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help understanding turkish man
(144 Messages in 15 pages - View all)
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10.       MrX67
2540 posts
 25 Aug 2007 Sat 03:51 pm

theres a saying in Turkish ,we say ''Ne şeytanı gör,ne selavat getir''and i believe that thats a big challenge and courage to get very closer with someone who comes from veryyyyyyyyyyyy different culture,sure love fix many things,but its not skilfull all always

11.       kat007
95 posts
 25 Aug 2007 Sat 04:14 pm

I think most Turkish men are possessive and jealous people. If you don't believe me go look for english girlfriends of Turkish men. It's a support group, lol haha for girls to deal with their Turkish boyfriends. Yeah! And everyone always whines about how controlling they can be.

My boyfriend always says "you're mine, totally, only mine" lol And then he says "I'm yours askim, bitanem."

A little possessive and jealous is ok, but telling you what to eat, do or wear or go...those things are kind of going too far. Which ever thing you don't like you should talk about it and mention it to him otherwise he will ASSUME it's ok with you and keep doing it. Sometimes when my bf acts a certain way I don't like I talk to him about it until he stops it (even if I have to tell him 3 times).

12.       MrX67
2540 posts
 25 Aug 2007 Sat 04:24 pm

Quoting kat007:

I think most Turkish men are possessive and jealous people. If you don't believe me go look for english girlfriends of Turkish men. It's a support group, lol haha for girls to deal with their Turkish boyfriends. Yeah! And everyone always whines about how controlling they can be.

My boyfriend always says "you're mine, totally, only mine" lol And then he says "I'm yours askim, bitanem."

A little possessive and jealous is ok, but telling you what to eat, do or wear or go...those things are kind of going too far. Which ever thing you don't like you should talk about it and mention it to him otherwise he will ASSUME it's ok with you and keep doing it. Sometimes when my bf acts a certain way I don't like I talk to him about it until he stops it (even if I have to tell him 3 times).

there r some rules about their gf for the traditional Turkish men,,,some of emm>>>>his gf can't go to bars alone or with her friends,she can't wear much decolty,she can't spend time at out whenever she wish (only a few of em which i remember for now ) if thats jealousy or to be possesive,thats really good to be

13.       xkirstyx
363 posts
 25 Aug 2007 Sat 04:34 pm

I agree with what MrX67 said about different cultures not always being so easy, so many people ask for translations on here saying that all the obstacles etc. are so hard but as long as they love eachother then love will conquer all. I do not agree with this though, sharing your life with someone takes a lot more than love and how you feel for eachother. You need to want the same things in life, accept eachother fully for whom you are, hae the same goals and dreams in life. If you are not going the same way, it doesn't matter how you feel for eachtoher, you will always face problems. People need to be compatible together, thats when things work.

14.       mltm
3690 posts
 25 Aug 2007 Sat 04:40 pm

Well, I don't think that he'll change. Ofcourse not all turkish men are like him, but in some cultures the patriarchy is more efficient and the women are not really equal to men in especially relationships and marrigae. I do not say that protection of a man is not good, on the contrary I like it, but respect and regarding woman as an individual who has a mind to think and decide are vital.
Again I don't think he'll change, this has become a part of his personality, he has grown up with this way of thinking, it's not something you can change by talking over it, so...

15.       xkirstyx
363 posts
 25 Aug 2007 Sat 04:44 pm

....And if he does change, like they always promise they will lol he will only change for the shortest amount of time to keep you ammused.

16.       kat007
95 posts
 25 Aug 2007 Sat 04:44 pm

RULES RULES RULES!!!

Don't get me started. These are some of the rules the nice english girlfriends and american girlfriends of Turkish men have to deal with. [Flash warning sign]

1) Can't go night clubbing
2) Can't go to the bars
3) Can't wear skimpy clothes when going out
4) Can't go swimming or beach wearing a bikini or a swimsuit
5) If you go out with girls he wants to know where
6) Can't talk on the phone with your ex bf
7) Can't have any male friends (he'll pout and sulk until you give in. Or he'll chase them all away by acting rude/possessive)
8) Need to answer his call when you're out or he'll wonder what you did
9) He wants to go everywhere with you and follow you around
1 Traveling by yourself--Forget it!
11) When you smile at guys or talk to guys on the street when he's around watch out--lecture coming
12) You can't even hug your male cousins
13) Some of the religious ones, he won't even let you stay in a room or living room alone with one of his brothers
14) He'll annouce that you're his gf if you talk to any males and he'll stay glued next to you.
15) If there's males on the sofa/couch you can't sit there.

17.       MrX67
2540 posts
 25 Aug 2007 Sat 04:48 pm

Quoting kat007:

RULES RULES RULES!!!

Don't get me started. These are some of the rules the nice english girlfriends and american girlfriends of Turkish men have to deal with. [Flash warning sign]

1) Can't go night clubbing
2) Can't go to the bars
3) Can't wear skimpy clothes when going out
4) Can't go swimming or beach wearing a bikini or a swimsuit
5) If you go out with girls he wants to know where
6) Can't talk on the phone with your ex bf
7) Can't have any male friends (he'll pout and sulk until you give in. Or he'll chase them all away by acting rude/possessive)sure women not equal individuals with men on most of areas of Turkey,and still some odd social rules working for make unhappy to most of inncent Turkish women ,beside that thats really good to some logical rules for keep in safe a relationship...(sure for both side,not just to women)
8) Need to answer his call when you're out or he'll wonder what you did
9) He wants to go everywhere with you and follow you around
1 Traveling by yourself--Forget it!
11) When you smile at guys or talk to guys on the street when he's around watch out--lecture coming
12) You can't even hug your male cousins
13) Some of the religious ones, he won't even let you stay in a room or living room alone with one of his brothers
14) He'll annouce that you're his gf if you talk to any males and he'll stay glued next to you.
15) If there's males on the sofa/couch you can't sit there.

well i think we talked about this many times on different threads,noone can't say women rights perfect or enough in Turkey and we all know many women under big pressure of men and society on many parts of Turkey as the second class individulas,and thats really one of biggest social wound of our great country.still od stuck tradition rules working for make unhappier to many innocent Turkish women and that all have to change.beside that some logical rules really good to keep healthy a good relationships,and thats only possible with a limited jealousy

18.       xkirstyx
363 posts
 25 Aug 2007 Sat 04:49 pm

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

19.       turquoise
938 posts
 25 Aug 2007 Sat 04:50 pm

Quoting lynda0090:

i have no problems with the way he treats me....its just a bit alien to me. He makes me feel very special.

Thanks Lynda



maybe just because youve never been treated like that but thats why they always lose their girlfriends cuz they make love a monster and that gnaws into ur head.im sure it wont feel special in the future,and even if u get engaged or married that would be worse.
sorry to say bad things but i just wanted u to make sure if u dont wanna be a bird in cage

20.       CANLI
5084 posts
 25 Aug 2007 Sat 05:18 pm

No,it has nothing to do with Turkish women rights here Mrx.
Because the women here are not Turkish,and Turkish bf's know that very well,so they are accepting the thought that they are different from Turkish women.
But he is putting his rules to for his gf aswell to accept the fact that he is Turkish and not from same culture or country as she is.

Yes,Turkish men are protective,and they dont like anyone to look to their women too.
They dont hide it from day 1,do they ?

But heyy, didnt you pick them for that ?!
Because they are different than the ones you knew back home ?!
So why complaining about it?
Just take it or leave it!

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