, for me it is the hardest decision I will ever make in my life to move from my country to be with my loved one, but not one I am going to think for years over and not decide, time and life is going by you need to just live the present day, my life has been so greatly improved since I met Nesrin and the distance is not going to get in the way I will not let it. My opinion is grab it with both hands hold it tight and live it now not regret it later because you may not ever get this chance again. I read somewhere that you only really have one chance in life to meet the special person, you can have girlfriend's/boyfriends but only one person is that special person I really believe this also. Please take care

Comment from a Canadian woman loving a Turkish man...

It IS hard... the distance, in the beginning, seemed impossible to overcome. However, if you truly love someone, ANY difficulty CAN be overcome...

The people who developed the Internet, MSN Messenger, web cams, microphones, cell phones, etc., etc. have my heartfelt gratitude!

I have just joined this website and I have to say I was so happy to see that there are others in the same situation that I am in and have made it work. I am an American living in the state of Pennsylvania in the USA and I have already visited my boyfriend in Turkey twice and have my airline tickets for a visit in December. We met in America and over time the relationship grew. Then he had to return to Turkey and I really didn't know if we would continue to talk or if I would accept his invitation to visit him. So like Loveprague said you have to take a chance. I did and I am so happy I did. That first visit was one of the best times in my life.

I can definitely relate to astara999,my boyfriend is younger than me too and we travel about the same distance. I hope that the relationship that I have with my boyfriend is one that can stand the test of time. I feel that it is. I also trust him. I really don't believe that he would cheat. I may be totally naive, but I feel that he loves me and will wait. It really is hard being apart from the one that you truly love. There are definitely days that I just start to cry because I miss him so much and don't think I can stand the distance anymore. It always seems that when it gets that bad, that is when he will email me or call me. It is good to know that other people are experiencing the same thing. Thank you for letting me talk.

I am in this situation.
I am in UK my fiance in Turkey.
Somedays it feels like my heart is breaking so much... It feels like someone is ripping it from my body.
I could cry for days and days I miss him so much... and my fiance feels exactly the same.... tears on webcam occur quite frequently.
However, I agree, if the love you have for each other is so strong... then it will stand the test of time.... I HAVE NO DOUBT THERE.
You are the best judge of your feelings... If you can trust your other half.... you can see when they look at you, just how much they love you... and vice versa.
The love we have for each other is nothing I have experienced before. It is so intense...
We know what each other is thinking ... we even say things at the same time.... soooooo spooky !!!
Im a true believer of fate... some things are meant to be.
AND WE WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER.... WHAT DOES DISTANCE MATTER!!!!!! Different country!.... who cares? At least it's not a different planet
We are both humans who have fallen in love ... and ... some day... very soon in our future... we will be married and LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.......

Thank you Carla.

I could not have put it better myself....



JOANNE
XXXXXX

I am also in a English/Turkish relationship. When I was stationed in Turkey, I met a turkish lady. I too had my suspicions why she was interested in me. Was it just for a VISA? I have come to find out NO - it isn't. As she has asked me to leave America and come live with her in Turkey. I also have found that she doesn't want to marry a turkish man as there isn't much respect. Turkish women are raised to pretty much accept everything the turkish man does. I value the fact that she knows that I will equally respect her and her family. I plan on returning later this year or early next to marry -

Love happens - and it can be very beautiful.

BTW - I really look forward to living in Turkey - as I am ready to leave America -

Turkey is a Very Beautiful Country -

life is not a game and we have a short life. we cant know when will we leave this world maybe now or tomorrow. we must take it seriously. Love once and forever.

I had a serious realtionship with a foreign girl few years ago (Im turkish).our relationship took along time.but then she had to go to her country and she insisted from me to move her country but I didnt accepted coz I was at the middle of my master's education I said her to wait but everything went bad and our relationship finished coz of distance.money and spending time together are so important to countinue this kind of relationship.you should visit her/hm often and you should not be jelaous
now I think that ı did right coz she could say good bye to me after she wanna have her own life.so if you do so many thing to live with her/him you should think so much...coz it can be really difficult to start again whe you lose her/his..

I had a serious realtionship with a foreign girl few years ago (Im turkish).our relationship took along time.but then she had to go to her country and she insisted from me to move her country but I didnt accepted coz I was at the middle of my master's education I said her to wait but everything went bad and our relationship finished coz of distance.money and spending time together are so important to countinue this kind of relationship.you should visit her/hm often and you should not be jelaous
now I think that ı did right coz she could say good bye to me after she wanna have her own life.so if you do so many thing to live with her/him you should think so much...coz it can be really difficult to start again whe you lose her/his..

well...it is hard for both sides i think..but then again my hubby is here in england with me..not in turkey
BUT YES I DO SOMETIMES question his motives...because of stories i read..but i do agreee that some women's stupidity plays a part in this..hello if u have only known him for a few days how can he love u??!! obviously he doesnt!!! with my hubby he is sometimes he is an idiot and other times he is nice just like men everywhere it si not country specific i think..therefore the moral of the story is..it is not turkish-english relationships but more like whether or not u actually know the person that u are supposedly in love with
if u r gullible enough to fall for players lines..this will happen anywhere in the world and is no different than a man from your own country trying to make u think that he loves u just 2 have sex with u,,
Ending on a high note however,I have come close to death twice this year..and hubby proved his weight in gold any day of the year

yes ,it is true but many turkish guy having relationship with ohers to have a visa and accommadation in Eu.when they have reached it ,then they left them,I have heard these so many times and it is not good for other turkish who love his girl.

our relationship may be false but she was so unhappy when I said her goodbye and she tried to go back and start again but I have never gone back ,look at forward all the time.
in that time she used to love me so much and she was right she wanted me with her.I have never accused of her.but I have think that if she says me goodbye,I would loose so many things in turkey...I just wanted her when everything is alright..but it didnt worked...I did so many things in turkey and EU after our relationship ended.I think she would proud of me if she knows them.

I am amazed that this topic has actually been running continuously since January. It is nice that people can share opinions and views on their apporaches to relationships.


If anyone is curious what happened... well put it this way, everything happens for a reason and the reason we ended was a good reason. I now am a happier person, of course having fun with my life and still.. he never put me off turkey. We cut our contact and only have spoke once since we ended... maybe 2 months ago on msn where he said, 'i miss speaking with you laura.' It was nothing I took to heart because it was his own loss in the first place... and now I realise it wasn't the relationship I hoped for.

The sad thing is, one of my friends is in the same situation I was this time 8 months ago.. but she cannot realise the bad side of things. She already split up with one turkish boy.. and went to another.. and 2 months at a time went to see him. I am happy for her of course if things work out.. but deep down I feel he is not a trustworthy man, I know him and I know his capabilites, especially as he is best friends with my ex.

Lastly, I have just come back from turkey for the first time since my relationship ended with Musti. I was a bit upset at first to think I wouldnt see him but soon enough I made new friends.. turkish.. georgian.. etc.. and I realised there are plently more '' 'turks' in the sea.'' hehe I am only joking but yeh.. I definitely realised that when our relationship ended.. it was defnitely the best thing for me.

laura, that is so good to hear. i think that is the only thing that we can really do once a relationship ends... move on.

i hope things work out for you.

hey people,a friend of me used to say that many foreign girls are fall in love with Turkey not for our guys?do u think so?

I really did not want to reply to this subject. I can only say that many English women in Side, I know. They think tey are married to Turkish men and then, without warning they are out on the street with any daughters. Sons are special and stay with Babağım.

My friend ibo told me that if a Turkish man marries a foreigner then the family will disown him ....unless it is a scam to get money.

Time and time my friend s in Side have had to help women to rebuild their lives. Having said all of this my friend Anna Maria is married to Hyri and they seem to be happy and are in England but Hyri thinks A M not to be a good wife because she goes out on her own at night.

In conclusion perhap s there are differences that are dictated by culture and we can't change what is ingrained in our minds from childhood.

Jo-Anne
P.S. Older ladies .....please don't part with any money you cant afford as some Turkish men are so poor that they may be too tempted.

Wow, this is all very interesting, much positive and negative regarding turkish men... i have met only one online... he is rather charming.. hence, why I am here. However, he doesn't claim to be poor or in need of money, and in actuality owns his own gallary... this was confirmed by his cousin without my asking, as well as having seen pictures. I have only talked to him a few times, but we seem to have a connection of sorts. However, he was recently in an automobile accident, and had been in the hospital for a few weeks... I am eagerly awaiting his recovery so that I can talk to him again.

He states that his parents died in a car accident, so I don't suppose there would be any issue with his family... however i don't plan to run to turkey to meet him yet. In fact, he has already offered to come here on his own... interestingly.

I have done quite a bit of research on Turkey since meeting him, and honestly i can say I have fallen in love with the country. It is beautiful, and the culture is one to be highly regarded.

I am just wondering, if anyone supposes there would be alterior motive here. If he has his own money, then I am presuming a visa would not be an issue, thus no need for my help in that regard...

He seems very romantic, as I have read, most Turkish men are.. very sweet.

Hi Friends,

Talking about long distance relations - that too with a Turk. Who could know this better than me? I am a married woman. Yet I love this man, who is also married. We met on the net in the year 2001. Till now we have not met in person. Yet we continue to be madly in love with each other. He has said he will come to me soon. This word 'soon' I have been hearing after one year of our friendship. Somehow for some reasons he could not make it till now but I continue to believe and trust him. Sometimes I have my doubts then I stop being in touch. However, from his side he has never allowed this to happen and calls me if he does not find me online. Tell me friends, would this man be so full of me if he was playing a game? I dont think so. Hence I would not like to generalise that one should be careful of Turkish guys. This is untrue. One should just be careful of one's inner self and one's inner confidence. Men & lovers are the same all over the world. I would not like Turkish men to be thought of as tricky and cunning. They are just God's creation (like any other men from any other country) and should be looked upon in the same way.

cheers !

Jessica

I think you cannot make a difference in nationality about good or bad men and women. Every country has its nice people and its creeps. "My" Turkish ex-boyfriend happen to be the latter, though I thought he was in love because of his efforts to see me. That does not mean all Turkish guys are creeps. Some men are players and some women like that, again it does not mean they are all like that.

I've read a lot of stories about long-distance relationships, some that last now already seven years or longer; some ending up in marriage and living in Turkey or in the country of the spouse.

The only thing I can say: keep your feet on the ground even though clouds are fun to be in.

Its ashame you can never really tell who are the genuine ones and who are the fakes.

hi umm well lots of people no about me on here and now we back together its great and sometimes there are horrible people that just want visa but i no for a fact that mine doesnt cos he wants to stay in cyprus so i will go there but i saw a message saying if you really love them then it will work well yes thats is really true it worked for me so it can work for anyone

Then I am happy for you ...... my parents are certain I will marry a turkish man haha! Those poor English ones?

YOU FOREIGNER LADIES COMING TURKEY FOR HOLIDAY! YOU ONLY MEET TURKISH MEN IN THE STREET ,DISCO, HOTEL OR AT THE BEACH. MOST OF THEM ARE ONLY POOR MEN WHO WORKS FOR ONLY THE MONEY ABOUT 250 OR 300$. THEY SPEAK LITTLE BIT FOREIGN LANGUAGE, THEY MOSTLY KNOW HOW TO SAY "I LOVE YOU" AND THE MONEY WHEN THEY ARE TRYING TO SELL YOU SOMETHING. OUR CULTURE IS DIFFERENT, MEN ALWAYS PAY THE BILL, THIS IS NORMAL FOR OUR TRADITIONS, BUT IT IS UNUSUAL FOR YOU. AND THEN FEW PAMPERING WORDS AND THEN YOU MAY SPEND THE NIGHT WITH THAT MEN, WE HEAR A BELLBOY IN A HOTEL OR A WAITER IN A DISCO TAKES DIFFERENT FOREIGNER GIRL EVERY NIGHT(ESPECIALLY IN SUMMER SEASON). YOU GIVE THEM WHAT YOU WANT. THEY CAN NEVER FIND A TURKISH WOMAN FOR IT EVERYNIGHT. IF YOU LIKE HIM HE LIKES YOU TOO, AND WANTS MORE, IT AS A TICKET FOR "DREAM LIFE!", IF HE MARRIES TO A FOREIGNER WOMAN THEN HE CAN LIVE IN OTHER COUNTRY, DUE TO THIS MANY COUNTRIES MADE RULES MORE STRICT. AND IF YOU FLIRT BUT DONT GO TO BED WITH THEM, THE NEXT DAY A NEWS APPEAR ON NEWSPAPER, "A TOURIST RAPED IN ...

I VISITED GERMANY FOR SEVERAL TIMES IN LAST 8 YEARS TO VISIT MY RELATIVES. MY AUNT LIVING IN GERMANY TALKED ABOUT A NEIGHBOUR STRANGE STORY OF HER. SHE WAS A GERMAN LADY SPENDING HER HOLIDAYS IN DIFFERENT COUNTRIES, AND SHE COLLECTED THE SEEDS FROM THERE AND NOW SHE HAS THE FRUITS." SHE HAS 5 CHILDREN FROM DIFFERENT COUNTRIES AND SHE EVEN DOESNT KNOW WHO ARE THE "FATHERS". ONE OF CHILDREN WAS A NEGRO, ONE WAS FROM EGYPT ORIGIN, ONE WAS FROM TURKISH, AND SO ON! THIS WAS JUST A STORY, BUT YOU MAY CONSIDER TURKISH MEN AS THE GERMAN WOMAN IN THIS STORY.

BE CAREFUL. PLEASE! EVEN THOUGH IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A HOLIDAY STORY OR ONE NIGHT STAND, BE CAREFUL. IF NOT, YOU CANT FIND A GOOD MAN IN THE STREET, IN THE DISCO AND BAR (AS WAITER) OR IN HOTEL AS A BELLBOY, OR A SELLER!

thank god i met mine in the uk where he lived and worked in the same town as i live . we are only apart now because his visa was running out and was between being so we decided he went home spent a couple of months with his family who he hadnt seen for 5 yrs and for me to fly out there ,meet his family make sure everyone was confortable about our relationship , get married and start a new life un the uk when he gets back.
the words " i love you " tumble out of their mouths so easily and their hospitality is second to none , they make you feel like you are the only female that walk this earth and treat you like goddesses i can see how many many young girls are influenced by this,i guess if i were younger so would i .
ive gone off track a bit .long distance relationships are almost impossible unless either of you can visit each other on a very regular basis to keep the fire burning and being apart for too long there is always that element of doubt what is each other up to!
i'd like to think people are honest and if they say they love you they mean it but sometimes these words are just too easy to say.
i only hope the true love relationships are stong enough to overcome the distances between them and if it is then each party will wait for the other if it isnt then one will eventually leave the relationship because its not worth the hastle because not too long to wait before the next coach of tourists come along with new fresh faces !

That is obviously true what you say but for some reason I know girls who have had bad problems with turkish men but they always keep going back..

The thing I noticed on this forum is that it seems to be vastly "English Girl - Turkish Man". Are English men marrying Turkish woman really that rare?
I met my Turkish girlfriend about 18 months ago and she is returning to Turkey as her au pair visa is about expire next month. It's going to be hard work and quite difficult not being able to see her regularly but we love each other and are determined to make it work. Hopefully we can sort out a visa so that she can return in a few months time on a more permanent basis with a view to getting married next year.
Does anyone think I'm being naive about all this, have a view, know of any pitfalls that i've not even thought about or just been through the same thing? Would love to hear some replies.

there is tooo much to read.. but do turkish men cheat a lot??!

Are you talking about m-e-n now or dudus?