This isn't a joke but I did find it funny

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

It is fun! And what a nerve to fill in a form like this (when you're 17)...

A burnette, a redhead, and a blonde are sitting in the waiting room at the doctors office. The three of them start talking and realize they are all there because they are pregant. The burnette states we will be having a girl, I know this because I was on top when the baby was conceived. The redhead says well if that is how it works than i will be having a boy because my husband was on top when we conceived. All of a sudden the blonde start crying uncontrollably, whats wrong the other two women ask....Still sobbing the blonde replies...I'm going to have puppies!!!!!

haha thats funny

Grrrrrr. Its about time we had some brunette jokes!

REVENGE!

Q. Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
A. The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.

Q. Why is brunette considered an evil color?
A. When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?

Q. What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
A. The invitation

Q. What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
A. A hostage

Q. Who makes bras for brunettes?
A. Fisher-Price

AND FINALLY MY FAVOURITE:

Q. Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
A. It matches their moustache.

A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.

On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

This guy just started at his new job, working at a porno shop. His boss comes out and tells him that he has to leave for a while, and "can you handle it? "The new employee is somewhat reluctant, but with the boss's positive comments he finally agrees.

So, the guy is there by himself for a little while and a white woman comes in. She asks, "How much for the white dildo?"
He answers, "$35."
She: "How much for the black one?"
He: "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one."
She: "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one before."
She pays him, and off she goes.

A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks "How much for the black dildo?"
He: "$35."
She: "How much for the white one?"
He: "$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one."
She: "Hmmm...I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white one before..."
She pays him, and off she goes.

About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks, "How much are your dildos?"
He: "$35 for the white, $35 for the black."
She: "Hmmmmm....how much is that plaid one on the shelf?"
He: "Well, that's a very special dildo...it'll cost you $165."
She thinks for a moment and answers, "I'll take the plaid one, I've never had a plaid one before...."
She pays him, and off she goes.

Finally, the guy's boss returns and asks, "How did you do while I was gone?" To which the saleman responded, "I did really good, I sold one white dildo, one black dildo, and I sold your thermos for $165!"

This one is from Soviet Russia time.

God fed up with the international affairs in the World and decided to destroy the World. He called the 3 leaders and declared His decision and said them "go tell about this to your country".

US leader gave a TV adress on TV during the primetime.
"Citizens, I have 2 news for you. One is good, one is bad. Good news is there is a God. Bad news is He will destroy the World."

Soviet leader gave a speech at the Communist Party center.
"Comrades, I have 2 news for you. One is bad, one is worse. Bad news is there is a God. Worse news is He will destroy the World."

Israil leader gave a speech on TV. "Fellow Israilies, I have 2 news for you. One is good, one is great. Good news is there is a God. Great news is there will be no Palestine state anymore."

Some more jokes about men....

Why don’t men have a midlife crisis?
They remain in their puberty always.

What is the difference between a singles bar for men and a circus?
In the circus the clowns do not talk.

The difference between a man and a dog?
Training a dog takes less time.

Why is sleeping with a man the same as watching a soap?
Exactly when it gets interesting it is over.

Why are blonde jokes that short?
So men can remember them.

What did God say after he made the man?
I can do better!

Why do men want to marry a virgin?
They cannot stand criticism.

Why do men give their penis a name?
Because they do not want a stranger to take all their decisions.

Why is it so hard to find a handsome and sensitive man?
They already have a boyfriend.

How do men sort their underwear?
Dirty and dirty but wearable.

Which book in the world has the least pages?
“What men know about women”.

What is the difference between a man and ET?
E.T. called home.

Why can’t a man fake an orgasm?
He cannot pull such a stupid face on purpose.

When does a woman know her husband is cheating on her?
When he starts to take a shower twice a week.

Why find men it so difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts do not have eyes.

Why do you need 1 million sperm cells to fertilize one egg cell?
Because they do not want to ask where to go to.

What have electric trains and breasts in common?
Both are meant for children, but men play the most with it.

What is the difference between a new man and a new dog?
After a year the dog is still exited when he sees you.

What is the best way to make a man do something?
Telling him he is too old to do that.

What have men and computers in common?
No one understands why that act so strange and they always have not enough memory.