You're very funny people, I said it just to see how you would attack on me, and I was right. I was kidding.

Good continuation with your "normal" relationships where you need no translators, but what I don't understand is why it bothers you so much that some people have that kind of relationships you don't approve. Private is something we determine, and as long as they don't publish their video making love, it doesn't bother me seeing their text messages.

I'm kind of sitting on the fence a bit here because I'm totally new to this website and don't want to create waves but...

While I agree that the same requests come up time and time again and there's a lot of holiday romances out there what if their husbands/boyfriends SPEAK english perfectly well but simply have difficulty in writing it. Perhaps it's just easier for their partners to read a text if it's in Turkish?
My husband is in that situation. He speaks English quite clearly but has a couple of problems reading and writing it so I combine english texts with the odd Turkish one too. Plus it shows I'm willing to embrace his language as he has embraced mine and I do learn from the translations.

However, I also appreciate that some members may simply be using the board as a free translation service without any inclination to learn which is not what this site is all about. They find themselves a bit unstuck when their partners reply in Turkish and they must come back to the boards.

At the end of the day, despite personal opinions, we can't really use these boards to judge relationships and cast assumptions as it would eventually have a knock-on effect for other learners.

Oooh...I said a lot there!

Just for the sake of privacy, -which I care about too-, you will almost suggest them not to fall in love with one another as long as they don't share a common language to communicate. I am sure anyone as well as they themselves would wish they shared a common language, but the actual fact, their reality, is different. So, what should they really do? Not to fall in love with one another?

(I am also a private translator, and for a long time I have been translating personal e-mails of a couple. And I don't see any noteworthy difference between being read by only a third person and by tons of people on the net. Because in either case your pure privacy can't be mentioned- if this is the case!)

Well, we used to moan too about these translation requests some time ago, but then they were spread all over the place. Since Admin created another message board for them, they are not so annoying anymore. You can simply ignore them.

It's sad to see people who are in a relationship without being able to speak a common language. And I have always wondered how they can ever know eachother well enough, when their discussions are based on a couple of sentences and these after being translated by someone else. However, this is love. It can move mountains they say. Who knows, maybe they are right

You can't deny love no matter who it is with...whether its from your home country or a thousand miles away. It's not something you can control. However you can only hope that this site will help people overcome any language barriers no matter how severe and make their relationships that little bit easier.

This post unfortunatly was all too familiar for me. I dated a turk for a long time, there was no language barrier though. He was here studying university and we communicated quite well. I joined this class so that I could learn more about him and his culture. Also so that I may communicate with his family. The thing is, we were REALLY serious. I even went all the way to Turkey with him and met A LOT of his family...parents, brothers even grandmother. I really saw a future with him, marriage even. Then one day, we fight and he just deleted me like i was nothing. Now , dont' get me wrong, there are men all over the world that do this and are just plain a$$'s but why do I feel like most turks are so easy to forget? Why is everything so black and white? I feel as if my heart was just stolen, used and left to be thrown away. There are just too many stories of this happening. My heart is so broken and I feel like I have been conned or something. I dont know I just thought I would write this, perhaps to find some solace somewhere.

I'm sorry to read all that. I'm sorry you were hurt by him. But you are right...this is not general to just Turkish men, it happens all over the world whether you are English, Turkish, Greek, Russian etc and women can also behave in the same way! Good relationships can sometimes turn sour and it's awful when that happens. Sometimes it's as a result of something, sometimes it just fades!

Did you ever speak to him again after that initial fight? How do you know he simply deleted you? Perhaps he was just angry after the argument, stormed off and THEN felt the hurt when a relationship ends.

I don't know if this helps any...I'm just trying to offer a bit of help. I know you were hurt, but try and stand tall and live a happy life!

I know the last thing you want to hear is that this happnes all over the world..and it does. But, I do have to say that it seems men from that culture seem to regard everything as this or that and black and white. I go to a turkish university right now and my best friend who is here and also an American is dating a turk right now. From what I have percieved of him, he isn't very apt to learning about how she deals with things....it's either his way( the way he was taught was right) or no way. If only he could realize that its ok to mix ideas and perhaps see things from her side as well. Just because her upbringing was different from his, doesn't mean either is wrong or right. Maybe this is any issue lots of women are facing. Again I am just a spectator in all of this, but I really hope things work out for you. No matter who the guy is, breaking up is never easy, even if it's mutual.

Thanks for the kind words. I know i'll get through this, i have to.
Unfortunatly we havnt spoken. I heard he went to Turkey the very next day. I know he is back in town for school so I sent him a heartfelt letter...handwritten and all, unfortunatly with no response.

And the more I think about it, why should I waste all this energy over someone who is so easy to delete me? I deserve to be treated with respect and love and understanding..at least compassion and humanity. If he really loved me and wanted to be with me...wouldn't he have already tried to contact me? I'm not going to beg, it just wasn't that kind of fight. I just keep hearing the words " he's just not into you" reverberating through my inner conscience.
I guess it's just so confusing how one morning the world seems so bright when you are kissing the man you love and hours later, like night and day, you're left heartbroken, confused and utterly alone. My heart goes out to all the women experiencing this.
I still love Turkey and look forward to visitng again and I still have the warmest memories of all the wonderfula places and people I experienced. Still, I dont' think I will ever gove another Turkish man a second look.

You sound like you are standing tall already! I'm glad to hear it. Everyone deserves respect and you must have respect for yourself!

Keep going hun...I know it hurts sometimes but I think you're strong enough to deal with it!

I just think its a shame how some people have to have digs and laugh at other peoples misfortunes..This is a great website and some peoples nasty comments just spoil the atmosphere..People are entitled to post threads for translations as long as they are not offending anyone..If people do not wish to translate then that is fine also why do people have to be so cruel???? Maybe some things are of importance to 1 person but not to another..thats the way life is ..Doesnt mean people have to be so petty.

Hey Tommysbar,

I completely agree with you, if transalations are such an issue then those with the "issue" should avoid that part of the forum.

Without reading back through all the comments here, I just am not understanding why the word cruel keeps popping up? What has been said that is cruel?

Yes, the content of many of the translations is truly heart breaking but had I not read them, maybe I woudnt have felt so alone. As unfortunate as it may be, it was nice to know that there was someone else that I could relate to. REgardless though, it is diturbing to know how frequently these heartbreaks occur and I know first hand that even if you significant other speaks perfect english, the point just seems to get across much better in his language, hence my reasoning for posting my dirty laundry on occasion.
On another hand, however, I'm just a name here. No one knows me personally or anything other than what I post on this site.

exactly my point too I am just a name on here i dont use anybodys real name Im not that silly..I just dont understand what the big deal is some people really do need these translations

Yes it does those who wish to ask for translations regarding their personal lives so be it and those ones who dont want to know about someones personal life.. just dont bother reading them simple conclusion really.

hello, i am turkish man. i was with American girl almost for a year. than we had fight and we broke up, the next day i went to Turkey, because i was so sick of from everything i had here in USA.
firstof all , she was lying me too much. i guess she does to everyone. she cheated on me with her ex, than i could never trust her. and the last time , when i was looikng her myspace i saw she added a few new guy, than i sent them mail and asked them, how u guys met?
all of them wrote me back and they told me she added them, she said them , u look familiar to me........ kind of this things.
when i said that to her, she said no , they are lying to u, they add me.
my point is all of the guys on myspace lier,but my ex is not lier. this is not possible, all of them said that she add them, so i didnt believe my ex, and we broken up.
And this is the not first fight of us because of lying.
she was lying to much, she was selfish. and after she cheated on me with her ex, i could never trust her again, i had to end this that time, but i ended atleast now.

I can't believe MYspace was just brought up. What is it about that website that kills relationships? I use that website to keep in touch with friends back in the states, not to meet men. I know a lot of my girlfriends are the same way. The funny thing is though, that ALOT of turkish men i know here, use it as a new arena to meet women. They scan profiles and randomly email girls from across the planet expecting who knows what.
Anyway when i had a boyfriend it was such an issue, it was exhausting to keep fighting over it.

It was such an issue for my last relationship too. Honestly, I can keep in touch with my friends in other ways...next time I will delete myspace. It's just not worth it.

plus, when i told her that i talked with the guy she is friend with on myspace, she asked me why did u talk with him, i said that , i can talk who i want with, its my civil rights. than she TOLD ME CIVIL RIGHTS ONLY FOR AMERICAN. that broke my heart too much, than i said my self, u know what, this relationship is so wrong.

istanbulrox, i agree with u, and ur nex boyfriend will be luckier than the old one.

Thats usually how it happens, except in my case all my ex boyfriends are perfect in all the ways i wish they were with me to their new gf's....
I'm like the teacher because they all call me and tell me how much i taught them how to be a good bf...sux for me huh?

Don't I know it Istanbulrox.

haha whats that saying...Those who can't do...teach?

it should not happen in realationship. actually it should not heppen in any case, no bosy can tell to a foreign person that CIVIL RIGHT ONLY FOR AMERICAN. this is so wrong, and she was my girlfriend, she should be the last person who says that to me.

Lakiz, Dont u agree it was biggest wrong thing u can tell in relationship?

I can't really say...i mean i have no idea in what context that was said or what the whole argument was about. I'm sorry. Maybe you should ask your ex-gf? I mean if she was your gf you obviously saw something in her, was she the type of person to say such mean things?

yeah, every time we fight she was so mean.
but the thing is , she asked me , why did u talk with the guy i am friend on myspace than , i told its my civil rights , i can talk with everyone, than she told , civil right only for american. i thing no matter wht no body should say this each other.
basicly she said that because she doesnt want me to talk on myspace with her guys. because believe me, u are using myspace to kepp in thouch with ur friend but my ex is using to find a guy, i saw her mails a few times, but she always lied about it.

Thats a bummer. Sorry about that Turk Teacher.

yeah, u r right, u r american too, buy i know, u would never say that, u r not that bad
take care istanbulrox.
i know , u wanna go turkey, and stay away from people like my ex.becsause u r gonna be foreign over ther just like how i am here. so its always better to stay awya from bad people, take care istanbulrox

Thanks for the advice...but you should be careful wherever you travel.

i'm so hating myspace

Not only myspace, but also hi5, icq, tagged, etc, etc. I say most of them can even sabotage some of the most loving of relationships unless you avoid going into these sites.

GUYS u SHOULD NOT hate myspace ot other sane type sites, the only thing , u SHOULD know HOW to USE IT. I MEAN ,u should keep in touch with ur friend and that stuff. but people the most of people use it for as a friend finder, fucker finder. this is so wrong, people advirtise them self there. if u know how u supposed to use it , there is no problem. but there is alot of guys writing mail to u , and trying to flort with u, u should just delete them, if u care about ur relationship. if u dont care about ur relationship and if u wanna flort with the boys or girls on myspace than end ur bullshit relationship. atleast dont break ur partner's heart.

Myspace is considered to be a site here in the U.S. for teenagers not adults. Yes, I do agree that it is how you use the site. However, just like anything else it can be addictive even for the most level headed person. I think for some people they are living dual lives and in a fairytale. I just recently saw a profile of a myspace page and it was pretty much what I thought. A bunch of kids with explicit pictures and too much time on their hands. No wonder kids are becoming obese. I guess if it was used for the proper intent, to contact friends ect.. it would serve the purpose. However, I just think it's another site that opens doors to the freaks in this world and puts our kids in compromising positions. What ever happen to phone calls and personal letters?