I have a question about Turkish culture.I have read in many forums that Western women are viewed differently by Turkish men because of alot of stereotypes that are out there.

How do those views range from cities like Istanbul to cities like Adana? I know that usually in big cities people are usually alot more open and liberal. I ask because I have a Western friend that is a girl that think that her Turkish guy friends view things like women sleeping around or Western things like friends with benefits normally and do not look down on her for doing these things and might marry her but I always thought that it was a more conservative culture then that.

Lets ask turkish guys from this site what do they think about foreign women ?

Yeah, I am just curious and please be honest guys. I know everyone thinks differently but still ....And what do the Turkish girls think?

From my personal experience, the only reason why turkish guys even bother to get involved with a western woman is for a way to get out of their country.  I am married to one who told me that he will rather have a western woman who knows what she wants rather than a turkish woman who is probably marrying him only so she can better herself in life and have someone provide for her.  Now that we are married I can never live up to his expectations and he is trying his damnest to turn me into a turkish woman.  I am feeling like all of the sudden my mission in life is to work and provide, come home clean, cook and serve him.  I thought it was just me, but since it is a large turkish community around me i found out that the rest of the turkish guys treat their wives in the same manner, some a lot worst than mine.  If it was just mine, I will say i was just unlucky, but it does not seem to be the case.  Perhaps they are different in their country, but from what I have seen when I was there it does not seem so. 

Ý understand you Ýrishclove

Well, you will probably get as many different answers as responses.  Yes, many Turkish men view Western women as loose or easy.  It is probably because western women don´t view sex before marriage as a taboo, as many traditional Turkish women do.

I am married to a Turkish man and he seems to be very much like most western men.  We met, fell in love, got married and started a family.  We have problems like everyone else.  Some of them stem from our cultural and religious differences.  However, I have never felt as if he was trying to turn me into a Turkish woman or that he wanted me to be any different.  I think all relationships should be based on mutual respect and tolerance no matter where you are from. 

 You´re from Romania, I lived there for two years when I was a teenager, I even learned how to speak the language.  I have a couple of frineds from this site that I keep in contact with.

 I could not agree more, you nailed it.  You are so lucky, I am almost envious.  I neither had sex with him prior to marriage because i am muslim and that is very taboo in my family, so he cannot accuse me of beinf loose.  I did not need him for his money, all I asked for was his love and respect.  I guess in my case and some of the other ladies I know may be too much.

Firstly foreign women much more open minded and free than Turkish women..Its deal with  our manners and religion and life style..In the end woman is woman everywhere,nothing different..And I am thinking that Turkish men want to be served by women.. It is easy in Turkey but they want also freedom in their private life so its a way to pick up foreign woman especially in holiday resorts...Also my another idea foreign women can be more possesive than Turkish women most of time...

Ý worked for 3 years in Ankara. There people are open minded and wasnt quit a problem for me being a foreigner. But in Ýstanbul is not the same. Ý think all depends on the enviroment you are living.. Some people know nothing but work and looking for women no matter their age

Ý think we all have to thank you for your honest answer. Sad but true.

How are places like Adana? Are they more conservative? Again, I know that alot depends on the person but also I know that some cities can generally be more accepting since they have more outside influence.

Yeah, I think the lifestyle, religious, etc. comment is very true also.

Adana is the 5th big city from Turkey. All Ý can say is that is very conservative and even if you are with somebody men are turning their head after you (not for beauty but for being a woman)

I do agree that Turkish men want to be served by their women. This is the culture that they are brought up in. I did experienced it when I try to make Turkish Tea for my guy and immediately he got up when he sees that I do it wrongly. He taught me step by step and I mastered it. But then, the whole day, I got to stand by the stove to make small cups of tea for him whenever he finishes the cup. But I did forget about it and later burnt the lower kettle... hahaha...

Well from where I am from, making tea is just boiling big pot of water, add tea and put into a air-tight container. Then when we want any, just pour into a cup and drink it. We do not waste time standing by the stove the whole day. Singapore is a fast moving city where everything is to be done instantly, quick & time saving.  

Thinking back now, I wanna laugh... I wondered what will happen if I bring my guy to my world... maybe it will do him some good to experience the culture shock too...  

Also the turkish tea must be fresh all the time

Aferin sana! And im trying for 5 years to convince my people in vain that turkish are not as they think !

 mercan, i havent had the time to send you PM or anything as a warning...and thought my comment here was enough to send the right massage to you !

http://www.turkishclass.com/turkish/forum/forumTitle_41457

So let me also be straight to the point.

TLC is a site which interest in, Turkish langauge, Türkiye, and the cultural that she represt.

We talk about many things also, actually about whatever we want... as long as it follow the rules that WE ´and that includes you´  agree on as a condition to be a member here !

We get along some, we disagree many, but still we try to maintain some high level we like to have here in our forum and our site.

Forum Rules

So, let me welcome you here among us joining us to maintain that level, and...

Comments as the above ones are not welcome really

So pls, avoid such... and thank you.

Thank you Canli. I deleted the vulgar, offensive post.

Even though Adana is a big city, they call it "the largest village in the world", because it is not a modern place. Most people are very conservative.

Istanbul: The big apple of Turkey. Many Turks consider Istanbul as the most beautiful city in the world. The city is quite enermous in size extending about 40 kms on the Asian side thus merging with the town of Gebze originally in the provincial borders of Kocaeli and more 60 kilometer on the European side and is probably beginning to stretch into the borders of Silivri about 67 kilometers from the town center. It has a population of nearly 13 million (as of 2007). Most of this population came to the city during the migration frenzy that took  place roughly between 50´s and 90´s. This effectively inflated the city´s population and placed high demands on the infrastructure designed for much fewer people. Today many of the city´s problems can be linked to this rapid urbanization period (which is still continueing) that has spoiled the natural environment of the city. Istanbul is very beautiful today but most say (including foreign observers), it was a dream city only a century ago.

If you like sightseeing you will never have a chance to get bored in Istanbul because it takes ages to see all the places worth seeing. Topkapi and Dolmabahce palaces, Grand Bazaar, Hagia Sophia and Blue Mosque as well as Istanbul Archeological Museum must not be missed.

Ankara: Very cold in the winter, hot and dry in the summer. Isolated from the sea by mountains surrounding the city. It has little to offer in terms of natural beauty. Before the establishment of the Republic Ankara was a small town. It has become a big city mostly populated by bureaucrats and civil servants who prefer to live in a tidy and orderly city. Ankara may sometimes surprize you with its dynamic young population, social activities and theaters some of which are very good indeed. There is a rivalry between the new generations of both cities.  Although most of them admit, Istanbul is the nicer city, they criticize its chaotic life and the notorious traffic. 

Ýzmir: Ýzmir is a city on the Aegean coast. It has a large port and a dynamic economic life. In some regards, Izmir is the Seattle of Turkey- broad minded people, a rich social life, a healthy cuisine and a nice city. Izmir is very hot in the summer but luckily all the top holiday centers are just a quick drive away. If you like history, this town is your heaven. There are excellent museums in the region.  

Bursa: Ottoman baths, Uludag (Mt. Olympus historically), winter sports, textile, industry... Bursa has recently become one of the fastest developing cities in the country. There are many mosques to be seen the most notable one being Ulucami. You should also visit the Green Tomb which iss famous for its tiles.

Bursa is located on the Western end of the Silver Road. It has a vivid business life and lots of shopping centers. After seeing the city, you should take the cable car to Mt. Uludag.

Adana: Adana was the fourth largest city in Turkey until recently. It shrunk but gave out its population to other big cities like Istanbul. That is why there is a Adana culture everywhere. TV´s are full of shows featuring the imaginary lives of feudal but rich families of Adana.

Adana is also home for many of the kebab varieties and therefore the biggest influence on the eating habits of entire Turkey with Adana kebab always in high demand. It is therefore quite difficult to find a decent restaurant offering vegetable dishes in Istanbul.

Those above just five largest cities in Turkey. There are many others some of which are a lot more interesting some of the cities on the list.  

       well as a turkish guy i it doesn´t matter whether it is foreign or turkish girl i always look for honesty and sympathy in all girls.. but i can say that turkish girls are more  selfish than foreign girls i don´t know why.. turkish girls see many guys as ppl who are very bad and trying to get benefit from them which is not always true.. but foreign girls are more relax and more sympatic and they respect..

 I will just love to have you talk to my husband. 

 that was a nice and very imformative servay. thank you vineyards

 yes i can do it.. i can support my idea..

I have a question about Turkish culture.I have read in many forums that Western women are viewed differently by Turkish men because of alot of stereotypes that are out there.

How do those views range from cities like Istanbul to cities like Adana? I know that usually in big cities people are usually alot more open and liberal. I ask because I have a Western friend that is a girl that think that her Turkish guy friends view things like women sleeping around or Western things like friends with benefits normally and do not look down on her for doing these things and might marry her but I always thought that it was a more conservative culture then that.

   you are right. ! I thought the same with you.

as on every country some Turkish men (most of em about the man nature) flies flower to flower as the bees while only little bit of em looking for real love,and yea to be bee or love seaker depend on economical ,social and local conditions...) So Turkish men aren´t alliens

You have my respect, dear Lisa.

I have many discussion about this with some Turkish friends of mine.

I´m a 24 year old girl from Holland. I am in a steady relationship with a Turkish guy. I have heard people warn him from me, since I´m from Holland and I would cheat on him. They thought so, simply because I was from Western Europe. That irritated me very much. I have been in a relationship where somebody cheated, but that person wasn´t me!

I also had some discussions with some friends of my boyfriend, who said that I wasn´t "typical Western European" because I didn´t sleep around and wasn´t showing my breasts of in tiny clothes. I explained to them that they view they have f Western women is biased. They only see one type of women. They worked in a barstreet. And that town was known for women going there just to sleep with guys. That means that they mostly meet 1 type of Western women, the dirty ones.

I explained that none of my friends wear the clothes that those women wear, and none of my friends would EVER behave in such a way. Like the was said before, "friends with benefits", no girl in my immediate group of friends has something like that.

I think it´s a shame that a few women has changed the view that a lot of Turkish men have on all of us. I see that my nephews are starting to believe that it´s normal for a woman to sleep with a guy she hardly knows!

I live in China, but my boyfriend is Turkish. Kurdish actually. He lives in a town that gets a lot of tourists and he meets a lot of women because he sells carpets, as does his brother.  I would not believe he would ever cheat on me because he contacts me nearly every day, but I could be wrong. I trust him though. He came to visit me in China. He shopped for groceries, cooked five dinners because restaurants are very expensive in Shanghai and he wanted to stay in and relax. He made tea and never once asked me to make it. He showed me how to make it because I asked him. He would clean my apartment and make the bed while I was at work, even though I have a cleaning lady who comes once a week. When I visit him, I want for nothing and he cooks for everyone who just happens to be in the shop.

He tells me about the people he meets and where they are from and what they bought from him or how he helped them. He is a kind, generous, honest person. His brother is the same and so is his cousin. He is very liberal and doesn´t focus too much on religion. He just wants to be a good person but he´s not opposed to commiting a sin every now and then, but he would never hurt anyone. I am very fortunate to know him. 

I have met some men in Turkey who are not good people, and I ´ve met others who are. I think Turkish men are like men in other countries. It just seems like so many of them  are not honest or just want one thing because we go there as tourists and are bombarded by Turkish men who want to sell us something or love us and leave us. Men in other tourist locations in the world are the same way, even in North America and Europe, just maybe not as obvious as the Turkish men.

maryilyons, you have a miracle there.

You can never ask such a question "how turkish men or people see foreign women". Everything depends on the person, it is an individual thing. People who arent used to think much will think in stereotypes and more sensible people will judge individually.

Let´s talk about european women from different side...

Is is easy to be in relationship with european woman for turkish man?

They are relaxed, they have they plans, they have lot of wishes and have lot of requirements for man.

Often they do not have any ideas about Islam religion and rules.

 What a strange thing to say!  I have to agree with Suyu, how can you stereotype people in such a way?   I don´t know any two people who are the same - in charactisterics, manner, aspirations, personality...

... so, this topic is closed? Every think depends just on person and nationality and religion doesn´t mater?

I don´t think so.

 I am not saying that there are not cultural differences.  However, how individuals respond to cultural differences varies enormously depending on their life experience, education, personality etc. 

 I agree.  I think that for any kind of relationship to work, there has to be an understanding on both parts of the different cultures, religion, experiences.  Everything really.

Also language plays a huge role. Subtleties get lost in translation and problems arise. Intercultural relationships take make work, in my opinion, but are very worth it !

I agree with the people who say that it´s about the individual. I don´t like it when European are stereotyped as people withour morals who know nothing about other cultures or relgions. THANK YOU

I know more about the Islam than my Turkish partner does! At least I read the quran (okay, a translation but better than nothing)  while he didn´t. And no, I didn´t read it because of him. Read it years before I even met him. I am also not a drunken *insert bad word here*. I don´t drink alcohol! And no, not because of my partner. I never felt the need to drink, even though I´m a Western university student So maybe I don´t fit the stereotypical view that some Turkish people have of Westerns girls, but my guess is that a lot of stereotypes are wrong, So are a lot of stereotypes about Turkish men. My boyfriend is not the typical Turkish macho  He is not scared because of my feministic views. I didn´t have to convince him about women´s rights or anything. His views on the rights of women are very similar to my views, and that´s all because of his own experiences.

just what I would expect from a typical christian westerner!

I´m not a Christian pfff, stereotyping again assuming I´m Christian. Guess what I am I mean he doesn´t fit people´s stereotypical view of the latin-lover type Turkish pretty boy OTHER PEOPLE´S stereotype.

why shouldn`t I stereotype you as christian when you stereotype all the Turkish men as muslims?

when did i say all turkish men are muslims...quote please

"Another reason....some interpret the quran to say that a muslim man is not required to marry a muslim woman, but a muslim woman is required to marry a muslim man... Just add it somewhere on the long long LONGGGGG list of reasons."

 no idea what???

typical christian westerners are under heels of their women,having nothing to say and trying their best to prevent their  beloved ones to leave them for macho Turk gibi..who will understand women??are you going to try Tami???

PS

of course i am not giving  Dabrowskis as an example..we do not fit the general rule!

No, that´s not saying that everybody in Turkey is muslim, that is just plain math.

Let´s say, all muslim men can marry non-muslim women, and all muslim women can not marry non-muslim men. If then the vast VAST majority if Turkish people are muslim (which is a fact, not a stereotype) simple chance calculation would predict more Turkish men with non-muslim women then Turkish women with non-muslim men. And at the same time, this fact would also mean that they can find more non-muslim from abroad then non-muslims from the country itself... did you get it Ah, math...numbers... i LOVE IT!

But I did not say all Turkish men are muslim

Likewise I`m not saying all the westerners are christians, but as the majority of westerners are christians (which is a fact, not a stereotype), the chances are high that a sample individual from the entire population will believe that muslim men are allowed to marry nonmuslims but muslim women are not (which is not a fact but a western christian stereotype)

Numbers are lovely, aren`t they?

Are you sure that the Dobroski men are an exception to that?

but I guess it`s possible considering they hang out drunk 7/24. do they even care?

 barba..have you drunk something???

Well most of the Turkish men are muslims I think we call it more than 99%.

So your numbers are adding up!!

Then the question is why is a muslim woman marrying a non muslim man is more unlikely!!

You are right in your arguments  

she messed with raki?

 hayir canim

most of Dabrowskis men-90 % mingle with Dabrowskis women not seeing the world except them

you simply do not know what i am talking about as you cannot afford Dabrowski woman)))

are you on vodka?

 I don´t drink alcohol, remember

OOHHHH soooo typical, the western girl must be DRUNK (insert sarcastic tone here )

don`t worry, if you can survive raki, you`re definitely not a typical westerner

 on Dabrowskis´s prideworse than vodka))stronger))and you?on your overexcitment???any buckets of cold water near???

naah, but I wouldn`t reject a glass of milk now, with baileys