I know someone who is married to someone....and the man basically needs a wife who cooks like Delia Smith, looks like Liz Hurley, drinks like a fish, 'goes' (I am being polite) like a rabbit and has a dad with a motorbike shop! Her reward should she exist would be to be married to someone who likes to keep all the money and hand it out when it suits hm. Never thanks or praises her for the good things she does, but shouts and screams and complains if something goes wrong, only bathes once per week and just comes and goes as it pleases him....

and...I forgot to add is English........

Well she needs to kick that one right out of bed- baths once a week he'd be sleeping in the garden shed if he was mine!!!
They have to at least smell nice even if they're not too good in bed (they can always be taught a thing or two in that department he he he)

I don't think there will be sooo much of a problem if we, women, (ohh how i love to generalize every now and then ) would accept the fact that 'our men' need to feel powerful.
I don't wanna cook and wash 24/7, but I'm not aiming for a fulltime job with good salary. There should be balance. And balance doesnt mean you do both 50% of the household. Balance means your happy with the situation because you feel youre not on your own about things.
Sometimes i feel i love him so much, that i would subject myself to him, that I'd be his slave if that's what he wants from me. But that is love: i feel i'm able to do that, because i know he won't ask that from me.
I once said: You have so much power over me, will you promise me never to use that power against me, askim? . He answered: Do you respect me? I said: Ofcourse i do!He smiled and said: If i ever use my power over you against you, would you still respect me?I said that I didnt think i would.. He said: If i loose your respect, I'll loose my power. And you'll be a free strong girl
I think he's damn right about that!

And.. their power.. they only have as much power as we give them. So in the end, aren't we the powerful ones?!

Those with power have never been keen on giving away their privileges, no matter if we are talking kings, dictators, white coloured, or men... They have always had well formulated arguments to why they should hold on to their privileges.

In my country we have a say: the people have the government it deserve. And I don’t mean to be cynical (I am well aware of the difficulties), but as long as there are women accepting to be oppressed…there will be men taking advantage.

And I am not talking about love… Because love hasn’t got anything to do with this, as far as I am concerned.

The human being has the intellectual capacity to change her/his way of thinking. We can change...and as a matter of fact, a lot has changed over the past 100 years to the majority of women allowed to speek in this forum. But we have to go further... And having this kinds of conversations is one way, I think!

I have been reading many posts and have to consider myself quite blessed. My Turkish boyfriend has proposed and we are to be married next year. I work full time from my home and he is an engineer. We will reside in the US. We are both from different religions, and have talked all of that out. He is old fashioned in many ways but modern also. He respects my intelligence, and I his. He is very caring, calm, and respectful. I like making him feel like a man. I see nothing wrong with that. I life the fact that his family is very important to him, and he accepted my son as his own. The man is extremely romantic and my dream come true. I just wanted you to realize that there are many Turkish men who fall in the middle and are not so modern or so old-fashioned, and I wish you all the best with your relationships.

turkeylvr

Thanks for sharing your experience and I am happy for you that you have found the man of your dreams!

In a conversation like this, where there are many points of views displayed, I guess it is normal that things are painted a bit in black and white to make our ideas more easy to follow. But that does not change the fact that in 2005 there are a lot of women in this world (not all) being oppressed by men, and that many of those men (not all) even uses love as an argument for their abuse.

And your happiness is not an argument in that debate I think - it is more of an example on how you are living your relationship so far... I wish you all the best!