aahhh christine it seems that all the negatives here are getting to you! dont let that happen....trust what you have

Dear Christine!
I am happy for you! Falling in love is a wonderful thing...no matter what will follow. I wish I could say that relationships with american/european women and turks more often have happy endings than sad endings, but so far that is not my experience...but I do wish for you that you and your love is part of the happy ending stories! I have no reason what so ever to wish you otherwise. I think that from the little glimts you have shared with me you two seem to have a nice form of deeper communication which most of the couples I have seen and heard about have lacked. A common language...and open minds...are in my opinion a good start...as well as the, oh so important, love chemistry!
I wish you the best! ...and as I use to say to my friends: ...we fall in love so seldom in life...so when we do...go for it...but don´t drop your brain because of it!

I think I can say I understand you. From reading all the negative stories on the internet and seeing the fact I was so madly, crazily, deeply , everythingly in love.. i wondered how realistic I was. And then I'm just 18. I started feelign such a fool for a long time. I projected each kind of negativity upon Kadir, I always got scared if he asked me where I had been, and I asked myself if this was the sign that he would become more and more jealous over time. If he said that he didn't like that i went out at night till 4.30, I got pissed and projected my 'suppresses women fears' on him. But ey, I'd hate it if he did the same.

These are small examples, but for about 2 months they became a big issue to me, in which I even thought of giving it all up. I was scared that what I believed in so strongly, would turn out to be untrue. I was scared he'd be like all the others. I even asked him if he knew the book/film 'Not without my daughter' about Betty Mahmoody who is married to an Iranian man, with a good doctor job in the USA and a lovely daugther Mahtob. On holiday in Iran, he kidnaps his daughter and turns his wife's live into a nightmare. Out of nothing. My fear gave me the guts to ask Kadir about this. He was extremely hurt and disappointed.

I regretted my question and started thinking again. Even if Kadir would be different thatn what I really believe he is: each memory I have is worth a lifetime pleasure. No matter if 'us together' is lifetime or not, he gave me memories no one has given me before.

Look where I am now: in a month I will live in my appartment in Izmir, close to Kadir. I'm not scared anymore. I'm in love and I care about nothing. I can say that at least I tried. But I believe it will work out fine.


I agree with Aslan. From what I've seen from your posts, I believe in it. I feel weird saying this, I'm just 18 and have had no previous experience on love or life. But still. Something tells me you two are going fine. It's the journey that counts, not the target. The target is worthless if the journey wasn't full of love, wisdom and joy. So far I experienced so much joy and love, and wisdom will surely come. I have an ending on this road, and I hope Kadir will be there. But each step I take with him, is one step enjoyed.

Christine, don't compare yourself to what you read on the internet. Don't try to be sooo realistic like society teaches you to be. You're in love and so is he. Go for it .

Thank you for all of the encouraging feedback!

The only problem is that I love him so much it hurts. Really. I am a pretty successful teacher and he is a waiter. He works six days a week- 13 hours a day, but calls me every night before falling asleep.

I am struggling so much with material success in America and love in Turkey.

I don't care about money. I study Turkish like a fiend for our time together. I am returning in December for only ten days, and again next summer for 2 months.

I've gone mad over him. Any rational thoughts out here?

Is anyone rational where love is concerned? Why be rational!?!?! Love is so amazing when we get it right and your heart knows if it is right. The fact that it hurts only confirms that. And it sounds like he hurts as much as you do....I know it is not cheap to call nightly. Hang in there.

Selam:

Oh!! its it so hard to turkish vist America? I am sad to hear that, as I to have a friend I wish could come for Xtmas.......thats breaks my heart... why its that so, because of terrorism...not everybody its..besides the planet should welcome every men taht wanst to travel from one country to the other...land it to all to enjoy.

kenedine iyi bak.
Ozur dilerim
güle güle
ederim