Hi can anyone help, me and my turkish man have been together for 5 months now and i have been back to visit him, we chat everyday on the phone...(me paying fo it) he works in the travel and tourism he has a business, things are tough through the winter and in the last month he has asked me to send him money, no sob stories. the thing is he knows i dont have any money to send so i dont understand why he keeps asking for my help. we have got through all the Do you want a visa stuff and do you have another gf/wife. He is such a nice guy, but the problem is trust with me and i have been married to a british guy that alawys wanted money and i told myself not again!! i do love him and care for him, i am even thinking in a couple of years moving to turkey as i love the country so much and the culture. anyone got any advice! is it genuine that he just needs to live through the winter months. I am due to go back in May and he knows that i need the money for my flight out to be with him and knows if i send him money i wont get to be with him. i have even asked him to marry me!!! Please help. I am also trying to learn the lovely turkish langauge and struggling quite a bit anyone patent enough to help a english person learn. xx

Seriously, I would say don`t send him any money.

Ok, do you think he is genuine. i gave him some money while i was out there and he knows that i have hard times here. Im stuck on what to do for the best as i dont want him to starve but i dont want him to keep thinking i will help. he has offered to pay me back.

Hi, the problem is we don´t know the guy, whether he is a good person or not. But the thing we know is ALL the women that were conned thought their man was a genuine, loving, sweet person. My answer would be no, don´t send money.

I am calling all Dudu veterans to the topic!

Unfortunately most long term users on this site have often seen close relationships here sour over the years. A majority have been where a girlfriend has been used for visa/money/and ´other´ arrangements.

Good luck to you, if he´s genuine he will survive somehow and look forward to when you join him. Having financial problems will test any relationship, but pressuring you for money is definitely not a good sign for your future in my opinion. The offer to pay back loaned money is great to hear, but so often not what eventuates when the relationship ends. If I sound negative it is only because I have read so many sad stories here of women who were used. Of course there are exceptions, but let anyone who has loaned money and also had a successful relationship send a private message to you.

I wish you success in learning Turkish.  

Like earlier posts pointed out we don´t know this guy but my question would be ´how did he survive previous winters´.  In the tourist business all winters are very hard year after year.  I know if I was in his situation and I asked someone very close to me to lend me money but they said they couldn´t help I certainly wouldn´t keep asking...if he knows you well enough then he should trust that if you could you would.

Hope this doesn´t sound harsh

Thank you guys, well he has said sorry for asking and if he had known how i felt he would not of asked he didnt quiet know what i was going through here in the UK, he has survived before as the business was good previous years and had enough saved, unfortunatly the down turn of the climate has not helped and putting money into the business this year has drained him of winter savings!!! i know how he feels as i am going through the same stuff myself and i have had the toughiset year financially.

Now getting back to learning turkish i am having problems with the way you pronounce certain letters or words and would be great too be able to speak to someone that can hold a conversation with me so that i can learn easier, i have tried phrase books and CD´s but with no joy at retaining the sentances, so thats why i signed up to this site also to meet other people that love turkey.

Does anyone also know a good transfer company that i can get a cheap cab from anytala airport to the resort.

Sorry to add to the ´anti´ comments but after Yersu´s comment this lady´s story

(http://www.turkishclass.com/userMessages_astry1_1

sprang to mind - she was so adamant he was different when she started posting but - unfortunately for her - as time went on things changed for the worse

 First, my husband is Turkish....he would rather suffer (die!) than ask a woman to help him!  Second, Turkish people have very strong family ties.  I doubt he will be out on the street if he has no money.  Third, you said he keeps asking you for money and you keep saying no...which means he doesn´t believe you don´t have any and will keep asking until he wears you down.  It looks to me like he would rather have your money than a visit from you....Sorry to say it, but you have yourself a professional dudu.

*Dr. House mode is switched ON*

 You shouldn´t send him money, if he is so insistent, I think he just wants your money, I hate to break it out to you but NO the world is not filled with lovely guys, and Antalya is known for attracting both guys and girls of...questionable morals...so I certainly doubt he wants to spend time longing for his UK girlfriend while he can fool around with tourists who are so willing to try exotic tastes.

Also, is he struggling to improve his English? or are you the only one making the effort to learn Turkish while he doesn´t give a rat´s behind...I suspect the latter.

Seriously, don´t waste your time longing for someone so far away, most often it won´t be worth the effort, and a resort worker from Antalya is as suspicious as someone from the crook ethnic stereotype of your preference selling you some stocks that are guaranteed to explode, or a Nigerian former minister asking for your help to squirrel out some billions from his bank account via email.

In short, don´t send him money and forget about him, it will do you good.

Good call LIR....some of the stories I read here are truly heartbreaking.....and those women really trusted the guys.  I´m sad to say, I´ve seen some of these type things in real life myself. 

If he knows her sending him money means she won´t have the funds to visit....it´s a pretty bad sign.....  What investment in the relationship has he made?