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I don´t understand my Turkish boyfriend
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| 20. |
11 Mar 2009 Wed 07:33 pm |
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Is it a Turkish thing? Or did I fall in love with a jerk?
What difference does it make really? Are you going to complain less or be bothered by it less if you decide it´s a "Turkish" thing?
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| 21. |
11 Mar 2009 Wed 07:36 pm |
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What difference does it make really? Are you going to complain less or be bothered by it less if you decide it´s a "Turkish" thing?
Ha ha. 
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| 22. |
11 Mar 2009 Wed 07:45 pm |
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What difference does it make really? Are you going to complain less or be bothered by it less if you decide it´s a "Turkish" thing?
 if its a turkish thing she will feel better, but if its her fault to fall in love with a total jerk....no need to say more 
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| 23. |
11 Mar 2009 Wed 08:12 pm |
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if its a turkish thing she will feel better, but if its her fault to fall in love with a total jerk....no need to say more
Yeah, maybe. Although, quite often, the total jerks don´t show that side until later ...
She´ll have to ultimately be in this relationship. So whatever the reason, if he doesn´t change, I think she needs to asks herself if his behavior is something she can live with (and be happy) - Turkish or jerk (or both), doesn´t matter.
Edited (3/11/2009) by Melek74
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| 24. |
11 Mar 2009 Wed 08:17 pm |
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I think she needs to asks herself if his behavior is something she can live with (and be happy) - Turkish or jerk (or both), doesn´t matter.
Totally agreed......
There are jerks (both male and female and those in between) in all societies - it is not just a Turkish thing. And it is only the responsibility of an individual to ensure they are happy.
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| 25. |
11 Mar 2009 Wed 09:23 pm |
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Totally agreed......
There are jerks (both male and female and those in between) in all societies -
Interesting...
do you mean flashers,streakers,peeping Toms,fancy men or just castrats,cyclists and squirrels? 
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| 26. |
11 Mar 2009 Wed 09:56 pm |
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I am neither confirming nor denying. Infact, my lips are sealed about this matter..
But you make yourself sound guilty! You know keeping your options open can have backfiring consequences
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| 27. |
12 Mar 2009 Thu 12:07 am |
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Interesting...
do you mean flashers,streakers,peeping Toms,fancy men or just castrats,cyclists and squirrels?
Why so interesting???
Maybe I am unusual in that a large number of my friends are gender neutral - but "those in between" has no negative conotations to me. It seems that you feel otherwise! I really do not understand why you might think of flashers, streakers, etc. 
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| 28. |
28 Mar 2009 Sat 01:44 pm |
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He says he loves me all the time and that I´m beautiful and special and that I am his life. But he doesn´t like to spend his free time with me! I have to beg him to do anything with me. He would rather play cards or backgammon with his friends or on his computer than hang out with me. I never had a boyfriend do this before. Is this a Turkish thing? I don´t get it. He´s not a boy. He´s 35 years old and has his own business. He even asked me to marry him. Why would he want to marry someone he doesn´t like to spend time with?
I asked him why he does this and he says it´s not true, that we do spend time together. I don´t think 2 hours at night in bed correlates to hanging out and sharing experiences. He just doesn´t get it.
I have a friend who is experiencing exactly the same thing. It IS a Turkish thing. all the qouted stuff is EXACTLY what she experiences. She has become virtually isolated, waiting for a phone call, sometimes for days, and then getting all sorts of lame, nonsense excuses, and NEVER knowing what is going on. She´s become property, and doen´t even know it. It´s sad. She´ll be stuck with this for a long time, because a break up will be extremeley difficult, given that she has nowhere else to turn. In fact, the only way I can see her getting out of this is to leave the country. she´s even admitted this herself, but still comes running everytime he says jump. I dont get it. And this has been going on for 1 and a half years. It´s heartbreaking to see someone abused in this way.
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| 29. |
28 Mar 2009 Sat 05:23 pm |
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Totally agreed......
There are jerks (both male and female and those in between) in all societies -
Quote bod
I think she needs to asks herself if his behavior is something she can live with (and be happy) - Turkish or jerk (or both), doesn´t matter.
1000% agreed! They´re here in America too  I don´t think it´s a matter of being Turkish...it´s more a matter of the heart (where their heart is) and maybe how they were raised....
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| 30. |
28 Mar 2009 Sat 09:05 pm |
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Seems I am the only chick here to take a different view on this situation. I don’t see what the big deal is about people in relationships having their own lives and interests. I have never understood the mentality that once you are a couple you have to spend all your time together. If the other person is too clingy, that is a bigger red flag in my opinion.
You HAVE to have your own interests, your own friends, your own life. Whether this is the case here, who knows, but everyone seems to be jumping to the conclusion that this guy is a huge jerk. Clearly there is not enough information in the original post to know.
As for the BF in this situation not teaching this girl Turkish…what was the understanding between you? Did he say he would teach you? Maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable in his teaching skills….I am quite confident in my command of my own language but that does not translate to me being confident enough to teach it to someone else.
Assuming you moved to Turkey (which it sounds like from your post) if anyone chooses to move to a country where they do not know the language then the onus is on them to learn it so that they do not isolate themselves….preferably BEFORE moving.
If you are the kind of person that needs the constant attention from your mate, then clearly this would not be a good relationship and if he has been this way the whole time you have been together and you don’t feel you are getting what you need….what are you waiting for? Leave.
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