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Living - working in Turkey

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A Turkish husband
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410.       cocoanna
2 posts
 11 Jun 2009 Thu 09:34 pm

Hi, I´m Cocoanna from Singapore. What I really see here about the discussions is really a lot to do with inter-countries marriages. And one thing to take note of is that Turkey is in fact an interesting country, coz it is really in the middle of Europe & Asian. (Eurasian country.)

 

It really depends on which part of Turkey the man Fatimah will meet. Cities area guys are more open-minded while those from the villages are more traditional. And with all the easy access to internet learning, people´s mindset are changing fast too.

 

Well, my race is Eurasian, I´m a product of West meet East. I do believe that people from different countries can come together in marriages but it really takes a lot of efforts from both sides to make it work. And that includes both families and mutual cultural understanding too. 

 

My paternal grandpa is from Portugal, who travel & met a local girl in Burma... married her and produced 18 kids!!! Wow!!!!

Then my dearest Papa (2nd son) came to Singapore to seek his fortune and met my Mama who is from China... so they married and had 3 kids... I, being the youngest.

 

I always wondered if I will even have such a cross-distance & culture marriages as what they went through... then my chance came when I met a turkish guy online. We became online friends in sept 07 coz he wanna learn English, as he saw in my profile that I am a kindergarten English teacher.

 

Now I am also in love with him and I did fly to see him last year  in March for a week... after 5 months of daily non-stop chatting.... highest record is 13.5 hours on a sunday. We even have our meals in front of the pc, only going away for nature calls. That was how ´in love´ we were in the beginning.


Well, I got to admit that being in an environment where the people did not even speak a common language (English) as me is a bit depressive. My guy and I can only communicated using paper & pen all the times... yet on the other hand, it was really romantic and interesting. Not to mention all the funny incidents caused by the barrier in language... they are unforgettable.

 

Especially that incident when both are us are trying to use all kinds of funny gestures to buy groceries in supermart. I almost had to end up making the sounds of the animals (meat) that I wanna to buy. All the staff at the supermart were looking at us as if we are both totally ´nutcases´.... hahaha!

 

Yes, I also admit that Turkish people are very humorous and I love watching the comedies... it crosses all language barriers coz the shows are sooooo funny.

Till this day, we are still keeping in touch by email and sometimes through MSN every few days... it is about 21 months of relationship now... the unique love for each other will still be there even if we cannot be together. At least we did take wedding pics & had a small celebration with friends for memories before I left for Singapore. 

 

Coz his parents are not ready for a daughter-in-law who cannot speak their language as well as I´m from another faith. He is the only son, with 2 younger sisters. He´s been trying to convert me, while I´m also teasing him to convert, coz of my strong upbringing in my faith. My Godparents will nagged at me if I ever think of converting. Yet it is fun as we learn to compare notes on our 2 different faiths; I teach him my Bible and he teaches me his Quran.

 

Then he teaches me basic Turkish while I also try to teach him my mother tongue in Mandarin. The best part about having different mother tongues? When we get angry with each other, we used our own languages to ´scold´ each other. It is so funny when the other person got to go check dictionary on what the hack we did said earlier.... hahahaha!

We did make a pace to try to meet each other once in a year till death do us part... Or maybe until the day when he settled down with a sweet Turkish wife as what his parents would preferred. But till then, we can always be heart to heart best friends. 

 

Turkish people are generally warm and nice. And depends a lot on the upbringing too, as I am lucky to meet a guy who cares a lot about his family. I values strong family ties (Asian blood in me, I think) and that is the main point I am very attracted to him. And yes, Turks are very protective of their women.

 

I remember he brought me to Izmir and other Turks try to get to know me. They even went up to him and ask if they can have sex with me, despite the facts I did followed his advice to dress like a ´turkish girl´. (Long sleeved top with long jeans, only exposed my face, hair  and hands.) I did try to be as low key as possible when we goes out.  (My country is tropical and very hot all year round, my normal wear will be mini short & cool top... my Turkish guy will ´faint´ if I wear that in his hometown. He always say people will think I am a ´bad girl´. Ooops... )

 

Anyway, he scolded them and quickly brought me back to his car and went back home. He did shared with me coz I´m foreigner and some Turks will think I am ´easy´. I felt very safe under his protection. He is a gentleman who command respect among his workers, even though they are older than him. Coz of his gentle yet firm manners, I can see that he is a good leader. His workers are also very friendly.

 

At first when I met his workers , they do not look at me. I wondered why until he shared that according to his faith, Muslim men does not look at other man´s wife. So there are a lot of cultural & religious habits we need to understand and accept in order to fit into the families norm there. This is important in all marriages. U agreed?

 

I have learnt a lot from him about Turks. One thing I know is that if a Turk is sincere as friend, he will respects you and ask your permission. But need to be careful coz being guys, they always want to see you in webcam and sometimes want to try test if they can see ´more´ further. I have learnt to only open cam to my good Turkish friends, and not just to any Turks.

 

It takes time to know a person, regardless of countries or races or culture. There will always be the good among the bad, the bad among the good... and people does changed with age.

 

Marriage can be heaven on earth, and it can be hell on earth as well. It really depends on what Fatimah wants... And the Turkish man she might meet in life.

 

I wish her luck in her search.

411.       ReyhanL
1961 posts
 11 Jun 2009 Thu 09:59 pm

 

Quoting Irishclove

 

 

 I never been to Hungary, I hear it is a very beautiful country.  The closest I´ve been to it was Cluj-Napoca Romania.  Lots of people of hungarian decent there, as a matter of fact lots of them spoke hungarian.  Food was awesome, especially the soups.

 

And gulaþ Razz

412.       vineyards
1954 posts
 11 Jun 2009 Thu 10:11 pm

 

Quoting Platschu

Hungary is "Magyarország". But nobody could follow my message if I use these names.

 

 

Well I think I cannot quite pronounce  "Magyarország". Thinking of all the worlds languages some of which have some very exotic vowels and some no wovels at all, it will be the best to continue call them with names registered in our language. Nevertheless, we call you Macar (pronounced Muh-jar) and I feel it is close enough to the native version. The most common association would be with "Macar salamý"

meaning Hungarian salamy. It happens to be one of my favourites. I´ve always heard of Gulas but never had a chance to taste it. Many Turks believe Hungarians and Turks are distant relatives (not taking into account the mix up with other Europeans that occured at a later time).   What do you think?

413.       ReyhanL
1961 posts
 11 Jun 2009 Thu 10:15 pm

This is true. And hungarian is an a aglutinative language as turkish

414.       Platschu
29 posts
 11 Jun 2009 Thu 10:53 pm

OFF

 

Irishclove: Technically Cluj-Napoca was a Hungarian city before World War I, but we supported Germany, so we lost lot of area. The eastiest part of Transylvannia, what is called as "Erdély" in our language, there live 1,5 million Hungarian as a minority. If you read some article about our history, you will know much more. Lot of people can not forget what happened 89 years ago, but I think we have to make peace with Romanians and Slovakians.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treaty_of_Trianon

 

ON



Edited (6/11/2009) by Platschu

415.       ReyhanL
1961 posts
 11 Jun 2009 Thu 11:04 pm

Yes but before was and also today is romanian land I will get you

416.       Platschu
29 posts
 11 Jun 2009 Thu 11:09 pm

 

Quoting ReyhanL

Yes but before was and also today is romanian land I will get you

 

Yes, I know. I don´t want any border changes, because I would like to see peace between the two folk. This is the most important.  Angel



Edited (6/11/2009) by Platschu

417.       ReyhanL
1961 posts
 11 Jun 2009 Thu 11:12 pm

Alcoholics

418.       AlphaF
5677 posts
 12 Jun 2009 Fri 12:02 am

Sen herkese akil vermeyi birak da, babana bir sor bakalim, memleketinin adi neymis; "Turkey" derse sen haklisin...



Edited (6/12/2009) by AlphaF

419.       vineyards
1954 posts
 12 Jun 2009 Fri 12:14 am

 

Quoting AlphaF

Sen herkese akil vermeyi birak da, babana bir sor bakalim, memleketinin adi neymis; "Turkey" derse sen haklisin...

 

I have a good and working relationship with my father who happens to be a lot more patriotic than I am. He also speaks English and I have never ever heard him say "Turkia" when he refers to our country in English. Maybe you will want to say: like the son, like the father but don´t worry;  it is not like I have very high expectations of you anyway.

420.       alameda
3499 posts
 12 Jun 2009 Fri 12:47 am

 

Quoting vineyards

 

 

I have a good and working relationship with my father who happens to be a lot more patriotic than I am. He also speaks English and I have never ever heard him say "Turkia" when he refers to our country in English. Maybe you will want to say: like the son, like the father but don´t worry;  it is not like I have very high expectations of you anyway.

 

 A little off topic, but I never really know exactly how to mispronounce names in the US, particularly French and Spanish ones.  Names like Versailles I have heard pronunced Ver sail ee us....it can get confusing.  Japan is not Japan it´s really Nippon, Spain isn´t Spain, it´s Espana...but I don´t even have the right character for it...the n is sort of a combination n +y.....

 

I think most of us do the best we can.  It sounds pretty pretentious when people start pronouncing names correctly some times.  They can be speaking English and all of a sudden they come on a name in another language and pronounce it the "native" manner. 

 

As I said....I never know exactly how to mispronounce names in certain situations.

 

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