General/Off-topic |
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TURKISH PEOPLE VIEWS ON DIVORCE
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| 10. |
10 May 2007 Thu 04:19 am |
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Quoting kgaff76: I am turkish male, I think divorce very sad for everyone involved. To I think your husband maybe is sad bout some of the things you did say before on him, like about how he showed you so much hate and you really loved somebody other than him.
Maybe you should not have said thise kind things bout him and he would not be getting divorce.
You act like sad poor girl now, but you saying one year and two years ago you wish you are not with him.
Your main question though is what about divorcing, I think marriage is work he should be trying also, but we do not know his reason and he must have some. Maybe because you said you had a true love before and left him for an idiot (your husband). Maybe he reads these kind things? I will hate my wife if she is saying it about me like that. :-S |
erm...where did she say that she loved someboday other than her husband??
how do you know this?
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| 11. |
10 May 2007 Thu 04:23 am |
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| 12. |
10 May 2007 Thu 04:24 am |
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I didnt thats my point ..i think hes referring to a topic that was headed my story which was not me ..but was the story of a friend oh well people make mistakes
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| 13. |
10 May 2007 Thu 04:34 am |
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Quoting cat_leo: My ex-husband did the same and we knew each other for more then 3 yrs before we married too and lived in the USA after marriage for 2 yrs, after a while he also said he wanted to go back home to visit his mom and friends. He said he be back within a month, but instead stayed out there for 4 months!!! Of course we started to also have problems when he got back and after an arguement one night he admitted to having an affair with some turkish woman he met through one of his 'so called friends' whom had introduced them knowing he was married because he knew that this woman liked him! He friends were also the problem, they encouraged him to fool around since 'the wife is not around and so far away!' |
I am wondering, if you don't mind to share... did you live by "western" standards with your husband? Was he an educated man? Did he come from an open-minded family? Looking at the relationships in retrospect, do you see warning signs that you should have taken more seriously? What's your explanation of the events? Thank you...
Quoting cat_leo: Now I don't want anyone here giving me their 2 cents on how 'not all turkish men are like this' but until you have been in my shoes I don't want to hear anyone tell me different about how I should feel about turkish men!!! |
Thanks so much for saying this! I feel like most people here just refuse to hear this!
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| 14. |
10 May 2007 Thu 06:21 am |
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This is a good case to show why not to trust the guys easily!
Quoting tommysbar: Hi I was just wondering what Turkish peoples views on divorce are...Im a young English woman who is married to a 24 year old Turkish man..we have been together 5 years married 3 and half years and have a young child together. We met in the Uk and were very happy until recently we started to have a few arguments over the amount of time he was spending away from home..and for the fact he booked a holiday to go to turkey to see his family without taking me and our child..I was not happy about this and told him that if he went it would hurt me so much because he had not included me in his plans..however he went not for the week that he told me but for almost 3 weeks..he didnt ring once whilst he was there..when he finally arrived back in england he told me our marriage was over..since then he hasnt been home ..and is going to see a solicitor to divorce I am very confused and would just like to know what turkish peoples views on divorce are. Thank you |
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| 15. |
10 May 2007 Thu 11:43 am |
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he comes from a small village not educated..we lived in england for 5 years together..
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| 16. |
10 May 2007 Thu 12:45 pm |
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The first thing that strikes me about this man is how young he was to be in a serious relationship, married and with a child. No excuse for him running off. But as already mentioned, there are always two sides to a story and I would guess he felt trapped and could not express himself in English to explain.
But as I have said in other threads, if I was in his position and knew you were putting your story here for everyone to read, then I would have left too.
I personally think this is something that you have to find a way of sorting out without using this as a translation service for all your problems. And I dont mean that to be cruel and I dont know what other methods of communication you are using.
Have you tried to visit him in Turkey since he left? It is something I would have gone out of my to do.
There is no answer here I am afraid, but the anwser only lies with the two of you.
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| 17. |
10 May 2007 Thu 12:47 pm |
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Quoting tommysbar: he comes from a small village not educated..we lived in england for 5 years together.. |
I'm sorry I don't think that what he did was right but I have some ideas/theories on why it might have happened.
If he's from a small village then his family/friends may have a lot more influence on him (to do things or to find a turkish woman etc.) Or maybe the way you act and your attitude is not in line with how the turkish women act in the small village. Maybe those turkish women are more conservative and less opinionated or vocal? Again I'm speculating...but it sounds like those could be some of the reasons. Is he happy in the UK, if not, then he might want to go back?
I think the only way to find out for sure why he wants a divorce is to go straight to the source and ASK HIM. Good luck and I hope things work out for you.
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| 18. |
10 May 2007 Thu 01:16 pm |
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Quoting cat_leo: Now I don't want anyone here giving me their 2 cents on how 'not all turkish men are like this' but until you have been in my shoes I don't want to hear anyone tell me different about how I should feel about turkish men!!! |
Quoting catwoman: Thanks so much for saying this! I feel like most people here just refuse to hear this! |
It seems they are the remarks of a person who sounds s/he has failed to succeed in going beyond the early cognitive developmental stages which fall into the age of 0-3. In developmental and learning psychology generalization is prior to distinction.
A kid aged 0-3 thinks any person wearing a white coat is bad and s/he is afraid of any person in a white coat as s/he has had experience of an injection before.
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| 19. |
10 May 2007 Thu 01:31 pm |
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Hi libra lady thanks for your reply as i have stated in earlier posts the thread that goes back to 2005 ..is not about me and my husband ...sadly its a story of friends life which we both decided to post she left her husband a while ago.. again sadly there are so many women in my situation..I agree its right to hear both sides of the story but I can obviously only put my view across..Yes he is young but I am even younger..I didnt run away from my responsibilities and I dont think to say he maybe felt trapped condones anything..If he was old enough to have a child and get married then I think he should be mature enough to stay commited. It seems to me as soon as he got the visa he desperately needed and as soon as he had the chance to go back to see his family ..I was of no importance to him basically I had served my purpose.You obviously havent read my thread correctly as he is not in Turkey.... As for not being able to express himself ...well we could look at that from my side aswell..I use the tranlation service because it is a very good service and helps me a lot ...If people dont want to translate my threads then that is fine but I am very appreciative for everybodys help...I think I would be in a far worse situation if I hadnt been able to use this translation service.Im not trying to say he is a monster I just cant understand why he would want to break up a happy family .
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| 20. |
10 May 2007 Thu 01:50 pm |
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I stand corrected.
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