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Military service announcement??
(203 Messages in 21 pages - View all)
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140.       azade
1606 posts
 28 Jan 2008 Mon 03:31 pm

Quoting thehandsom:


It is a completely waste of time I am afraid.
He will be talking about his memories for next couple of years (in some severe cases, he might be even talking about it his entire life )
But the good thing is, he will be compliant for a while, he wont go out without telling you or he will be telling you what he will do and when he will be back etc..



Haha you are right. Although I did promise him I would make him forget he was ever there..any suggestions?

I think most (if not all) soldiers after finishing duty should have the offer of a session with a psychologist if they have been stationed in areas where they have seen a lot of death. It's not a problem for all, but for some. From Denmark I know that a lot of the soldiers who came back with repressed memories that were unattended and it has caused problems for many of them in terms of adjusting to normal society again.

141.       azade
1606 posts
 28 Jan 2008 Mon 03:40 pm

Quoting bodrumgirl:

Hi Azade, did your husband do the full 15 months??

People say it goes fast , but it sure as hell dont for me.....i have to say!! I guess being together the year leading up to him going in made it all the harder.....always together and then nothing.....!!

Congratulations on making it through yours though!!! wow bet your so excited to be getting him back so soon!!

I am lucky that we get to speak most days on the phone, but he hasnt been given a day off for 5 weeks now so I miss seeing him on MSN.........but then again thats hard coz the minute hes gone i miss him more than ever again!! No pleasing me really...! Just want him out and done with it. Hated having that cloud always hanging over us so in one way its good its all underway...at least when he comes out we can continue to make our plans for the future!!

Take care



I used to feel the same way, every day was such a drag, but after half of the time was over I started seeing the light at the end of the looong tunnel and now when I look back on it, it has not been so bad. I hope you will feel differently about it soon. Look he has finished 5 months which is 1/3 (or more if it's cut!) - I used to make these kind of calculations all the time But if it doesn't help you don't do it, sometimes it can seem endless.

Yes he's doing 15 months. The first 3 months were relatively easy for us, as he got an afternoon off every other weekend, but for the last year he's been stationed a dangerous place so they are not allowed to leave the "base" (but even if they were it wouldn't really matter, it's a tiny village).
But once you get used to the rhythm it gets easier...slowly.

We are going to take as much time as we need away from everything now and just enjoy life for a little bit. Makes every day of the remaining days so hard!

142.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 28 Jan 2008 Mon 03:47 pm

Quoting azade:

Quoting thehandsom:


It is a completely waste of time I am afraid.
He will be talking about his memories for next couple of years (in some severe cases, he might be even talking about it his entire life )
But the good thing is, he will be compliant for a while, he wont go out without telling you or he will be telling you what he will do and when he will be back etc..



Haha you are right. Although I did promise him I would make him forget he was ever there..any suggestions?


well...ermm..ummmmm..It is better if I dont comment on that

Quoting azade:


I think most (if not all) soldiers after finishing duty should have the offer of a session with a psychologist if they have been stationed in areas where they have seen a lot of death. It's not a problem for all, but for some. From Denmark I know that a lot of the soldiers who came back with repressed memories that were unattended and it has caused problems for many of them in terms of adjusting to normal society again.


And about the sessions with a psychologist, I dont think it will be necessary. He will just go to kahvehanes and will find many of his friends in the same situation; they will talk about their memories on and on. And then ex soldiers will join; they will say 'Turkia is great. Thanks to you we slept in peace. When it comes to the fatherland blah blah etc'.
It is a kind of group therapy (we dont offer psychologists to our soldiers, but you cant offer that kind of group therapy either in your country) lol

143.       bodrumgirl
91 posts
 28 Jan 2008 Mon 03:49 pm

ohhhhh i wish you both every happiness for the future. This is going to be an amazing year for you both. Just enjoy every moment that you are together!!

yes i try to cut it into segments too...... getting into this year was good as at least hes coming back THIS year now.........im back in the Uk at the moment to sort out some things but will be back there as soon as I can. I will go to visit him, but as I say he hasnt had a day off for weeks......should be saturdays but when they do control they always manage to find something wrong somewhere and so the whole lot of them get free days cancelled!!

Good luck to you both!!
nice to meet you !

144.       azade
1606 posts
 28 Jan 2008 Mon 03:57 pm

Quoting thehandsom:


And about the sessions with a psychologist, I dont think it will be necessary. He will just go to kahvehanes and will find many of his friends in the same situation; they will talk about their memories on and on. And then ex soldiers will join; they will say 'Turkia is great. Thanks to you we slept in peace. When it comes to the fatherland blah blah etc'.
It is a kind of group therapy (we dont offer psychologists to our soldiers, but you cant offer that kind of group therapy either in your country) lol



Maybe that's what happened to Alpha! People do tend to glorify the past in such a setting lol

I don't think a psychologist session should be standard procedure, I'm sure most people are stable enough and can find kahvehanes to process it

145.       azade
1606 posts
 28 Jan 2008 Mon 03:59 pm

Quoting bodrumgirl:

ohhhhh i wish you both every happiness for the future. This is going to be an amazing year for you both. Just enjoy every moment that you are together!!

yes i try to cut it into segments too...... getting into this year was good as at least hes coming back THIS year now.........im back in the Uk at the moment to sort out some things but will be back there as soon as I can. I will go to visit him, but as I say he hasnt had a day off for weeks......should be saturdays but when they do control they always manage to find something wrong somewhere and so the whole lot of them get free days cancelled!!

Good luck to you both!!
nice to meet you !



Thanks for your wishes I hope it will go as amooth as possible for you, you seem to be well balanced about the situation so just have patience (easier said than done I know)

146.       AlphaF
5677 posts
 28 Jan 2008 Mon 04:25 pm

Quoting bodrumgirl:

Hi Alpha,

He understands perfectly what is expected of him during his military service . I am sure he makes a good soldier . He is a very hardworker and puts 100% into anything he takes on so I have no doubt about that!!

Do you think they will cut the time of service?? Would you expect that to be 12 months????



I have no idea...That there is a possibilty is what I read in the papers.

147.       AlphaF
5677 posts
 28 Jan 2008 Mon 04:34 pm

Quoting azade:

Quoting thehandsom:


It is a completely waste of time I am afraid.
He will be talking about his memories for next couple of years (in some severe cases, he might be even talking about it his entire life )
But the good thing is, he will be compliant for a while, he wont go out without telling you or he will be telling you what he will do and when he will be back etc..



Haha you are right. Although I did promise him I would make him forget he was ever there..any suggestions?

I think most (if not all) soldiers after finishing duty should have the offer of a session with a psychologist if they have been stationed in areas where they have seen a lot of death. It's not a problem for all, but for some. From Denmark I know that a lot of the soldiers who came back with repressed memories that were unattended and it has caused problems for many of them in terms of adjusting to normal society again.



There is a great difference between Turkish and Danish Armies. If you want to be really popular in Denmark, ask your pretty Danish friends how the Danish Army deserted their posts and the Bosnians entrusted to their honor and protection, in Bosnia. Do you know how many moslem Bosnians (civilians) were killed, when guarding Danish soldiers ran away in broad daylight? Did Danish papers write this story?

They can possibly keep chockies in their lockers and are free to grow their hair, but dont ask me how they keep their heads up, without a spine.

Denmark should have been dishonorably kicked out from NATO !

How is this for laughs, if you are a real moslem and a real humanist?

148.       teaschip
3870 posts
 28 Jan 2008 Mon 04:58 pm

Quoting azade:

Well I'm muslim but I believe that one should not throw their life away for something they don't believe in.
Fighting for one's homeland is a great and admireable deed, but there should be pure intentions behind it and no one should be forced to do it.
If everyone (men and women) had the choice of joining the army you would get loads of great soldiers who would defend their homeland much better than twice the amount of drafted soldiers. If you don't want to completely throw away the concept of mandatory army service then give them a choice to do something else, there's loads of things they could do for the community instead.

On the thought of helping families of young martyrs, don't you think the families would be more proud than bitter if they knew their sons (or daughters) did it because it was something they believed in?



I agree Azade..It should not be forced upon you.

149.       teaschip
3870 posts
 28 Jan 2008 Mon 05:04 pm

Quoting AlphaF:

Quoting azade:

Quoting thehandsom:


It is a completely waste of time I am afraid.
He will be talking about his memories for next couple of years (in some severe cases, he might be even talking about it his entire life )
But the good thing is, he will be compliant for a while, he wont go out without telling you or he will be telling you what he will do and when he will be back etc..



Haha you are right. Although I did promise him I would make him forget he was ever there..any suggestions?

I think most (if not all) soldiers after finishing duty should have the offer of a session with a psychologist if they have been stationed in areas where they have seen a lot of death. It's not a problem for all, but for some. From Denmark I know that a lot of the soldiers who came back with repressed memories that were unattended and it has caused problems for many of them in terms of adjusting to normal society again.



There is a great difference between Turkish and Danish Armies. If you want to be really popular in Denmark, ask your pretty Danish friends how the Danish Army deserted their posts and the Bosnians entrrusted to their honor and protection, in Bosnia. Do you know how many moslem Bosnians (civilians) were killed, when guarding Danish soldiers ran away in broad daylight? Did Danish papers write this story?

They can possibly keep chockies in their lockers and are free to grow their hair, but dont ask me how they keep their heads up, without a spine.

How is this for laughs, if you are a real moslem and a real humanist?



Just like Turkey, Denmark's military is mandated. I wonder if this situation would not have happened if these soldiers enlisted voluntairly and actually was committed to being there.

150.       AlphaF
5677 posts
 28 Jan 2008 Mon 05:09 pm

Azade,

Now that Tea sides with you....you can be sure you are wrong.
She never got one thing straight, in her life.

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