hi all ,, thanks for all the help you have given me recently!! i now understand about the non impediment certificate but i wonder just what else i will need to marry my turkish boyfriend . is it true i will need blood tests in turkey? and what doeshe need?
also once we are married he wants to apply for a settlement visa here in the uk -- how difficult is this?? and what do we need to show?? it is all very complicated i think but i know it will be worth it in the end!
but wqould love some advice on all of this asi need to take all the correct paperwork with me

ELAINE XX

Elaine,

You can visit this site as it has alot of information that can help you:

http://www.mymerhaba.com/en/main/index.asp

This site will give you much information regarding marriage in Turkey and applying for citizenship, etc.

In regards to UK, I have no idea.. but all will take time.

Good luck and best of wishes in your future endeavors with your husband-to-be.

God's speed!

Hi there

I wish you lots of luck, I am sort of in the same boat as I want my Turkish bf to visit me but the amount of red tape is rediculous. It's amazing what Turkish people have to go through just to take a holiday in the UK.

Anyway... there are some essays on this site I found useful, you may want a look too...

All the best

Andrea xx

Andrea if u download the settlement visa from uk visas uk it will tell you everything your partner will need to show. also i know that besides the certificate of non pediment u need 6 passport sized photos as everything duplicated your birth certificate and if u have been married before a copy of your decree absolute.. yes u have a blood test this costs around 20.00. i hope this helps..
and good luck
Kim459

sorry elaine.. got confused.. Kim459

hi kim and andrea ,

thank you for replying !!! i am still not sureif it would be better to go for holiday visa first-- settlement visa may take a long time i think . i am going back to turkey in 3 weeks time -- and staying for 2 weeks -- not very long to get things sorted . but for holiday visa i think he will need lots of money and he hasn't got lots!!! it is so difficult knowing what to do . i am really pleased to have people on here who understand xx love to you all xx ELAINE X

also can you tell me where i can find the essays on this site?? thank you xx

hi !!! and can anyone tell me how much it costs to get the non impediment certificate translated??/

Hi Elaine

If you go to "home" then scroll down it's got a box which says new essays to download etc. If you click on essay there are some interesting posts from Lyndie which are all about the difficulties obtaining visas etc. However, don't let them put you off!!

I'm back in Turkey on 6th November to be with my love and I can't wait! However, I am dreading coming home again because it will be a while before I can back and I don't know if he will be coming to me, because, like your bf he is not rich and doesn't have lots of money in his account.

Anyway, take care

Andrea xxx

Hi Andrea, thanks for your reply-- will have a look at essays later this evening. I am going back in 3 weeks time for 2 weks and like you , i can't wait!! but i too am dreading coming bach to the uk without him --- i won't be able tyo go back until january at the earliest and then i do not know if i can get time off in which to go
i wish i had money to put in his bank but i don't and he only earns £300 a month . it is really difficult and i think it is sad thathe can't just come for a holiday -- i earn enough to support him whilst he is here . we are thinking of getting married and applying for a settlement visa but again it all takes time and money!!!! it is good to know i am not alone in this tho and please stay in touch xx ELAINE XX

Arkin

Hi everybody,good afternoon.i am a uygur from china ,i want to marry with my turky girl friend ,and i want to know that can i get a certficate of settlement of turky after i married with her ?because of some political reasons ,we can't get more information there .need your help.Your reply will be highly appreciated.

u said u have enough money to support him whilst he is on holiday..then u would be able to be his sponsor whilst he was here...then he should get his holiday visa ..if u want him to come to you..just a thought

Just wondering why u need a blood test? Can u fail blood test with a partner??

the blood test is to check that u dont have diseases..then i guess its up to the partner if they marry u or not after that..but i dont actually know about that as im not sure if they are allowed to marry u if u have certain diseases.....quite a good idea though if u ask me...considering the prevalence of std's nowadays

thanks robyn, yeah im quite curious...but i thought it might have to do with having children. I heard some blood types dont mix well. ....could be wrong,

u r referring to rhesus negative and rhesus positive factors of the blood..during pregnancy if a woman has rhesus negative then her body can reject the foetus..so the foetus can die..or threaten the womans life ...
but neway the blood tests are dont to check for diseases not for that purpose..
hope it helps a bit...

no its not..its mainly towards stds and testing rhesus negatove or positive..

As far as I am aware, a blood test is also required in the US before marriage too ! I wonder why the UK doesn't do this

Been having a look at this and it is a medical that is carried out in a Turkish hospital with the potential spouses, be they Turkish / Turkish or any other nationality.

Yep, pity we dont have the same sort of thing here, then perhaps they would have found my brain and warned me before I got married

I am absolutely NOT against testing, I think it might be wise these days. But I do object against it when it is compulsary to get married. When you are an adult, I think you should know for yourself. No government that can decide about me and my relation!

Completely agree with Trudy.

X wife of a Turkish guy here, resus negative, and an employee of the IND. hahaha

I've changed departments now but used to work with settlement, and family holiday visas for spouses. So if you want to ask any questions RE: either feel free. You can get all the info on the website.

XX

thanks for offering your services..i think u will now be under attack in the personal messages department..

yea i expect so robyn, not a problem, that's what im here for.

i should be getting the single men to contact me, not the ones trying to get married.

Ok, I will try my best to get you a computer. But it may only have the basics on it. Would you be satisfied with a laptop?

Sorry I, as a begger, don't want to be a chooer also, but I need just a PC, not a laptop. No matter what they might be on it!

hey,
is there any option for us? i mean, getting married abroad

what passporthunting

Hi Eliane

I have just completed everything that needs to be done in order for me to fly out to Turkey and get married and if you are still wanting assistance i will be happy to guide you,please dont hesitate to send me a pm
It isnt easy doing this alone and there is a lot of paperwork that needs to be gathered in order for a stress free marraige and i can advise you with regards to the medical

Kind Regards

Jacke


xx

gud luck canim xx

Actually, there are only 8 states in the U.S. that require a blood test prior to marriage. Welcome back aenigma we have missed you. Sorry, it's not the last Tuesday of the month ending in R.

Virginity is precondition among youngs for marriage in Türkiye

So sick...

may be it seems as a sick at the first when you look at with selfish eyes,but it has very deep ethical value when you think a bit deep and sure that not just for female sure for mmales to..

how do you check the virginity of men?

MrX67 , is realy 10% only of turkey not pay attention virginity, whom live in ankra , istanbul, izmer, as my friend ayse told me

Duplicate post :S

[quote aenigme]

Yeah, right. There're a lot of relatively modern people who do these. I think it's more because the girl wants to keep herself virgin because if the girl lets, the man wouldn't mind it.

anything in this subject doesnt make sense to me.

i do not have a problem with virginity.
well, lets say its good to be virgin (for ethics, moral's sake), OK.
but how about boys then? why arent the controlled or checked?
this thing doesnt work to both sexes, it humiliates only one sex representatives.

And the real moral person is the one who does not need to be checked in order to be moral. So, a man as well very well can keep himself virgin if he sees this as a part of his ethics.

For female and male =
This is a truth in Türkiye.This is a tradition and a custom and a very deep ethical value and a Community Culture….
Culture rule the community.
Marriages (love) requires two people only according to Turkish Traditional Culture…
İt is a honor according to Turkish people.
Virginity is precondition among youngs in Türkiye..

i think thats not a topic of religions or ethnics or nationalites,thats a matter of to be human

i give up now, i cant talk on these issues.
it will be again let those with stronger heads do it against the primitive wallbricks
i just added my own points that the archaic patriarchial traditions harm and humiliate women. i cannot value such cruel traditions and praise them (as some backword people here do). if virginity is required it must work to both sexes.
over!

last 25 years take so many things from high Turkish moral values,so the young generation struggling in a big cultural shock at the days

Yes, Yilgun is right…
“Virginity is precondition among youngs (female and male) for marriage in Türkiye according to Turkish Traditional Community Culture, Turkish Tradition or custom”.
“Marriages (love) requires two people only according to human being psychology, nobility and morality”.
However, virginity starts in brains first and ends on body next…
As you know well marriage and family life (love) is holy…
yes, he is right...

Dear Elham,
I was also responding to your comment "there is no freedom of sexuality".

And...I repeat, why do you think virginity applies to women only?

Dear Elham,
I DID reply to you about this ring. Please see my reply below Perhaps YOU should be in less of a hurry to post a sarcastic reply

Quoting aenigma x: Quoting elham: sex with the husband only, all religions say this, did you hear ring chastity, which some students wearing it in England , what do you think why they wear it? Of course many (not all!!) religions say the same Elham . They are all interpreted by MEN and they must protect themselves from jealousy!! You will find that Christians used to have a similar sexist "law" which applied only to women. It no longer exists in mainstream Christian religions and there is no evidence in the Bible (although also written by MEN) that it ever existed either Yes I have heard of this "cult" of wearing a Chastity Ring. What it ACTUALLY means is that you have so little self respect or control over your own body that you will entrust it's use to your future husband. You are giving your future husband power and control, the right to abuse and rape you, do what the hell he likes to you. I would respect anyone who chose to remain a virgin, but I cannot respect someone who does this in order to present their body as a "gift" to their husband. Deciding to be a virgin doesn't require a ring...the ring is a sinister, santimonious kind of perceived oneupmanship over people who made different choices. This Chastity Ring merely shows that the wearer does not have the intelligence or enough respect for themselves to make decisions about their own body after marriage.

sex and make love really different things,and you can see the virginity in make love,while sex doesn't know any value...)

For all practical purposes, yes.....

In fact, a little previous experience in the gentlemen may help both parties,

the answer is in your private mail

You missed the point...

Virginity is important and expected of a lady in societies where the father of, at least the first born, is important.

FIDELITY BY CHOICE OR BY FORCE

Fidelity used to be a requirement from both partners, in a relation.

It now seems optional in highly civilised societies.

It will not surprise me at all, if infidelity is enforced in near future.

For "any man", nothing is important.. my discussion is beyond that..

My advise to ladies of this group is to avoid "any man", if they can....

Faithfulness, honesty, integrity and loyality are far more important in a marriage then enforced virginity before marriage,in my opinion.

ok now i have questions,

We are Eastern too,and its forbidden as in religion and SHAME as in tradition to have sex outside marrige for both men and woman.
İ mean none married men cant talk about having sex and be proud about it among others.

So,my question is,
İs it acceptable there for Turkish men to have sex outside marrige and not acceptable for women ?
İ mean,do men talk about it as it is normal to have sexual affair but at same time its shame for women ?!
Or is it not acceptable at all in society ?

Virginity in a lady of young age, about to be married, is a virtue.

There are situations in which a gentleman of quality may consider lack of this quality, in the lady of his choice, to be acceptable. Prophet Muhammed himself made such a choice, in his first marriage.

Are either AlphaF or Qdemir going to answer my question?

There is no reason why she should not consider this requirement from groom candidates, if she feels her own qualities measure up....

thats really nice to wait till to find true love,and all others really details and very complex...

Will no one answer Canlis questions? I would like to know as well... because there there she is asking about behaviour and not about ideas. Ideas anyone can have the best, but only behaviour shows the truth...

Karekin04,

Oh my goodness, I cant imagine you would be punishing all Turkish parents for the act of your husband's. I am divorced from a Lebanese man for 14 years. My son is 10 years old, do the math, yes born out of wedlock. He is half black, half Mexican. Just stating those 2 facts could make me seem like a horrible b*&^ch. I have been married for 7 months to the most amazing Turkish man. If I had believed in love and known he existed, I would have waited forever. His family has welcomed me in to their lives with open arms and the kindest of thoughts. Maybe this is due to the fact that they trust my husband to make these decisions for himself. They love him enough to accept that he will do what is right for him, for them. I am in the US and his family is in Turkey. We chat almost every day online in broken Turkish and English. I have never been so loved. In fact, his parents provide a better example to me of what a family should be then my own. Please dont judge everyone by the actions of 2 people. That is what is wrong with our world today. If we all thought this way, my son and I would have missed our chance at the beautiful family my husband and I have created.

Ohhh God,poor women !
How do they have a normal marriage then if its acceptable their men can cheet on them ?!

catwoman-- I don't know what to say to that, I am questioning all the time why he wont stand up to them, they hate me so much for no reason and swear they will never talk to him again, I dont know if they have broken him down so much or what, im really lost as to why he wont fight them, he feels he owes them everything i guess

qdemir- thank you, i know what your saying and point taken well.
Nucuk34- wish to god things could be that way for me. How wonderful for you, congradulations.

MRX?? I don't really understand your statement can you explain.

I try not to judge based on his parents but right now I'm PISSED beyond words, and have no idea what to do.

cheeting not a right neither for men nor for women.and yes males more weak about that,but who can defence an unethical and unfair attitude???

karekin04
Maybe he is fighting it there in his way,so he wont lose his parents too.
Turkish are patient people,and its just taking time maybe thats it ?

Be patient,i know its hard,but if he loves you enough he will sort things out and be with you.
İf not,then you are lucky you broke up now.
Only thing you can do for him is to be patient and support him,dont let him fight both sides.

The amazing thing is its still ok for men too when they are getting older!
İ mean those rules are the same rules will apply on his daughter to be in the future,on his sister
He would still accept it too ?

when we accept to make love only a nice way to say i love you (body language of a real love ) then to cheeting impossible i think?

So many opinions, so much confusion. One of my biggest fears, living in the US, is that my husband would have an affair and fall in love with another woman. For some reason, families dont seem to last here when the man is having an affair. They think the grass is greener on the other side and many men leave their wives and families for the other woman. From what I understand, it is a common thing in Turkey for a man to cheat. However, it does not seem to be such a common thing for a man to leave his wife and family for the other woman. Is this correct?

I dont know which I would prefer, a cheating man in Turkey or a cheating man in the US, hhhhhmmmmm. Actually, I would prefer for our wedding vows to mean something, virgin or no virgin. We make a promise to God to love each other and honor his laws. Forget what our guy friends or women friends think about us, in the end God sees all.

All the discussion here is related to basic man and woman.

I see no one aspiring for a higher level. Somewhat discouraging...

trust is must and without trust nothing much meaningfull..and trust2s road pass on real love (just on ''true love'')and thats one of the life reality ''to find a wingless male angel on earth not all easy''

so true ,ama
Ehmmm,can be the cause too

MrX, apart from the philosophical love sentences, tell me what do you think of this saying: "kadın erkeğin elinin kiridir, yıkar, geçer"

Men are the head.. us girls or women are the neck.. so we are the ones really in control.. hihihihi

life is sort of ''Love school'' and i believe that females teachers and males students of this schooland a good teacher have to know methods teaching of ''love takes life time but make love only a few mins''

Do not feel yourself under any pressure MrX, assume that we are your male friends

ok ok,i gave up,you all right...