This post unfortunatly was all too familiar for me. I dated a turk for a long time, there was no language barrier though. He was here studying university and we communicated quite well. I joined this class so that I could learn more about him and his culture. Also so that I may communicate with his family. The thing is, we were REALLY serious. I even went all the way to Turkey with him and met A LOT of his family...parents, brothers even grandmother. I really saw a future with him, marriage even. Then one day, we fight and he just deleted me like i was nothing. Now , dont' get me wrong, there are men all over the world that do this and are just plain a$$'s but why do I feel like most turks are so easy to forget? Why is everything so black and white? I feel as if my heart was just stolen, used and left to be thrown away. There are just too many stories of this happening. My heart is so broken and I feel like I have been conned or something. I dont know I just thought I would write this, perhaps to find some solace somewhere.

I'm sorry to read all that. I'm sorry you were hurt by him. But you are right...this is not general to just Turkish men, it happens all over the world whether you are English, Turkish, Greek, Russian etc and women can also behave in the same way! Good relationships can sometimes turn sour and it's awful when that happens. Sometimes it's as a result of something, sometimes it just fades!

Did you ever speak to him again after that initial fight? How do you know he simply deleted you? Perhaps he was just angry after the argument, stormed off and THEN felt the hurt when a relationship ends.

I don't know if this helps any...I'm just trying to offer a bit of help. I know you were hurt, but try and stand tall and live a happy life!

I know the last thing you want to hear is that this happnes all over the world..and it does. But, I do have to say that it seems men from that culture seem to regard everything as this or that and black and white. I go to a turkish university right now and my best friend who is here and also an American is dating a turk right now. From what I have percieved of him, he isn't very apt to learning about how she deals with things....it's either his way( the way he was taught was right) or no way. If only he could realize that its ok to mix ideas and perhaps see things from her side as well. Just because her upbringing was different from his, doesn't mean either is wrong or right. Maybe this is any issue lots of women are facing. Again I am just a spectator in all of this, but I really hope things work out for you. No matter who the guy is, breaking up is never easy, even if it's mutual.

Thanks for the kind words. I know i'll get through this, i have to.
Unfortunatly we havnt spoken. I heard he went to Turkey the very next day. I know he is back in town for school so I sent him a heartfelt letter...handwritten and all, unfortunatly with no response.

And the more I think about it, why should I waste all this energy over someone who is so easy to delete me? I deserve to be treated with respect and love and understanding..at least compassion and humanity. If he really loved me and wanted to be with me...wouldn't he have already tried to contact me? I'm not going to beg, it just wasn't that kind of fight. I just keep hearing the words " he's just not into you" reverberating through my inner conscience.
I guess it's just so confusing how one morning the world seems so bright when you are kissing the man you love and hours later, like night and day, you're left heartbroken, confused and utterly alone. My heart goes out to all the women experiencing this.
I still love Turkey and look forward to visitng again and I still have the warmest memories of all the wonderfula places and people I experienced. Still, I dont' think I will ever gove another Turkish man a second look.

You sound like you are standing tall already! I'm glad to hear it. Everyone deserves respect and you must have respect for yourself!

Keep going hun...I know it hurts sometimes but I think you're strong enough to deal with it!

I just think its a shame how some people have to have digs and laugh at other peoples misfortunes..This is a great website and some peoples nasty comments just spoil the atmosphere..People are entitled to post threads for translations as long as they are not offending anyone..If people do not wish to translate then that is fine also why do people have to be so cruel???? Maybe some things are of importance to 1 person but not to another..thats the way life is ..Doesnt mean people have to be so petty.

Hey Tommysbar,

I completely agree with you, if transalations are such an issue then those with the "issue" should avoid that part of the forum.