WHAT?! How dare you say Turkish girls... what you mean is that it is shameful for Kurdish girls to simply talk to a foreign man.

Dear barba_mama. I see that you have not understood me even a tiny bit; I am not trying to blame Kurds for everything that goes wrong in Turkey. For example there are many bad traditions that live amongst Turks as well, such as first cousin marriages. I would not deny this, because this is the truth. What I have told about honor killings is also the truth. I don´t know how I can convince you that I am not trying to defame a certain group but simply telling the truth.

definetly a bad tradition. where does it come from? we live in 21st century.

 Define "we"!!!

that sounded like lemon and Yersu

europe

Well i have only one question to you... yes just 1...

Have you ever visited Istanbul or Izmir in your lifetime?  

I could experience that Turkish, Syrian, Arabian or Persian men work here. They have bronze skin, maybe they are good looking. The Hungarian ladies like mediterran partners, but I must tell you our media doesn´t show good picture about you at all. I could find some couple who live happily together in Hungary and in Turkey too. Very few percentage of ladies can accept Muslim partners, because they are influenced negatively (like terrorist attacks, old traditions or  "Not without my daughter" type movies).  There were really some cases where the couple couldn´t decide where their common child must stay after the divorce... But I could chat some of them, who have Turkish or Persian male partner and they told me they are sensitive, clean, honest men and they are better than even the locals guys. But there were such examples too, that her husband seemed to be a very modern thinking guy, but as soon as they visited his relatives he returned to the old attitude (for example they began to hit theirs wives or to humliate them).

And these are warning signs for every Christian guys too. Although Turkish ladies are pretty and they are exotic like a forbidden fruit, but some cultural differences can not be bridged. I could hear that Turkish people follow the "lighter" version of Islam faith, but some basic rules are kept anyway. For example non-Muslim guys must accept circumcision, which is one of the greatest final test before marriage, but I doubt he will be a "real" Muslim in his heart even if he accepts this physical requirement from the family of his love...

I could have found such reasons toom that a local Turkish woman won´t speak with foreign  men. But how would that Turkish woman react in a Western country? Would they flirt there if they are not controlled by relatives, laws and traditions? And what is more important? Religion or personal happiness? Must we combine or separete these in our life?

Unfortunately, many Muslim families including my own enforce the rules of the religion from early childhood. You get circumcised regardless of what your faith will be in the future. Having said that it is not as horrible as it seems. I get by with the understanding that getting circumcised can in fact be healthier. At least, this is what we are being told.

You should know that Turkey has a very big population comprising many ethnic groups, cultures, beliefs, life styles etc. So, unlike those countries like Bulgaria, Romania, Hungary, Poland etc where people tend to be unicultural and uniracial, Turkish people is a complex mixture of all sorts including sharp contrasts and contradictions. That means you can find all sorts of people. As I am writing these lines, hundreds of thousands of people are having one night stands, millions of them are going to a mosque, some are committing honor killings and some are drinking their lives away. Some of these people call themselves muslims and some do not. It is a natural result of being a big and diversified country. I just wanted to highlight the difference between a small and homogenious country and a big one.

To all of you who are thinking about a relationship, marriage etc with turkish/kurdish men.  Please be aware that a visa may be important for them and they may even want to marry.  However, so many end the marriages or leave because they say it doesn´t work out.  I believe it is more to do with the male not working hard enough in most relationships I have heard of.  I know good women who have been in this position.  Its better to get all the facts.  Alot of women give money  etc to Turkish/Kurdish men in good faith.  Don´t be fooled that it is for what they actually say it is for and if it is they should work for it like most of us in the world have to!!

Ask as many questions as you think you need to about them.  If they can´t tell their families about you then they surely must have somehing to hide.  This note is not meant to offend.  I believe love is great but with love also come blindness at times.

Michael007: But not every man is fortune hunter... There must be some Turkish guys, who don´t love only for your money or your visa.

Vineyards: I have spoken about the general picture about a Muslim-Christian mixed couple or marriage in a Christian community. So local guys like "exotic" girls, but I doubt they will ever marry them because of the culture and different religion... But nothing can be only black or white, so it depends on the two people and how can they give up some expectations.