how would tell your love whom u r fall in love?
what would u say?
what should be told while u r speaking with him/her?
what do u feel?
have u ever describe yorslef, your feeling..?
have u ever tried to write something to him/her?
why people change when they r fall in love?
especially i wonder the last quesion
hehe
i dont have any gf but i wonder what people think about it?

I've noticed that Turks generally don't have problem with speaking of love. They learn very fast words such as "I love u" "U r beautiful" or "U r the most beautiful girl in the world" etc in every language. Unfortunately, they are much worse in keeping promises
So, I think, not words u say are important but thing u do and a way u do them.

yes that's true, turkish boys can learn very fast.. but also can change their mind very fast! so be careful

true! and they forget fast too!

sana katilmiyorum..
avaba neden bende o dedigin sorun var ve ben hicbir zaman [1] kişi hariç hiç fall in love olamadım?
kız arkadaşlarım oldu kabull ama hiçbirşey eskinin yerinin tutmadı..

avaba=acaba
sorry..

I knew some Turkish boys and unfortunately they were in the same type: easily forgetting and never keeppiing promises. I know there are exeptions. Always are. But they confirm the rule, maalesef...

Duskahvesi, would you be so kind and translate your message into english? I think that the english-speaking part of this class is more interested in what Turkish men think then the turkish-speaking one . Thank you! We will appreciate that .

i dont agree with you..
i could not change my mind so fastly.. and i have never fall in love again except one girl..
althoug i have had several gf but i could put them instead of one girl..
what am i going to do?
and for the last 1 year i havent had any gf..
...

it would be "could not put"..
sorry again mistake...

Soooooooo very true!

They can easily fall in love and fall out of love as they can easily say "I love you" without any regrets!

I should know from experience since I have been with a few of them and was even married to one

So guard your heart ladies

People, why do you think that everybody says such things about Turkish men? Are they different people? people who are not capable to truly love someone or at least be honest? Do you think that their culture created environment for them that would primarily teach them how to lie? If that's the case then I feel very sorry for those people. They don't know what they have been taken away.

No it's not only about Turkish guys. I could say the same about Italians, Spanish and Egyptians...
But of, course, it doesn't mean taht every man is the same. People are different and there are great boys among Turks (I hope so...)

seticio,
do u have any experience about those nationalities?

Well, I know some Italians... They are really horrible. Another disantwantage about Italians is that they don't wash themselves....
My sister and I hosted one Italian girl. inspite her pink clothes, during two weeks stay she went to bathroom only twice. I know it's not about the topic, sorry for that.
I have friend who had egyptian boyfiend...
I'm not saying all of them are in this type, mut, unfortunately, most of them...

Well thus it's a world characteristic, hehehe, i also disagree (if we are exceptions, the world is full of exceptions)....the question is to try the appropiate person, because, if there is "fast" guys, it's true that also there are "fast" girls, deilmi?

I agree. I'm a very critical person, if speaking about boys (maybe that;s why most of them are afraid of me )

Ok, I'm writing what I'm writing, but truely I like u all guys :*

I have a theory about Turkish boys.

It seems to me that girls on holiday meet (and fall in love with) Turkish boys on holiday. These are the boys I am considering in my theory.

Firstly, the Turkish boys who work in tourist places are often very far from their homes and loved ones. Not always obviously, but mostly. They are also working maybe for up to 7 or 8 months away in the summer. They get lonely (well who wouldn't)- they don't get to meet many Turkish girls in the tourist places and if there were any Turkish girls then their brothers, fathers, uncles etc would be keeping them well away from boys who work in the tourist industry! So..

there you have lots of lonely testosterone charged boys and the only girls they get to meet are tourists.

Secondly, these tourists are only there for an average of 2 weeks. Its pretty obvious (to me anyway) that the reason foreign girls fall for the Turkish boys is that apart from the fact that they are all so handsome, they are also charming and romantic. They have to be because they haven't got long to forge a relationship (average 2 weeks remember).

Thirdly, sex is a driving force. When they go home in the winter to their families, there will be no sex! generally their families would not approve of their lifestyles in the summer so they have to make the most of it while they are away.

when they say 'I love you' they probably mean it at the time, but you have to consider what 'i love you' really means and does it mean something different to the Turkish boys and the tourist girls - I'd say yes it does. Doesn't mean they are lying just means something a bit different. Although of course boys are boys the world over and 'I love you' can simply be the means to an end and you all know to what I am referring!

If a couple manage to go the whole distance relationship thing (very very difficult) then maybe the meaning of 'I love you' changes. There are clearly many Turkish men with non Turkish wives who are quite happy together and who met on holiday.

Turkish boys are handsome, charming and romantic and passionate. I think they mean it (sort of)when they tell you they 'love' you, but don't expect it to be the kind of enduring love that will last once you are out of sight, because they will be in the same lonely position when you go home and will soon be looking for a new girlfriend to 'love'. Anyway, that's my theory for what its worth.

Ur theory is absolutely true, in my opinion, but I didn't meet Turks in such places. They wanted for example go to Poland, so they were looking for Polish girl (u must know that to go to Poland, Turk must get special visa and be oficially invited by a Polish living in Poland) Their testosteron level was obviously veeery high
However, I know also much different Turkish boys, who are normal like everyone and they are really great as just people!

Also according to what u wrote, I heard a story from a fried who fell in love with turkish guy, they decided to be together in a distance relationship, but they were visiting each other very often. After two years they make a decision about living together, so she moved in to his apartment. After about a month he intreoduced her his turkish girlfrien who he'd been meeting for almost three years! What is more, that turkish girl knew about it all the time and she didn't say anything! My friend cound't accept this kind of "triangle" relationship and she went back home...

Hmm... I have heard myself about something like this. I think that in the end, most of the Turkish 'Cassanovas' will marry the turkish girlfriend that they are expected to marry by their families. This is what I also meant about the meaning of the word 'love' - Turkish boys, once they marry, are (to begin with) devoted to their wives and 'love' then has a different meaning. More dutiful somehow. Turkish girls also have different expectations of their husbands it seems to me. They use the word 'love', but there is something about duty. They expect certain behaviours from their husbands and vice versa, but I also know of many failed Turkish (traditional) marriages where the husband has finally run off with another woman after lots of 'womanising' and settled finally into a long lasting relationship with the new woman.

Isn't it sad? It's also or even mainly connected with Muslim religion, where the marriage is not a sacrament but a kind of contract between two people.

Yes, you have put that very well I think. A contract - exactly. You have put it better than me Serticio. That's what I meant about expectations. They both know what to expect because the 'contract' is clear from the start, and I think that in the beginning these contractual obligations are considered to be a kind of 'love'. Not romantic love though. Its sad but interesting. I also know Turkish couples who have this kind of marriage and they are very very happy. I think when it works this kind of marriage has a lot of goodness about it. When a Turkish husband is devoted, kind and sticks to his side of the 'contract' it is a very powerful thing, but I am sad for the women who do not have this type of a husband. it must be very hard for them, especially if they are beaten and kept short of money.

I've been with some Turkish guys and except one, they were all the same and although I liked them, I shouldn't have bothered. I agree with the tourist workers theories, I don't think all Turkish guys are like that but it's true that some are and it's as much down to the way the little girls act when they go out there. I was young and stupid once (god how old do i sound, Im only 20 now!)

Now I'm in love and going to marry a great English guy. My days of falling for Turks are behind me, long behind me. (Also just to clarify, my interest in Turkey as a place began when I was a kid, its not just cos I once had a "turkish boyfriend")

As for the love thing...
If you love someone, just tell them. It's best to do that BUT ALSO...
Make sure you really do love them, make sure you're absolutely sure how you feel because if not, one or both of you could get hurt. Especially if it's your first love.

There are no set rules, I don't claim to be the authority, its just how I see it.

Just treat the one you love in such as way that shows how much you care, be sincere, and be yourself.

well...love...it's a big thing...

I don't know what to say but sometimes it amazes me how strong the power of love can be...sometimes it just takes my breath away...

Oh,dammit....

I have never fell in love,and worse,the words "seni seviyorum" never came out from my mouth together...

why could it be???

To be in love is both the best thing and the worst thing...

You have never before been so vulnerable as you been when you are in love...

Attila, your turn will come! Be careful what you wish for. As someone has said already, being in love is the best thing and also the worst thing.

someone I know very well (a turkish boy actually) has said that

"If you have no girlfriend, then you have a problem. If you have a girlfriend, then you have lots of problems!" This philosophy is bitter sweet and applies to boys as well as girls!

Love can make you crazy. Happy one minute, very sad the next. Up and down. All of your thoughts are about The One. Nothing else matters and they are the first person you think of when you wake up and the last person you think of before you sleep. Your whole existence is ruled by them and their behaviour to you. It is wonderful and terrible at the same time.

Lyndie, I absolutely agree with you!

yes, Lyndie is absolutely right...

Do you think that this is a healthy type of love where you're completely possessed by another person? I'm not sure if you're talking about the first stage of 'being in love' with someone you don't actually know or about the actual feeling of loving someone - for who he/she is, DESPITE his/her flaws, which everybody has by the way. Thinking about someone, missing someone, caring about someone, needing someone, that someone being your priority...etc. is wonderful but being crazy, happy one minute and sad the next doesn't sound like a happy situation. And my WHOLE existence wouldn't be ruled by anyone else but me... I'm not trying to argue with you Lyndie, I know what you mean .

Yes, I'm talking about the 1st stages of 'being in love' - the next is less painful and then ...much more boring! heheheh

Well, if you're not with the right person then it's boring, but if you are with the right person then it's blissful and heavenly.

Of course i was speaking with 'tongue in cheek!' that is to say, I was been ironic!

Love by its very definition cannot be boring if it is real love. But its boring to talk about - once you reach that stage of blissful heavenliness who wants to talk about it?

Its that passionate, painful, heart wrenching time that gives us the most to talk about. This is the time that poets write about, that Ismail YK sings about, that all the great literature is about!

Samson & Delilah! Anthony & Cleopatra! Napolen & Josephine! Heathcliffe & Jayne Ayre (sorry about the English reference there), Would Sylvia Plath have written the 'Bell Jar' if she'd been in that state of bliss and heaven - No Catwoman, I'm thinking that only great passions and the heartbreaking ups and downs of 'being in love' are worth talking about and agonising over! L'amour in other words

I think that nobody talks about the state of bliss and heaven becasue noone really has it (maybe for that reason such momentary passion is so easily taken for the actual love). But this is what all the religions talk about and promise, becasue this is the ultimate state of happiness. For the most part we are not capable of creating such a state, we are weak and fragile, that's why we pray for forgiveness and ultimate acceptance to the world of bliss and joy.
No, I don't think that it's ONLY worth talking about the hearbraking ups and downs. Ups and downs are just moments, the bulk of life is behind them, after them, before them, and I bet you know that there's a lot going on there. But yes of course, those heartbreaking passions are well worth agonizing over, after all they are breaking our hearts!

So true...up's and down's are only moments. But what moments! You can be filled with such happiness one minute that its almost unbearable. Then plunged into the very depths of despair the next. Such intense emotions can disable you from normal living! These are the moments I am talking about. You can't eat, you don't want to sleep, because to do so will mean you can't be thinking about your love, everything becomes meaningless if it doesn't have some bearing on your love!

You listen to the same songs over and over again, because they have taken on some life of their own. The strangest things remind you of HIM/HER. Only you know about these and other people think you have gone mad! Those sudden memories that make you smile to yourself!

Attila! Still wish you'd been in love?

Oh yeah, no doubt about that! I think you know something about it .

lyndie, nice text

The major question must be:"How do we love" or "what love means"

love is just a word...How can you be so sure that the others think the same thing!

Hey,during the era of my childhood,I was always thinking that the life is perfectly relative,that you maybe living as a thing called as "human",with arms and legs,"what" is able to speak,but how did you know the "person" before you is living the same "thing"???maybe "it" is a thing with a shapeless body and floats vacantly in the air,and seeing you the same,and "it" thinks that you live the life which "it" has been living???can't it be possible ???extremely paranoid I think!!!Maybe I am not putting on the letter buttons on my keyboard now!

So,here is my motto:

"If you show yellow to a colorblind,and ask what was the color,he says 'yellow' but he sees green"

A horrible thought!!Do not think those kind of things!!!

"Life" is only made of perceptions!!

I have been in love b4, and it is the most powerful feeling ever, it makes you disbelive things which you would normally believe, it makes you say and do things you could never imagine yourself doing.

But it is like being intoxicated by someone, their smell makes you feel happy, even when they are not there.

When you are apart it tears at you, you feel empty and nothing except that person can cure you.

I try to tell them exactly how I am feeling, if you feel silly you dont mean it, so don't say it!!!

NEVER say "I love you" if you don't mean it with every ounce of your soul.

When your partner says it back you will know if it is the truth or not!!!

Well thats my feelings, hope you enjoyed them.
Love
Liz
(widdley)

I am more than agree with Lyndie.I think you could be exelent psychologist(if not).I like your thinking.

one thing I would like to add, is that when you do find love and you know that it is real and true, embrace it with open arms, don't let it go and nurture it until it grows into something warm, special and never ending

Yes! So true and important. I love your comment widdley.

thank you, its my pleasure to add to the forum, I like to think I speak from the heart!.
Liz

I love the way you think , Widdley.

Love is the greatest component of life.It unifies everything.It attracts and draws to us all that is good.Through love we become more aware and responsive to the needs of humanity. We see the onenes, comonality.We can begin with our family, friends, and coworkers.We can love them even if we think they have done something wrong.We can be there for them.That is how we demonstrate our love.Love is the closest thing we have on this earth to heaven.Without love we have nothing.We cease to exist.
Sorry Duskahvesi,I did not talk about romantic love.

I try to speak my mind, sometimes its not a good thing, but I think it makes me a more honest person.

People appreciate it normally, and love is something you just can't lie about. Theres no point, it won't get you anywhere. It will only leave you hurting or someone else hurting.

I've been on both ends, I lied once and came off worse and I have been very badly lied to and learnt a lesson from it.

You reep what you sow.

Liz

i agree with you but u cant repet same sentences all the time
like a parrot
(my last sentece was joke) may be someone could object to this again...

Love is a choice.Its also work, and as someone pointed out, it can be very painful.But its worth it.