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Merhaba Herkese,
Thank you so very much for your advice and telling it like it is.
Yes, playing games is juvenile and is so silly of me.
I have taken him down the biggest guilt trip you can ever imagine, and i've never heard a man (or boy?? i'm not sure which category he falls into now, probably a boy) cry as much as him, he really is VERY regretful.
Things have moved on slightly, he has ended it with her by phone and said he will not see her again - ever.
Four days ago now and he said he is not concerned about her feelings at all.
When I told him I am human and I do not want her to hurt or cry, he said 'dont worry for this, she will not cry, she doesn't really love me!'
It is lust not love for her, she is lusting after him, he is so very beautiful / stunning /phhhhwwwwoar ;o>
She is very turkish and very jealous, for her it was knowing that she could successfully take him away from me and 'win him' so sad, but true.
She has not put up a fight for him since because she knows it is impossible. He does truly love me.
Anyway, i am not texting him / contacting him for the next few days before the weekend, which doesnt sound like much, but it is killing him not to hear from me.
I switched my mobile phone off, and when I turned it on briefly last night, there were 9 texts from him! and several missed calls. It is driving him crazy
He has been playing 'mind games' with me for too long now, and I don't want to put up with it any longer. Furthermore, I dont need to.
This is the first time in the nearly three years that i have been with him, that we havent texted / spoke to each other and it is really hurting me (as him)
One of his texts read....
My darling, I am feeling like shit (Sorry for the language) and i am hurting so much not receiving your texts and hearing your voice. I know i am a bxxxxxd and I dont deserve your love. I can't sleep and I cant stop crying, I am listening to all our special songs and feeling every word stab at me like a knife.
I know you need time to forgive me, and i hope that you will. I promise you next time we live together,we will have only mutlu gunler - happy days right ?
His last text to me read like this (and got me so angry!!!) but i didnt retaliate / react to it.....
Charlotte, what are you doing? why you make your phone go closed? I think you are going with another man now, I dont believe you have stayed faithful to me and not gone with another
Can you believe it!!
As hard as it is, i looked at the texts because i was curious, then I turned my phone off (without replying to his texts) and smiled to myself that he is upset and he doesn't know what i am doing, forgiving him or going out there to look for somebody that will appreciate me and all the love I give!!
I am (I know I'm STUPID)but I am waiting for him, I love him to much to ever be unfaithful.
Over the next few days (while we are not in touch) I am going to post a letter onto the translation website so i can send this to him by post, when he reads this, he will understand more how i felt and hopefully feel to guilty to do anything like this again.
If he does feel guilty - he truly loves me
If he doesn't call me after this letter / text me in his agreement, then I will have my answer on his feelings and move on with my life.
I still intend to live in Kuzey Kibris in the next 12-18 months, but on my terms and for me, not for him.
I dont NEED him, but i love him ! ;o>
I know you all think i'm çok deli :o> but that is what being in love does to you ! its like being drunk - you dont know what you are doing.
I will post the letter in stages, section by section for it to be translated, i just hope it doesnt lose its importance or meaning when changed to the very beautiful çok zor ama ! turkish language
Bekir's english is so good now, but I don't want to speak my native language
Turkçe birlikte konuşyorum istiyor?
xxx Charlotte Rosexxxx
Thank you for being such fantastic friends !!!
xxxxxx 
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- 'Let's bring on the boyfriend and see what he has to say'! Boo!! Shame!!! Etc Etc!
