Like everyone else has said: don't be pessimistic!
I think that relationships between a turk and a western foreigner have tough odds for cultural and possibly geographical reasons and I would never advice anyone to engage in this kind of relationship because it's really hard, but it's definitely possible.

I'd like to think that I'm a perfect example of a success story Well, we've been together for 3 years now, married since october 2005, and we have gone through some really tough times but our bond has proved to be unbreakable. Now ther may be some of you who think that we're too young to be sure it's going to last and yadda yadda but I swear we're going to prove you wrong. Despite our cultural differences we have the same outlook and dreams for life so I'd say that being so young has been a huge plus for us because we have helped form eachother into who we are today. Our problems regarding visa, place to stay, prejudices, distance (basically everything that society has thrown against us) have only made us closer and we couldn't care less what everyone else thinks about us. Monogamy (agh there's a certain word for something like this in turkish but I can't remember it) is extremely important for both of us and I think the problem for many relationships between turks and foreigners is that they have met under very "loose" circumstances, they sometimes don't have a sense of commitment and genuine trust or empathy so their foundation is not very solid. Of course, others are simply unlucky.

when i started "reading/following" those sad stories i told my husband about it. He told me not to read as it may affect me, us. And he keeps wondering how the relationship went so far if they can't communicate with each other with all those translations going on. He just can't get it.
Its hard enough marrying somebody of different personality, culture, religion, beliefs then you add communication to that. Relationship is not an easy thing. No guarantees. Whether you marry a turkish guy or any other guy for that fact. Marriage is a two-way street.
Karen don't give up. Be cautious thats fine but don't give up. Their stories are not your story. Their life is not your life. We do whatever we can to make the relationship work and hope for the best. Hope and pray. hard.
Good luck.

I know there are a lot of stories about relationships with Turkish men falling apart...but you must be careful not to generalise.

Relationships can end whether you are English, American, Turkish, Greek, Russian...ANY nationality. People who have been together for 30 years or more can still come to the end.

It's not just about relationships with Turkish men. I think it's important that women do not compare their relationship to those they read about on message boards; whilst it can be a comfort it can also cast doubts which would not otherwise surface! Your relationship is personal to you.

You all are very right, guess I was just getting a bit nervous after reading some of these stories :-S
Since me and my bf didn't meet under "loose circumstances" and took our relationship slow, and have been a couple for a few years I guess I really shouldn't compare it to others. After all he on his own restores my faith. I broke my ankle yesterday and the way he caters to me like a sick child warms my soul enough to know that he loves me as much as I love him. It would be nice to not have these odds against us but I suppose it builds a solid foundation.
Anyway, without going on and on, I'll just say thanks to you guys for the kind words. Mheart72, Elisa, Melatyagirl, Azade, and catwomen (hope I didn't forget someone). Happy mothers day!

Karekin04, though my successstory hasnt passed a decade yet, I know what you are takling about. I came accross the same kind of stories on internet, and wondered if i was making a right decision to leave my own country at such a young age in which the chances for a good life were right in front of me.

I realized that the times I was upset about these stories, were the worst times in our relationship. Suddenly my faith was gone, on behalf of someone I dont know at all, whose relationship may have ended for much more different reasons than he/she told on internet. Kadir realized my weakness and it hurt him very much.

Now, I have been here for around 8 months, and the biggest problem in our relationship is me: being unexperienced about love, suddenly having to start a life in a country that is strange yet so known to me, in a life where i live with many uncertainties just for the day. My biggest support is Kadir, and I can tell with honesty: its a miracle he's still able to stand me

Also, the life I learnt here, is very different from in the stories. Being around Kadir a lot, I also have many male friends. I think I can say with honesty that none of them is capable of doing what the men did in the stories. They are more modern and good-mannered than many men i know in holland.

Maybe we have not passed a decade yet, but the first steps make the foundation to reach that decade and more, and İ think ours is a successtory. You must not forget that a relationship between two different cultures is always hard. I am not saying harder than any other relationship, but from different angles you live different problems. It does not depend on the culture where youre from if you can handle this: it depends on whether your strong enough.

I hope time will proove I am strong enough, because I can say Kadir definitely is.

I think all the success stories shared by women here only show how strong, mature and smart they are. It really, seriously makes me wonder where thoughts like "it's a miracle that he can put up with me", or "I hope I will be strong enough" are coming from? I think you girls need to look in the mirror and appreciate yourselves more. You are also "putting up" with your men from time to time, it's a two-way street! That's a normal thing in a relationship. No need to down-value yourself saying how much he's "putting up" with you.

And Deli_kizin questioning her strength... that just doesn't sound right (it's more like an oxymoron), I don't even know you very well and I can see that you are very brave and strong. It's ok to have moments of doubt... sometimes they give us the right signals and sometimes it's a reminder that we're human.. . And I hope you don't believe for a moment that men don't have them either (except that they are "not supposed" to show weakness).