Distance is hard... it is true but relationships are never easy.
But when you find a very important person, when there is chemestry, loyalty, honestly and a real feeling no matter the distance it is nice knowing that there is a person in this world that can love you just as you are, that likes you, that respects you and wanna be next to you.
It is hard not having this beloved person in some moments, namely is hard not having the physic person but if there is love and it is a solid relation this person will be always next to you with mind and heart.
God and life gives us lot of challanges but when we can win we have a nice gift.
Relationships need intelligence too... we use to act only with heart but we must act with our mind too.. we must be smarts, clevers for not losing what we really want.
Love is never easy, distance is hard but when love is true no matter anything you will be next to the person you love.. today or tomorrow it will happen and there will not be distance anymore

I met A turkish man over at a group, and began communicating over messenger. He is much younger than I. That bother's me considerably, as he is Poor Musician, I makes very little money. Though, I clearly told him, I'm a poor american, it hasn't deterred him the least. I think perhaps poor by our standards, may seem rich by their's. I haven't been to Turkey, and America is long ways off, If I lived in England, I'd already visited and found out in flesh. For now, we've spent over a year on computer. He says, "He doesn't care about money, he wants my love" and I make him happy. We both are spiritual, deep, and sensitive

He began taking English classes to talk to me.I began turkish classes to talk to him. I admit, I've been suspicious regarding the "Green Card" but, I've told him Americans are "Crazy". Personally, I've always preferred foreign men, as they seem more mature. Originally he wanted me to come to Turkey. A trip I'd have to finance. That I can't swing, as obligations here at home. Nobody to babysit my house & pets while I go wandering abroad, though, I'd love the experience. Traveling alone over seas a bit "Scary" especially during these troubling difficult times. Its hard to believe he'd go to computer cafe everynight for somebody who doesn't even promise that they will come in a year. He sounds so sincere. I really have good communication with him. Feel love even over computer. That is rare. As never felt computer type relationships would become so close. But, it has. Yet, I don't see anyway we can be together. We both own houses. I don't want to give mine up, he has offered to sell his. Yeah, Marriage, & visa to USA. I told him why America, that Americans are nuts. SMILE. But, this made me suspicious about the green card deal. I don't even knows the rules of how it works?

Willingness to sell his own house sounds like considerable sacrifice. I'm less willing to make a sacrifice. As I'm older than him, and had enough disappointments in Love. Yet, I went and did it again!

Rather of not we do get together in future, our love is helping each other at a distance, I feel. Love is beautiful. Astara999

whether mediterannean hot blooded men (as mentioned in the forum) cannot be more faithful than north european men or not i dont know. I can accept that they are more cunning and mischievous and tend to act and behave in ways that can be misinterpreted and totally confuse foreign women ,but so are we (med women). the point is mentalities differ so much you cant even start to imagine...if both people in a relationship like this dont make sacrifices and listen closely to each other, they are doomed to fail, divorce or at best trapped in an unhappy marriage. at the end of tha day noone can escape their genes and the way by which s/he was brought up.
i lived in england for 5 years,
my humble opinion is being in a situation/relationship like this is like you being the fish out of water.

Again , Love can move mountains

But knowing the strong ties in the Türkler Ailesi,so what is the families reactions to marriage to a foreigner,how do they accept it ?
And does it make any difference if it was the daughter or the son ?or both are the same ?

_canli if you are referring to me, i am not in a position to answer this question, cos i am not turkish. I was just surfing the net and came across this forum and thought to write my opinion. I am greek girl and reading through the forum i saw greek men mentioned somewhere so i thought to have a say here. family ties are very strong in turkey as they used to be in greece lets say 50-70 years ago. parents used to be extremely influential on children especially daughters. marriage to a foreigner wasnt accepted so easily especialy for sons because parents wanted to be sure that their sons and daughters will be married to a "good" according to their standards and society's standards person. there were times when children didnt even like the person they were marrying (i am referring to arranged marriages) daughters used to suffer moslty from arranged marriages cos they werent powerful (socially financially) etc enough to say no or lead their own lives. also parents wanted to have thei children close to them even after marriage, live together with them with grandchildren and daughters in law usually as it was the girls that had to move with their husband to his house (although this wasnt always the case).now you can imagine marrying to a foreigner would take all this according to them happiness away. also parents didnt want their sons to marry foreign women cos they used to think that foreign women werent as good as theirs in many ways. so to answer your question they didnt want their sons to marry a foreigner but they lets say accept more easily their daughter to marry a foreigner because it was the womans morality that mattered more not the mans.

although i am young and havent lived these situations in my country, i know all these by what my grandparents used to say and believe. you can still see relics of these mentalities in modern greek society especially in rural areas but they a lot lot changed transformed and faded.

hope this answered your question somehow.

now lets face it and it is unfortunately the unfortunate truth that
societies where women are liberated emotionally and financially,
free to choose
free to live however the like lead their own lives tend to
be seen by other cultures where women are a bit or a
lot submissive in a different and weird way which might sound and seem
unfair and outrageous. but it is all logical and perfectly normal to them.

in plain words those women are the "easy" not-good, the other ones are the good.

sheer unfairness if you ask me. for example i can still hear older women like in their 70s
to judge and attack the younger ones in their 20s. saying things like "oh women have changed
oh todays girls are so easy sleeping around with any man they like" " my poor grandson!!!! how is
he going to find any one to marry?" because she sees her grandson as a saint no matter what and
the young girls as something..... i dont even want to write the word

but there is a paradox here i could never accept myself. although the foreign women were
seen as not good in some ways, they were seen as good in some others. thats why many men
tended to run after them and try to have relationships with them or even marry them.


be it human-male shelfishness in its absolute glory, be it being fed up with those tiring and
suffocating donts and shoulds, foreign women wont press or oppress their husbands or boyfriends as
local will. they wont try to manipulate them into marrying them, into trying to control them by
those special cunning ways that women have learned through centuries in order to survive. with
modern women they will experince love and live wonderful moments without having them spoiled
by her, her parents, her relatives, even society pressing him to marry or even chasing him
like hell to find him and "beat the hell out of him"

another even more disgusting paradoxical thing that men
used to do is that "being fed up with those suffocating social moralities" (which come to think of it were made by men) they used to moan
and critisize their women to foreign ones "oh our women are so manipulating, oh i cant stand it anymore,
all they want is marriage all they want is marry a man with a good job and money, all they want is
to have us under their control". blah blah blah. and i am sure that to some extend they meant it.
but at the end, they would see that they wouldnt control the other women as theirs, other women had
their own liberated personality and their own opinions expressed loudly and fearlessly, they wouldnt say
yes to every whim and desire of theirs. so the solution was easy.....and apparent.... lets go back to our own
women. lets hide behind the "security" that our women give to us.....

now all these do not apply to all men, but i was talking about mentalities which no matter how a man tries to escape them
they will haunting him all the time... now with women and foreign men... this is another different story

hoped i ve been helpful and you liked the analysis.

dear grCherry,
it was my pleasure to read ur posts! nicely put!
thank u!

LauzBrownEyedBe
What is your situation now? I was so sorry to see what you wrote on this that your relationship has ended because of the distance. I have never thought about the distance it is just something that does not matter to me, when two people meet and fall in love in two different countries in the world then if the love and feeling is strong then alot of the barriers can be broken. I cannot state my feelings so strongly that 'life is too short' you have to grab this chance it may never come back as in my life I think this is true. When two people are in true love you will be amazed at just how far you will go to be together, for me it is the hardest decision I will ever make in my life to move from my country to be with my loved one, but not one I am going to think for years over and not decide, time and life is going by you need to just live the present day, my life has been so greatly improved since I met Nesrin and the distance is not going to get in the way I will not let it. My opinion is grab it with both hands hold it tight and live it now not regret it later because you may not ever get this chance again. I read somewhere that you only really have one chance in life to meet the special person, you can have girlfriend's/boyfriends but only one person is that special person I really believe this also. Please take care