I am not normally one for pooring out my problems, but I have read advice you have all given before and it is always GOOD ADVICE!

I met my boyfriend towards the end of my holiday in Turkey and he was not like the the other guys who had approached me. He was slightly older than them and was not so forward but always coming over to see me, complementing on my smile, etc. and winning me over very slowly and very romantically until I agreed to be his girlfriend.

When I returned from my holiday he rang every hour, sent sms messages all day and became angry if I did not answer the phone or return some of his messages. I feel, also, that he 'pushed' me into saying that I loved him - asking me again and again until I said it. For most of the time I do feel that I love him - we laugh together and we tell eachother all about our lives and I think he is wonderful. The trouble is that things are moving so fast and the more he pushes me the more I take a step back! I sent a message to him the other day (I had it translated on this website!) saying that I did not want him to plan any future for us yet and that when I go back to see him in Turkay in February it is to spend time together, enjoy eachother, have fun.

He seems to have completely ignored this message and, when I spoke to him just a while ago, he told me that he has told his mother about us and we have her blessing, that we will get married as soon as I say I am ready, that we can live in Istabul, Antalaya, Bodrum or UK - it is up to me, oh...and that we will have two children - a boy and a girl!!!!!!

This is TOO MUCH for me. I am not a hard person - in fact I am often accused of being over-romantic, but this is just too much! He has occasionally mentioned lately that he has no money at the moment and cannot find a winter job....am I right to be a bit suspicious about that?!!! By marrying me quick his problems would be solved, eh!

I am not sure if to carry on with this relationship. If he is sincere and being honest with me, then it is too much for me, but I will lose him and I DO feel so much for him!

Wise friends - what shall I do?????

don't make yourself fool. leave him at once. all that you should have to be done this. believe me and trust me

I think our male friend knows what he's saying... And besides that - love is not supposed to hurt!

But of course you have to do it the way that feels right to you. It might take you some time to realize how things really are. Sometimes it's good to leave 'love' out of it and ask yourself: is he a good/caring person?, is he a reliable and mature person?, is he serious about his future/life?, is he making effort to understand and support you?, does he listen to you?, is he faithful to you?, is he open minded?... etc.

What I mean is that you need to answer this question for yourself. You said that he hurts you with the things he does and that you are suspicious about his motivation.
Why do you love him if he doesn't listen to you...

Yes, sorry Catwoman I read your message again and understand. He has not hurt my feelings, but you are right, he doesn't really listen to me. Hmmmm I really don't know!!!

my ass make me say that. take my advice and you'll see you wont be sorry about him or/and yourself.

I think he just knows better what men want and think. And he might have had or seen friends or aquantances like that. It is something we girls don't get to see.

There is nothing in this world as wonderful as falling in love, but when we let ourselves fall in love without knowing the other person - we only open up for making ourselves hurt. And that have so very little to do with the other person being good or bad, I believe.

I don´t believe in love at first sight... I think that I only sense a huge attraction at first...which can be physical or psychological and respond to many things in me. To fall in love for real requires a knowledge about the person I fall in love with...if not I will only fall in love with my own reflection and my own desire - and my own wish to fall in love.

I think that it is easy to get confused by a normal (maybe inmense) attraction and want it to be love...since falling in love is so wonderful! I don´t know about you in this case...so I am not the one to give advices...but I can recognize being in similar situations in the past...